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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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crimsonlonghorn

crimsonlonghorn 2299

Posted
Posted
On 5/16/2019 at 4:42 PM, BHMCruiser said:

What did they do with the China one? Return to sender, or drop off at a farm?

Still have her. LOL

The only ones the Chinese ever let go are girls with health problems. This particular little girl was born with a heart defect and was so stunted she needed a feeding tube when they first got her back to the states. Then literally just this week had to have open heart valve surgery.

Sweet little girl. She has my friend wrapped around her finger. 

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Fudge Nuggets

Fudge Nuggets 18825

Posted
Posted
On 5/18/2019 at 7:42 PM, crimsonlonghorn said:

Still have her. LOL

The only ones the Chinese ever let go are girls with health problems. This particular little girl was born with a heart defect and was so stunted she needed a feeding tube when they first got her back to the states. Then literally just this week had to have open heart valve surgery.

Sweet little girl. She has my friend wrapped around her finger. 

I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.

Someone oughta sell tickets.

Sure, I'd buy one.

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CycleTex87

CycleTex87 2944

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.

Someone oughta sell tickets.

Sure, I'd buy one.

all right, gotta gimme a hint.  I know it, just outside my memory right now.

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Modessit

Modessit 5582

Posted
Posted

Her: I bought some earrings! Want to see?

Me: You don't wear earrings hardly ever. (She has a hearing disability and doesn't like to call attention to her hearing aids )

Her: I know.

Me: Then why did you buy them?

Her: Because they're just like the ones Joanna Gaines wore in that one episode. Another teacher at school makes them. (Etsy)

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Modessit

Modessit 5582

Posted
Posted

I think so. Mine isn't deaf, but can't hear upper register (microwave beep, for example) or sometimes has issues understanding if there is a lot of background noise or if she's eating. Unless she has her hearing aids in.

 

And I think he was saying shit like "take it, bitch" while fucking her from behind and she saw him in the mirror and she read his lips.

 

 

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retread

retread 2951

Posted
Posted (edited)
21 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Someone on here has a story about shit-talking their deaf wife with their back to the wife, forgetting about a mirror somewhere and her lip-reading ability. The story was pretty funny. Homesick, maybe...??

I think it was hullabelew.

Edited by retread
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William_Cannon

William_Cannon 86

Posted
Posted

Mrs. Cannon goes away for the weekend for a ladies retreat. I stay home with the 4 kids. On Saturday morning half of us go grocery shopping, the other half clean house. Saturday afternoon we host a board game play date and have kids’ friends over for dinner. Saturday night, the kids and I have a movie night and my brothers-in-law comes over crashes on the couch - he needs help with his car and showed up a day early. Sunday morning I do all the work on his car (swapping out parts of his tiny crammed as fuck Japanese contortionist-designed intake) because it’s clear he is in over his head. I thought it was a great weekend - we took care of business, the kids helped out and got along, we did fun things together, I helped my BIL with his car. We ate healthy and made badass salads through out the weekend.

Wife comes home, immediately starts complaining about random shit and goes into OCD floor cleaning mode. WTF.

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Grade of D as in David

Grade of D as in David 13253

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Modessit said:

I think so. Mine isn't deaf, but can't hear upper register (microwave beep, for example) or sometimes has issues understanding if there is a lot of background noise or if she's eating. Unless she has her hearing aids in.

 

And I think he was saying shit like "take it, bitch" while fucking her from behind and she saw him in the mirror and she read his lips.

 

 

Tell her to take smaller bites and chew with her mouth closed.

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17263

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, William_Cannon said:

Mrs. Cannon goes away for the weekend for a ladies retreat. I stay home with the 4 kids. On Saturday morning half of us go grocery shopping, the other half clean house. Saturday afternoon we host a board game play date and have kids’ friends over for dinner. Saturday night, the kids and I have a movie night and my brothers-in-law comes over crashes on the couch - he needs help with his car and showed up a day early. Sunday morning I do all the work on his car (swapping out parts of his tiny crammed as fuck Japanese contortionist-designed intake) because it’s clear he is in over his head. I thought it was a great weekend - we took care of business, the kids helped out and got along, we did fun things together, I helped my BIL with his car. We ate healthy and made badass salads through out the weekend.

Wife comes home, immediately starts complaining about random shit and goes into OCD floor cleaning mode. WTF.

Who got cut in half to do the grocery store/house cleaning split?

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ztejas

ztejas 42744

Posted
Posted
19 hours ago, William_Cannon said:

Mrs. Cannon goes away for the weekend for a ladies retreat. I stay home with the 4 kids. On Saturday morning half of us go grocery shopping, the other half clean house. Saturday afternoon we host a board game play date and have kids’ friends over for dinner. Saturday night, the kids and I have a movie night and my brothers-in-law comes over crashes on the couch - he needs help with his car and showed up a day early. Sunday morning I do all the work on his car (swapping out parts of his tiny crammed as fuck Japanese contortionist-designed intake) because it’s clear he is in over his head. I thought it was a great weekend - we took care of business, the kids helped out and got along, we did fun things together, I helped my BIL with his car. We ate healthy and made badass salads through out the weekend.

Wife comes home, immediately starts complaining about random shit and goes into OCD floor cleaning mode. WTF.

You sound like a good dad.

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18544

Posted
Posted
33 minutes ago, EE2B said:

Anyone care to guess how much 2 dozen of these cost for a class of kindergartners?

73567fbe67bc99dfb5aa43830296d060.jpg

If you guessed $75, you would be correct.

Ah yes the custom decorated $3 each gourmet cookie...I feel your pain.  Never underestimate a woman's innate propensity to spend 3x or more than what would do perfectly fine

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ABSR

ABSR 5266

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, EE2B said:


Flip flops is correct. I didn’t pay for them, read the thread title.

Well, flip flops are shoes so two dozen should be 24 pairs or 48 total, right?  So just over $1.56 each individual one, right?  Surely she didn’t pay over $3 per cookie.  😂

And if you are married to her, I am sure you paid for them whether you gave the bakery your money directly or indirectly.

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EE2B

EE2B 1560

Posted
Posted
Well, flip flops are shoes so two dozen should be 24 pairs or 48 total, right?  So just over $1.56 each individual one, right?  Surely she didn’t pay over $3 per cookie.  
And if you are married to her, I am sure you paid for them whether you gave the bakery your money directly or indirectly.

Negative. We either have 24 flips or 24 flops, no pairs unless you have two right feet. When she called the bakery, they told her they could do them, but they would cost cupcake prices. The $3/per is pretty damn close.
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