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Surly Dad Thread


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On 5/8/2021 at 1:58 PM, fattyflattie said:

All 3 of mine lost the training wheels at 4.  Usually about 15-20 trips running just behind them with ahold of the seat and they got it.   All of them took to it in one sitting.  In about a week they had it down pat.  But it’s definitely one of those things that helps out when they are ready, or think they are.  

I griped that it was just another bs expense that we didn’t need, but my wife was right on the balance bike. Number 1 had training wheels and it took some practice a little after 5 to get her going. Number 2 had a balance bike from about 2 or 3. He could keep up with me jogging by 4. Spent about 2 minutes with training wills on when he turned 5 and realized they were fucking him up. Took those off and realized he probably could have been on a regular bike 6 months earlier. 
 

There’s probably a Husbands thread on the internet somewhere and my bitching about the balance bike when we first got it is rightfully captured there. 

Edited by UT_OB1
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Lost a little of my freedom tonight. A night I’ve been dreading for a while……. Took down the crib for or just turned 3yo son. Gone are the days I can set him and forget him for 11-12 hours. Now I get to put him back to bed 116 times a night after he crawls to turn on the light and jump on it . Took him about 2 hours in his room to crash. Maybe it’ll be quick and easier once it’s not so new anymore.

But damn I miss that crib

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45 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


I let him out for exercise, meals and religious reasons a few hours a day


Update: fell out twice, need bed rails. Also had a severe thunderstorm with 70 mph straight line winds so that helped. A lot.

My oldest asked at 2 to sleep in a bed. He's fallen out multiple times even with a bumper pad.

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I still don't know how our parents did the playground/sports/activity stuff without smart phones. 
I choose to believe they all had small flasks hidden in a pocket or a purse.
I ran around on the playground with my daughter while the other parents sat on their phones. I was the Dad playing monster. Loved every minute of it!

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

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Oldest son has Computer Science degree from West Point and will have his masters from GaTech in May.

Starting to do networking and interviews for job when he gets out of the Army in May, and he tells me he has 'leadership skills interview' tomorrow with a fellowship that works with all of the biggies like Amazon, Google, etc.

Big daddy head swelling moment occurs when he tells me nothing they ask him can be tougher than my "car talk' questions when he was in high school and I would have him as a captive audience. Well hell yeah I completely took advantage of the situation... It's very fucking cool as a dad to have it come back that way.

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Okay, the link just takes you to a generic fatherly video.  But if you can find it, it's on a bunch of social media outlets right now (just dropped).  I'm only on their newsletter---but it's a interview about fatherhood with Barack Obama from www.fatherly.com    And man, it got me choked up being in the 2-daughters club as well.  I think about his girls and about Pres. Bush and what a wonderful father he is.  And I think, holy shit---if they can raise two girls with all that chaos around them, I can probably find more time to be better for mine.  find it this weekend to watch after the kids have gone to sleep.  It was eye-opening.  Pres. Bush is also woefully underrated for being a wonderful dad who raised two incredibly well-adjusted girls.  

This thread makes me stop and realize Father's Day is one of a 1000 reminders each year not to pat ourselves on the back, but to look around and see how we can be ever better dads.  We are none of us special, or great dads.  But we are trying and improving little by little each day.  I'll never be as good a dad as a guy who leaves the Situation Room to go practice volleyball on the White House lawn.  But dads like us, on this thread...we're moving pebbles each and every day with the hope of cobbling together a mountainous foundation for our kids.  

We took the kids late afternoon the Wildflower Center in Austin where mommy and daddy were married.  To see them running around and exploring the very place we wrote our vows was tear-jerking.  I'll never be a great dad, but I think I can be a tiny bit better each time I stop and look around.  

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Meh. Those guys have every bit of support available to people.  Good on them for being good dads.

IDK if I am a better dad than anyone else, but I DO know that I showed up and actively participated in my boys' lives, to the point that we are even closer now that they are grown ass men. Never once have they had to wonder if they were loved. Never once have they had to wonder if Mom and Dad had their backs in life/ wanted what was best for them.  That doesn't mean we always agreed or took their side in a dispute, but they always knew where we were coming from.  What a different place the world might be if every child had that.

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Meh. Those guys have every bit of support available to people.  Good on them for being good dads.
IDK if I am a better dad than anyone else, but I DO know that I showed up and actively participated in my boys' lives, to the point that we are even closer now that they are grown ass men. Never once have they had to wonder if they were loved. Never once have they had to wonder if Mom and Dad had their backs in life/ wanted what was best for them.  That doesn't mean we always agreed or took their side in a dispute, but they always knew where we were coming from.  What a different place the world might be if every child had that.

Exactly. Those guys arent struggling to make ends meet or dealing with more things that normal people have. All the advantages possible makes it a lot easier to do that. Seriously, how much of their day is tied up actually being presidential?
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Wasn't saying I idolized their fathering, just that both men seem to be good dads raising two girls into adulthood now.  Neither one is really preoccupied doing much these days but yes, all their help certainly helps.  There are shitty dads and great dads in every walk of life.  
Look at Hollywood---plenty of rich guys with all the help in the world.  And they fuck their kids up at every single turn.  Then you got guys like Martin Short and Rick Moranis who put everything on hold for their families because there is no substitute for being there.  I just mentioned the Obama talk because it was literally live last evening, thought some folks might give it a listen.  I appreciate different fatherly perspectives since mine has been dead for so long, Bush 43 is one of those dads I look to from time to time. 

And like every other industry, I believe we've had some great dads in the White House and we've had some dads who wouldn't know what states his children live in without some prompting.  

But as I said, as this thread points out, and as we remember our own dads on Father's Day.....the whole point is to just trying to be a little, tiny bit better.  Because we'll still fail.  But hopefully that example of persistence rubs off on our children to use in their own lives.  

 

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10 hours ago, slorch said:

Meh. Those guys have every bit of support available to people.  Good on them for being good dads.

IDK if I am a better dad than anyone else, but I DO know that I showed up and actively participated in my boys' lives, to the point that we are even closer now that they are grown ass men. Never once have they had to wonder if they were loved. Never once have they had to wonder if Mom and Dad had their backs in life/ wanted what was best for them.  That doesn't mean we always agreed or took their side in a dispute, but they always knew where we were coming from.  What a different place the world might be if every child had that.

This is good advice but I’ll add one thing.  The best times I had with my dad were the last ten years before he died, when we realized I was a grown man and no longer required parenting, and we became friends.  I dare say he was probably my closest friend before he passed, even if I didn’t admit it at the time.  All the parenting before that, any mistakes just kinda got swept aside.  

So after giving it some more thought, the best gift you can give your dad is to stop looking at him as a parent, and start looking at him as a person, same as you with all the faults and other human qualities.  Once I did that, friendship came naturally.

Edited by Judge Roybeanbag
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7th Father's Day/Girl Dad day for me.  Woke up early to get the fishing gear ready for my oldest so we can go before it gets too hot.  

I am aware that I probably know less now than I did in June 2015 about fathering.  I guess they just get more complex as humans, and I just try to be more human.  

It's just a madeup greeting card holiday but it does remind me each summer to slow down and spend more quality time with the girls.  

Y'all enjoy the day...and let's cap it off by letting our daughters enjoy watching us revel in Texas beating the ever living shit out of Mississippi State.  

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Happy 4th!  Perfect day for us, really.  I took the kids to the horse track.  Taught my daughter how to read a sheet. Son just picked long shots. He won on a 10-1 (errr I mean I did).  Came home, grilled some flank steak and sword fish.  Now the wife is off to find a fireworks display as I stay back to reassure the good boys that the world is not coming to an end. Fun day!

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On 6/20/2021 at 5:16 AM, Thatguy said:

Instagram'ie type pic of the kiddo jump serving. She just turned 13 last month. 5'9 and growing. We are currently in Orlando for Nationals. 3-0 day one. Boy how time flies! 1d3ff0b33fa408dc72c83081061091ea.jpg

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I was there same time with my 14 year old.  Nice quaint little tournament with 171 courts playing simultaneously.  My ears are still ringing…

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1 hour ago, SurlyGator said:

I was there same time with my 14 year old.  Nice quaint little tournament with 171 courts playing simultaneously.  My ears are still ringing…

  Yeah, that place was impossible to get around in. Just finding the court was hard enough. We were the afternoon wave so we couldn't enjoy the amenities either. Finding anything to eat around International was a nightmare too. Most places were still closing earlier from Covid. The line for Wendy's was wrapped around the building one and a half times. We drove 20 minutes away to John Young Pkwy to get food.

Edited by Thatguy
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God, how did I miss this thread. Grats to all of you raising a snot nose that you can't wait to see what they will become. It's the greatest life experience ever. 

Mine is a senior ME student, boat mechanic, and has the chief of hiring engineering interns at Lockheed asking him when he is going to turn in his application. Enjoy this time in your life. You made the choice and deserve all the good things that come with it. If I could do it all over again, I would do it in a minute. The greatest thing you can leave in life, is the legacy your children live up to.

CHIEF

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re: poops

How is it that 4mo baby that weighs less than 20 pounds can poop so much it literally shoots out each side of the diaper?  You know its a good one when you decide they need a bath immediately afterward.  At least after one of these weapons grade poops, she sleeps like a rock and is generally very agreeable.

Perhaps I just forgot how much babies can actually poop, as there is a ~6 year gap between my daughters.  

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re: poops
How is it that 4mo baby that weighs less than 20 pounds can poop so much it literally shoots out each side of the diaper?  You know its a good one when you decide they need a bath immediately afterward.  At least after one of these weapons grade poops, she sleeps like a rock and is generally very agreeable.
Perhaps I just forgot how much babies can actually poop, as there is a ~6 year gap between my daughters.  

Are the diapers getting a size too small or was this just an anomaly?

My 3YO had a shit yesterday that resulted in jammies just being tossed in the trash. Like me, He doesn’t poop if I’m not in the comforts of my own home. It’s weird…so he had a some back up after the fourth 3 day vacation.
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13 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


Are the diapers getting a size too small or was this just an anomaly?

My 3YO had a shit yesterday that resulted in jammies just being tossed in the trash. Like me, He doesn’t poop if I’m not in the comforts of my own home. It’s weird…so he had a some back up after the fourth 3 day vacation.

Probably an anomaly having to do with positioning at time of deposit, but still it was a thing to behold.  Sometimes the best tack is to just hose them down and restart with a fresh set of clothes entirely.  Until they do it again 2 hours later.

 

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Congrats. It’s an amazing feeling to see and hold them for the first time.
You are not lying. I never realized how emotional I could be until I saw her for the first time. I think I cried more than baby did. After 18 months of negative tests, doctor appointments, and labs the miracle finally happened.
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You are not lying. I never realized how emotional I could be until I saw her for the first time. I think I cried more than baby did. After 18 months of negative tests, doctor appointments, and labs the miracle finally happened.

Wow. I know a few couples that had troubles…then they suddenly have 2-3 in a span of 5 years.
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Wow. I know a few couples that had troubles…then they suddenly have 2-3 in a span of 5 years.
We tried for 4 years and did over $5000 worth of fertility and IUIs for 10 months with two miscarriages before finally getting one to stick and getting our boy (now 7).

18 months later we still had some ovulation tests left over and decided to just try the timing and not spend any more money. If it happened then it happened. We got pregnant on the first try and got our girl (now 5).
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On 7/8/2021 at 11:28 AM, hookemATL said:

Probably an anomaly having to do with positioning at time of deposit, but still it was a thing to behold.  Sometimes the best tack is to just hose them down and restart with a fresh set of clothes entirely.  Until they do it again 2 hours later.

 

In Taiwan back in the 1950s, local kids didn’t wear pants until they were house broken.

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On 7/7/2021 at 9:15 PM, Bevo Num1 said:

Will I finally joined the Surly Dad club today. Seeing my daughter for the first time brought all the feels. I'm beyond words.

Remember: wipe front-to-back and prepare yourself for watching dozens of kids movies.

She might be a little young for it, but in late 2022 or 2023, you will be able to take her to the live-action Barbie doll movie, starting Margot Robbie as Barbie.  Hopefully you will be able to sit through the movie and not be bored to tears.

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32 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

Watching kids movies through your kids eyes is awesome. Not boring.

And it will be hundreds. Not dozens.

Depends on the movies and shows.  I can watch Bluey for an hour or two with my kid every day of the week.  Can watch plenty of Disney and Pixar stuff with them.  But there are some....

But I don't think I'll have any problems with the Barbie movie, just as long as my kids don't see it through my eyes.

 

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Remember: wipe front-to-back and prepare yourself for watching dozens of kids movies.
She might be a little young for it, but in late 2022 or 2023, you will be able to take her to the live-action Barbie doll movie, starting Margot Robbie as Barbie.  Hopefully you will be able to sit through the movie and not be bored to tears.


I can watch Margot Robbie for a few hours.
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On 7/9/2021 at 1:56 PM, tbone_ said:

Watching kids movies through your kids eyes is awesome. Not boring.

And it will be hundreds. Not dozens.

When my oldest was about 3 we watched Lilo and Stitch together. There was a dramatic scene where something happened to Stitch, and my kiddo just screamed "Stitch, no!!!" Before that I was never sure if they were actually following the movies when we watched them. Still one of my favorite memories. 

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I was watching my youngest and my nieces on Saturday. I farted a little louder than I intended. My youngest niece immediately said, "Uncle X, you are a tooter." Not that I tooted. That I am a tooter.

Since I supplied it, I did not deny it. But 48 hours later I can't help thinking...I'm a tooter.

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