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Bryan Harsin at Auburn (Spoiler: He Got Fired)


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Had a teammate senior year of HS who was all-state HB. He was as close to being a "beautiful" man as anyone I've ever seen: curly hair, gorgeous physique (and natural, too, dude never worked out), handsome face, straightest whiteist teeth... Every female who saw him, from eight to eighty, just melted. When he mowed the lawn for his mom, women would drive around the block to get enough courage up to ask his mom how much her yard boy charged. He miled a lot, too. He was our cruisin' partner, 'cause he was an infallible chick magnet at any drive-in.
OK, OK, TMI.
One unfortunate Friday (for him) he was plowing up the South Forty on the wife of one of the local deputies. Deputy had told her they had an event to work at, (prolly at Tojo Nunally's Coal Yard... Friday night was cock fights, illegal but condoned as long as the Sheriff and the Boys got a taste. He wanted to pick up something at the house first, which was why he walked in the door at 1800 instead of tomorrow morning. Deputy heard what he later called "unseemly noises" coming from upstairs. He ran upstairs, got out his .38 Special, kicked open the door, and as the male participant in the unseemly noise-making leaped at him from the bed, put two rounds in him, one in his heart and one in his left lung. He was dead before he hit the floor. Deputy threw a towel to his wife, told her to wrap up but not clean off, went back downstairs, called the Sheriff and told him what happened, "I went home before heading for the job, and Thank God, because my wife was being attacked by a naked rapist. I tried to subdue him; he tried to get my service weapon, but I got it first. Unfortunately it discharged twice, striking him both times. He appears to dead. Both my wife and I need help."

Fuckin’ Pakistan
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9 hours ago, RabidM said:

It looks like Auburn is trying to find a way out of his buyout.  Harsin is not going to cooperate and his side piece will not as well.  I wonder if Harsin has to cooperate since he signed a contract before the new policy was put into place.  My gut says they can't retroactively put new conditions on his contract without his consent.  This looks like an old west stare down over buyout money. 

Buddy of mine called it JABA.

(Just Auburn Being Auburn)

 

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America up 5-0 in the 3rd quarter.  I think we're gonna win this.

Re: Americans playing elsewhere, and foreigners playing here.  I'm not a fan of it in either case.  Call me a mouthbreathing homer, but I believe our government, in recent times, has not been as bad as China's.  For that reason, I have a special dislike for Americans who go over there.

ETA

We're up 6-0.

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1 minute ago, aggie08 said:

This Olympic update brought to you by Trojan. Trojan, ribbed for her pleasure.

Olympic update?  I thought it was an analogy of sorts.  Harsin and his harlot were foreigners playing around in the South and he put one in her her five hole which led to inserting his 6 in her 0. 

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15 minutes ago, Parliament said:

America up 5-0 in the 3rd quarter.  I think we're gonna win this.

Re: Americans playing elsewhere, and foreigners playing here.  I'm not a fan of it in either case.  Call me a mouthbreathing homer, but I believe our government, in recent times, has not been as bad as China's.  For that reason, I have a special dislike for Americans who go over there.

ETA

We're up 6-0.

112021-bryan-harsin-south-carolina-jeff-

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21 minutes ago, Parliament said:

America up 5-0 in the 3rd quarter.  I think we're gonna win this.

Re: Americans playing elsewhere, and foreigners playing here.  I'm not a fan of it in either case.  Call me a mouthbreathing homer, but I believe our government, in recent times, has not been as bad as China's.  For that reason, I have a special dislike for Americans who go over there.

ETA

We're up 6-0.

Lol

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6 minutes ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

If I was him I would just set up a walled hacienda in Old Mexico and claim diplomatic immunity against any effort to fire me....They can go on and hire interims while I go native in the wilds of Nayarit state, collecting my salary as per United States contract law. 

Auburn: BUILD A WALL!

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35 minutes ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

If I was him I would just set up a walled hacienda in Old Mexico and claim diplomatic immunity against any effort to fire me....They can go on and hire interims while I go native in the wilds of Nayarit state, collecting my salary as per United States contract law. 

Shoot, why hide out in Tlecopapapan? Get a nice space-age modern house in a walled-community-inside-a-walled-community part of Mexico City where even the maids look like telenovela actresses. All his neighbors will be similarly raking in a few million per year thanks to connections, he can hobnob with them and compare mistresses.

Just work on that perfect three-day beard and pop that collar.

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Going around FB amongst my Auburn friends:

"There are 2 Auburns. There is the place and experience and university we love with its students, alumni and [bla bla edited to prevent diabetes]

There is also the Auburn that is the people who are in charge. Who see the athletic program as their private club and toy. Who are not smart but think that they are. Who tell themselves that it is all done for the good of Auburn and make themselves believe it. Who are inbred, paranoid, xenophobic and devoid of self awareness. Who cannot entertain any outside idea or input regardless of how good it is.

And the good Auburn is not able to rid itself of the bad Auburn."

 

It's like self-aware Aggy who go join the real Army if they like uniforms.

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1 minute ago, RDCanecutter said:

Going around FB amongst my Auburn friends:

"There are 2 Auburns. There is the place and experience and university we love with its students, alumni and [bla bla edited to prevent diabetes]

There is also the Auburn that is the people who are in charge. Who see the athletic program as their private club and toy. Who are not smart but think that they are. Who tell themselves that it is all done for the good of Auburn and make themselves believe it. Who are inbred, paranoid, xenophobic and devoid of self awareness. Who cannot entertain any outside idea or input regardless of how good it is.

And the good Auburn is not able to rid itself of the bad Auburn."

 

It's like self-aware Belmont Aggy who go join the real Army if they like uniforms.

FIFY

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9 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Who tell themselves that it is all done for the good of Auburn and make themselves believe it. Who are inbred, paranoid, xenophobic and devoid of self awareness. Who cannot entertain any outside idea or input regardless of how good it is.

I think it was Bruce Feldman who said this guy is the chief of their bmd squad so your fb friend may have a point.

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38 minutes ago, Chopper said:

I think it was Bruce Feldman who said this guy is the chief of their bmd squad so your fb friend may have a point.

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I wonder what secret connections Bobby Lowder still has with Auburn. Dude was a real-life Harry Potter goblin. His surface-world bank failed, but you know the part down in the tunnels is still brimming with gold.

colonial_lowder.03.jpg

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On 2/4/2022 at 2:29 PM, 927 E. 41st said:

By the time you get to side piece "wanting more" from the relationship haven't you pretty much crossed that river a long time ago? 

Over the years I've seen exactly one guy get away with having an affair, and in that case I think she knew and just put up with it. I love women, but I'm really happy to have just the one and not worry about getting the "Phil Hartman" treatment.

Hmmmm.  Doesn't have the courage to live the Surly 1% lifestyle : )

 

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On 2/4/2022 at 11:22 AM, Michael Knight said:

Harsin always did everything better than Major

I’ve had it with you all that continue to slander Major’s San Antonio adventures. If you’ve never had a big booty latin woman throw back on you on a cool December evening you’re missing out on the true human experience. Yet y’all are praising Harsin for slanging dick on this long back broad from Idaho.  

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13 hours ago, RabidM said:

It looks like Auburn is trying to find a way out of his buyout.  Harsin is not going to cooperate and his side piece will not as well.  I wonder if Harsin has to cooperate since he signed a contract before the new policy was put into place.  My gut says they can't retroactively put new conditions on his contract without his consent.  This looks like an old west stare down over buyout money. 

I think they can update the policy and require participation.  However, if participation is surrendering personal phones or emails then that may go beyond what the can legally require (but they may try anyway).   Work phone or devices is different.  I can see Auburn telling him and the lady they want personal phone info and personal email info, and them saying "Those contain no pertinent information, so no."  

University then tries to fire based on this, but in reality any employer can't do or require this unless the device is for work/university activities.  However, it might then go down the Texas Tech sovereign immunity route as they are in the wrong, but Harsin and any employees have no legal chance to win...even if in the right.

This isn't law enforcement getting a warrant.  Employers don't have the right to demand personal data or information.

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32 minutes ago, CastHorn said:

I’ve had it with you all that continue to slander Major’s San Antonio adventures. If you’ve never had a big booty latin woman throw back on you on a cool December evening you’re missing out on the true human experience. Yet y’all are praising Harsin for slanging dick on this long back broad from Idaho.  

I figured Vic Mackey's sock account would have more post than 637

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On 2/8/2022 at 1:36 PM, Aqua Buddha said:

I’ve never understood affairs for this reason.  I’ve never had one in the traditional sense but the logistics and work that goes along with a side piece is exhausting.  I dated two women at the same time once and it was a part time job in it’s own right.

Pros are better and cheaper in the long run and they don’t show up at your house at 2 am drunk and throwing high heeled shoes at your bedroom window.

Wisdom. Truth. Knowledge.  Surly 1% mindset---indeed.

 

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On 2/8/2022 at 12:36 PM, Aqua Buddha said:

I’ve never understood affairs for this reason.  I’ve never had one in the traditional sense but the logistics and work that goes along with a side piece is exhausting.  I dated two women at the same time once and it was a part time job in it’s own right.

Pros are better and cheaper in the long run and they don’t show up at your house at 2 am drunk and throwing high heeled shoes at your bedroom window.

We’d like more info about your untraditional affair please. 

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1 hour ago, ABSR said:

I think they can update the policy and require participation.  However, if participation is surrendering personal phones or emails then that may go beyond what the can legally require (but they may try anyway).   Work phone or devices is different.  I can see Auburn telling him and the lady they want personal phone info and personal email info, and them saying "Those contain no pertinent information, so no."  

University then tries to fire based on this, but in reality any employer can't do or require this unless the device is for work/university activities.  However, it might then go down the Texas Tech sovereign immunity route as they are in the wrong, but Harsin and any employees have no legal chance to win...even if in the right.

This isn't law enforcement getting a warrant.  Employers don't have the right to demand personal data or information.

How many hours did you bill for that answer?

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  • immamac changed the title to Bryan Harsin at Auburn (Spoiler: He Got Fired)

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