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Judge Roybeanbag

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8 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Well, this goes here.  Went and fished the Llano yesterday.  I was the only one on my stretch, because only fucking insane people fish when it's 105 (it was still 103 when I got off the water at 8:00).  I drank all the water and Body Armor I'd brought with me.  But on the way home, needed some sustenance.  Am I annoyed by the fact that the multiple gas stations with a "Coopers fried chicken" sign up did not have any actual fried chicken products?  Yes I was.  But I found victory.  Or, at least Steel Shank thread victory.
Picadilly Circus  brand combo pizza from the VP fuel station in Llano (wait....now that I look at the label more closely, that is a "CBR"...which would explain the random chunks of chicken breast under the cheese).  Know what makes it even BETTER?  As I put it on the counter to pay, the, ummm, challenged individual working behind the counter says "you can just have it - I was getting ready to throw it out."  Well....VICTORY!  $5 I didn't have to spend.  Free pizza rules.
 
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Now, a bit of a caveat here....it was easily the worst pizza I've ever eaten.  And I burned more than a few Fox DeLuxe .89 cent pizzas at 3:00 am back in the day (and I still ate every one of them).  After piece #1, I just scraped the cheese and toppings off and ate those. 
So then, in Liberty Hill, I stopped and got a spicy chicken sandwich from Golden Chick (fine....but WTF with the giant brioche buns? Nothing "brioche" should exist at a Golden Chick, much less in Liberty Hill).  No pics, it was just a generic chicken sandwich with too goddamned much bread.

It’s been probably more than 15 years since I’ve had Picadilly Circus, and I was like 22, really stoned, and dunking it in ranch, but I never remember it being truly awful.

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It’s been probably more than 15 years since I’ve had Picadilly Circus, and I was like 22, really stoned, and dunking it in ranch, but I never remember it being truly awful.

I presume that it had something to do with it being a godawful chicken breast pizza, which was shitty to begin with, and then was old enough that even a guy with an IQ of probably 75 was gonna throw it away…but I, being of clearly superior intellect…ate it.
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44 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


I presume that it had something to do with it being a godawful chicken breast pizza, which was shitty to begin with, and then was old enough that even a guy with an IQ of probably 75 was gonna throw it away…but I, being of clearly superior intellect…ate it.

I’d never turn down free gas station pizza either.  I have zero rom for judgement on this front.

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32 minutes ago, South Austin said:

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Back in the dorms at ISU, it was common for my buddies to drunkenly order Pokey Sticks from Gumby's (I believe Austin has Gumby's as well, so I don't think I need to explain it), eat part of it, pass out, and then forget to refrigerate them.

Not having grown up on hog farms literally surrounded by shit most of their childhoods, they had much daintier sensibilities than I did and would decide that 5-6 hours of baked bread and cheese being unrefrigerated made it inedible.  As they would go to toss their unwanted (but completely fine) food out, I would usually intervene (having been raised in the German Catholic tradition of wasting food being on par with murder) and prevent the waste.  Eventually it reached the point, where if I saw the pizza boxes tossed in the hall, I'd investigate, and if good food was being tossed, I'd take it upon myself to prevent it.

One night, my buddy Joe suggested that we all play poker on a night we didn't normally play poker.  Like a Monday or Tuesday.  After plenty of beers, I was hungry.  Joe sensed the opportunity and goes "hey Al, got some leftover Pokey Sticks if you want 'em".  I took one bite and it was - odd - almost minty.  I took another bite and realized it was definitely minty, and these fuckers were stuffed with toothpaste.

One night after not finishing his Pokey Sticks, my buddy Joe waited a day until they got really brittle, then fileted one with an exacto knife, stuffed it with toothpaste and set it in the hall.  He knew damn well that I would literally take the bait, and hilarity would ensue.

This didn't stop my scavenging of leftover cheese/carb products, but I always made damn sure they weren't laced with toothpaste after that.

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1 minute ago, Al_4_ISU said:

(I believe Austin has Gumby's as well, so I don't think I need to explain it)

No explanation needed.  I also went to college my first two years at North Carolina State, and they had Gumby's in Raleigh as well, so I ate a shitload of Pokey Sticks and pizza my four years in undergrad.  I never had the toothpaste flavor, though.

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1 hour ago, South Austin said:

That Brisket would gladly take an expired gas station pizza just before it made its way to the trash makes me understand the despondent and hopeless nature of his posts even more.

If you think you're too good for food that is headed for the trash, there are other websites out there for you, you are welcome to post there -- you have our blessing.

Hell, by your snootiness, you've insulted not just me, but the clerk at the Llano VP fuels who looked a lot like the Stork, except without glasses.

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1 hour ago, Al_4_ISU said:

As they would go to toss their unwanted (but completely fine) food out, I would usually intervene (having been raised in the German Catholic tradition of wasting food being on par with murder) and prevent the waste. 

Relatable.

And people who don't eat leftovers need to be culled from society. 

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Back in the dorms at ISU, it was common for my buddies to drunkenly order Pokey Sticks from Gumby's (I believe Austin has Gumby's as well, so I don't think I need to explain it), eat part of it, pass out, and then forget to refrigerate them.
Not having grown up on hog farms literally surrounded by shit most of their childhoods, they had much daintier sensibilities than I did and would decide that 5-6 hours of baked bread and cheese being unrefrigerated made it inedible.  As they would go to toss their unwanted (but completely fine) food out, I would usually intervene (having been raised in the German Catholic tradition of wasting food being on par with murder) and prevent the waste.  Eventually it reached the point, where if I saw the pizza boxes tossed in the hall, I'd investigate, and if good food was being tossed, I'd take it upon myself to prevent it.
One night, my buddy Joe suggested that we all play poker on a night we didn't normally play poker.  Like a Monday or Tuesday.  After plenty of beers, I was hungry.  Joe sensed the opportunity and goes "hey Al, got some leftover Pokey Sticks if you want 'em".  I took one bite and it was - odd - almost minty.  I took another bite and realized it was definitely minty, and these fuckers were stuffed with toothpaste.
One night after not finishing his Pokey Sticks, my buddy Joe waited a day until they got really brittle, then fileted one with an exacto knife, stuffed it with toothpaste and set it in the hall.  He knew damn well that I would literally take the bait, and hilarity would ensue.
This didn't stop my scavenging of leftover cheese/carb products, but I always made damn sure they weren't laced with toothpaste after that.

I have to admit, in college with no money, a couple buddies and I would venture to a couple of large dance clubs we knew how to sneak thru the back and cruise around the place which would be dark and lurk awaiting folks to get up to dance. Just slide buy a scoop up a drink on the table and go to a table and we’d chug our loot. “I got half a G&T! What’s you get? “ “I got a fucking pink squirrel! Fuck!” “ I snagged a cold Full Moosehead!” Slug ‘em down and go get another. It was always a lousy buzz from mixing all kinds of shit and you had to toss about half being melted ice or having a sunken cigarette butt. Amazing we never got herpes or caught or accidentally roofied. Not a proud moment but resourceful in a time of need. The hunt was the real thrill.

I told my wife this story about 38 years ago and she was appalled.
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44 minutes ago, Texzilla58 said:


I have to admit, in college with no money, a couple buddies and I would venture to a couple of large dance clubs we knew how to sneak thru the back and cruise around the place which would be dark and lurk awaiting folks to get up to dance. Just slide buy a scoop up a drink on the table and go to a table and we’d chug our loot. “I got half a G&T! What’s you get? “ “I got a fucking pink squirrel! Fuck!” “ I snagged a cold Full Moosehead!” Slug ‘em down and go get another. It was always a lousy buzz from mixing all kinds of shit and you had to toss about half being melted ice or having a sunken cigarette butt. Amazing we never got herpes or caught or accidentally roofied. Not a proud moment but resourceful in a time of need. The hunt was the real thrill.

I told my wife this story about 38 years ago and she was appalled.

Similarly, I had a roommate who was notorious for starting a beer, drinking half of it, setting it down and forgetting it before starting the next.  Cleaning up the next day, we’d find half full beers in his brand all over the house.

So one of our other roommates just started laying in wait for the first fallen soldier to drop, and then swim in that guy’s wake the rest of the night 

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17 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I’d never turn down free gas station pizza either.  I have zero rom for judgement on this front.

Our only chain gas station is a Casey’s. Their employee turnover rate is higher than that of the Texas Longhorns’ head coach position. 
They might have bacon, egg, and cheese croissants on the breakfast warmer, but probably not. They might have sausage pizza on the lunch warmer, but probably not.  However, as dependable as at least one of the gas pumps being out of order is a fully-stocked supper warmer at 7:45 p.m.  The employees are instructed to shut down the food equipment and throw away everything leftover at 8:00 p.m.   They load up that warmer with fresh pizza right before closing time. 

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2 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Our only chain gas station is a Casey’s. Their employee turnover rate is higher than that of the Texas Longhorns’ head coach position. 
They might have bacon, egg, and cheese croissants on the breakfast warmer, but probably not. They might have sausage pizza on the lunch warmer, but probably not.  However, as dependable as at least one of the gas pumps being out of order is a fully-stocked supper warmer at 7:45 p.m.  The employees are instructed to shut down the food equipment and throw away everything leftover at 8:00 p.m.   They load up that warmer with fresh pizza right before closing time. 

That franchise is just cratering over the past 4-5 years and it’s just sad.  Casey’s pizza was an absolute treat as a kid.  When they added the subs about 12–15 years ago, it became my go-to.

The closest one to our farm finally quit making made to order subs earlier this year and it was my final straw.

I stop at Casey’s when it’s the only game in town, but not if I have options.  We have Kwik Stars in county seat towns (where I live) and they blow Casey’s so far out of the water in every facet except pizza.

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6 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Back in the dorms at ISU, it was common for my buddies to drunkenly order Pokey Sticks from Gumby's (I believe Austin has Gumby's as well, so I don't think I need to explain it), eat part of it, pass out, and then forget to refrigerate them.

Not having grown up on hog farms literally surrounded by shit most of their childhoods, they had much daintier sensibilities than I did and would decide that 5-6 hours of baked bread and cheese being unrefrigerated made it inedible.  As they would go to toss their unwanted (but completely fine) food out, I would usually intervene (having been raised in the German Catholic tradition of wasting food being on par with murder) and prevent the waste.  Eventually it reached the point, where if I saw the pizza boxes tossed in the hall, I'd investigate, and if good food was being tossed, I'd take it upon myself to prevent it.

My parents always put the box of leftover Pizza Hut in the oven to be eaten the next day.  Never was a problem. 

2 hours ago, Texzilla58 said:


I have to admit, in college with no money, a couple buddies and I would venture to a couple of large dance clubs we knew how to sneak thru the back and cruise around the place which would be dark and lurk awaiting folks to get up to dance. Just slide buy a scoop up a drink on the table and go to a table and we’d chug our loot. “I got half a G&T! What’s you get? “ “I got a fucking pink squirrel! Fuck!” “ I snagged a cold Full Moosehead!” Slug ‘em down and go get another. It was always a lousy buzz from mixing all kinds of shit and you had to toss about half being melted ice or having a sunken cigarette butt. Amazing we never got herpes or caught or accidentally roofied. Not a proud moment but resourceful in a time of need. The hunt was the real thrill.

I told my wife this story about 38 years ago and she was appalled.

This is fucking awesome. 

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This is fucking awesome. 

Also in college days we’d want to have a frat party. We weren’t big as it was a small school but money was scarce. The treasurer would say we don’t have enough for even one keg. I’d tell him to give me a couple hundred. The next day I’d bring him six. I could buy a pound of weed and turn it quick and then we’d finance a couple kegs and some me booze. The Dean of students and a group of profs were our best customers. They had money which beat selling to broke ass students. “How much for just a half a joint worth man? “. Fuck that shit. We used the atomic scale in the chem lab to weigh it out.
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When pissing at the HORDE fest in the mid 90s there would be a line of mostly full beers on the shelf that could be reached from inside and outside the mens executive washroom.  Guys would always go up and grab beers from the outside if you left yours up there from the inside.  Gotta police your brass.

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Sorry about the fancy plating, but thought of this thread when I heated up some chili while cleaning out the freezer today. Harkens back to my days of Chili cheese burritos from T Bell. If I’d had some Fritos it would’ve been turned to 11, but Trader Joe’s jalapeño sauce was a nice touch.

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Edited by Etexhorn13
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6 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

is that a whole-wheat tortilla?   If so, why don't you just write a post about your preferred tampon and how you feel about Miranda not being in the Sex and the City remake.

Huh.  I did not know they were remaking Sex and the City.

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That looks great but for the lack of some chopped onions.

What am I reminded of are the late great chili tacos from back when Chili’s was a favorite restaurant. We were living in Memphis and Chili’s was a like a trip to Texas. Chili tacos, fajitas, composed nachos, old timer with chili, cold beer. I miss that place.that would have been about 85. Usually had a 90 minute wait.

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7 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

is that a whole-wheat tortilla?   If so, why don't you just write a post about your preferred tampon and how you feel about Miranda not being in the Sex and the City remake.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the key to the Shank thread is utilizing shit you have laying around. Maybe his wife bough those things and that was all he had for a quick Shank snack.

If you are going to criticize, you should be all over that fancy plate and napkin...

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I’ll stan for the low carb tortillas.

Everyone knows they aren’t as good, but when you consider that they usually have like 40% of the calories, it’s a reasonable facsimile. There are few other foods where you can slash calories so drastically with such a minor cost to the final flavor profile.

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Beans in the chili and y'all are focused on the tortilla.

I initially thought I saw a bean there but I’m giving the benefit of the doubt and calling that a lump of meat. He needs to come clean though. I can see using it. I have mistakenly bought a can of wolf brand with beans that someone had sneakily put on the no beans shelf. This would be a resourceful way of not wasting it.
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There’s a lot of greatness in Texan cuisine but the anti beans in chili thing is provincialism at its worst 
We don't come to your state and tell you how tater tot casserole is made, you don't come here and tell us how chili is made.
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We don't come to your state and tell you how tater tot casserole is made, you don't come here and tell us how chili is made.

I mean…I have some tator tot casserole opinions. Most of them are variations of “for fuck’s sake, use some jalapeños in there,” but still.
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9 minutes ago, elfenix said:
5 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:
There’s a lot of greatness in Texan cuisine but the anti beans in chili thing is provincialism at its worst 

We don't come to your state and tell you how tater tot casserole sour cream raisin pie is made, you don't come here and tell us how chili is made.

f'n freaks

 

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If you’ve never had a sour cream raisin pie count yourself lucky. It captures the essence of South Dakota cuisine in one bite. It’s like gasoline and buttermilk mixed in a termite mound. Like one of those Talk African ones.

It pairs well with the Iowa loose meat sandwich which is the blandest food ever made. Water has more spice than that shit.

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I welcome your tator tot hot dish hot takes.

You have to remember how little hubris we have and are very likely to consider an outsider’s input, until someone’s stern Norwegian grandma goes “that’s too spicy; I won’t eat it”.

Edited by Al_4_ISU
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1 hour ago, elfenix said:
6 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:
There’s a lot of greatness in Texan cuisine but the anti beans in chili thing is provincialism at its worst 

We don't come to your state and tell you how tater tot casserole is made, you don't come here and tell us how chili is made.

I’m just saying you’re missing out on some cheap, tasty protein.

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24 minutes ago, Texzilla58 said:

If you’ve never had a sour cream raisin pie count yourself lucky. It captures the essence of South Dakota cuisine in one bite. It’s like gasoline and buttermilk mixed in a termite mound. Like one of those Talk African ones.

It pairs well with the Iowa loose meat sandwich which is the blandest food ever made. Water has more spice than that shit.

I hate loose meats.  Taverns?  Different story.

If anyone thinks I’m bothered by slamming the blandness of traditional Midwestern food, they’re wrong.  I’ve been pushing back on that shit since I was a pre-teen.  You are preaching to my choir.

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6 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I welcome your tator tot hot dish hot takes.

You have to remember how little hubris we have and are very likely to consider an outsider’s input, until someone’s stern Norwegian grandma goes “that’s too spicy; I won’t eat it”.

I've fed Norwegians.  They think onion is a spice, and you best not use too much of it.  Dear god, those nordics can't handle ANY spice.  I mean, literally, ANY spice.  It's pathetic.  And as a result, their food -- both there, and the versions imported to the upper midwest -- is flat-out godawful.  There's only so much you can do with potatoes, heavy cream, cabbage, and unseasoned meat.

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