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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


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31 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Like @Reagan1k, I'm not sure where else to put this, and I need to vent.

I've written extensively about how unbelievably useless and lazy my SIL is.  Working from home as a pharmacist was too much for her.  After realizing that walking from her bedroom to her office to answer prescription calls was "just too much", she found a doctor willing to diagnose her with some sort of throat problem that "prevents" her from talking.  Anyone that's every been around her knows this is bullshit.  So, she has been on some disability/ADA thing where she doesn't have to work, but still gets paid.  This has been going on for 3 years now.  She's sits on her ass and eats all day.  She's got to be pushing 350 at this point.  And, she complains about everything.  

Since she lives only a mile away AND refuses to do anything social (i.e. no friends), my wife feels obligated to bring her along to anything we do.  We're staying at a Disney resort with friends at the moment.  SIL shows up last night just in time for dinner.  She bitched at my autistic son multiple times, complained about her drink, complained about her food, then blamed my wife when she didn't like her food (did I mention the 350 lbs?).  Oh, and we paid for her meal.  Get back to the room, and it just so happens she ends up in the bed next to our's, snoring all night.  

We have been planning this trip for 3 years.  My wife and I have worked extra jobs (tutoring, training, etc...) so that we could enjoy the hell out of this trip.  And now???  It's kind of funny because my wife and I are currently playing the game where she's avoiding eye contact with me because she knows I'm about to blow up.

Anyway, thanks for listening and sorry for the lack of humor.

Bitched at or about your autistic son?  She’s lucky she’s alive. 
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On 6/26/2022 at 8:47 AM, Scheiss Meister said:

There are two things that I have to explain to my wife three times every baseball season: contact with the ball is not a hit, and "four foul balls you're out" is not the rule in college or pro ball.  At the beginning of the college season, then again around the CWS or All Star Game, then again during the playoffs.  Every year.  Without fail.  At least she's watching baseball with me, which is nice.

More likely that she’s watching Pinterest/FB/IG and “listening” to baseball

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36 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Like @Reagan1k, I'm not sure where else to put this, and I need to vent.

I've written extensively about how unbelievably useless and lazy my SIL is.  Working from home as a pharmacist was too much for her.  After realizing that walking from her bedroom to her office to answer prescription calls was "just too much", she found a doctor willing to diagnose her with some sort of throat problem that "prevents" her from talking.  Anyone that's every been around her knows this is bullshit.  So, she has been on some disability/ADA thing where she doesn't have to work, but still gets paid.  This has been going on for 3 years now.  She's sits on her ass and eats all day.  She's got to be pushing 350 at this point.  And, she complains about everything.  

Since she lives only a mile away AND refuses to do anything social (i.e. no friends), my wife feels obligated to bring her along to anything we do.  We're staying at a Disney resort with friends at the moment.  SIL shows up last night just in time for dinner.  She bitched at my autistic son multiple times, complained about her drink, complained about her food, then blamed my wife when she didn't like her food (did I mention the 350 lbs?).  Oh, and we paid for her meal.  Get back to the room, and it just so happens she ends up in the bed next to our's, snoring all night.  

We have been planning this trip for 3 years.  My wife and I have worked extra jobs (tutoring, training, etc...) so that we could enjoy the hell out of this trip.  And now???  It's kind of funny because my wife and I are currently playing the game where she's avoiding eye contact with me because she knows I'm about to blow up.

Anyway, thanks for listening and sorry for the lack of humor.

Next time, make her a drink with some arsenic in it.   

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54 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Like @Reagan1k, I'm not sure where else to put this, and I need to vent.

I've written extensively about how unbelievably useless and lazy my SIL is.  Working from home as a pharmacist was too much for her.  After realizing that walking from her bedroom to her office to answer prescription calls was "just too much", she found a doctor willing to diagnose her with some sort of throat problem that "prevents" her from talking.  Anyone that's every been around her knows this is bullshit.  So, she has been on some disability/ADA thing where she doesn't have to work, but still gets paid.  This has been going on for 3 years now.  She's sits on her ass and eats all day.  She's got to be pushing 350 at this point.  And, she complains about everything.  

Since she lives only a mile away AND refuses to do anything social (i.e. no friends), my wife feels obligated to bring her along to anything we do.  We're staying at a Disney resort with friends at the moment.  SIL shows up last night just in time for dinner.  She bitched at my autistic son multiple times, complained about her drink, complained about her food, then blamed my wife when she didn't like her food (did I mention the 350 lbs?).  Oh, and we paid for her meal.  Get back to the room, and it just so happens she ends up in the bed next to our's, snoring all night.  

We have been planning this trip for 3 years.  My wife and I have worked extra jobs (tutoring, training, etc...) so that we could enjoy the hell out of this trip.  And now???  It's kind of funny because my wife and I are currently playing the game where she's avoiding eye contact with me because she knows I'm about to blow up.

Anyway, thanks for listening and sorry for the lack of humor.

how was the threesome?

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1 hour ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Like @Reagan1k, I'm not sure where else to put this, and I need to vent.

I've written extensively about how unbelievably useless and lazy my SIL is.  Working from home as a pharmacist was too much for her.  After realizing that walking from her bedroom to her office to answer prescription calls was "just too much", she found a doctor willing to diagnose her with some sort of throat problem that "prevents" her from talking.  Anyone that's every been around her knows this is bullshit.  So, she has been on some disability/ADA thing where she doesn't have to work, but still gets paid.  This has been going on for 3 years now.  She's sits on her ass and eats all day.  She's got to be pushing 350 at this point.  And, she complains about everything.  

Since she lives only a mile away AND refuses to do anything social (i.e. no friends), my wife feels obligated to bring her along to anything we do.  We're staying at a Disney resort with friends at the moment.  SIL shows up last night just in time for dinner.  She bitched at my autistic son multiple times, complained about her drink, complained about her food, then blamed my wife when she didn't like her food (did I mention the 350 lbs?).  Oh, and we paid for her meal.  Get back to the room, and it just so happens she ends up in the bed next to our's, snoring all night.  

We have been planning this trip for 3 years.  My wife and I have worked extra jobs (tutoring, training, etc...) so that we could enjoy the hell out of this trip.  And now???  It's kind of funny because my wife and I are currently playing the game where she's avoiding eye contact with me because she knows I'm about to blow up.

Anyway, thanks for listening and sorry for the lack of humor.

Are you kidding me? This is hilarious. I am laughing out loud.

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20 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

She called today to tell us that on our upcoming trip to see her, she wants me to sit in on the “2nd interview”.  She’s “interviewed” him once but wants a follow-up with me there.  The fact that he’s good enough for a landscape architect isn’t enough.

I’m not sure what her interrogation methods will be and how far into his history we’ll dig, but I’m sure she’ll start any wage offer at somewhere below the net cost of the gas required to run the mower.

What finishing school did he attend?

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On 6/26/2022 at 8:47 AM, Scheiss Meister said:

There are two things that I have to explain to my wife three times every baseball season: contact with the ball is not a hit, and "four foul balls you're out" is not the rule in college or pro ball.  At the beginning of the college season, then again around the CWS or All Star Game, then again during the playoffs.  Every year.  Without fail.  At least she's watching baseball with me, which is nice.

My wife doesn't watch football unless we're @ a Longhorns game.

Probably 1x per season I get to have a version of this conversation: "Why are we punting?  Don't we get 4 chances first?"

Me:  "That's a TOTAL of 4 downs.  the punt isn't "If you don't get enough yardage on 4 tries.  The punt is also not required, it's optional."

Her:  "No, I think you HAVE to, but it should be 4 tries than the kick thing."

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No where else to put this….
My MIL - Her yard man is missing in action.  She’s pissed.  He hasn’t returned calls or texts in 3 weeks.  Odds are currently even that he’s a) died or b) ghosting her bc she’s a miser and probably hasn’t ever paid him a reasonable wage and he’s had it.
She’s treating it like a class B felony and doesn’t know how he sleeps at night bla bla bla. 
MIL asked her neighbor (a licensed landscape architect) for a recommendation and he referred her to his guy who has been doing the architect’s yard for 10 years.
She called today to tell us that on our upcoming trip to see her, she wants me to sit in on the “2nd interview”.  She’s “interviewed” him once but wants a follow-up with me there.  The fact that he’s good enough for a landscape architect isn’t enough.
I’m not sure what her interrogation methods will be and how far into his history we’ll dig, but I’m sure she’ll start any wage offer at somewhere below the net cost of the gas required to run the mower.

 

This was an awesome contribution. I keep thinking about it throughout the day. Please update after the second interview.
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10 minutes ago, ROFL BOX said:

My wife doesn't watch football unless we're @ a Longhorns game.

Probably 1x per season I get to have a version of this conversation: "Why are we punting?  Don't we get 4 chances first?"

Me:  "That's a TOTAL of 4 downs.  the punt isn't "If you don't get enough yardage on 4 tries.  The punt is also not required, it's optional."

Her:  "No, I think you HAVE to, but it should be 4 tries than the kick thing."

I'm so glad my wife is sports knowledgeable.  I HATE having to explain sports stuff to people other than my kids.

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It's odd to me how sibllngs, raised by the same people, in the same house, with the same rules can be so different.  @Jameslaw121 and I are somewhat similar, but our middle brother may as well be an alien, we're so different.

My wife is 5'8", 120 lbs, and would cut off an arm if someone needed it.  Her sis is over 350 lbs, whiny and lazy.  They're only a couple of years apart.

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9 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

It's odd to me how sibllngs, raised by the same people, in the same house, with the same rules can be so different.  @Jameslaw121 and I are somewhat similar, but our middle brother may as well be an alien, we're so different.

 

My brother & I are very divergent as well.  I'm handsome, charming & he... well, it's his way or the highway.  Plus, he's ugly as shoe leather.

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I'm on day 3 of helping my mom move. Debating between blowing my own brains out or taking her with me. 

Without consulting me she reserved a 15' moving truck. For a 3 bed/2 bath duplex. Thankfully we were able to change it to a 20'. Which is still too small but at least workable. 

Obviously there's all kinds of other shit. If this was someone I was married to I think someone would be getting stabbed. 

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I'm on day 3 of helping my mom move. Debating between blowing my own brains out or taking her with me. 
Without consulting me she reserved a 15' moving truck. For a 3 bed/2 bath duplex. Thankfully we were able to change it to a 20'. Which is still too small but at least workable. 
Obviously there's all kinds of other shit. If this was someone I was married to I think someone would be getting stabbed. 

Hire movers.
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1 minute ago, tigol said:


Hire movers.

Oh don't even get me started on how that plan somehow managed to fall through. I have had some help from my younger brother but he's mostly useless. 

Btw - obviously you can make multiple trips with a smaller truck. But there is a gap between when she needs to be out of her current place and when she can move into the new one. So we are using the truck as de facto storage for a day. 

I should have gotten involved in the logistics much earlier.

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15 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Yep. If you can pay taxes, you can hire movers. 

I haven't moved my own stuff, or helped someone move, since college.  Once we all graduated and got real jobs, any requests for help moving are met with a $20 contribution from me, toward them hiring a mover.  I also reserve the right to sit in their lawn and drink beer and laugh and point at them, if they still make the incorrect decision to move themselves.

 

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20 minutes ago, utee94 said:

I haven't moved my own stuff, or helped someone move, since college.  Once we all graduated and got real jobs, any requests for help moving are met with a $20 contribution from me, toward them hiring a mover.  I also reserve the right to sit in their lawn and drink beer and laugh and point at them, if they still make the incorrect decision to move themselves.

 

All requests for moving are usually thrown back into offers to help pack or unpack.  But I sure as shit am not carrying your junk for you. 

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5 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Like @Reagan1k, I'm not sure where else to put this, and I need to vent.

I've written extensively about how unbelievably useless and lazy my SIL is.  Working from home as a pharmacist was too much for her.  After realizing that walking from her bedroom to her office to answer prescription calls was "just too much", she found a doctor willing to diagnose her with some sort of throat problem that "prevents" her from talking.  Anyone that's every been around her knows this is bullshit.  So, she has been on some disability/ADA thing where she doesn't have to work, but still gets paid.  This has been going on for 3 years now.  She's sits on her ass and eats all day.  She's got to be pushing 350 at this point.  And, she complains about everything.  

Since she lives only a mile away AND refuses to do anything social (i.e. no friends), my wife feels obligated to bring her along to anything we do.  We're staying at a Disney resort with friends at the moment.  SIL shows up last night just in time for dinner.  She bitched at my autistic son multiple times, complained about her drink, complained about her food, then blamed my wife when she didn't like her food (did I mention the 350 lbs?).  Oh, and we paid for her meal.  Get back to the room, and it just so happens she ends up in the bed next to our's, snoring all night.  

We have been planning this trip for 3 years.  My wife and I have worked extra jobs (tutoring, training, etc...) so that we could enjoy the hell out of this trip.  And now???  It's kind of funny because my wife and I are currently playing the game where she's avoiding eye contact with me because she knows I'm about to blow up.

Anyway, thanks for listening and sorry for the lack of humor.

Have you ever just absolutely and without restraint, gone off on her (the SIL)?

If not, it may be time.  Your wife will understand.

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Just now, TrashMaster G said:

Have you ever just absolutely and without restraint, gone off on her (the SIL)?

If not, it may be time.  Your wife will understand.

I just feel like it's not my job and would only make things worse.  If, for example, one of my brothers pissed off my wife, I'd be the buffer to handle it.  My brothers are cool and work their respectivel asses off, so any minor grievences are easier to handle.  With my SIL, everything is magnified due to her few redeeming qualities.

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6 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Like @Reagan1k, I'm not sure where else to put this, and I need to vent.

I've written extensively about how unbelievably useless and lazy my SIL is.  Working from home as a pharmacist was too much for her.  After realizing that walking from her bedroom to her office to answer prescription calls was "just too much", she found a doctor willing to diagnose her with some sort of throat problem that "prevents" her from talking.  Anyone that's every been around her knows this is bullshit.  So, she has been on some disability/ADA thing where she doesn't have to work, but still gets paid.  This has been going on for 3 years now.  She's sits on her ass and eats all day.  She's got to be pushing 350 at this point.  And, she complains about everything.  

Since she lives only a mile away AND refuses to do anything social (i.e. no friends), my wife feels obligated to bring her along to anything we do.  We're staying at a Disney resort with friends at the moment.  SIL shows up last night just in time for dinner.  She bitched at my autistic son multiple times, complained about her drink, complained about her food, then blamed my wife when she didn't like her food (did I mention the 350 lbs?).  Oh, and we paid for her meal.  Get back to the room, and it just so happens she ends up in the bed next to our's, snoring all night.  

We have been planning this trip for 3 years.  My wife and I have worked extra jobs (tutoring, training, etc...) so that we could enjoy the hell out of this trip.  And now???  It's kind of funny because my wife and I are currently playing the game where she's avoiding eye contact with me because she knows I'm about to blow up.

Anyway, thanks for listening and sorry for the lack of humor.

Best of luck Knox.

I've got to ask...work from home pharmacist?  How The heck does that work?

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6 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Best of luck Knox.

I've got to ask...work from home pharmacist?  How The heck does that work?

Just guessing, but probably a mail-order and/or specialty pharmacy like OptumRx.

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10 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Best of luck Knox.

I've got to ask...work from home pharmacist?  How The heck does that work?

I think it had something to do with the olds calling to ask questions about their prescrips.  I'm not entirely sure.  She called in so often with her fake illnesses, they finally offered to let her work from home.  That was still too difficult, so she got "diagnosed" with a "throat condition" which forbid her from being able to talk on a headset.  Yes, I'm completely serious.  In addition to scamming the system and screwing those that might actually need it, it pissed me off because she would come over on football Saturdays and yap the entire day.  

Quick update.  She was pissed this morning because her Fitbit wouldn't work.  I asked my wife what in the holy hell she would ever need a Fitbit for which actually caused some laughter.

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35 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

I just feel like it's not my job and would only make things worse.  If, for example, one of my brothers pissed off my wife, I'd be the buffer to handle it.  My brothers are cool and work their respectivel asses off, so any minor grievences are easier to handle.  With my SIL, everything is magnified due to her few redeeming qualities.

Understood.  The difference here, as I see it, is that her being a miserable twat is on your dime now and impacting your vacation.

Restraint may be overrated.  But, go with god and be well.

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1 hour ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

I just feel like it's not my job and would only make things worse.  If, for example, one of my brothers pissed off my wife, I'd be the buffer to handle it.  My brothers are cool and work their respectivel asses off, so any minor grievences are easier to handle.  With my SIL, everything is magnified due to her few redeeming qualities.

Apples and oranges here.  You would be the buffer here between your brothers.  Understood.  Your brothers are cool.  Your wife is not being the buffer here.  Your SIL is not cool.  Rip the leach off or otherwise the parasite will suck you dry.

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3 minutes ago, mininghorn88 said:

Apples and oranges here.  You would be the buffer here between your brothers.  Understood.  Your brothers are cool.  Your wife is not being the buffer here.  Your SIL is not cool.  Rip the leach off or otherwise the parasite will suck you dry.

Yeah, that's what I see.  With my brothers, I would crack back at them to get their shit together.  From what I have seen, most sisters don't do this.  And maybe @Knoxtnhorn's wife carries some guilt over being in a much better place than her sister.  I get that, I guess.  As @mininghorn88 says, she's not being the buffer, so who is left to correct the SIL's behavior?

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One minor correction.  We're not paying for her trip.  We just included her in the dinner tab last night because it was easier than trying to separate checks. 

My wife is very argument-averse unless it's absolutely necessary.  A few years ago, her mom moved in with us temporarily until she could get back on her feet.  After realizing that my MIL wasn't even trying to get a job after a couple of months, my wife kicked her own mom out of the house.  So, it's there, but only as a last resort.

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2 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

I just feel like it's not my job and would only make things worse.  If, for example, one of my brothers pissed off my wife, I'd be the buffer to handle it.  My brothers are cool and work their respectivel asses off, so any minor grievences are easier to handle.  With my SIL, everything is magnified due to her few redeeming qualities.

Yeah - your youngest brother is cool as fuck.

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One minor correction.  We're not paying for her trip.  We just included her in the dinner tab last night because it was easier than trying to separate checks. 
My wife is very argument-averse unless it's absolutely necessary.  A few years ago, her mom moved in with us temporarily until she could get back on her feet.  After realizing that my MIL wasn't even trying to get a job after a couple of months, my wife kicked her own mom out of the house.  So, it's there, but only as a last resort.

SIL has crossed the line into it now being absolutely necessary.
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20 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

Yeah @Reagan1k I wanna know how the 2nd interview went too.

Interview is scheduled for 3 weeks from now when I make a Batan style march across the country for the visit.  In the meantime, a neighbor is doing the bare basics as a gesture of goodwill.  I can’t wait until she wants to backcharge his ass for something he did “wrong”.

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"If you prepare the turkey burgers and the onions I will cook them. But make sure the burgers are really thin"

Okay.

"One of them fell apart because it was too thin and fell through the grates. Why did you do it so thin?"

Okay again.

It's a gas grill. Grab the grate with a wrench or I can and pull it out.

Nope it's dirty now.

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27 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Final update on SIL.

We moved her to the living room and took the 3 kids.  We traded 3 yappy kids that don't like to sleep for a grown-ass adult that complains and snores.  Win.

I could write quite a bit about all the things she did to somewhat ruin the vacation, but I'll pick two.

We were at Hollywood Studios.  We needed to get from one side of the park to the other as we had reservations for Tower of Terror.  I was in the lead with the kids.  We kept having to stop and wait for SIL.  At one point, she completely disappeared.  After several calls, my wife finally got hold of her to find out she didn't really want to ride ToT.  We found her on the way back, sitting at a table, with two plates of food.  She decided to fly all the way to Orlando to ... eat.  

She loaned my son a cooling towel while we waited in line for a ride.  He accidentally left the plastic carrying bag for the towel on the ride.  She began to berate him about being irresponsible.  This is when I finally lost it.  You've got to understand my 15 year-old is the perfect kid - 4.0 GPA, never raises his voice, never does anything wrong.  I told him not to worry about it and that, "Losing a replaceable plastic bag is far less irresponsible than, say, NOT FUCKING WORKING!".  I have no idea how much of this she heard; however, from this point on, the group kind of just left her to herself.  At least my wife was on board.

 

We should cook out at your house when you get back. I'll text your SIL

 

giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e478xqt6unnsqy1v33u85

 

 

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