Jump to content

How much of a cheap bastard are you?


Hellraiser97
 Share

Recommended Posts

we're all lucky to be married to good women.  I had to go out to Trader Joe's this morning to get a few staples.  Brought my wife a $2 chuck wine and a $2 dark chocolate box and she told me it was unnecessary but for the sentiment, I could go into her lingerie drawer tonight and pick out whatever I wanted her to wear.  Cheapest lay I'll probably ever get in my lifetime.  She told me last week---pandemic, record freezes, we're starting a new business---don't spend any money.  And she actually meant it.  She's always been cool at Valentine's Day, but this was especially pragmatic of her. 

I feel bad for some men.  If you're married to a cunt on your anniversary, you married a cunt.  If you're married to a cunt on Valentine's Day, her birthday, and Christmas---you're the Cunt.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Started dating my wife when we were poor students. First Valentine’s Day came relatively early in our relationship....and I took the deep breath and gave her my thoughts: we didn’t have the money to spend on a fancy dinner out and flowers and shit. I’m a good cook, and will make a nice dinner for us, we can spend a nice romantic evening in, but truly, I hate the holiday and the ridiculous expectations that it imposes. She she sighed and said “thank God, I think it’s all absurd”....I started to think huh....maybe you oughta get serious about this one.

Today, we’ll do our long-standing tradition: a heart shaped pizza from mangia, some fresh cookies, and a warm evening in.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

we're all lucky to be married to good women.  I had to go out to Trader Joe's this morning to get a few staples.  Brought my wife a $2 chuck wine and a $2 dark chocolate box and she told me it was unnecessary but for the sentiment, I could go into her lingerie drawer tonight and pick out whatever I wanted her to wear.  Cheapest lay I'll probably ever get in my lifetime.  She told me last week---pandemic, record freezes, we're starting a new business---don't spend any money.  And she actually meant it.  She's always been cool at Valentine's Day, but this was especially pragmatic of her. 

I feel bad for some men.  If you're married to a cunt on your anniversary, you married a cunt.  If you're married to a cunt on Valentine's Day, her birthday, and Christmas---you're the Cunt.  

If you marry a woman fucks and can make gravy you'll be a happy man.  If she can't do either, you'll become a philosopher. 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mrs Fairway broke the rules today and gave me an actual valentines card; one of those 3-D cards that pop up when you open them. That fucking thing must almost $10, but it was nice.  But y'all will be proud of me, I said thanks and then later texted her another photo of a card - one I saw last week when I was in the store.

Pro move here.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

43 minutes ago, chikin23 said:
2 hours ago, Cement said:
In my younger days I would break up with girlfriends sometime in early February and then get back together a few weeks later.

Rookie move. Better to break up after Thanksgiving and get back together before spring break.

You mean after spring break, right?

tenor.gif?itemid=5092944

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/7/2018 at 1:55 PM, Mez2 said:

i'm so cheap, i had my fractured fingers x-rayed at my wife's vet clinic and then took a photo of that file and used for my doctors visit because i didnt want to go to pay for an xray. 

i work at a hospital. 

I wasn't going to participate in this b/c I'm not a tightwad.  But my dad was.

When I was 7 a friend of mine and I were jacking around w/ his dad's golf clubs.  I stood too close behind him while he was swinging a 3 club....clocked me right in the chin; blood fountain.  My mom freaked out and called my dad (a veterinarian) to tell him she was taking me to ER.  Dad asked what happened, mom told him; he told her to bring me to his vet clinic.  There he proceeded to put 6 stiches in my chin with nothing but a tongue depressor between my teeth for pain mitigation.  I didn't dare cry but remember that experience clearly to this day. 

I don't think my mom spoke to him for a month. 

  • Hook 'Em 4
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

I wasn't going to participate in this b/c I'm not a tightwad.  But my dad was.

When I was 7 a friend of mine and I were jacking around w/ his dad's golf clubs.  I stood too close behind him while he was swinging a 3 club....clocked me right in the chin; blood fountain.  My mom freaked out and called my dad (a veterinarian) to tell him she was taking me to ER.  Dad asked what happened, mom told him; he told her to bring me to his vet clinic.  There he proceeded to put 6 stiches in my chin with nothing but a tongue depressor between my teeth for pain mitigation.  I didn't dare cry but remember that experience clearly to this day. 

I don't think my mom spoke to him for a month. 

Reminds me of the Trailer Bark Boys having Sam Losco dig bullets out of Ricky's ass.

And mad respect to your old man.

Edited by Al_4_ISU
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My old man was a notorious cheap ass for years.  One of my favorite stunts was rather than buy a trailer to haul to a little skidloader around to various hog barns, he cut off the top of my grandparents' old station wagon, welded up a pair of ramps, and hauled the skidloader around in what was basically a homemade white-trash El Camino.

  • Like 2
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

My old man was a notorious cheap ass for years.  One of my favorite stunts was rather than buy a trailer to haul to a little skidloader around to various hog barns, he cut off the top of my grandparents' old station wagon, welded up a pair of ramps, and hauled the skidloader around in what was basically a homemade white-trash El Camino.

But it worked, correct?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Scooter Monzingo said:

But it worked, correct?

Oh yeah.  His cheap stunts usually proved effective for awhile.  

The hitch in that operation was the skidloader itself.  One of those tiny ones that could fit into old barns.  Was just a total piece of shit.  After having the motor rebuilt once, he moved on from it, and the next skid was too big for the hatchet job station wagon, and it ended up getting scrapped.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 2/14/2021 at 11:00 AM, Wally Fairway said:

Mrs Fairway broke the rules today and gave me an actual valentines card; one of those 3-D cards that pop up when you open them. That fucking thing must almost $10, but it was nice.  But y'all will be proud of me, I said thanks and then later texted her another photo of a card - one I saw last week when I was in the store.

You magnificent bastard.  You're my lard and savory.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My old man was a notorious cheap ass for years.  One of my favorite stunts was rather than buy a trailer to haul to a little skidloader around to various hog barns, he cut off the top of my grandparents' old station wagon, welded up a pair of ramps, and hauled the skidloader around in what was basically a homemade white-trash El Camino.

Pics please
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, chikin23 said:

"Don't touch the thermostat" has taken on a new meaning for Texas dads everywhere this week.

My wife is great about this. She doesn’t touch it ever and asks me to adjust it if shes hot or cold. Most times I don’t even adjust it and say that I did. Time passes and she doesn’t bring it back up. I think she’s catching on though after a dozen years as she’s called me out on it. While this is going on I’ll adjust the temp via my phone app and then tell her to go check the thermostat.  Now lights and open/cracked exterior doors, that’s a different story. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My brother has two vintage Mercedes Benz and a Jeep Wrangler in his 4 car garage - all in mint condition with very low miles, but 99% of the time he chooses to drive our late father’s 1997 Saturn with 365,000 miles on it. 
He is a retired accountant.

Edited by Armybrat
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My brother has two vintage Mercedes Benz and a Jeep Wrangler in his 4 car garage - all in mint condition with very low miles, but 99% of the time he chooses to drive our late father’s 1997 Saturn with 365,000 miles on it. 
He is a retired accountant.


Wouldn’t your father have been 173 in 1997?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...