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Halloween bullshit


Prepuce of Doom

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am i crazy or are the elementary kids trying to trick or treat earlier now?  we generally shut down our block as we get a large influx of traveling trick or treaters (cars tying to drive down the street with tons of kiddos is no bueno) but they blocked it off at 4pm and the bulk of the kids on the block came around at 4:30pm.  At least let the sun think about setting ffs.  

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1 hour ago, gyroprotagonist said:

am i crazy or are the elementary kids trying to trick or treat earlier now?  we generally shut down our block as we get a large influx of traveling trick or treaters (cars tying to drive down the street with tons of kiddos is no bueno) but they blocked it off at 4pm and the bulk of the kids on the block came around at 4:30pm.  At least let the sun think about setting ffs.  

Our town's "official hours" were published as being from 3:00 to 7:00 which is especially asinine because both the grade schools and the middle schools were still in session at 3pm.

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6-8 in our suburb (lots of neighborhood kids, fair amount of country folk driving in), and it pretty much started right at 6 and wrapped up around 8. We got a bit of rain that impacted things but I think it was similar last year with clear weather.

lol 3-7 fuck you

i missed this thread previous years. looking forward to finding a thickass ugly pumpkin next year for nightmare fuel

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1 hour ago, gyroprotagonist said:

am i crazy or are the elementary kids trying to trick or treat earlier now?  we generally shut down our block as we get a large influx of traveling trick or treaters (cars tying to drive down the street with tons of kiddos is no bueno) but they blocked it off at 4pm and the bulk of the kids on the block came around at 4:30pm.  At least let the sun think about setting ffs.  

Used to live in a suburb of terrified white people. As soon as the vans carrying kids from other parts of town would arrive everyone's porch lights went off. 

My sprinklers were already on for trick treaters of all races.

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1 hour ago, gyroprotagonist said:

am i crazy or are the elementary kids trying to trick or treat earlier now?  we generally shut down our block as we get a large influx of traveling trick or treaters (cars tying to drive down the street with tons of kiddos is no bueno) but they blocked it off at 4pm and the bulk of the kids on the block came around at 4:30pm.  At least let the sun think about setting ffs.  

In my hood: Toddlers and younger elementary kids go early before or at dusk-- older elementary and middle school go in dark and go hard until 9:30-10pm. High school kids are non-existent.

Edited by MeerkatBong
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i saw that some psycho was handing out bags of SunChips.  saw the bag in a kid's pumpkin as they getting candy at our house.  wtf is wrong with people?

there was also some crazy lady on nextdoor trying to shame people using fake cotton webbing in their yards by claiming that by doing so a multitude of birds were surely going to die from being trapped in the strands.  

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48 minutes ago, gyroprotagonist said:

i saw that some psycho was handing out bags of SunChips.  saw the bag in a kid's pumpkin as they getting candy at our house.  wtf is wrong with people?

there was also some crazy lady on nextdoor trying to shame people using fake cotton webbing in their yards by claiming that by doing so a multitude of birds were surely going to die from being trapped in the strands.  

we got some veggie straws that were actually great, since they were something that the toddler could eat as we were parading her from house to house

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Have a neighbor that goes all out to Halloween, including the 12 foot skeleton. He left a table with candy out while they took the kid around the neighborhood. I see his next door neighbor lady come over and snap pictures of their yard and the skeleton and then head back into her house with all the lights turned off. I guess she liked the decorations but didn't want anything to do with Halloween.

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Kind of a weird night last night.  We actually had a more robust trick-or-treat scene the last two years of Covid.  Maybe because of Monday, but almost every kid had today off because of parent-teacher conferences.  And it didn't help that our neighbor had demolition on their remodel going on until past 6 o'clock.  But overall, the whole neighborhood was festive, just not terribly engaged nor high volume.  Had some folks from other areas of town come and they were most welcome (I live the in least douchiest part of the most Karen part of town).  I threw up the Ws game on the projector only to learn it was postponed so we put on some Halloween movies for the kids who were wiped from walking.  plenty of drinks and candy, but it was just kind of weirdly low-traffic.  Me and a handful of other dads kinda informally have everything covered each year  from entertainment to booking a food truck to projection screen to mobile bars to traffic cones to route traffic on all the dead-end roads, etc.  

This afternoon finally has me thinking that my repeated emails with the subject headline "We are all going to die from Fentanyl" may have dissuaded some foot traffic.  I dunno.  

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8 hours ago, nnm said:

Moved to the country in ETX last year. Not a single trick or treater last year or this year. It is glorious. 

Same here.  Parked my vehicle so it blocked the sidewalk to my house and shut down all the outdoor lighting.  Not a single doorbell ring.  It was glorious.  

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Our neighborhood was wall-to-wall kids as it usually is. From 5-8 every block in our neighborhood is crawling with kids and families. Houses generally go all out with decorations. This year we had a house with a live band, another with an animatronic bartender, another with an entire graveyard set up with candy in coffins etc, another with a cotton candy station...it was fantastic. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

New guy took some kind of piss on our front porch so I moved him to his putrification copse a little prematurely. His "lower jaw" (for lack of a better term) was full of an orange-ish liquid. I dumped a little bit so I could carry it without becoming a biohazard but much of it remains. 

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On 11/23/2022 at 4:28 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

New guy took some kind of piss on our front porch so I moved him to his putrification copse a little prematurely. His "lower jaw" (for lack of a better term) was full of an orange-ish liquid. I dumped a little bit so I could carry it without becoming a biohazard but much of it remains. 

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That's the mung I warned you about last year.

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  • 3 months later...

I've been neglectful, both in my duties as a gourdfather, but moreso in keeping you all abreast with monthly updates. 

And I fear that I have some bad news. 

A varmint has eaten almost the whole ass out of this year's rotter. I noticed a big gaping hole a while ago, and for what it's worth, it seems like the feasting has come to an end. But this one may not have the structural integrity to become (or remain) a permanent part of future lineups.

He was keeled over when I went out to check on him. 

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In the shot above, you can see the aftermarket asshole there on the right side. 

Here's the best shot of the damage I could get just holding my phone into the bushes. 

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When I reached in to help straighten him out, he was mushy at the top of his head. Not sure what that portends, but it's probably not ideal. 

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  • 5 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
28 minutes ago, dcbc said:

I'm sorry for your loss. Just checked on my flower bed dweller.

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Looking good! 

It's going to be a lot lighter and more delicate than you expect the first time you pick it up. Take care not to accidentally rip the stem right off. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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  • 5 months later...
22 minutes ago, Grade of D as in David said:

It's about that time of year. How are the gourds looking?

Very low expectations for this year's (well, last year's) new monster. 

As previously reported, someone or something has eaten much of its ass, and not in the good way. There's a real Frank Beamer quality to it now, at least as far as I can tell without disturbing it. 

It kept tipping over and I eventually gave up on propping it up, and I have little faith that it will stand upright very easily or for very long once I extract it from the bushes. 

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But who knows - maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised in a couple of weeks. And the previous two have fared well by spending the offseason in my garage. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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