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Dumbass Shit on Nextdoor

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4 minutes ago, irishtexan said:

Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."

Jesus.

Edited by G650

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On 12/7/2019 at 10:33 PM, AUS-97HORN said:

it really is astonishing to me that so many people lose their shit at the idea of someone ringing their doorbell or knocking on their door.

just 20 years ago that was a normal event. 

If you dont like travelling salesmen, or mormons, or baptists evangelizing on your door.........dont answer the door.

But if you bold enough to dare and walk to that front door and open it, you lost the right to freak out because you think these folks are "canvasing the neighborhood?"

come the fuck on.

 

The Ring Doorbell is the best.  It's like caller ID for the front door.  "Ding Dong"- whip out phone, take a look, blow them off, or tell them to fuck off and you'll start shooting in 20 seconds.

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55 minutes ago, irishtexan said:

Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."

the big lebowski GIF

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4 hours ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

I guess this is the best place to put this.  Need a surly opinion.

  Read a post recently about someone getting pissed because they got an HOA citation because they leave their trash can on th side of their house and apparently there is a rule about trashcans being out of view from the street.  The person claimed it was hidden by an AC unit.  Whatever, but the weird thing to me we multiple people saying putting the trash in their garage was simply NOT an option, because it smells.  Well I've gone all my adult life with my trashcan IN my garage.  It's never really been a problem with smells unless maybe it's the day before trash day and my kids were still in diapers.  

So, am I a Savage for keeping my cans in the garage are are my neighbors just creating stinker than normal trash.  

I’d agree with you back when we had biweekly (or even triweekly) pickup.  But with only once a week pickup when you have kids in diapers and are cooking a lot (especially with raw meats like chicken or seafood) and the temp is over 90 the fucking garage smells like shit after a few days, so yeah mine now resides in the side yard.

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On 12/8/2019 at 1:33 AM, AUS-97HORN said:

it really is astonishing to me that so many people lose their shit at the idea of someone ringing their doorbell or knocking on their door.

just 20 years ago that was a normal event. 

If you dont like travelling salesmen, or mormons, or baptists evangelizing on your door.........dont answer the door.

But if you bold enough to dare and walk to that front door and open it, you lost the right to freak out because you think these folks are "canvasing the neighborhood?"

come the fuck on.

 

Heh, I remember a travelling salesman showing up about 35 years ago.  My dad and I were out in the shop trying to get our old piece of shit JD 2010 tractor running and it wasn't going well.  It was July and about 110 degrees under that tin roof, we were both dripping with sweat and mightily pissed off.  Some asshole pulls up and the dogs go nuts, clamoring about his car.  He rolls his window down just enough that one of the Catahoulas or Yellow Curs can't get their snout in and get at him and yells at us.  The old man comes out, bleeding pretty well from barking a knuckle on the frame of that piece of shit John Deere when a nut finally broke, and in my learned estimation in a highly pissed off mood.  The guy yells are these dogs safe for me to get out?  Pop asks him what do you want, and he says he wants to talk to us about dictionaries or some shit.  Sure, come on out, Pop says.  He pops the door and jumps out, and ol' Buck, the alpha male of our dogs, bites him right in the ass.  He screams and leaps back in the car, yelling I thought you said to come on out.  My old man said, "I did, but I never promised you wouldn't get your ass bit.  Now get the fuck out of here."

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, N Hewitt Dr
e1b46f69b9ecc81203a00282d9788f75.png
Coronavirus

I don’t wanna alarm anyone but the coronavirus will soon spread easily from person to person. The first means of contamination is money. Please handle all money with gloves and place in a Ziploc bag and then put in an envelope, seal the envelope and mail it to me and I will make sure it’s destroyed. I am doing this for the good of public health so please don’t call me a hero, I’m just doing my part in the community! Seriously, you can just send it to me!!

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Heh, I remember a travelling salesman showing up about 35 years ago.  My dad and I were out in the shop trying to get our old piece of shit JD 2010 tractor running and it wasn't going well.  It was July and about 110 degrees under that tin roof, we were both dripping with sweat and mightily pissed off.  Some asshole pulls up and the dogs go nuts, clamoring about his car.  He rolls his window down just enough that one of the Catahoulas or Yellow Curs can't get their snout in and get at him and yells at us.  The old man comes out, bleeding pretty well from barking a knuckle on the frame of that piece of shit John Deere when a nut finally broke, and in my learned estimation in a highly pissed off mood.  The guy yells are these dogs safe for me to get out?  Pop asks him what do you want, and he says he wants to talk to us about dictionaries or some shit.  Sure, come on out, Pop says.  He pops the door and jumps out, and ol' Buck, the alpha male of our dogs, bites him right in the ass.  He screams and leaps back in the car, yelling I thought you said to come on out.  My old man said, "I did, but I never promised you wouldn't get your ass bit.  Now get the fuck out of here."

 

tumblr_ow3f6tNR7d1qf3bujo2_250.gifv

 

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Posted (edited)

Not Neighbor but the FB community watch page..

So the local ministerial alliance put up a cross in the town square like they do every year, no biggie, (this is in Taylor BTW, hi @Armybrat), there's been nativity scenes there before, etc.   This year somebody made a big TOMB to place alongside the cross (by somebody, it looks like the local drama club, not exactly daVinci quality here...).  Well, apparently you need a permit for that and they didn't get one, so bye bye TOMB.  Holy hell, did that bring out the "Christians" (of which I am one, but I'm more the live and let live type).  Gonna overthrow the whole city council, it was all the usual suspects (you know who got blamed, trying to keep this non-CR).  Not so much lulz but it does let me know who the idiots are in my little burg...

 

ETA: pretty amazing to know some stone cutter during the Crucifixion knew what the state of Texas was going to look like someday...

 

88998067_2960180374003538_7178001073108418560_n.jpg

Edited by UTCzech III

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14 hours ago, UTCzech III said:

Gonna overthrow the whole city council

Paging Fitlump. Fitlump to the white courtesy phone.

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OK, this was good today:

Quote
Found on Roof: small pink "toy"

Hi All Today around 4pm, as my husband and I were "staying at home" we heard a unusual rattling noise from the corner of our den by the chimney. After some brief interior investigation, we realized it was coming from outside. After heading into the driveway next to the house, we felt that the noise was coming from the roof, near the chimney. It sounded like perhaps a stuck bird rattling its wings or maybe leftover rain dripping into the gutters. My husband got out the ladder and headed up to investigate. He saw something on the far side of the chimney and asked me to get him something with a handle - I got him a rake. He was able to use the rake to jar it lose and it bounced down the roof to the ground. Much to our surprise, it was a 4inch hot pink vibrator - vibrating away. We have ABSOLUTELY no idea how it could have gotten on our roof, behind our chimney. It's not possible for someone to have thrown it from the street so the only thing we can think, is that it dropped from the sky????? Anywho, if you are missing a hot pink vibrator, maybe don't contact us, but at least you know what happened to it.

with this pic

spacer.png

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One of you religious types remind me which apocalyptic plague begins with a false messiah, a plague, and florescent dildos falling from the sky?  

 

(I like the "we realized it was coming from outside" Part.  I'm picturing one of them scrambling around and the other saying, "The vibrating is coming from inside the house" )

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OK, this was good today:
Found on Roof: small pink "toy"

Hi All Today around 4pm, as my husband and I were "staying at home" we heard a unusual rattling noise from the corner of our den by the chimney. After some brief interior investigation, we realized it was coming from outside. After heading into the driveway next to the house, we felt that the noise was coming from the roof, near the chimney. It sounded like perhaps a stuck bird rattling its wings or maybe leftover rain dripping into the gutters. My husband got out the ladder and headed up to investigate. He saw something on the far side of the chimney and asked me to get him something with a handle - I got him a rake. He was able to use the rake to jar it lose and it bounced down the roof to the ground. Much to our surprise, it was a 4inch hot pink vibrator - vibrating away. We have ABSOLUTELY no idea how it could have gotten on our roof, behind our chimney. It's not possible for someone to have thrown it from the street so the only thing we can think, is that it dropped from the sky????? Anywho, if you are missing a hot pink vibrator, maybe don't contact us, but at least you know what happened to it.

with this pic
28fbc7494ef3ea499f2d8bc12601da1c.jpg.max800.jpg


e940d351d5c01a37defae4e0dfe066f8.jpg

It’s raining dicks.

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On 3/10/2020 at 4:57 PM, UTCzech III said:

Not Neighbor but the FB community watch page..

So the local ministerial alliance put up a cross in the town square like they do every year, no biggie, (this is in Taylor BTW, hi @Armybrat), there's been nativity scenes there before, etc.   This year somebody made a big TOMB to place alongside the cross (by somebody, it looks like the local drama club, not exactly daVinci quality here...).  Well, apparently you need a permit for that and they didn't get one, so bye bye TOMB.  Holy hell, did that bring out the "Christians" (of which I am one, but I'm more the live and let live type).  Gonna overthrow the whole city council, it was all the usual suspects (you know who got blamed, trying to keep this non-CR).  Not so much lulz but it does let me know who the idiots are in my little burg...

 

ETA: pretty amazing to know some stone cutter during the Crucifixion knew what the state of Texas was going to look like someday...

 

88998067_2960180374003538_7178001073108418560_n.jpg

I like how the artist(s) wrote 'Tomb' on the little sign.

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So Jamie Secrest, what we got here is a little game of show n' tell.  You telling me everything, you don't wanna show me nuthin'.  I have zero doubt that your post is a tacit confession that you spent 2-3 minutes watching these people have sex before moving on.  You wanna talk about that part before we start calling random parents?  

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My now wife got busted fucking in the car ata park at night when we were in our 20s.  Windows were all steamed up and my bare ass was pounding away on her, when I hear a “tap tap tap” on the window and a cop is staring in.  Just told us to zip up and move on.

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1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Any teenager that hasn't had sex in their dad's Oldsmobile never really lived.

It was a Buick, Park Avenue to be exact. 

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Well, the Park Avenue and Oldsmobile 88 were basically the same car with just different badging and grills.  

Guess you could all my girlfriends were basically the same build with just different badging and grills.  

Mmmm.   Something for me to think about in the shower. 

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2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Any teenager that hasn't had sex in their dad's Oldsmobile never really lived.

‘71 Cutlass convertible. It was my dad’s weekend car but I drove it when I turned 16 in ‘86. Loved that car. 

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1961 Impala sedan...Chief Drive In Theater on North Lamar. Got some fluids on the new back seat. It wasn’t piss either.

The Monterrey bordellos in 1960 when I was 15 don’t count.

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17 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

1961 Impala sedan..

You were banging teenagers in the 60's? That's not cool for a 45 year old guy but I guess those were different times...

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On 3/23/2020 at 9:52 AM, Lobo said:

Well, the Park Avenue and Oldsmobile 88 were basically the same car with just different badging and grills.  . 

That's a tricky statement, 'cause Buick didn't make a Park Avenue in '55, the Park Avenue didn't come out till '62. And it wasn't offered in the Bel Air with a four-barrel carb till '64. However, in 1964, the correct ignition timing would be four degrees before top-dead-center, and that's dead on balls accurate.

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On 3/23/2020 at 8:50 AM, Sbbruin said:

My now wife got busted fucking in the car ata park at night when we were in our 20s.  Windows were all steamed up and my bare ass was pounding away on her, when I hear a “tap tap tap” on the window and a cop is staring in.  Just told us to zip up and move on.

Ditto.

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5 hours ago, BearSchlong said:
On 3/23/2020 at 10:22 AM, chesthair said:
We were rich.
 
unnamed-9-1576611179338.jpg?1576717739000

I lost my virginity in this exact Model, but in white.

Was he gentle?

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12 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

You got caught pounding his wife in a car?

I was just glad to be in there somewhere.

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6 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Was he gentle?

I would guess no...but apparently he was white, so it did not matter as much.

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We have bottle/can deposits here. 10 cents per. Self return kiosks and returns in general are shut down right now for obvious reasons. Guy started thread about what he's supposed to do with his empties. 

Nothing? Maybe?

He replied to his own thread complaining that he is still being charged the $.10 by the State up front on purchases and suggesting that they should discontinue this.

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Posted (edited)
On 3/21/2020 at 6:17 PM, nnm said:
Nextdoor-clip-21-March20.jpg
This is legit from my Nextdoor feed today.  Katy area.  


I went to high school with Jamie. One in white not Asianfccab52f51017ab3b7f26efcdc4782f3.jpg

Edited by LebongJames

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2 hours ago, LebongJames said:


I went to high school with Jamie. One in white not Asianfccab52f51017ab3b7f26efcdc4782f3.jpg

Jamie looks like she knew her way around the park when she was a teenager. 

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20 minutes ago, nnm said:

Jamie looks like she knew her way around the park when she was a teenager. 

I would have done some horrific things to have been able to do that. Jamie was all woman at 13

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