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2020 Coaching Staff


DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt

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6 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

I’ll take whoever is willing to sign on the dotted line at this point.

 

4 minutes ago, Beef said:

At least it’s not Orlando. Any warm body will due.

 

Really you two?  Be careful or this could happen... Get on the 🚂

vance-bedford.jpg

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1 hour ago, Dbeasy said:

 


I don’t have a complete list but the Del Valley Youth football league Bumblebees have an open slot for a DC. Whoever fills the slot must also bring juice boxes to the game.

 

Certainly I’m not the only one who thinks “that’s what she said” any time there is discussion about opened or filled slots.

Insert joke about South Austin’s mom in this slot.  

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I was watching the heisman ceremony last night & Coach O mentioned the 3 & 17 play as the defining moment of LSU’s season. It really pissed me off. The talent on our roster was enough to win big this year. We shouldn’t have lost that game to LSU. We definitely shouldn’t have lost to Oklahoma. This season was just a big fucking tornado of poor coaching, injuries caused by poor coaching, locker room drama, etc. Herman just stood by and let that shit play out, no adjustments. I’m flabbergasted. I’m stunned. Motherfucker, we’re in the Alamo bowl about to play fucking Utah. Ima cry

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This thread continues to be an interesting read in sort of the mindless beach fiction kind of way. Factions are starting to emerge quite clearly around Ash being quite the guy because allegedly OSU sniffed at him and because ... Herman.

Then there is another faction that hates the concept of this hire because Ash fucking blows and it’s more reinforcement of Herman’s ongoing pathetic bullshit with personnel handling. Put me firmly in the latter group.

Hiring Ash will be a continuation of the ongoing failure of this regime. Is there a deadcat bounce for a year? Maybe. I’m sure we’ll look better until some of the high octane offenses depants us. Regime apologists will preach the importance of giving things time and asking for a benefit of the doubt when none is merited, and we’ll get to continue to wander in the wilderness.

Anyway, what do you guys think the actual IQ of Chris Ash is? I’m guessing it hovers around 80. I bet he frequently struggles with the names of those around him; has frequent bouts of pure rage in which he beats his fucking meathead against lockers until they’re dented; and puts a game plan together by throwing all of his playbook pages on the floor, taking a shit on them, wallowing in it, and keeping all of the pages that stick to him when he gets up. 

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4 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

This thread continues to be an interesting read in sort of the mindless beach fiction kind of way. Factions are starting to emerge quite clearly around Ash being quite the guy because allegedly OSU sniffed at him and because ... Herman.

Then there is another faction that hates the concept of this hire because Ash fucking blows and it’s more reinforcement of Herman’s ongoing pathetic bullshit with personnel handling. Put me firmly in the latter group.

Hiring Ash will be a continuation of the ongoing failure of this regime. Is there a deadcat bounce for a year? Maybe. I’m sure we’ll look better until some of the high octane offenses depants us. Regime apologists will preach the importance of giving things time and asking for a benefit of the doubt when none is merited, and we’ll get to continue to wander in the wilderness.

Anyway, what do you guys think the actual IQ of Chris Ash is? I’m guessing it hovers around 80. I bet he frequently struggles with the names of those around him; has frequent bouts of pure rage in which he beats his fucking meathead against lockers until they’re dented; and puts a game plan together by throwing all of his playbook pages on the floor, taking a shit on them, wallowing in it, and keeping all of the pages that stick to him when he gets up. 

Hopefully, he’s just dumb enough to realize football is a game and when you have superior athletes you can clown most teams with great fundamentals.  I hope.

 

the shawshank redemption life GIF

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3 minutes ago, trythisathome said:

Shit on Vance all you want, but he is an elite Twitter follow 

Yeah, while we wait for the hiring of the new DC and OC at Texas, we might as well warm up this thread with more humor.

Stumbled into this gem as a possible new OC candidate...         /s

Great work @TreatyOak,

Scrooge-Fisher.jpg

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18 minutes ago, CastHorn said:

I was watching the heisman ceremony last night & Coach O mentioned the 3 & 17 play as the defining moment of LSU’s season. It really pissed me off.

2 plays defined our season.  Ingram's drop and 3rd & 17.

It's real simple for Therm.  Somehow figure out how to win in redstick, or beat 0u.  Lose to both and it's pitchforks, torches, tar and feathers.

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Not sure anyone is surprised. Tom advanced pretty quickly in his career before taking on one of the largest head coaching gigs in sports. He doesn't have a far reaching network, Ash is a comfort hire without needing any dissection into the decision. I'll just reserve judgement to see how we perform.

Hopefully this means we've had OC covered for a while and are just waiting to reveal. 

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This thread continues to be an interesting read in sort of the mindless beach fiction kind of way. Factions are starting to emerge quite clearly around Ash being quite the guy because allegedly OSU sniffed at him and because ... Herman.
Then there is another faction that hates the concept of this hire because Ash fucking blows and it’s more reinforcement of Herman’s ongoing pathetic bullshit with personnel handling. Put me firmly in the latter group.
Hiring Ash will be a continuation of the ongoing failure of this regime. Is there a deadcat bounce for a year? Maybe. I’m sure we’ll look better until some of the high octane offenses depants us. Regime apologists will preach the importance of giving things time and asking for a benefit of the doubt when none is merited, and we’ll get to continue to wander in the wilderness.
Anyway, what do you guys think the actual IQ of Chris Ash is? I’m guessing it hovers around 80. I bet he frequently struggles with the names of those around him; has frequent bouts of pure rage in which he beats his fucking meathead against lockers until they’re dented; and puts a game plan together by throwing all of his playbook pages on the floor, taking a shit on them, wallowing in it, and keeping all of the pages that stick to him when he gets up. 


You completely left out the third faction of which I am firmly entrenched - waffling milquetoasts who refuse to take a stand on Ash so that we can completely preserve our “I told you so’s” for 12 months from now when he either leads us to the playoffs or crashes and burns worse than jerseyman10 at a South Austin strip club.
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Is the 24/7 board Bucknuts full of fucknuts? That was the only tOSU forum name I could remember, so I just went there to see if the couch crowd had an Ashy opinion since they are also looking, and it seems many actually view him favorably (the first guy says “Fuck Ash,” but keep reading).

But again, the site may be populated with even dumber assholes than us 😀

https://247sports.com/college/ohio-state/board/120/Contents/hot-board-the-search-for-hafleys-replacement-at-ohio-state-140516457/

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4 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

Is the 24/7 board Bucknuts full of fucknuts? That was the only tOSU forum name I could remember, so I just went there to see if the couch crowd had an Ashy opinion since they are also looking, and it seems many actually view him favorably (the first guy says “Fuck Ash,” but keep reading).

But again, the site may be populated with even dumber assholes than us 😀

https://247sports.com/college/ohio-state/board/120/Contents/hot-board-the-search-for-hafleys-replacement-at-ohio-state-140516457/

Looks like tosu fans really want ash 

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15 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

This thread continues to be an interesting read in sort of the mindless beach fiction kind of way. Factions are starting to emerge quite clearly around Ash being quite the guy because allegedly OSU sniffed at him and because ... Herman.

Then there is another faction that hates the concept of this hire because Ash fucking blows and it’s more reinforcement of Herman’s ongoing pathetic bullshit with personnel handling. Put me firmly in the latter group.

Hiring Ash will be a continuation of the ongoing failure of this regime. Is there a deadcat bounce for a year? Maybe. I’m sure we’ll look better until some of the high octane offenses depants us. Regime apologists will preach the importance of giving things time and asking for a benefit of the doubt when none is merited, and we’ll get to continue to wander in the wilderness.

Anyway, what do you guys think the actual IQ of Chris Ash is? I’m guessing it hovers around 80. I bet he frequently struggles with the names of those around him; has frequent bouts of pure rage in which he beats his fucking meathead against lockers until they’re dented; and puts a game plan together by throwing all of his playbook pages on the floor, taking a shit on them, wallowing in it, and keeping all of the pages that stick to him when he gets up. 

You will get Ash and Lash and like it because coach fuckhole says so.  You're probably spot on about Ash though, sort of a Michael Knight, Rex, Sydney carton Mr. potato head kit.  

We will improve as our 2018 class matures another year before they bolt for the various exits, the question is how high will that cat bounce?  Will it be high enough that we have to endure another year before the inevitable?  

At this point my biggest concern is he stumblefucks his way into 9-3/10-2 in perpetuity, with our MNC hopes effectively vaporized by the 2nd week, every fucking season.  

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8 minutes ago, fellside said:

I get the takes about this being a comfort hire.  Can someone explain why we think Ash is a bad defensive coordinator?

I’m not sure anyone has said he’s a bad DC (shitty head coach and maybe a prick, yes), but some wonder if his concepts translate well to defend Big 12 offenses. I believe Burt Macklin has written extensively on the subject, perhaps you can search for his earlier posts.

Edited by Vito Andolini
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well. Tom Herman will either win big next year or he and his entire trash staff will be fucking fired. That’s the only consolation and peace of mind to be had for this clownshow of a hire. Herman had exhausted his good will with boosters before this, and now he’s pissed in the face of every fan and booster who told him exactly not what to do here. 

I’m not so sure he didn’t actually try to interview other guys and got laughed into his face because he’s insufferable prick with a terrible reputation. But he probably just avoided that indignity by attempting to just gaslight the entire fanbase  in favor of Ash. I look forward to the communications coming out of the Athletic Department next week that we beat Ohio State for this roided up dipshit. Pathetic but I’m not surprised, so whatever. 
 

here’s to an exciting HC hire coaching his first game at DKR when we debut the south end zone in 2021. 

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15 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

That considered, there is not a single thing to point to with this hire that points to the best guy out there getting the offer. There were no leaks on other names because there were no other interviews. Odom and Scalley were thrown out to look like work was being done. Not a single NFL staffer was researched. This has every hallmark of a sham hire by a fucking fraud of a HC. 

May see ohio state look towards NFL for their next hire...

https://247sports.com/college/ohio-state/ContentGallery/Ohio-State-Buckeyes-football-Hot-Board-the-search-for-Hafleys-replacement-at-Ohio-State-140516457/#140516457_1

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4 minutes ago, Treefidy said:

At this point my biggest concern is he stumblefucks his way into 9-3/10-2 in perpetuity, with our MNC hopes effectively vaporized by the 2nd week, every fucking season.  

You don’t know TH. He’ll get the team to play up to our week2 opponents and win a few of those slugfests.

But those MNC hopes will vaporize in week8 or week9 when we drop a game to the likes of a 5-7 big12 also-ran. 

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