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Texas washing over me like a wave


Brisketexan

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Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

And make sure the correct pronunciation is used:  it's 'pa-khan'......not 'pee-can'

Duh. 😉 

3 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Where the locals absolutely loathe out of towners, especially Texans.....;)

I was up there in 1998 and they hated us then.

Edited by troph
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I still have the dog collars from my great g-father who used hounds and was part of the wolf eradication program in the state before poisoning was proven to be more effective.

My little cousin a few years back.  This is what the state means to me.  Shared familial experiences.  Making the same memories and doing the same work on the same dirt as previous generations before us.  We have that luxury to have land passed down through the generations (albeit smaller each GD time...).  I realize this and take the burden seriously and have passed that on to my kids.  This is where they came from.  These are the graves of your past.  Here are the pictures of your g-father at a younger age than they are today.

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She's now there and getting settled into her flat/room (it's London, we can't afford much more than a room....and we're only paying for that for a few months, till she gets a job and can pay her own way).

Was weird getting a text from her saying "I'm home," as her location shows that she's in Hackney.  Sigh.  On to the next thing.

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19 hours ago, DixonHur said:

Texas today is so far removed from the Texas of my youth, that it's hardly fair to still call it Texas.

Back before we were a mecca for new residents, Texas had its own spirit, culture, traditions, its own regional dialects, music, and food...and I was damn proud to be from here.  Whenever I'd travel, being from Texas was a source of pride.

But now, with the influx of newcomers, we're just another state with less and less to be proud of.

Yes, the newcomers have ruined this state. 

Come On Wow GIF by BrownSugarApp

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Posted (edited)
15 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Left the airport a little while ago.  So, that was hard.  And not just the logistics (she's moving her whole life over there, so yeah, we had an extra bag, and both were overweight, one so much so that we had to move a bunch of stuff around, and she had to leave some stuff behind).  It was just fucking hard.  I've put my kids on a plane to go live in another country several times, but it always had an "end date."  This one doesn't.

As we walked out of the airport, my wife asked where to next -- home?  Something else?  Our drive home takes us past the Luby's on Cameron Road.  I said let's hit Luby's for dinner.  It was the good stuff.  Shit, it was the stuff I grew up on (hey, they had their enchiladas tonight!).  Seriously, what good Texan didn't eat 1,000 times at Luby's over the years?

But it was funny, as we were leaving, a long table down from us started singing happy birthday.  A group of maybe a dozen people, and they decided the birthday dinner would be at Luby's.  Which made my wife and me both smile and laugh, and not just because they seemed as happy as could be (and why wouldn't they be?  Everyone could get exactly what they want for $12 a head).  When my daughter was maybe 2 years old, I remember coming home from work on my birthday.  She was so excited that it was my birthday, and we were going to go out for dinner.  She greets me with "Daddy!  For your birthday, we're going to eat at your FAVORITE restaurant!"  I was quite curious as to what she thought my favorite restaurant actually was.  "Oh?  And where is that?"  She grins wide...."LUBY'S!!!"  My wife and I laughed, because clearly, she connected the fact that we ate at Luby's...a lot...to the conclusion that it MUST be my favorite restaurant.  So....that's where we went to dinner for my 30-something'th birthday.  

It's also where we went to dinner on the day she moved away.

This old porch is just a weathered, gray-hair seventy years of Texas
He's doing all he can not to give in to the city
And he always takes the rent late
So long as I run his cattle
He picks me up at dinner-time, I listen to him rattle
He says the Brazos still runs muddy like she's runned all along
There ain't never been no cane to grind
The cotton's all but gone
And you know this Chevrolet pick-up truck, shewas something, back in '60
Now there ain't nobody listen to him, 'cause they all think he's crazy
This old porch is just a long time waiting and forgetting
And remembering the coming back, not crying 'bout the leaving
And remembering the falling down
And the laughter and the curse of luck
From all them sons-of-bitches, who said we'd never get back up
Edited by Trey3216
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15 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Left the airport a little while ago.  So, that was hard.  And not just the logistics (she's moving her whole life over there, so yeah, we had an extra bag, and both were overweight, one so much so that we had to move a bunch of stuff around, and she had to leave some stuff behind).  It was just fucking hard.  I've put my kids on a plane to go live in another country several times, but it always had an "end date."  This one doesn't.

As we walked out of the airport, my wife asked where to next -- home?  Something else?  Our drive home takes us past the Luby's on Cameron Road.  I said let's hit Luby's for dinner.  It was the good stuff.  Shit, it was the stuff I grew up on (hey, they had their enchiladas tonight!).  Seriously, what good Texan didn't eat 1,000 times at Luby's over the years?

 

Fucking hell, I'm gonna be in the same boat...

I just talked to my daughter (who left Texas for college and has said she'll never live in Texas again) last night -- it sounds like she and her boyfriend (originally from The Woodlands) are probably going to move to Milan, Italy in the fall.

 

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12 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

She's now there and getting settled into her flat/room (it's London, we can't afford much more than a room....and we're only paying for that for a few months, till she gets a job and can pay her own way).

Was weird getting a text from her saying "I'm home," as her location shows that she's in Hackney.  Sigh.  On to the next thing.

5e569168-5b54-4dd2-969b-523c5d92fdbb_tex

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Reading some of these posts reminds me of reading texags threads about junction boys aggie and redasses lamenting about how the younger generation aglets aren't redass enough. Texas and aggie, they definitely are states of mind.

But they I remember that this state is has firmly embedded its mindset with aggie mindset and it all makes sense.

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Just now, Beau Vine said:

Fucking hell, I'm gonna be in the same boat...

I just talked to my daughter (who left Texas for college and has said she'll never live in Texas again) last night -- it sounds like she and her boyfriend (originally from The Woodlands) are probably going to move to Milan, Italy in the fall.

 

Better than Milan, Indiana.  So....there's that.

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19 hours ago, deadshank said:

I kinda feel the way Brisket does and I kinda don’t.  Texas has a great and a bad history.  Like most legendary people and places there is truth, fiction, beauty and ugliness.   No person or place is perfect. 
 

Fretting over it is a waste of time.  Feeling embarrassed by something about Texas or someone from Texas is on them.  It’s not on me.  I don’t feel embarrassed.  Why should I? They should be embarrassed.   I don’t fret and self-loathe.   I’m not important.  I just roll my eyes and move on about my day.  What am I gonna do?  Move to Arkansas?  New Hampshire?   Oregon?  They full of loonies, too.  Can’t get away from others different than you.  There is no perfect place or setting.  
 

It is good to be nostalgic and sentimental.  It is far easier than loving something or someone.  There is a big difference between the two. 

Here is my thing. Although I have been at times suffused with Texas pride, I have long realized that much of it was quite false. So I have a bit less of a problem surrendering that pride. 

Also, my family took a sojourn into southern Arkansas for a generation and for all the shit Arkies get around here, I have long known Texas is not much different, especially the eastern parts. 

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Posted (edited)
20 hours ago, F250 said:

This. It is similar to the change that happened in Austin but has happened to the entire fucking state.

Hell, you see it happening in places you wouldn't expect. I recently went to Port O'Connor for some fishing with my cousin. When we stopped by a bar on that trip we ran into a guy that went all in on the Texas theme and he was a recent transplant from Fucking Ohio.

On another trip to the area I met a family in Victoria that adopted the caricature of a Texan and they were from Indiana.

Weird shit. Although now that I think about it. I have a friend that moved to Colorado and he purchased the Colorado starter pack.

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Me (on the left) when we first moved to Texas in 1946 - stationed at Fort Sam.

Yeehaww!

 

912$$IMG_3510.jpeg

Edited by Armybrat
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1 minute ago, Armybrat said:

Me (on the left) when we first move to Texas in 1946 - stationed at Fort Sam.

Yeehaww!

 

912$$IMG_3510.jpeg

Growing up in San Antonio, I always gave military brats a pass. They are different than your standard out of state migrant. Most were ephemeral but the ones that stayed adopted the local culture.

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19 hours ago, troph said:

Luann platter after church on Sunday afternoon for the  mother fucking win. Mom can I have pecan pie??

image.png.ac00db0820f5829dd3c2f52b8ef33aff.png

 

also, this is a damn good thread. will you fucks stop CR'ing it up?

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Just now, tejas60 said:

image.png.ac00db0820f5829dd3c2f52b8ef33aff.png

 

also, this is a damn good thread. will you fucks stop CR'ing it up?

This.  Fuck, some people just can’t help but bring politics into every discussion imaginable.  

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for those that have kids that have left and are never coming back. back when my oldest daughter hated me for divorcing her mother, she graduated college and immediately left for Portland and was never returning to Texas. after a failed marriage, she moved to Brooklyn and started talking to me again. then the call came. she asked if I could help her move back to Texas. I was on a plane the next week and she's in Fort Worth for probably the rest of her life. 

some of your kids won't come back, but you never know.

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12 minutes ago, tejas60 said:

for those that have kids that have left and are never coming back. back when my oldest daughter hated me for divorcing her mother, she graduated college and immediately left for Portland and was never returning to Texas. after a failed marriage, she moved to Brooklyn and started talking to me again. then the call came. she asked if I could help her move back to Texas. I was on a plane the next week and she's in Fort Worth for probably the rest of her life. 

some of your kids won't come back, but you never know.

"I am tormented by an everlasting itch for things remote.  I love to sail forbidden seas."  -Melville

my father used to tell me that quote as some sort of life-map.  He lived on multiple continents and in a half-dozen states.  As have I.  My wife's family, god bless them, have stayed in the same one-stoplight town since their grand-grandparents.  Except for her.  My father used to laugh, and now I do too, about how people would brag about being a multiple-generation this or that when that was the one thing in their life they actually had the least control over.  My daughters have been born and raised here.  They may choose to stay, they may choose to leave as both are in their bones.  The species relies on a select few wanting to spread out and explore.  As long as it's for a good reason, I would wish them well and support them in any way I can should they choose to leave Texas.  There is some integrity in hanging back to protect and tend to family land.  But there is much more glory and valor in seeing what else is out there.  My oldest can hardly go to Mars if I don't let her leave Texas.  It's simply what is next.  

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12 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

But there is much more glory and valor in seeing what else is out there. 

lol dude you are talking about people moving from one part of civilization to another. These aren't fucking Conquistadors sailing the ocean blue.

 

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No, there were already people where those people showed up to.  Like the Eddie Izzard bit.  I'm merely indicating that my children should feel free to roam about the country and the planet when they get of age.  There is nothing left to "discover" because there have been people in all corners for millennia.  I have to remind people that we, as a species, didn't all spontaneously, appear at the exact same time in every corner of the planet.  We had to migrate from a few fixed positions to see what was what.  I think about this at night when I go on walks or camping with my oldest.  She's been getting better and better at charting star constellations.  And while we're walking we have some laughs at why some of her friend's parents constantly bring up how far back in Texas they go, as if they had anything to do with it.  But when we're walking and she's charting the stars and moon, I remind her that for every generation I've ever known on both sides of my family---they were nocturnal hunters and celestial navigators.  They picked up on patterns on constellational movement and were able to provide everything from game slaying to sailing expertise.  There are no more new worlds to conquer until we get back to the Moon & Mars.  But in the meantime, my point is I want my girls to know they can follow in their bloodstream-to find new adventure and opportunity in foreign lands even if it's just another state.  For the very simple reason we left the caves, because it's what's next.  

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24 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

"I am tormented by an everlasting itch for things remote.  I love to sail forbidden seas."  -Melville

my father used to tell me that quote as some sort of life-map.  He lived on multiple continents and in a half-dozen states.  As have I.  My wife's family, god bless them, have stayed in the same one-stoplight town since their grand-grandparents.  Except for her.  My father used to laugh, and now I do too, about how people would brag about being a multiple-generation this or that when that was the one thing in their life they actually had the least control over.  My daughters have been born and raised here.  They may choose to stay, they may choose to leave as both are in their bones.  The species relies on a select few wanting to spread out and explore.  As long as it's for a good reason, I would wish them well and support them in any way I can should they choose to leave Texas.  There is some integrity in hanging back to protect and tend to family land.  But there is much more glory and valor in seeing what else is out there.  My oldest can hardly go to Mars if I don't let her leave Texas.  It's simply what is next.  

There's a good bit of Goodheart's "Somewhere people vs. Anywhere people" in there.  https://thinktheology.co.uk/blog/article/anywheres_and_somewheres  His perspective is British, but it's definitely applicable here:

Quote

Anywheres (about 25% of the UK today) dominate British culture and society. They pass exams, do well at school, go on to a residential university, work in a major city at some stage, marry late, and comprise almost all of the political, journalistic, corporate and artistic elites. They (we?) have identities which are “portable” and “achieved,” and pride themselves on being tolerant, meritocratic, egalitarian, autonomous, open to change, internationalist and individualist. Ironically, though they almost all voted Remain, they are actually the ones who “leave” their place of origin and move somewhere else.

Somewheres (about 50% of the UK today) “are more rooted and usually have ‘ascribed’ identities—Scottish farmer, working class Geordie, Cornish housewife—based on group belonging and particular places.” (60% of British people live within twenty miles of where they lived when they were fourteen.) This, rather than education or class, is what joins them together; they earn, live, work and vote in widely differing ways, but they are typically more local in outlook, communitarian, stable, patriotic, traditional, mindful of security and tied to specific places. Many (though by no means all) of them voted Leave, but by and large they are the ones who “remain.” They also have larger families, and give more to charity.

In a lot of ways, my original post and what I (and my daughter) wrestle with is that we don't fit neatly into either paradigm.  We're facially "Anywhere" people, but we are deeply tied to our place of origin.  We're acutely aware of how it shaped and formed us, and how it will always define us, and that those things can be good.  It's actually a challenging dichotomy to live with.  I am deeply loyal to, and aware of my ties to, "place."  But I am also global in my perspective, and ultimately can see myself living in any number of places.  I like people, I will make community where I am.  But I will always be a son of Texas.  Always.

8 minutes ago, F250 said:

lol dude you are talking about people moving from one part of civilization to another. These aren't fucking Conquistadors sailing the ocean blue.

You're correct - what people are moving to isn't "here be dragons" country, but going someplace that is not home, is far away from what you know and your support systems, is deeply scary, because we are creatures of the familiar.  And for those left behind, it's hard as well.  It's been that way for immigrants forever.  It's pretty intimidating to think back on my relatives who got on a boat from Spain in 1780 to head to Mexico, never to return.  Or my wife's family, leaving Scotland in the 1850s to make their lives in the US.  Leaving your family, and your native land, behind to launch a life in "the new world" -- what an amazing, terrifying thing.

I've posted it around here before, but I think the song Kilkelly, Ireland is incredibly beautiful and powerful.  It's a series of verses that are based on letters from a father left behind in Ireland, writing to his son who has gone to America to find his future.

 

Most of the verses end with his father saying "we hope you'll come home to visit," or "we hope you'll be coming home soon."  Until the last verse, which is a letter written by his brother:

Kilkelly, Ireland, 18 and 92, my dear brother John
I'm sorry that I didn't write sooner to tell you that father passed on.
He was living with Brigid, she says he was cheerful
And healthy right down to the end.
Ah, you should have seen him play with
The grandchildren of Pat McNamara, your friend.
And we buried him alongside of mother,
Down at the Kilkelly churchyard.
He was a strong and a feisty old man,
Considering his life was so hard.
And it's funny the way he kept talking about you,
He called for you in the end.

Oh, why don't you think about coming to visit,
We'd all love to see you again.

 

That last verse absolutely.  Fucking.  Breaks me.  Every goddamned time.  Leaving all that you've known, all that's familiar and secure.  It takes courage.  And it creates separation.  You leave so much behind.  And there are those who are left behind, and what they feel as well.  They will still "call for you in the end," across oceans.

My daughter was messaging us earlier.  She's definitely in that "I'm sad, weirdly homesick, afraid, and alone...but I'm stuck and can't go back" phase of the move.  She's felt this each move she's made before, and she knows how it goes, and that she'll adjust quickly and thrive wherever she is (she is already a "native soul" of Montreal and Gothenburg, for example).  But the emotions are human, they are there, and they are consistent.  She'll be okay.  I hope, and strongly suspect, that she will find a way to thrive, and launch herself.  As we all must, someday.

We are made to be together.  We are made to be in close-knit communities.  But we are also made to walk over that horizon, into something new and frightening.  The same thing can be both beautiful and terrifying.  Hell, life is both of those things across the board.

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, tejas60 said:

image.png.ac00db0820f5829dd3c2f52b8ef33aff.png

 

also, this is a damn good thread. will you fucks stop CR'ing it up?

 

2 hours ago, HouTex said:

This.  Fuck, some people just can’t help but bring politics into every discussion imaginable.  

Never mind there’s no point. 

Edited by troph
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1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

There's a good bit of Goodheart's "Somewhere people vs. Anywhere people" in there.  https://thinktheology.co.uk/blog/article/anywheres_and_somewheres  His perspective is British, but it's definitely applicable here:

In a lot of ways, my original post and what I (and my daughter) wrestle with is that we don't fit neatly into either paradigm.  We're facially "Anywhere" people, but we are deeply tied to our place of origin.  We're acutely aware of how it shaped and formed us, and how it will always define us, and that those things can be good.  It's actually a challenging dichotomy to live with.  I am deeply loyal to, and aware of my ties to, "place."  But I am also global in my perspective, and ultimately can see myself living in any number of places.  I like people, I will make community where I am.  But I will always be a son of Texas.  Always.

You're correct - what people are moving to isn't "here be dragons" country, but going someplace that is not home, is far away from what you know and your support systems, is deeply scary, because we are creatures of the familiar.  And for those left behind, it's hard as well.  It's been that way for immigrants forever.  It's pretty intimidating to think back on my relatives who got on a boat from Spain in 1780 to head to Mexico, never to return.  Or my wife's family, leaving Scotland in the 1850s to make their lives in the US.  Leaving your family, and your native land, behind to launch a life in "the new world" -- what an amazing, terrifying thing.

I've posted it around here before, but I think the song Kilkelly, Ireland is incredibly beautiful and powerful.  It's a series of verses that are based on letters from a father left behind in Ireland, writing to his son who has gone to America to find his future.

 

Most of the verses end with his father saying "we hope you'll come home to visit," or "we hope you'll be coming home soon."  Until the last verse, which is a letter written by his brother:

Kilkelly, Ireland, 18 and 92, my dear brother John
I'm sorry that I didn't write sooner to tell you that father passed on.
He was living with Brigid, she says he was cheerful
And healthy right down to the end.
Ah, you should have seen him play with
The grandchildren of Pat McNamara, your friend.
And we buried him alongside of mother,
Down at the Kilkelly churchyard.
He was a strong and a feisty old man,
Considering his life was so hard.
And it's funny the way he kept talking about you,
He called for you in the end.

Oh, why don't you think about coming to visit,
We'd all love to see you again.

 

That last verse absolutely.  Fucking.  Breaks me.  Every goddamned time.  Leaving all that you've known, all that's familiar and secure.  It takes courage.  And it creates separation.  You leave so much behind.  And there are those who are left behind, and what they feel as well.  They will still "call for you in the end," across oceans.

My daughter was messaging us earlier.  She's definitely in that "I'm sad, weirdly homesick, afraid, and alone...but I'm stuck and can't go back" phase of the move.  She's felt this each move she's made before, and she knows how it goes, and that she'll adjust quickly and thrive wherever she is (she is already a "native soul" of Montreal and Gothenburg, for example).  But the emotions are human, they are there, and they are consistent.  She'll be okay.  I hope, and strongly suspect, that she will find a way to thrive, and launch herself.  As we all must, someday.

We are made to be together.  We are made to be in close-knit communities.  But we are also made to walk over that horizon, into something new and frightening.  The same thing can be both beautiful and terrifying.  Hell, life is both of those things across the board.

My grandmother (lower left) and her family took a boat from Sweden to America in 1892. None of them knew English. One of her brothers lost his hand in one of those dangerous industrial accidents that happened all the time to immigrants kids that no one gave a crap about.  Her father died within years of reaching America, leaving their non-English-speaking mom to raise the four kids.

IMG_2128.thumb.jpeg.16952f8cb0806103e99e805b8b58762a.jpeg

 

We are most all immigrants.  My grandfather’s family did not want him to marry “ some poor uneducated, immigrant off a boat” , according to family lore.  It’s only after we’ve been here a while that we want to pull the immigration ladder up after us.   

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Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, TwiceHorn said:

I have long known Texas is not much different, especially the eastern parts. 

Ain't that the damned truth.  I spent twenty-three years in Houston and four in Austin before moving to Tyler.  And while I like Tyler and consider it to be "home," I'm definitely do not consider myself "from here."  There are distinct differences between where I grew up and where I live now.  But that's Texas for you.

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2 hours ago, Gatorubet said:

My grandmother (lower left) and her family took a boat from Sweden to America in 1892.

Did she arrive in Florida?  

I always think about what it must have been like for northern Europeans arriving in the southern US.

There was obviously no internet so they must have been shocked during that first summer...sans AC, no less.

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42 minutes ago, DixonHur said:

Did she arrive in Florida?  

I always think about what it must have been like for northern Europeans arriving in the southern US.

There was obviously no internet so they must have been shocked during that first summer...sans AC, no less.

Ellis Island, then New Jersey.   My dad was a civil engineer who built fossil fuel power plants.  That meant I moved every two years.   We just happen to be in Florida when I graduated high school and went to UF.

The only state I have not lived in or visited is Alaska - and I’m about to knock that out. 

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9 hours ago, DixonHur said:

Actually, yes.

Do you not understand the concept of dilution?  

I understand that the worst shitbags I know personally are people who have never lived outside their hometown for any length of time.  

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On 3/14/2024 at 1:29 PM, SimonBolivar said:

My mom's hometown and you haven't lived until you're an 11-year-old sitting on the pier fishing in 39-degree weather because you're heading back to CenTex once Christmas break is over. Yeah it might be cold right now but that Alamo Bowl between Northwestern and Nebraska is on the television tonight and we're going to warm up some tamales from last week and fry some shrimp for the game because who knows Northwestern might stun the world and there sure as hell isn't anything else to do unless you want to drive to Port Lavaca and their two-screen theater (the ate her). 

 

 

Quarter of a century later and the only family left there is buried, and lord knows when the next time I'll get to visit will be.

 

 

My wife applied for a job down there. I wanted her to get it so bad. Just to live on the coast for a few years, write, fish. It is a cool town and still not overgrown.

I was not born in Texas. Dad is, but with his military service we never lived here. Came to go to UT and never minded one bit. Now I want out. Not sure where, but pretty sure it is time to go. Had a chance pre-covid to head to Africa but stayed due to my dad. Glad I did and will stay while he is still kicking.

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I am sitting in one of my favorite haunts in Prague, sipping a cold lager in one of the few true Czech places left in the Mala Strana. And reading this and thinking on it is hitting me hard.

My roots back home aren’t as deep as Brisket’s. At least one branch that dates back to pre-1836 and the rest between statehood and shortly after the Civil War.  Almost all of them the typical Scots Irish, people who get bored with something as soon as it’s built and who aren’t happy without something or someone to fight with.  And they wandered all over Texas, too. Trying but never mastering anything from farming to wildcatting to running a grocery all over the state from Wise to Ector counties.  Before moving south, learning Spanish, and trying to do something along the Rio Grande (getting it ready for the stolid Swedes and Germans who had the tenacity to actually turn the delta into a garden). But aways Texas. Which offered plenty of space to wander and find things to struggle against. 
 

Until it didn’t. And I left and haven’t come back.  And my daughters are a marvel, living in 5 and 4 countries in under 12 years. Never blinking at anything foreign, gracious, brave, broad minded.  If pressed, home would be the Valley, where their grandparents are and where they spend every summer.  But while they think of it as home, it’s clear— home doesn’t think of them the same way.  They are not from there and never can be. And when their grandparents are gone, what will it be? Likely just memories of sand and mesquite and bird calls and the big sky. 
 

There’s a cost to the gift of never feeling out of place anywhere— you also never really feel at home. And I wonder at whether they’ll want to keep the gift once the full cost is known. 

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