Jump to content

Leaderboard

  1. closetojumping

    closetojumping

    Burnt Ends


    • Points

      172

    • Posts

      15013


  2. Machinator

    Machinator

    Certifiably Surly


    • Points

      128

    • Posts

      44358


  3. Hugo Stiglitz

    Hugo Stiglitz

    Legacy Members


    • Points

      99

    • Posts

      34291


  4. Js1

    Js1

    Certifiably Surly


    • Points

      79

    • Posts

      73825


Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 01/13/21 in Posts

  1. I have a few buddies that work at/live with people who work at Bama. When Sarkisian was announced, I spoke to them for more data on some of the assistants rumored to be coming to Texas with him. One of them is Banks, the TE coach and ST coordinator. They said the dude's the balls on the coaching and recruiting end and otherwise a complete mess with an appetite for personal calamity. He moved to Bama from College Station in the middle of a divorce and left a bunch of kids behind. Within weeks, a stripper showed up and moved in, with kids of her own, and a fucking pet monkey. While living with him, she's continued to work in and around Birmingham and Tuscaloosa as a stripper+. Her insta handle is poleassassin_, which I posted and Surly of course verified, and we've been off and running ever since. If the dude somehow winds up coming here, I'll get more of the stories about this guy and his circus, because apparently they're nuts and a source of entertainment inside the Bama regime. That's all no bullshit. Another thing that you guys will probably find absurd/amusing and ties in to another favorite Surly sideshow: While this fucknut was at ATM, he drunk texted, allegedly including personal nudes, to 6Figs on accident instead of to one of the women he was fucking with a similar first name. Ol'6figgy allegedly tried to hang that over this dude's head for recruiting access/info at one point, to no avail. He'd already apparently entered his own personal tumbledown with his wife and no fucks were given about what some recruiting dipshit might post or say about him, and apparently the dude's quite confident in the dick pics he sent being up to public snuff. Allegedly. That isn't from Bama folks. hahahahahahahaha
    39 points
  2. 24 points
  3. I swear to God I'll pistol whip the next guy that says three man front.
    24 points
  4. SIAP https://twitter.com/MikeDrucker/status/1349431707003473927?s=20
    22 points
  5. We know and don't care. It's a tradition that has unified Longhorns for generations. The manufactured outrage over a specious connection to racism has created an unnecessary issue that has melted a few snowflakes. Time to cast them aside and move forward.
    22 points
  6. Though I realize that tedious and banal self-amusement is a major part of what we do here, I'll cast my one meaningless vote for not making tired and unfunny Sark drinking jokes a thing.
    22 points
  7. Please please please let Bama hire Hand. The Brock melt down will be amaaaaazing
    20 points
  8. Yep. They’re full of shit. This is the party that came up with the slogan, “Fuck your feelings.” Fuck them. The truth is they don’t want unity, they just don’t want to be held accountable. The Dems could do everything to appease them, forget every vile, corrupt, criminal, and treasonous thing they’ve done over the past four years, and “move on” like none of it ever happened. They would still demonize the Democrats and call them Communists and radical leftists and pedophile cannibals possessed by demons. They’re going to take your guns and turn your kids gay and enforce Sharia law. Don’t believe a word they say. Hey Republicans, do you really want unity? If so, start by doing this: Admit the Clintons never killed anyone Admit the Clintons aren’t part of a pedophile sex ring Admit you really don’t care about Hillary’s emails Admit that Barack Obama was born in Hawaii Admit that Obama wasn’t a Muslim terrorist out to destroy America Admit there were no “Death Panels” Admit the Russia investigation was perfectly justified Admit you really don’t care about Hunter Biden We could probably come up with a lot more to add to that list. (How about, “Admit that God doesn’t favor one political party over another?”) The point is the rank hypocrisy of the GOP. Don’t fall for their latest con. Because that’s exactly what it is and it’s plain as day.
    20 points
  9. Burton deserves respect, irrespective of whether anyone likes him. He is a pioneer in the $9.95 world, has mentored many in that space, conducts himself as a professional and has made himself millions of dollars more than once doing what he loves. I’ve dealt with him and consider him a solid professional. He has great sources. Was he Mack’s shill? Yeah, they were buddies. I can’t defend that. I know he loves UT though. Fun fact, he’s significantly older than me but we basically grew up in the same neighborhood. Ketchum is a piece of shit. Few people with less talent have had more success due to basically being the only person around at just the right time. He’s a poor man’s sports version of Ringo Starr or something, only I don’t think Ringo Starr is fundamentally corrupt. Gerry learned the right habits under Burton and his personality and brains have taken him to fun career places. Howe learned the right habits under Gerry and Burton but doesn’t have their talent or Gerry’s eye for evaluating. Nahlin has solid connections but just being a good recruiting and program reporter will never be enough and he can’t get out of his own way with his bullshit and bad habits. Chip Brown is, allegedly, a degenerate with habits and behaviors so egregious that they’ve led to him compromising the interests of the program for personal gain, or to keep the Russian mob from removing his knee caps. Crystal Conte having a relationship with FCB is a sign that Crystal still has a bunch of shit to learn. It’s fucking idiotic and a BMD or someone should have a fucking word with him. While Mike Roach and EJ Holland apparently think they had dinner with me, I’ve never met Roach. He does good hustle work and he’s affable, real affable. However, he’s clueless on the way all this works and how to handle risk with predictions. Anyone working for Ketchum is a schmuck and the CFB equivalent of a smut peddler at best and pimped-out whore at worst. Don’t know the rest of the IT guys but they seem alright, outside of Ian Boyd’s insipid and inane ramblings about various niche defensive calls made by Air Force or South Alabama or whatever draws his attention for the next 6,000 words spewed onto the screen with his name on it. TFB seems okay when they stay in their lane. To be clear, the $9.95ers do not think the Wiggins info is correct. Bama mods are not only not confirming it, but calling it bullshit. Hell, maybe he’s leaving Bama and not coming here. It should be fun to watch, as we’ve got ourselves a good old-fashioned source-off. I can’t wait to get trolled if my friend is wrong, but it’s hard for me to doubt even knowing the other data points.
    20 points
  10. I have a better idea. Instead of having Burt or Fud moderate, why don't we start a 3 man front thread and then every mouth-breathing dipshit who shows up arguing stupid, ignorant shit and demonstrating a toddler's understanding of football, we just move the whole thread and lock them in the Purgatory forum with TTomTerrific and any other misfit toy that breathes exclusively through their mouths and eats paste. Because you can't fix stupid, but you might able to trap it in a cage and then set it on fire.
    19 points
  11. Get the fuck out of here with that shit. Is she trashy? Hell, yes. Is she a woman of low moral fiber? Clearly. Is she nuttier than a shithouse rat? No doubt. She's also hot in her own way. What's not to like if you're heterosexual? Are you the dude that goes to the strip club and then looks down your nose at every woman that comes by the table? Those guys do nothing but fuck up everyone else's time and irritate their friends. I've met plenty of you fuckers from the Internet over the last 20+ years. The bullshit many of you throw out there pertaining to what you would and wouldn't hit is outright absurd.
    18 points
  12. Yeah. EJ Holland wrote about it, which is part of what made it even more absurd, but yeah, it sounded ... like quite the occasion. I can’t remember all the details and haven’t spoken to SLX in years. It seems like the premise was he invited them to dinner - he is a connector type and that’s not unusual if he’s interested in understanding something. He gave them a choice to eat wherever they’d like and he’d buy. Roach and Holland pushed for Appleby’s while SLX was thinking a steakhouse or sushi. They show up and Roach starts ordering food immediately. Holland starts talking. That continued to be the theme. Roach ran through every appetizer on the menu, some sort of steak with cheese on top and a dessert while guzzling a coke of some sort. Holland, meanwhile, proceeds to lament the utter lack of knowledge about the game of football among the UT fanbase. He drinks like 4 shakes and never stops talking about himself, clothes, or his career aspirations as a serious novelist. He couldn’t remember SLX’s real name at the end of the meal when they depart. SLX tells @SydneyCarton, the “Greg Davis on 3rd and 5” graphic guy, and me about the experience and it sounded predictable yet surreal. He was left with a dim but favorable view of Roach and considered EJ Holland a useless dipshit that knew almost as little as he cared in regard to the sport or UT. I despise Holland and used to run him over on 247 and he’d go cry to Burton and then appeal to sycophants on that board who would then bitch at me for being a meanie. I thought the guy was trash and too far in the bag for the trainers and their agendas, so I never let up. In one breakdown of one of his idiotic positions, he froze my posting ability while he proceeded to rebut me and let cronies defend him as well, without addressing any facts or merit, for like an hour. So I unsubscribed and moved on. Months later he wrote his write-up of meeting me and describing me as some other worldly weirdo, I started getting texts in mockery from my asshole friends who knew the deal while I was overseas, and then the premise became a running joke on Shaggy. Shortly thereafter, EJ ran off to cover Notre Dame, immediately ran over the Texas fanbase, and hasn’t been seen since as far as I know.
    18 points
  13. Thank you everyone for the well wishes. I appreciate all you assholes. Story is that she had not been holding anything down for a few days. Went to urgent and they said it was covid. That was weird because she got over it in late November/early December. Went home. What she didn't disclose to anyone was the abdominal pain until it was too much to bear and tried to get her into gyno in which they advised to get to ER. ER figured it out and advised to get to Presbyterian H ICU in Albuquerque. She was also in quite the brain fog which didn't help. Supposedly she is more alert now and will be staying a few days Once again, thanks for the kind words. We getting tosh and Pruitt now?
    17 points
  14. csb involving Jenna... It was December, 2016, a month after the presidential election. I was at the Yard House (beer bar) in Addison with two of my friends. We were part of a group of guys who worked together from 2005 - 2010ish and we still try to go on a kayak trip once a year and meet in December for a holiday celebration to catch up. The Yard House has a big, rectangular bar in the middle of the establishment and customers can sit on all four sides of it. The three of us friend were sitting together on the longer, western side towards the SW corner and in walks Jenna. She sits in the middle of the south side of the bar. She immediately makes her presence known, chatting us up, pimping her real estate services and self-help website. She said she just got out of a first date with someone (poor bastard) and didn't eat dinner. She was on a dinner date. So she orders some food and another drink. She was cute back then, but her in-the-face demeanor immediately sent out warning signals. She soon starts talking about Trump and singing his praises. My friends and I did not vote for Trump (if you would have told me in 2015 I'd vote for Hillary I would have called you a got damned liar). She then goes on about how if you are a democrat or voted against Trump, then you were not a true American. Okay, that did it. I took exception to her statement and it seemed to surprise her. I'm white and over 50 so I guess she thought I looked the Trumper part. One of my friend is black and the other was Arabic. All three of us start debating her and ask her questions about the border wall and then baited her into giving her opinion on Muslims. My Arabic friend is Muslim as you might imagine, and her opinions of keeping his folks out of the country didn't sit well with him. She thought he was "Mexican" until he told her otherwise. Well things deescalated very quickly. She ended up getting her food order to-go and stormed out of the establishment. The three of us just looked at each other saying "WTF just happened?" The bartender snickered at us. We just laughed and texted the rest of our group who didn't make it out that night about the attractive crackpot we encountered. I perused her self-help website/YouTube videos later that evening. Wasn't surprised to see her in the news...
    17 points
  15. "I'm not a terrorist, I just wanted to terrify lawmakers by doing terrifying things that terrified them. It felt terrific!"
    17 points
  16. That’s your takeaway from that episode? His lack of ice cream knowledge? How about the fact that EJ thought Moore was a poor evaluation by the staff and a bad football prospect?
    17 points
  17. Here we go again. When we all meet up before the Louisiana game for the Surly Sprint-off, bring your measuring tape, salon shears and your significant other. After you dust me in the forty, I'll let you cut my man bun off, and then take a photo of you standing tall over my tiny frame with my hideous woman and your smoking hot lady friend, and you can post the photo on Surly and have me mocked forever. "That GRHorn," they'll say, "he's an American bad ass." "Yeah, and who knew that closetojumping was Danny Devito in real life? Didn't see that one coming."
    16 points
  18. Great news on Davis. I have been sweating that one a bit
    16 points
  19. I am genuinely willing to pass on Arnett even if he is the best candidate just to prevent Evans from getting paid.
    16 points
  20. Ha. Funny story- Elko’s kids play select baseball with my nephews up in college station. My brother is an aggy. My dad is up there watching a game and corners Elko and is trying to chat him up (for whatever reason I don’t know- but I’m hearing the story and then I’m cringing about my dad). I think it was something along the lines of asking him if he was taking a head job somewhere else and getting the fuck out of college station or if he was gonna stick around there. And then I think he asked about a recruit we were both in on like- hey where such and such going- all while the poor bastard was trying to watch his kid play baseball. I think then dad proceeded to ask how much money he was getting paid in Hien next raise or something totally gauche like that. Just about the time I was starting to feel sorry for poor Elko, having my dad go full on social retard on him, he started telling me about Elko’s part of the conversation and mannerisms and actions during the game and my response was fuck that guy- those two morons (dad and elko) deserved to spend 2 hours together watching 11 year old baseball and generally making asses of themselves. now that I typed that whole story out I realize it’s probably way funnier to me than to anyone else, in a you have to know the characters kind of way I guess- but deleting this all on my cell phone would be too many keystrokes.
    16 points
  21. Fucking Monkey Pole Assassins might be a cool name for a band. Normally, I wouldn't type this, but as its my birthday, I feel privileged not to have been fucking crowd sourced off this board. I think it is fabulous. Enjoying the hell out of it. Not to mention we have better scoop and obviously more fun than the other boards. IMO. At least I am having fun. Which is all that really matters. Lol.
    15 points
  22. This is the oldest thing I've ever read on this website.
    15 points
  23. Bullshit, he can eat shit and die. Everything he’s calling for now is the complete opposite of everything he’s done and said over the last 4+ years and especially since the election. All he had to do was be a grown up and accept that he lost the election. He didn’t, he convinced his followers that literally everyone who accepted the election was an enemy, and now that they acted on it and he was impeached, he says no violence and come together for USA. Fuck him forever. I hope he dies painfully and slowly while seeing how his legacy will be as a deplorable traitor to the country and the worst president in history. Fuck him, seriously, there was nothing presidential about that at all, it was literally another lie because we know goddamned well he doesn’t believe a word he read. Seeing him pretend to be normal after all that happened is more infuriating to me than his grade school insult tweets. It’s just fodder for republicans to say “see he’s presidential why the witch hunt!!!!” Fuck him, and may he diaf.
    14 points
  24. My GF went to FSU. I took her to the FSU NC game at the Rose Bowl. She had a ton of friends that came out, so we went hit several tailgates. At one of them, it came up that I'm a Texas fan. A guy started talking to me about Mack...Dude is a lawyer in Tampa. Said that they were frat bros, and remain good friends, and still speak a few times a year. He lowers his voice and says something like "I'm sure that you think he's a great recruiter, but Mack recruiting pussy for himself back then puts Mack recruiting football players to shame".
    14 points
  25. Haven’t been able to follow this thread as much as I would like this morning. Really appreciate all the intel being posted as well as information from other sites. Just working but today is my birthday. Lulz. Born on the 13th, ha! I was really impressed with Sarks PC yesterday even though it was an intro. I am excited about this season of football. Glad to see all the deliberation going into the hiring of the DC. Thanks for all the information! H
    14 points
  26. Is there anything more EJ than spending $350 on a fucking white T-shirt but then picking Applebee’s for a dinner meeting.
    14 points
  27. hey, @immamac, can we get a 168 hour countdown at the top of the CR, starting at noon today, to run out the clock on this fucktard?
    14 points
  28. Fuck you for posting that and fuck any of you that quote it.
    13 points
  29. Stoops can think he’s in the mix all he wants. He just better not be in the mix.
    13 points
  30. All those keystrokes and you're not gonna tell us what Elko said or did?
    12 points
This leaderboard is set to Chicago/GMT-05:00


×
×
  • Create New...