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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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5 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

This is my pile. There are many like it around the house, but this one is mine.

My piles are my best friends. They house cards that are years old, expired coupons, receipts for returns that will never be returned, unopened mail and much more.

This pile is special because if he Christmas plate it sits on that never goes away after Christmas.
476992d9c5698f6e1fa063e6dc147fca.jpg
2aa32caa656d7b38c9079dc21b11edc8.jpg

Looks as if you get to leave the xmas light up year-round.

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1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

coming from the person who runs 2.00 mi max, 2 times a week. 

who doesnt want to run on consecutive days because "i read you need a recovery day". 

who doesnt want to do wind-sprints or HIIT exercises because "i dont want to have overly muscular legs"

who is convinced shes disadvantaged at running compared to others because "my legs are short"

who also thinks thailand - from 2 days exposure in bangkok - is too dirty, too smelly, too 3rd-world....

....

just messaged me and said "i want to go to kenya to do the kenyan running camp"

 

giphy.gif

 

She’s having sex with her Kenyan running coach. 

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11 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

wanna be really entertained?  Ask pretty much any woman under 35 how the address of the very spot they're currently standing was originated.

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  Reveal hidden contents

Most common answer given:  Because GPS says so

 

I'm mid 30s male with a geography degree and don't even know wtf you're trying to ask 

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This should probably be filed under "Women are horrible at telling stories/leaving messages/etc"

My wife is going on a road trip to New England to see friends, relatives and general sight seeing.  One glorious month of solitude for Hulla.  "Where is the downside" you ask?  Great question.

She is calling all of her credit card companies to let them know she is going to be travelling and so they don't flag the cards for fraud.   I have heard her have 4 different conversations with the credit card people.  Now, keep in mind that she is deaf and uses a captioning phone...she can speak fine, but has to wait on the captioning to catch up so she can answer questions.  

She has a road map out and is listing all of the states she may or may not drive through or visit.  i have heard, "well, I'm going to Boston to stay with my cousins", "I may go to Canada so I can see the Niagara Falls", I'm not going to New York City because I've already been there several times", "I may go to Canada..like Toronto...it that it?".   Four times, I've heard the same excruciating conversation, including how she "may or may not drive on I95 because it is closed due to the hurricane."    I'm not sure why she keeps listing Florida because when you leave Atlanta, GA headed for New England....I'm not how one would actually include Florida in your travel itinerary....but what do I know.  Oh, she also have two separate phone numbers for her cell phone since one of them handles a captioned call.  That also requires a lot of explanation.  Oh....we live on Moon Place.   "you know...like the sun and the moon."  

Oh, they just upped her credit limit..."that is nice...in case my car breaks down because I'm driving on this trip."  

I'm going to have a glorious month of no adult supervision......  Or as my buddy calls it, "Running with Scissors"  

 

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Oh, I forgot to mention that I got a frantic phone call yesterday that her debit card was being used in California with a charge of $211.  "I DIDN'T MAKE THAT PURCHASE."  Well, apparently the last time she bought printer ink at Office Depot, she let them sell her some kind of program where they automatically charge you and send you ink on a 'regular basis'.  Guess what she didn't remember?       So, our credit union cancelled her debit card, are sending her another one (that won't get here until after she leaves), and have opened a dispute with Office Depot for something she fucking set up.  When she initially told me about the "Ink Program", I told her to cancel it.  We will buy ink on an as-needed basis.  Guess what she didn't do.  

But, she leaves tomorrow......did I mention that?  For one glorious month.  

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1 hour ago, Ten Bears said:

Party at Hulla's!

Should guys bring their wives?

36 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Do any of yall get so sick of your wives shit that you wouldnt even care of she was banging other dudes? If so, is she hot, and post pics so we can decide if you made the correct choice.

This sounds like a different thread.  Maybe it belongs on another board.

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For one, I compliment her for using voice to text because she's obviously driving

Potentially hundred-long groups (blocks) of numbers that are assigned which encode the distance from a baseline (also known as base point) which is typically in the heart of a geographically large municipality such as a city. The base point is occasionally applied to a conurbation of cities. C'mon McFly, ask your husband when you get home.

3 hours ago, bluto said:

I'm mid 30s male with a geography degree and don't even know wtf you're trying to ask 

Edited by mulletpelini
Age checks out.
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7 minutes ago, Nolacycling said:

English dept. meeting w/your wives tomorrow am and I'm already dreading it. Talk all day about breakfast casseroles and pumpkin flavored this and that's. I'm the only male. I'll bring donuts. We will get nothing done.

Take plenty of pics, post to hot/not, get fake internet points.

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1 hour ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

I regularly get snaps like this and my wife doesn't understand how I don't understand what she is trying to say...

HlKMnCXz_o.jpg

If I understand correctly, Amelia and your wife are taking turns eating fruit from each others cooch.  You should text her back and ask her to video Amelia eating fruit from her cooch.

Edited by NeverMarryAStripper
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2 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

I regularly get snaps like this and my wife doesn't understand how I don't understand what she is trying to say...

HlKMnCXz_o.jpg

Amelia grew all of that in her garden, and now is thick (presumably now only in the right places) and has a good good butt

Also, pics of Amelia

Edited by uoftorange
FU, you didn't say up front Amelia was 2
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4 hours ago, hullabelew said:

This should probably be filed under "Women are horrible at telling stories/leaving messages/etc"

My wife is going on a road trip to New England to see friends, relatives and general sight seeing.  One glorious month of solitude for Hulla.  "Where is the downside" you ask?  Great question.

She is calling all of her credit card companies to let them know she is going to be travelling and so they don't flag the cards for fraud.   I have heard her have 4 different conversations with the credit card people.  Now, keep in mind that she is deaf and uses a captioning phone...she can speak fine, but has to wait on the captioning to catch up so she can answer questions.  

She has a road map out and is listing all of the states she may or may not drive through or visit.  i have heard, "well, I'm going to Boston to stay with my cousins", "I may go to Canada so I can see the Niagara Falls", I'm not going to New York City because I've already been there several times", "I may go to Canada..like Toronto...it that it?".   Four times, I've heard the same excruciating conversation, including how she "may or may not drive on I95 because it is closed due to the hurricane."    I'm not sure why she keeps listing Florida because when you leave Atlanta, GA headed for New England....I'm not how one would actually include Florida in your travel itinerary....but what do I know.  Oh, she also have two separate phone numbers for her cell phone since one of them handles a captioned call.  That also requires a lot of explanation.  Oh....we live on Moon Place.   "you know...like the sun and the moon."  

Oh, they just upped her credit limit..."that is nice...in case my car breaks down because I'm driving on this trip."  

I'm going to have a glorious month of no adult supervision......  Or as my buddy calls it, "Running with Scissors"  

 

Hey, look at the bright side- if she's telling the operator all of that shit then she's not telling you.

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This is actually kinda awesome in some ways but belongs here.  This weekend wife was out running errands and decided to stop and pick up fried chicken to bring home for dinner.  She called and asked me if I wanted livers or gizzards and I said "get the 8 piece liver with gravy and a roll".  The drive thru guy asked her to clarify if she wanted the livers or gizzards and she proceeded to reply "I want the 8-piece lizard meal".  The drive through guy almost lost it.

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