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Dallas Cowboys 2022 Regular Season Thread: Fuck Jerry Jones


Vic Mackey

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1 hour ago, Doc Daneeka said:

Super Bowls 1 - 30: Dallas has 8 appearances. 26.7% of these Super Bowls.  

Super Bowls 31 - 57: Dallas has 0 appearances. 0% of these Super Bowls.

Are enough old people passing on their following of the Cowboys for them to stay relevant when they’ve all keeled over?

When the Cowboys were in the playoffs literally every year, I get the widespread popularity. How does this clowncar manage to stay relevant when they’ve been in as many Super Bowls as the Lions, Browns, and Jets this century?

Because the dumbfuck media hypes them up every single year, only to ask "what's all the fuss about?" when they end up being anywhere from a mediocre-solid team. Meanwhile the true fans know it's mostly hopeless but get all sorts of shit talked to them by fans of just about every other team after every loss, because again, the media finds a way to relate literally every topic to the Cowboys and Lakers.

Edited by Pam Cummings
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2 minutes ago, Pam Cummings said:

Because the dumbfuck media hypes them up every single year, only to ask "what's all the fuss about?" when they end up being anywhere from a mediocre-solid team. Meanwhile the true fans know it's mostly hopeless but get all sorts of shit talked to them by fans of just about every other team after every loss, because again, the media finds a way to relate literally every topic to the Cowboys and Lakers.

The Lakers have done something this century, though. And just a few years ago  

i don’t know whether the media hyping them is the cause or result of the fanbase. I suspect it’s the result and the media is appealing to that fanbase. 

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10 minutes ago, Doc Daneeka said:

The Lakers have done something this century, though. And just a few years ago  

i don’t know whether the media hyping them is the cause or result of the fanbase. I suspect it’s the result and the media is appealing to that fanbase. 

The owner is probably the biggest reason. Doesn't matter if they are good or not, just give him/them attention.

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On 12/18/2022 at 4:44 PM, Make em eat Taco Bell said:

trying to envision a playoff scenario where Dallas can wiggle to the top. 

1. Eagles 2. Vikings 3. Niners 4. Brady Bunch .  Those are the division winners right now. 

5. Dallas 6. anyone

Round 1 would be

3. Niners vs. 6. Anyone

4. Brady Bunch at home vs. 5. Dallas

Is that correct? 

Round 2 would be 

Niners @ Vikings  (if SF wins wc)

Dallas @ Eagles

Is that correct?  

Seriously question, are you retarded?

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Super Bowls 1 - 30: Dallas has 8 appearances. 26.7% of these Super Bowls.  

Super Bowls 31 - 57: Dallas has 0 appearances. 0% of these Super Bowls.
Are enough old people passing on their following of the Cowboys for them to stay relevant when they’ve all keeled over?
When the Cowboys were in the playoffs literally every year, I get the widespread popularity. How does this clowncar manage to stay relevant when they’ve been in as many Super Bowls as the Lions, Browns, and Jets this century?

Passed on I guess. My 14 year old loves them like me. But he can tell me every player now unlike me. In the 80s and 90s if you throw out a name or number I can tell you what college he went to.
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Let’s momentarily interrupt football philosophers with some philosophy on football. The following explains Jones and the Cowboys being worth $5 billion and hugely popular, despite not winning anything important for over 25 years.

Jones and the Cowboys are the champs of “hyperreality,” the term coined in the 1980s by French philosopher Jean Baudrillard to describe key features of our 24/7 mediated world.

— If you have seen The Matrix, then you have seen a copy of Baudrillard’s most famous book, Simulacra and Simulation. Early in the film, Neo has it on a bookshelf and opens it to retrieve a some computer disks for the dude and hot chick who knocked on his door. “Knock, knock, knock…”   

“Hyperreality” is where the signs and symbols of the real have replaced the real, thus creating an artificial reality that consumers, users, fans, and followers consider superior to the real empirical reality. Hyperreality is filled with "simulacra," copies that have replaced the originals, now no longer present, needed, or perhaps even desired. In hyperreality, Jones can swagger around, preening and pretending to be a “winner” and still make bank. Of course, he is a winner at the bank, not on the field.

Keep in mind, hyperreality is not merely a “fake reality,” for it exists in many forms in our world: theme parks, hotels in Las Vegas, football stadia, virtual reality, and video games; even much of social media and conspiracy theory can be understood in terms of hyperreality. To paraphrase Baudrillard, hyperreality is more real than real, more true than true, more beautiful than beautiful. Why else gaze at screens all day? In effect, the NFL is one giant hyperreality. 

Of course, the Cowboys are simulacra for the real cowboys—who once existed and became part of American mythology—no longer present in industrialized cities like Dallas. Of course, there are still many dudes wearing big cowboy hats, big belt buckles, and big boots and driving big trucks in the big cities of the big state of Texas (and America), but they are not real cowboys. The cowboy is one of the biggest myths in American pop culture. (And "Old Gringo" is the coolest brand of Cowboy boot.)

Similarly, Jones and the Cowboys are also simulacra of winners, with all the mythic signs and symbols of winning, without winning any titles for over 25 years. Famed lone star on the helmet, swank futuristic stadium, fawning media—and loyal fans watching games on TV and dropping big bucks at the games and for caps/jerseys. For the Cowboys, winning the Super Bowl is well in the past, a feat no longer present or even possible with Jones at the helm. 

Nevertheless, the Cowboys are now worth over $5 billion, making it the most valuable sports franchise in the world. In 1989, Jones purchased the Cowboys for $140 million, which is the equivalent of about $330 million in 2022. As we all know, the Cowboys won three more Super Bowls by 1996, primarily because Jimmy Johnson built a powerhouse team. Jones and Switzer got lucky.

Since then, the Cowboys have won two playoff games and have not sniffed a Super Bowl. Of course, Jones has been the owner and general manager the entire time. Yet, despite such a colossal failure, the Cowboys franchise has skyrocketed in value all the way to the top of the sports world. The mere fact that all this has happened with a dressed up Arkansas hillbilly billionaire running the show in Big D pretty much proves the accuracy of Baudrillard's insights. 

TL/DR: 

Jerry Jones is one of the kings of The Matrix. As Morpheus said: "Welcome to the desert of the real."

Edited by BevoAbyss
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The 3rd and 10 playcall before we punted back. Noah Brown makes a very simple stop route, game over (well unless he clanks it, which is possible). Another thing, there are zero routes here that are short and underneath. Why? Oh, right. Kellen Moore baby! We have a definite DB problem but it isn't one or the other vs the WR position. Both are a huge need. Schultz is nothing more than a dorky old version of Witten. Gallup disappears a ton. Last 2 weeks, he hasn't did jack. This is the guy we went with instead of Amari. Neat. James Washington is useless. Noah Brown just proved he can't be counted on. I am not going to back and look but it seems about half of our interceptions this year was because they clanked off someone's hands that should have been an easy catch. None of our guys get separation at all and that is obvious from the All 22 tape when it's posted and reviewed. 

 

 

 

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9 hours ago, Irish Wrist Watch said:

Superbowls 31 to present... Shit coaches. That's on the team's SOS owner.

Incorrect. Parcells, McCarthy and Wade - in that order - are good to great coaches. The problem is Jerry and Jerry only. 

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2 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

The 3rd and 10 playcall before we punted back. Noah Brown makes a very simple stop route, game over (well unless he clanks it, which is possible). Another thing, there are zero routes here that are short and underneath. Why? Oh, right. Kellen Moore baby! We have a definite DB problem but it isn't one or the other vs the WR position. Both are a huge need. Schultz is nothing more than a dorky old version of Witten. Gallup disappears a ton. Last 2 weeks, he hasn't did jack. This is the guy we went with instead of Amari. Neat. James Washington is useless. Noah Brown just proved he can't be counted on. I am not going to back and look but it seems about half of our interceptions this year was because they clanked off someone's hands that should have been an easy catch. None of our guys get separation at all and that is obvious from the All 22 tape when it's posted and reviewed. 

 

 

 

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You’re a treasure Vic. And making excuses for Dak and his pic total, just like Drew. 

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Garrett 2.0519a074d72674a2a908506c7d96a03bc.jpg

This is just pure stupidity. It proves he hasn’t a clue what to do. It’s like Garrett forgetting about Felix Jones for entire games because he enjoyed watching Marion Barber selfinflict CTE on himself with 30 Carrie’s a game. At the same time It’s also on Dak to know his weapons and change his progressions. This team is too stupid to win anything of consequence.
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