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We are almost 60 days out from due date.....nerves are starting to build for me and the wife. She's starting to get scared about delivery and that process. Any tips on how to calm her down about that? Apparently just go with the flow and breathe isn't the right thing to say. haha
Unless your wife has a history of running marathons on a broken leg, tell her to get the epidural early. My wife - who has a low pain tolerance - decided she wanted to wait and see if she could handle it with the first kid (water broke but contractions hadn't started yet, kid came 6 days early). It was rough holding her still when contractions were hitting so they could get it in. On the second kid, she told them to send the epidural guy in as soon as we got to the room (scheduled inducement, kid was 6 days late).

And a thing new dads can forget - while your wife will have a bag packed for her and the baby, make sure to have one for you too. I was in the hospital with wife and baby for 2 days wearing the same clothes because I didn't think to bring anything besides a phone charger.
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5 hours ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

First big college camp was last weekend and it started out great.  My daughter played amazing the first day and was excelling in most drills and giving it her absolute all.  It was a really long day (6 hours playing, 1 hour tour, 1 hour lunch break) and the high was 95*.  Day two started out well she was playing well and then her body just gave up on her.  She gave it everything she had, and you could see she was struggling physically but she didn't quit.  She left broken hearted, thinking that was it, her opportunity at that school was over.  As a parent, I know it may be, but I have to hope it's not.  It's hard to see your kids give it their all, put everything they have into something, and possibly come up short.  I know it's a part of life, and a life lesson, but as a parent you just want to watch your kids succeed in everything.

One promising piece, I asked her after the camp how she felt.  She said, this only made her want it more.  So I'll continue to support her, flying her across the country helping her chase her dreams.  I just pray the coaches see how much she wants it and she finds a place she loves and a place where she can be happy and successful.

  I was told by some college coaches that they understand kids, especially our kids age, are going to have a bad day. They just need to see they have the tools they are looking for and the character to boot and they will take a chance on them. That is why they come to these events to watch the kids demeanor, work ethic, and attitude. Tell her not to let her get discouraged by a single less than ideal day. The coaches probably saw what they needed to see. They are going to completely rebuild her when she gets to college, swing and all, so she should be good.

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Posted (edited)
On 5/14/2024 at 4:48 PM, Modessit said:

Unless your wife has a history of running marathons on a broken leg, tell her to get the epidural early. My wife - who has a low pain tolerance - decided she wanted to wait and see if she could handle it with the first kid (water broke but contractions hadn't started yet, kid came 6 days early). It was rough holding her still when contractions were hitting so they could get it in. On the second kid, she told them to send the epidural guy in as soon as we got to the room (scheduled inducement, kid was 6 days late).

And a thing new dads can forget - while your wife will have a bag packed for her and the baby, make sure to have one for you too. I was in the hospital with wife and baby for 2 days wearing the same clothes because I didn't think to bring anything besides a phone charger.

Yeah we are about to start working on getting those packed for the next few weeks. I'm in need of a new duffle bag for travel as my current one is starting to get holes. This is kind of what I have so far sitting in my Amazon cart:

image.thumb.png.08d890d271e5b490e4a207868d042a38.png

 

Never hurts to have more chargers around the house, was sure to get 10ft ones same for the power strip. Anything else I should add? 

 

Obviously I'll have basic toiletries, a trash bag for dirty clothes, wear home clothes, pillow/blanket and loungewear. We'll also be bringing our Bluetooth speaker from home so music can be played in background, per her request. 


What did yall wear during delivery? Something you didn't mind getting disgusting? 

Edited by BurntOrange&White
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On 5/14/2024 at 4:48 PM, Modessit said:

And a thing new dads can forget - while your wife will have a bag packed for her and the baby, make sure to have one for you too. I was in the hospital with wife and baby for 2 days wearing the same clothes because I didn't think to bring anything besides a phone charger.

Why not just head home to grab stuff before day 2?

 

24 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

We'll also be bringing our Bluetooth speaker

Makes things much more pleasant. 

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Yeah we are about to start working on getting those packed for the next few weeks. I'm in need of a new duffle bag for travel as my current one is starting to get holes. This is kind of what I have so far sitting in my Amazon cart:

image.thumb.png.08d890d271e5b490e4a207868d042a38.png
 
Never hurts to have more chargers around the house, was sure to get 10ft ones same for the power strip. Anything else I should add? 
 
Obviously I'll have basic toiletries, a trash bag for dirty clothes, wear home clothes, pillow/blanket and loungewear. We'll also be bringing our Bluetooth speaker from home so music can be played in background, per her request. 


What did yall wear during delivery? Something you didn't mind getting disgusting? 
Wife had on a hospital gown and that's it.

I had on regular clothes - jeans, shirt, etc. You don't touch nothing disgusting - even cutting the cord. Baby comes out all slimy and is dropped on mama while they start wiping it clean, then you cut the cord and they take it give it a bath and you go watch and listen as they show you how to do it. Then they wrap it up like a burrito and give it to you and you take it to mama who has been cleaned up.
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Why not just head home and grab stuff before Day 2?


Water broke just before midnight. We went to the hospital, they checked and admitted her about 130a Thursday morning, epidural at 7a, baby came at 126p. Visitors started showing up around 3p thru 9p. Wife was exhausted and sleeping. Baby has reflux so I was trying to stay awake to keep an eye on him, but around 1a I had been up for 41 hrs straight and couldn't stay awake anymore so they came and took him to the nursery until my wife woke up. I passed out on the little couch. Woke up about 11a on Day 2 and left for a bit to go get my paycheck and put it in the bank (Friday) and didn't feel like driving an hour to get home and then come back. Grabbed some take out and went back to the hospital. They released us Saturday morning.
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Oh, and pro tip:

After the epidural she won't feel anything waist down but also can't MOVE anything down there either. So when you're helping hold a leg up on one side while they check her cervix and they day she can put her legs back down, don't just let go thinking she'll lower them herself.

BOOM!

You'll be judged by both her and the nurse.

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Posted (edited)
24 minutes ago, Modessit said:

Wife had on a hospital gown and that's it.

I had on regular clothes - jeans, shirt, etc. You don't touch nothing disgusting - even cutting the cord. Baby comes out all slimy and is dropped on mama while they start wiping it clean, then you cut the cord and they take it give it a bath and you go watch and listen as they show you how to do it. Then they wrap it up like a burrito and give it to you and you take it to mama who has been cleaned up.

I think per my wife we want to do the delayed bath thing, at least 8-24 hours per what she read. 

We bought a small cheap $15 backpack as "his" hospital bag to put the stuff she wants to take for him in. As for going home outfit she wanted something cute we we found this:

 

image.png.ec3934136dfad0014cb2352ab9a9a203.png

Edited by BurntOrange&White
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I think per my wife we want to do the delayed bath thing, at least 8-24 hours per what she read. 

 
Hmm. They gave both of ours a quick little warm wash in the sink atea to get the blood and stuff off before wrapping them up. Didn't have any problems. If you want that delayed, make sure to tell the nurses so they just do a wipe down instead of a bath.

Here's my 2nd right after the rinse and what she looks like now:

88994171f07fdf389b2cf528cca29be5.jpgf4a26a768c42da7f052bf207fb5702db.jpg
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1 minute ago, Modessit said:

Hmm. They gave both of ours a quick little warm wash in the sink atea to get the blood and stuff off before wrapping them up. Didn't have any problems. If you want that delayed, make sure to tell the nurses so they just do a wipe down instead of a bath.

Here's my 2nd right after the rinse and what she looks like now:

88994171f07fdf389b2cf528cca29be5.jpgf4a26a768c42da7f052bf207fb5702db.jpg

Yeah we have one of those pregnancy plan things filled out to give...although we're unsure if we give to dr or to main nurse when time comes or when exactly to give 

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We want a circumcision performed and we put that in the birth plan. Is that something we should also tell our Dr prior? When does that occur exactly? 
I think they asked us either before we went so it was already in the file or right after checked up and they knew it was a boy (1st kid). I can't recall exactly of the did it 1st day (after kids was born early afternoon) or 2nd day. I do remember that I went with him when they took him and he started pissing right after they opened the diaper and it shot up over the sides of the bassinet and right onto my foot. I think it was first day. You can always mention it to your nurse after you're admitted so she can make sure it's noted.
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Wife tried to tough it out w/o an epidural for daughter #2.  She eventually caved.  They administered the epi last minute, and it was a pretty painful birth, regardless.

Then they started with the stitches.  Turns out the epi only blocked one side.  Oops.  New adventures in 10/10 pain.  Still had to pay that guy like $5K because he magically wasn't "in network".

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Steal some of those hospital blankets. Still my favorites. And again I have this swaddle wisdom for you. Pediatricians, babysitters, mothers, wives - they have all remarked upon the greatness of my swaddle technique. No baby has broken free from my kung fu blanket grip.

Spoiler

Two blankets Diamond orientation folded a bit at the top. Lay baby on blanket with head just at/above the flat spot. Wrap each side of the top blanket over the baby arms and then under the baby body on that same side, trapping the arms in place with the baby’s own weight. Fold up both blankets at the bottom (this deviates from the photos but is the latest evolution), wrap one side under the baby as tightly as you can and then repeat with the other side. Marvel at your baby already drifting into slumber.


 

IMG_6567.thumb.jpeg.40f4703b686629ac71607186a1c77724.jpeg

IMG_6568.thumb.jpeg.36a784a9d5b0a26641e7c7ff1c983e71.jpeg

IMG_6569.thumb.jpeg.b9d97ca5f860cd5c579e85e74aa032cd.jpeg

 

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On 5/10/2024 at 5:50 PM, Modessit said:

I'm ask my wife tonight if he's still taking it and why not if he isn't.

My son's current teacher is very Type A in control of her classroom and once her and my son understood each other it got much better. Rarely ever hear anything from her about his behavior except for the time he decided to show someone his butt in class (he likes being the class clown).

My 1st grade grandson was drummed out of the Montessori school for doing that same thing.

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On 5/14/2024 at 4:48 PM, Modessit said:

Unless your wife has a history of running marathons on a broken leg, tell her to get the epidural early. My wife - who has a low pain tolerance - decided she wanted to wait and see if she could handle it with the first kid (water broke but contractions hadn't started yet, kid came 6 days early). It was rough holding her still when contractions were hitting so they could get it in. On the second kid, she told them to send the epidural guy in as soon as we got to the room (scheduled inducement, kid was 6 days late).

And a thing new dads can forget - while your wife will have a bag packed for her and the baby, make sure to have one for you too. I was in the hospital with wife and baby for 2 days wearing the same clothes because I didn't think to bring anything besides a phone charger.

Word of caution….
When Mrs. Brat got the epidural for our 3rd son in 1972, the anesthesiologist apparently botched its application. 
Even since then she has had terrible lower back pains that last for a full day periodically two or three times a month. Never had them before then.

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Posted (edited)
On 5/14/2024 at 11:59 AM, BurntOrange&White said:

We are almost 60 days out from due date.....nerves are starting to build for me and the wife. She's starting to get scared about delivery and that process. Any tips on how to calm her down about that? Apparently just go with the flow and breathe isn't the right thing to say. haha

One thing that helped my wife and I was to write out a birth plan with all of her goals and preferences for care during labor and delivery. It helped us game out and think through what was and wasn't important, like no episiotomy and delayed cord clamping etc etc. 

But honestly, even with taking classes and having a great support structure, the last trimester was hell for my wife. She got less and less comfortable every day until the delivery - and then you're perpetually tired lol. 

 

Shoot me a PM if you'd like, I'd be happy to share our 1pager birth plan that we wrote up

 

Edit: and my wife was SO glad she got an epidural, 11/10 in her words

Edited by Captainant
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So... not about a baby. 
My son,  the eldest, Just graduated both high school and tech school. 
Fully certified ASE auto tech.  Starts his first job Monday with a luxury brand.  Going into their apprenticeship program and will be making close to 100k in a year or two with no college debt.
I guess you could say I'm pretty proud

They provide tools? Cause those things are expensive.
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He got a huge set with a huge discount from the tech school. 

They're are quite a few specialized tools that the company provides,  and he will also add on to his set as he goes. 

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Posted (edited)
On 5/17/2024 at 9:31 PM, Captainant said:

One thing that helped my wife and I was to write out a birth plan with all of her goals and preferences for care during labor and delivery. It helped us game out and think through what was and wasn't important, like no episiotomy and delayed cord clamping etc etc. 

But honestly, even with taking classes and having a great support structure, the last trimester was hell for my wife. She got less and less comfortable every day until the delivery - and then you're perpetually tired lol. 

 

Shoot me a PM if you'd like, I'd be happy to share our 1pager birth plan that we wrote up

 

Edit: and my wife was SO glad she got an epidural, 11/10 in her words

I have a blank version of this we got from our dula for first pregnancy that we have used and given to a number of friends. I'll try to remember to upload tomorrow if people want to use it.

Edited by NoName
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Oh yeah and if there's any soon-to-be dads in Houston, I highly recommend the Motherhood Center for your wife/partner AND for you to get educated. We did newborn care, prepared childbirth, infant CPR, and breastfeeding classes there and it really equipped us with a strong base of knowledge that has at least made things less uncertain and unknown.

And after the baby is born, they have a curated network of nurses and nannies and babysitters which is nice for a backup

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On 5/18/2024 at 12:14 PM, SKJ said:

So... not about a baby. 

My son,  the eldest, Just graduated both high school and tech school. 

Fully certified ASE auto tech.  Starts his first job Monday with a luxury brand.  Going into their apprenticeship program and will be making close to 100k in a year or two with no college debt.

I guess you could say I'm pretty proud

 

If I could do it all over again, I think I might would go this route. 

 

 

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

If I could do it all over again, I think I might would go this route. 

 

 

Me too,  for real.  Fucking college was not the value it was sold as. 

He's going to have the world on a string.  He gets to travel for the company for schools,  including to Europe.  

They also pay double and triple flag time when he hits the line as a tech.  Serious money there. 

The shop is clean and pristine,  and when he becomes a master tech,  he'll be making easily over 100k... 

The matter techs at the shop can make in the neighborhood of 200k

Edited by SKJ
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3 hours ago, closetohumping said:

17 year old gonna be graduating from Brooklyn tech.  Wow time has flown by. My 9 year old will be a teen 🔜 

That's amazing.  What program did he take?

 

Yeah,  my daughter is 12 (nope... not ever) going on 22. She's gonna be the one that destroys the earth... 

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14 minutes ago, SKJ said:

That's amazing.  What program did he take?

 

Yeah,  my daughter is 12 (nope... not ever) going on 22. She's gonna be the one that destroys the earth... 

social sciences.   It’s been rough watching him grow up in nyc from California 

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3 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

social sciences.   It’s been rough watching him grow up in nyc from California 

Ouch. That's tough as fuck.  I don't know if I could do it. 

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On 5/14/2024 at 11:59 AM, BurntOrange&White said:

We are almost 60 days out from due date.....nerves are starting to build for me and the wife. She's starting to get scared about delivery and that process. Any tips on how to calm her down about that? Apparently just go with the flow and breathe isn't the right thing to say. haha

rock n roll GIF by Zakk Wylde

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On 5/14/2024 at 11:59 AM, BurntOrange&White said:

We are almost 60 days out from due date.....nerves are starting to build for me and the wife. She's starting to get scared about delivery and that process. Any tips on how to calm her down about that? Apparently just go with the flow and breathe isn't the right thing to say. haha

As Modessit says, get her on the EPI ASAP. And I'd start telling her now the EPI will take care of everything. 

On 5/14/2024 at 4:48 PM, Modessit said:

Unless your wife has a history of running marathons on a broken leg, tell her to get the epidural early. My wife - who has a low pain tolerance - decided she wanted to wait and see if she could handle it with the first kid (water broke but contractions hadn't started yet, kid came 6 days early). It was rough holding her still when contractions were hitting so they could get it in. On the second kid, she told them to send the epidural guy in as soon as we got to the room (scheduled inducement, kid was 6 days late).

And a thing new dads can forget - while your wife will have a bag packed for her and the baby, make sure to have one for you too. I was in the hospital with wife and baby for 2 days wearing the same clothes because I didn't think to bring anything besides a phone charger.

My wife had preeclampsia symptoms, and she also has anxiety, and they couldn't get her on the EPI for awhile becuase they couldn't get her damn heart rate at an acceptable level. So she was soldiering through it for aout 7 hours before they could get it administered, and for awhile it looked like she wasn't going to be able to get it. That was all mildly terrifying. Finally she got it, and everything after that just smoothed out. But it was grim for awhile. 

On 5/16/2024 at 12:07 PM, BurntOrange&White said:

Yeah we are about to start working on getting those packed for the next few weeks. I'm in need of a new duffle bag for travel as my current one is starting to get holes. This is kind of what I have so far sitting in my Amazon cart:

image.thumb.png.08d890d271e5b490e4a207868d042a38.png

 

Never hurts to have more chargers around the house, was sure to get 10ft ones same for the power strip. Anything else I should add? 

 

Obviously I'll have basic toiletries, a trash bag for dirty clothes, wear home clothes, pillow/blanket and loungewear. We'll also be bringing our Bluetooth speaker from home so music can be played in background, per her request. 


What did yall wear during delivery? Something you didn't mind getting disgusting? 

It's not very bussiness-y, but I have had a Northface duffel for years now. Things are fucking indestrcutable. 
https://www.thenorthface.com/en-us/bags-and-gear/luggage-and-duffels/duffel-bags-c224547

 

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Sigh.  Daughter is up to her neck in her job search.  She just got an offer, which is nice.  But it sure looks like it would be a crappy job for her, wouldn't use the skills she wants to use at all, wouldn't really develop her, and would be highly stressful (while it's called "recruiting," it's really just a cold-calling sales job, where they hire 100 22-24 year olds, toss them into the sea, and see if any of them generate revenue).  Online reviews of the gig say as much, they are not positive at all.  As much as she wants to get a job, and we want her to get a job, and we ALL know that the "first job" will NOT be the "perfect job," we're also concerned that the stress of having a job that shitty a job will be worse than the stress of keeping up the search.

Ultimately, she'll make the decision, because she's a grown-ass woman.  But we fret about her and for her, because the parenting gig never ends.  

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14 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Sigh.  Daughter is up to her neck in her job search.  She just got an offer, which is nice.  But it sure looks like it would be a crappy job for her, wouldn't use the skills she wants to use at all, wouldn't really develop her, and would be highly stressful (while it's called "recruiting," it's really just a cold-calling sales job, where they hire 100 22-24 year olds, toss them into the sea, and see if any of them generate revenue).  Online reviews of the gig say as much, they are not positive at all.  As much as she wants to get a job, and we want her to get a job, and we ALL know that the "first job" will NOT be the "perfect job," we're also concerned that the stress of having a job that shitty a job will be worse than the stress of keeping up the search.

Ultimately, she'll make the decision, because she's a grown-ass woman.  But we fret about her and for her, because the parenting gig never ends.  

Had a very similar situation with my oldest.  She's still at UT, but was offered an internship with one of the big companies selling financial products.  Internship was for 9 months.  She really wanted to start doing real work and this was the only internship she was offered.  I knew that it was simply bring the names and numbers of 300 of your closest friends and we'll train you to make the sales pitches.  Her personality is not that outgoing and I knew it would be a bad job for her.  I contacted a friend in that industry, told her about the situation, asked if they could become linked in buddies, and if she would talk to my daughter about the industry.  In the end, she decided not to take the internship offer and I'm glad it was based upon her learning about the position from someone in the industry as opposed to me trying to tell her it wasn't a great idea.

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On 5/21/2024 at 8:26 AM, SydneyCarton said:

My wife had preeclampsia symptoms, and she also has anxiety, and they couldn't get her on the EPI for awhile becuase they couldn't get her damn heart rate at an acceptable level.

This doesn't make sense. You mean her blood pressure?

On 5/14/2024 at 4:48 PM, Modessit said:

Unless your wife has a history of running marathons on a broken leg, tell her to get the epidural early

Agreed and if she's on the fence about getting it and it’s getting into the evening hours, she should just get it. Better to have it placed by someone that's awake and her pain is not as bad yet, than to have it placed by someone that was asleep 5 mins ago and she's freaking out in pain. 

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3 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Sigh.  Daughter is up to her neck in her job search.  She just got an offer, which is nice.  But it sure looks like it would be a crappy job for her, wouldn't use the skills she wants to use at all, wouldn't really develop her, and would be highly stressful (while it's called "recruiting," it's really just a cold-calling sales job, where they hire 100 22-24 year olds, toss them into the sea, and see if any of them generate revenue).  Online reviews of the gig say as much, they are not positive at all.  As much as she wants to get a job, and we want her to get a job, and we ALL know that the "first job" will NOT be the "perfect job," we're also concerned that the stress of having a job that shitty a job will be worse than the stress of keeping up the search.

Ultimately, she'll make the decision, because she's a grown-ass woman.  But we fret about her and for her, because the parenting gig never ends.  

When did/does she graduate, and what major?

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Sigh.  Daughter is up to her neck in her job search.  She just got an offer, which is nice.  But it sure looks like it would be a crappy job for her, wouldn't use the skills she wants to use at all, wouldn't really develop her, and would be highly stressful (while it's called "recruiting," it's really just a cold-calling sales job, where they hire 100 22-24 year olds, toss them into the sea, and see if any of them generate revenue).  Online reviews of the gig say as much, they are not positive at all.  As much as she wants to get a job, and we want her to get a job, and we ALL know that the "first job" will NOT be the "perfect job," we're also concerned that the stress of having a job that shitty a job will be worse than the stress of keeping up the search.
Ultimately, she'll make the decision, because she's a grown-ass woman.  But we fret about her and for her, because the parenting gig never ends.  

This kind of shit builds character. She’ll be fine dad.
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Just now, jimmyjazz said:

When did/does she graduate, and what major?

She graduated last may, double major from McGill in Linguistics and German.  Didn't really plan her graduation exit/post grad plans well.  She came home, was a bit lost.  Ended up doing some decent work here in the Linguistics field, so not a blank spot on her resume.  Her real hook is that she's multi lingual (English, fluent German, close-to-fluent French and Swedish/Norwegian/Danish).  She's got experience starting organizations and projects....but it's all student-level.  It's hard to get a job when you are in the "no real-world experience group," which includes most of her peers (outside of some small jobs she's had).

Bottom line, she's looking for most any gig that 1) will use her language skills, and 2) will hire her.  The heck of it is, while this job technically calls for her to be fluent in German, they revealed that they really won't be leaning on her using those skills that much.  And so many of the reviews of the place use the word "toxic."  She can be strong, and can work her ass off, so she can put up with the pressure of a hard gig....but she in particular doesn't need "toxic."  She's really wrestling with this one.

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She graduated last may, double major from McGill in Linguistics and German.  Didn't really plan her graduation exit/post grad plans well.  She came home, was a bit lost.  Ended up doing some decent work here in the Linguistics field, so not a blank spot on her resume.  Her real hook is that she's multi lingual (English, fluent German, close-to-fluent French and Swedish/Norwegian/Danish).  She's got experience starting organizations and projects....but it's all student-level.  It's hard to get a job when you are in the "no real-world experience group," which includes most of her peers (outside of some small jobs she's had).
Bottom line, she's looking for most any gig that 1) will use her language skills, and 2) will hire her.  The heck of it is, while this job technically calls for her to be fluent in German, they revealed that they really won't be leaning on her using those skills that much.  And so many of the reviews of the place use the word "toxic."  She can be strong, and can work her ass off, so she can put up with the pressure of a hard gig....but she in particular doesn't need "toxic."  She's really wrestling with this one.
Has she talked to a local German Heritage chapter/organization? She could tutor or teach kids who are learning while she looks for that position with a multinational company. I have a friend who was born and raised in Germany who teaches at a German school part-time. She also runs a catering business featuring authentic German foods.
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13 hours ago, Howlin wolf said:

This doesn't make sense. You mean her blood pressure?

Agreed and if she's on the fence about getting it and it’s getting into the evening hours, she should just get it. Better to have it placed by someone that's awake and her pain is not as bad yet, than to have it placed by someone that was asleep 5 mins ago and she's freaking out in pain. 

yes, sorry her BP. Those 2 days all sort of run together. 

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