Jump to content

klanaggy pirate @ soldier texums :: 6pm SECN


Hagbard Celine

Recommended Posts

“It was October 2, 2021.  The Ags were playing with their fourth string QB - playing fourth string walk ons with debilitating side effects from Covid at every position, in fact, as all the able-bodied males at Texas A&M were called to duty in Afghanistan to bail out General Patton and Joe Biden in the fight against the Taliban.  
Our opponent was Mississippi State, easily the best college football team in the country, and widely reported to have been using gene therapy and PEDs to mutate their players into superhumans.  And, of course, they had their entire starting lineup of mutant abominations against God playing in the game instead of helping us in the fight in Afghanistan, because Mississippi State is and always has been an anti-American radical left wing institution that burns the flag and hates our troops.  They were led at the time by a known Communist sympathizer named Mike Leach who had been expelled from Texas Tech for sedition.  
The oddsmakers favored Mississippi State to win by 60.  But our boys fought hard, just like they’ve always done whether it was singlehandedly winning the Battle of the Bulge or Johnny Manziel beating Duke in The Bowl.  In an exceedingly rare moment when the spirit of aggyland and the most supportive fans in the world began to waver at Kyle Field against these insurmountable odds, the crowd looked for inspiration.  And that’s when The Bird appeared.  Cawing with the ferocity of a lion, flying with the majesty of a bald eagle, legend has it The Bird spread its wings so far they touched each goalpost.  When we looked up at The Bird, flying high above the stadium, it looked as though The Bird was gleaming with fire like the Phoenix risen from the ashes.  Some skeptics say it was just a reflection of the sunset, but if you were there you knew if meant God himself had sent The Bird to smite the evildoers at Mississippi State and show the world once again that Aggies are His favored children.  And that is exactly what He showed them all, by sending The Bird to help us lose … but in a close game.  
Every Ag in attendance - all vulnerable women and children because, again, the men were all at war saving Uncle Sam - they all left the stadium that day with their heads held high, and with courage in their hearts, knowing that The Bird was there to watch over them and protect them from the godless sodomites at Mississippi State who only narrowly bested them that day.   Even the Mississippi State fans in attendance, primarily murderers and rapists who usually terrorized and pillaged the towns they visited after a win, even they were so moved by what they had witnessed that they simply thanked the Aggies for being such great hosts and then helped safeguard the women and children to their cars.
And that, kids, is why we have the tradition at Texas A&M of never cleaning grackle shit off of any surface anywhere on the campus.  It may be an eyesore to the uninitiated, but now that you know the story behind it, I’m sure you’ll agree it’s a powerful and quite appropriate statement about this institution.  Just try not to ever breathe or sit down when you’re walking between buildings.”
This needs to be published in the Battalion...who do we talk to? Simply glorious..
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 minutes ago, Chopper said:

If you're familiar with the adage that very often a dog looks like its owner, the nauseating aggy bird fascination might just come down to the fucking bird looking like a couple of nauseating aggy heroes.

FAu8UgFWYAQD7Qe?format=jpg&name=medium

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.F43SMV9EG0U5amX0AgiUqwHaFX%26pid%3DApi&f=1

image.png.4c2847077438d5be0b00b70ce17bfcec.png

There's a carnac the magnificent joke somewhere in here but I can't think of it right now. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Was jimbo smirking like he was enjoying himself with about 2 minutes left or did I imagine it? I expected to see him looking pissed or furiously desperate, but it seemed he was looking more like this. Brought back memories of clayton williams' quote, "just sit back and enjoy it."

smirk.jpg

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Chopper said:

Was jimbo smirking like he was enjoying himself with about 2 minutes left or did I imagine it? I expected to see him looking pissed or furiously desperate, but it seemed he was looking more like this. Brought back memories of clayton williams' quote, "just sit back and enjoy it."

smirk.jpg

“Don’t care, got paid” 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

BTW I overdosed on aggy misery yesterday in collie station. Saw Horns win at their tailgate which cast a pall on their day. Then they lost to a mediocre team in embarrassing fashion to ruin their season. Gnashing of teeth all around. 🤣 
 

So good.

  • Hook 'Em 5
  • Like 2
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kramer

12:33p

So assuming we lose to Bama and make it out without significant injuries…

Mizzou - win
South Carolina - win
Bye - King comes back, OL has gelled a bit. Defense is back on track.
Auburn - A&M wins a wild one at home.
Ole Miss - A&M loses a close one.
PV - win
LSU - A&M wins in Coach O's final game.

8-4 with good momentum heading into the bowl game.

AggieArchitect04

1:23p

I think the only game we can chalk up as a win is PV.

We'll even manage to find a way to **** up the bye week.

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Js1 said:

“Don’t care, got paid” 

Pretty much this. Dude has a golden parachute and putting the program into a tailspin will only hasten the golden parachute that takes him out of college station.

 

Until then, Jimbo can do whatever he wants.

charlie murphy fuck yo couch GIF

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

24 minutes ago, Bevo Num1 said:


Self aware aggy is the best aggy, which is rare.

 

It is hysterical watching them start to figure out what everyone else sees, but they'll outscore Bama 3-0 in the third quarter next week and get all delusional again about that.

Edited by Beau Vine
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Chopper said:

Was jimbo smirking like he was enjoying himself with about 2 minutes left or did I imagine it? I expected to see him looking pissed or furiously desperate, but it seemed he was looking more like this. Brought back memories of clayton williams' quote, "just sit back and enjoy it."

smirk.jpg



Great advice is rarely taken

 

 

B19A8611-8144-4FCD-931C-B08E55E6CE38.jpeg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, theBigHen said:

Is there anyway Haynes comes back before November? With his frame that seems ridiculous to throw him back in there that soon but I know they’re desperate enough to do it. 

He'll be ready to play with a soft cast soon, after some of the players' dads have him over for bbq and a talk.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, coachherman'sgrill said:

Kramer

12:33p

So assuming we lose to Bama and make it out without significant injuries…

Mizzou - win
South Carolina - win
Bye - King comes back, OL has gelled a bit. Defense is back on track.
Auburn - A&M wins a wild one at home.
Ole Miss - A&M loses a close one.
PV - win
LSU - A&M wins in Coach O's final game.

8-4 with good momentum heading into the bowl game.

AggieArchitect04

1:23p

I think the only game we can chalk up as a win is PV.

We'll even manage to find a way to **** up the bye week.

emoji1787.png

Amazing that 8-4 can be a season that ends “with momentum” when they thought their floor was 10-2 and ceiling was 12-0. 
 

never change. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is there anyway Haynes comes back before November? With his frame that seems ridiculous to throw him back in there that soon but I know they’re desperate enough to do it. 
They will do it and have short term memory loss that Calzone was all world when King gets eaten alive. Narrative will change to, "Should've stayed with Calzone". They have the ability to make those mental gymnastics work.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The only part of the last aggy drive I caught last night was the safety so I've been curious how they managed to end up with a 3rd and 11 from their own 10 with 2:30 left. First was a fair catch all the way by their "world class speedster" Anias Smith. He seemed to have breathing room to spare but maybe I'm the idiot for thinking you ought to use one of the few weapons you have while he was in a position to make something happen.

image.png.b0973391e7e95c4d5ca7a1bb66568980.png

Their first play from scrimmage was a handoff to Spiller. Jimbo must've felt pressure to give the ball to Spiller after getting everyone mad last week because he refused to give it to Spiller. Either way It was a hopeless playcall beause Klan aggy knew exactly what was coming and have overloaded the side where Spiller ran straight into.

Even I know the only decent throws Calzada makes are when he doesn't have to look and think, but can just throw to a spot. Yet 2nd down he took forever to go through his progressions then then tried to throw a dart to the sideline, despite double coverage.

3rd down didn't go so well either.

But at least Jimbo seemed amused.

 

image.png.1fe78819d77e98efb8b34f684a69f98e.png

 

image.png.f3a8f1d16e498a5227eb3044b051fe2d.png

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, El Squared said:

I dunno, Nick throttles them back at times. Like Florida game etc. Would not bet the house. 

Not the over/under. Bama as a 14 point favorite.

 

 

if you gamble, that’s as sure a bet as exists. Bama’s first string offense could all get polio and be in iron lungs and the 2nd string would drop 21 on Aggy while the D shut them out.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Chopper said:

If you're familiar with the adage that very often a dog looks like its owner, the nauseating aggy bird fascination might just come down to the fucking bird looking like a couple of nauseating aggy heroes.

FAu8UgFWYAQD7Qe?format=jpg&name=medium

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.F43SMV9EG0U5amX0AgiUqwHaFX%26pid%3DApi&f=1

image.png.4c2847077438d5be0b00b70ce17bfcec.png

If I had Liucci’s nose full of nickels, I could retire.

Edited by CowtownHorn
Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, Chopper said:

The only part of the last aggy drive I caught last night was the safety so I've been curious how they managed to end up with a 3rd and 11 from their own 10 with 2:30 left. First was a fair catch all the way by their "world class speedster" Anias Smith. He seemed to have breathing room to spare but maybe I'm the idiot for thinking you ought to use one of the few weapons you have while he was in a position to make something happen.

image.png.b0973391e7e95c4d5ca7a1bb66568980.png

Their first play from scrimmage was a handoff to Spiller. Jimbo must've felt pressure to give the ball to Spiller after getting everyone mad last week because he refused to give it to Spiller. Either way It was a hopeless playcall beause Klan aggy knew exactly what was coming and have overloaded the side where Spiller ran straight into.

Even I know the only decent throws Calzada makes are when he doesn't have to look and think, but can just throw to a spot. Yet 2nd down he took forever to go through his progressions then then tried to throw a dart to the sideline, despite double coverage.

3rd down didn't go so well either.

But at least Jimbo seemed amused.

 

image.png.1fe78819d77e98efb8b34f684a69f98e.png

 

image.png.f3a8f1d16e498a5227eb3044b051fe2d.png

 

You talk’n to me?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm I the only one that fully expects to see a Grackle scoreboard built by them, sparing no expense of course, if he shows up 1 more time this season?  Cause you know, tradition.  I'm sure there will be some incredible narrative they only now recall about the great Grackle of 1939.  Returning from a tour of duty guiding our brave boys to victory on the battlefield only to find some weary fans of the visiting team lost on their way to the game.  Cpt. Grackle used his last bit of strength to guide those lost souls safely to the game where they were treated like royalty - convincing them that, except for the school they attended, they would surely be aggy fans moving forward.  

Edited by MIkeHoncho
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, MIkeHoncho said:

I'm I the only one that fully expects to see a Grackle scoreboard built by them, sparing no expense of course, if he shows up 1 more time this season?  Cause you know, tradition.  I'm sure there will be some incredible narrative they only now recall about the great Grackle of 1939.  Returning from a tour of duty guiding our brave boys to victory on the battlefield only to find some weary fans of the visiting team lost on their way to the game.  Cpt. Grackle used his last bit of strength to guide those lost souls safely to the game where they were treated like royalty - convincing them that, except for the school they attended, they would surely be aggy fans moving forward.  

Will they put it up next to the dead dog scoreboard? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I may have told this previously when telling of the campus visit to A&M with youngest daughter (the one in her second year at UT, and no, no pictures). As we walk past the "dead dog plaza", my daughter says "what is this?"

I explain what it is and that they spent something like a million dollars on it. She stares at it for few seconds and asks "Adults did this?" I was trying to be neutral for the sake of her tour so I said "well, Aggy adults."

 

  • Like 2
  • Haha 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...