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We have had 4 door to door fuckwads in the past 2 weeks, the last of whom knocked on my door at 8:15pm Monday.  Thank God I don’t have little ones,  because when the knock happens at the door, our dogs go apeshit.  

There are NO SOLICITING signs at the entries into our subdivision. I have a ‘No Soliciting’ sign prominently displayed on the front door.  These douchers still knock and act all surprised that I am..well... less than cordial.

Would it be wrong if I answered the door while holding a shotgun?  I am so done with these disrespectful motherfuckers.  And yeah, the cops are not coming out because 1) I won’t call them for suck trivialities and 2) they have told folks they cannot stop solicitation.

Edited by slorch
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I had some jehovas witnesses bang on my door one morning. Normally I wouldn't have cared, but this was a couple of weeks after my son was born. He had just fallen asleep after an entire night of staying up with him. I happened to be digging up a sewer line to my septic out back when I heard the dogs go apeshit. I walked around the house, hearing my kid now awake and screaming, and flipped my shit on them. I didn't even realize I was still carrying a pick axe. To this day I have never had another one of those people come to my door. Not once.

Edited by HOOKEM4
fuck ou
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1 minute ago, Steamboat1874 said:

I have my own solution for anyone I am not expecting knocking on my door......

I do not answer it.

Problem solved.

When they ring the bell and your kid is asleep and the dog goes apeshit ?  That's your solution ?  Let them keep ringing, and the dog barking  and your kid screaming....  That's a bold strategy Cotton.

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I have two large dogs who get vicious when someone comes to the door. I kindly walk out keeping the door cracked open behind me and warn whoever it is that they have about 5 seconds to leave before I open the door and let my dogs do whatever they want. All the while, my 100 pound German shepherd is trying to destroy my door to get to them (to get petted). 

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12 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

No you don't.

When you have a kid and value their sleep (your sanity), you tend to do things you wouldn't normally do. Hence this thread. Before, people coming to the door would be ignored. Now, I'd happily shoot them in the face. I know that my threat with my dogs is empty because my dogs sound mean as fuck but are super sweet. And if for whatever reason one of my dogs did bite, those people are trespassing and a sign on my door says no soliciting. No risk. 

Edited by SmokeyTheBear
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So here is the deal with putting up the no soliciting sign.  I learned this from on old Sales Manager of mine.

 

You are one of the rational people who put the sign up because you legitimately dont care what anyone wants or has to sell, or talk about.   You just dont care, and you dont want to be bothered- hence the No Soliciting sign being on your door.

 

The thing is, you represent about 20-25% of the ENTIRE "No Soliciting Sign" population. The other 75-80% of folks who put that sign up, do so because they learned they have no self-control.  They can be easily influenced to buy whatever the hell the person knocking on the door is selling.     So those folks use the No Soliciting sign as a shield in the hopes that it will scare away salespeople.

 

So in reality, what you have done by putting the no soliciting sign on your door, is you have told the experienced door-to-door  salespeople that there is a 75% chance you are a sucker and will buy whatever they are selling.   And if you ARE one of the 25% of folks who truely cant stand solicitors, you will make that clear within the first 10 seconds.  

 

So for a salesman who makes a living by hearing the word "NO" 1,000 times a day,    Seeing a sign that implies they will either "waste' just 10-15 seconds and get an angry no, or they get a sucker who may be pre-desposed to buying things.....   they are going to knock on your door just about everytime to take that chance, and I am pretty sure their managers expressly tell their sales teams to knock on a No Soliciting door. Every. Single. Time.

 

 

 

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@slorch - Do you have "no trespassing" signs?  Cops should arrest people for trespassing, but honestly, I wouldn't recommend calling the cops for that as you are as likely to get shot as the solicitors.

But to answer your question, hell yeah, answer the door with a shotgun in hand if you feel like it.  Just don't point it at anyone unless you intend to shoot.

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My folks live on 3 acres and the house is a good 75 yards from the street down a winding gravel drive.  You can't see the house from the street so they don't get too many unexpected visitors.  They had a red heeler named Buster that pretty much roamed free.  He never bit anyone but he was pretty damned scary if you didn't know him.  One day my dad heard him out in the driveway barking and growling for a few minutes so he went and looked out the window.  Buster had 3 Jehovah's Witnesses standing back to back in a triangle while he slowly circled them barking and growling.  After he stopped laughing he opened the door and told them to run when they got a chance and he called Buster.  Buster came to the house and the last he saw of them they were shagging ass down the drive, ties flying behind them.  I wish we had cell phone cameras back then.

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I am honestly about 99.99999999999% sure I will never answer the door with a gun, but given the hour and goofy crap being pulled in society lately- it definitely crosses my mind.I just want to be left alone in my own home.  Why don’t these assholes respect that.

Do I really have to post ‘no trespassing’ signs for people to know they are in my freaking space?  It ain’t a gotdam public park.

 

just leave me the fuck alone.  Ok?  I don’t mess with other people...just expecting the same.

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3 minutes ago, Underdog said:

We just don’t answer the door, they usually just ring once and then leave.  

Why do they have to ring, when it plainly says on the door I do not want their business?

They could be selling Bud Lights for a dime and I still wouldn’t buy them.

Edited by slorch
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50 minutes ago, bernorange said:

@slorch - Do you have "no trespassing" signs?  Cops should arrest people for trespassing, but honestly, I wouldn't recommend calling the cops for that as you are as likely to get shot as the solicitors.

9

{giving}  But ... but.... what if they're black ? Or worse you're black ?!  {D. Dennison a boner}

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1 hour ago, SmokeyTheBear said:

When you have a kid and value their sleep (your sanity), you tend to do things you wouldn't normally do. Hence this thread. Before, people coming to the door would be ignored. Now, I'd happily shoot them in the face. I know that my threat with my dogs is empty because my dogs sound mean as fuck but are super sweet. And if for whatever reason one of my dogs did bite, those people are trespassing and a sign on my door says no soliciting. No risk. 

Until your insurance company says you have a 'high risk dog' and doesn't pay a claim. 

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Vivint or some other kind of security system/smart home is an option. Works well for me. They ring my doorbell, I see them on my cameras, push the mic button and tell them to fuck off without ever opening the door. People behave differently when they realize they're being recorded the entire time they're on your property. Tend to stay away after as well. It's pretty convenient.

Edited by NaTeWHO
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1 hour ago, slorch said:

I am honestly about 99.99999999999% sure I will never answer the door with a gun, but given the hour and goofy crap being pulled in society lately- it definitely crosses my mind.I just want to be left alone in my own home.  Why don’t these assholes respect that.

Do I really have to post ‘no trespassing’ signs for people to know they are in my freaking space?  It ain’t a gotdam public park.

 

just leave me the fuck alone.  Ok?  I don’t mess with other people...just expecting the same.

Just answer the door in your underwear.  

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3 hours ago, HOOKEM4 said:

I had some jehovas witnesses bang on my door one morning. Normally I wouldn't have cared, but this was a couple of weeks after my son was born. He had just fallen asleep after an entire night of staying up with him. I happened to be digging up a sewer line to my septic out back when I heard the dogs go apeshit. I walked around the house, hearing my kid now awake and screaming, and flipped my shit on them. I didn't even realize I was still carrying a pick axe. To this day I have never had another one of those people come to my door. Not once.

So?  You converted?

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4 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

So here is the deal with putting up the no soliciting sign.  I learned this from on old Sales Manager of mine.

 

You are one of the rational people who put the sign up because you legitimately dont care what anyone wants or has to sell, or talk about.   You just dont care, and you dont want to be bothered- hence the No Soliciting sign being on your door.

 

The thing is, you represent about 20-25% of the ENTIRE "No Soliciting Sign" population. The other 75-80% of folks who put that sign up, do so because they learned they have no self-control.  They can be easily influenced to buy whatever the hell the person knocking on the door is selling.     So those folks use the No Soliciting sign as a shield in the hopes that it will scare away salespeople.

 

So in reality, what you have done by putting the no soliciting sign on your door, is you have told the experienced door-to-door  salespeople that there is a 75% chance you are a sucker and will buy whatever they are selling.   And if you ARE one of the 25% of folks who truely cant stand solicitors, you will make that clear within the first 10 seconds.  

 

So for a salesman who makes a living by hearing the word "NO" 1,000 times a day,    Seeing a sign that implies they will either "waste' just 10-15 seconds and get an angry no, or they get a sucker who may be pre-desposed to buying things.....   they are going to knock on your door just about everytime to take that chance, and I am pretty sure their managers expressly tell their sales teams to knock on a No Soliciting door. Every. Single. Time.

 

 

 

All of this. 

I'm almost certain that I posted this same notion at the old place, and I'm only slightly less certain that it was also in direct response to Slorch's airing of grievances. 

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4 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

So here is the deal with putting up the no soliciting sign.  I learned this from on old Sales Manager of mine.

 

You are one of the rational people who put the sign up because you legitimately dont care what anyone wants or has to sell, or talk about.   You just dont care, and you dont want to be bothered- hence the No Soliciting sign being on your door.

 

The thing is, you represent about 20-25% of the ENTIRE "No Soliciting Sign" population. The other 75-80% of folks who put that sign up, do so because they learned they have no self-control.  They can be easily influenced to buy whatever the hell the person knocking on the door is selling.     So those folks use the No Soliciting sign as a shield in the hopes that it will scare away salespeople.

 

So in reality, what you have done by putting the no soliciting sign on your door, is you have told the experienced door-to-door  salespeople that there is a 75% chance you are a sucker and will buy whatever they are selling.   And if you ARE one of the 25% of folks who truely cant stand solicitors, you will make that clear within the first 10 seconds.  

 

So for a salesman who makes a living by hearing the word "NO" 1,000 times a day,    Seeing a sign that implies they will either "waste' just 10-15 seconds and get an angry no, or they get a sucker who may be pre-desposed to buying things.....   they are going to knock on your door just about everytime to take that chance, and I am pretty sure their managers expressly tell their sales teams to knock on a No Soliciting door. Every. Single. Time.

 

 

 

So yes on the gun. oK.

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We lived way out in the country growing up.  But the JH's started coming out every damn Saturday early.  It sucked.  One Friday, my little brother strung some "police line" tape around our front porch and did one of those little "this is where the body was" silhouettes like you see in the movies right by the front door.  They never came back.  

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35 minutes ago, Chad Fuck said:

We lived way out in the country growing up.  But the JH's started coming out every damn Saturday early.  It sucked.  One Friday, my little brother strung some "police line" tape around our front porch and did one of those little "this is where the body was" silhouettes like you see in the movies right by the front door.  They never came back.  

You just gave me a great idea. 

Luckily I have a few spent shell casings and some chalk lying around.  That may be my Saturday morning plan.  

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