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Ted Cruz is a piece of shit


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My suggestion is to flood his phone and email asking him to come out and support Putin. 
He is so stupid he will think everyone agrees with that and he will give a press conference with his support. 
 

I just left a VM and email request he show his love for Putin soon so we know where his heart is. In VM I also asked if I could see Heidi again. 

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27 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

 

I realize that the "live" photo feature on iPhones can actually capture the image before/after the intended pose and use that as the frozen "thumbnail" for the photo.  So I'll be polite and assume Ted wasn't usually sit/talk like fucking Ed Grimley.  "Well Hershel, I must say.  Donald Trump seems like a really swell fellow.  I mean, he's no Pat Sajak, but then...how is?  Am I right.  I must say, I certainly hope the camera picks up words on my right boot like it captures Pat's handsomeness.  Speaking of handsome, Trump's a really dapper man, I must say."  

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The magassiere?  

Racist like Trump certainly isn't gonna go with "The Bro"

Actually, I gotta admit...Trump looks like he's lost a few pounds.  Hopefully it's brain AIDS.

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I need help. 
In a hotel and going down elevator stopped and picked up a dude. He laughed and said something about “president”. I laughed and then said “what did you say”. 
He said something and I asked are you a trumpkin? He then realized I was I serious and said no. I said good cause I am so pissed off I am about to start a fight and don’t give a shit cause I can afford a night in jail. 
 

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2 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

What do you think happened to his ladies’ golf watch?

wrong answers only.

That's funny, my mind just subconsciously wanders to that question every time I see him in anything but a suit.  The dress belt and dark dress pants, which aren't actually golf pants, I just will never understand.  I mean, I know older guys dress differently on the course than guys my age...but he's been wearing just suit bottoms with a dress belt on the links for decades.  And the fucking women's dress watch is always my favorite part.  Nobody ever questions it like "Yeah, Lobo...that's his golf watch...so?  What do you wear out on the course faggot?"  My favorite though is the photo of him playing tennis in it.  

I don't play much golf but when I do, I usually wear a sportswatch of some sort, doesn't really screw up my shitty game any shittier.  But I can't conceive of putting on a polo and tennis shorts, walking out onto the courts that have multiple clocks on them, and thinking, "Oh boy, better put on my daintiest leather watch with gold face and case."  Whenever I play tennis with my daughter, I've never thought, "Maybe my shit game would be better if I was cutting off the circulation to my backhand with a luxury timepiece."  /rant

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3 hours ago, Shaddie said:

My suggestion is to flood his phone and email asking him to come out and support Putin. 
He is so stupid he will think everyone agrees with that and he will give a press conference with his support. 
 

I just left a VM and email request he show his love for Putin soon so we know where his heart is. In VM I also asked if I could see Heidi again. 

"Ted, please don't cave to the liberals and support Ukraine like Biden is asking us to do.  Be a man and do what President Trump said, and praise President Putin.

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It's understandable that Heidi has been faking a Red Wave with Ted for a full decade now, but she's had no problem with the "is coming" part with several other gentlemen over the years.  

Ted---that means your family hates you.  Can you understand that ? 

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They say "Senator Ted Cruz" on them?  I couldn't make out the first word.  

I don't get monogramming shirts or accessories.  I don't really get confused on which shirts are mine at home or the gym, only places I change.  

But I really don't get putting your title and full name spelled out on a pair of boots.  Is it some lame attempt at a power move where you're talking with him, and he decides to place one of his feet up to show how dominating he is and you can read that he's in the Senate and his name is Ted Cruz.   In case you forget.  

He's obviously making up for the fact that he knows his wife sucks a lot of cock on the sly. 

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15 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

this fucking cunt

 

 

 

He should really refrain from commenting on other's looks.  Ted Cruz wasn't a great looking guy to begin with and always gave off a bit of a creepy vibe.  He's now letting himself go rather quickly and is turning into a fat, hairy Grandpa Munster.

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Big is bad?  Ted is bad.  He is so bad at this.  He thinks he's good at trolling, but he's terrible.

Those mouthbreathers don't know who Jen Psaki is.  You think they watch those briefings?  Fuck no.

But they know who Hunter Biden is and George Soros, because Fox News feeds them that shit.

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  • 2 weeks later...

According to the guy I know who is fucking his wife, his two daughters haven’t hugged him in over a year.  And I’m supposed to believe that every United Airlines crew member is embracing him every chance they get?

Edited by Lobo
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8 minutes ago, Lobo said:

According to the guy I know who is fucking his wife, his two daughters haven’t hugged him in over a year.  And I’m supposed to believe that every United Airlines crew member is embracing him every chance they get?

On behalf of me, please tell "that guy you know" (wink, wink say no more - you dirty dawg): next time he is finished laying the wood to Cruz' wife to clean off his filthy dick with Ted's monogrammed face towel hanging in his master bathroom.

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8 minutes ago, Disco Strangler said:

On behalf of me, please tell "that guy you know" (wink, wink say no more - you dirty dawg): next time he is finished laying the wood to Cruz' wife to clean off his filthy dick with Ted's monogrammed face towel hanging in his master bathroom.

He only fucks her when Heidi is in Austin.  They have standards you know.  Actually I think it stopped a few years ago after he remarried.  I think Heidi is back on suicide watch.  Or what clinical psychiatrists call, "Married to Senator Cruz" in textbooks. 

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3 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

It's so fucking annoying that we are stuck with this piece of shit until he decides to quit.  

He's not hanging around to quit.  He's hanging around to be nominated as a Supreme Court Justice.  He's gonna make you wanna blow Kavanaugh on top of a keg.  

His former campaign director and chief of staff, as I've posted before, said with a straight face, "If he was 10% more likable, we could make him President."  So be glad, in some dark fucked up way, that he's such a shitbag.  Otherwise, he'd be a lot more omnipresent in your life.  

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