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Last Jedi Was So Bad I Only Saw It Twice


Eskimohorn

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They had to do massive rewrites and reshoots to Rogue One and brought in another director to finish the movie because Edwards ending was a bit of a mess. The Vader scene that makes the movie was a last minute addition at the behest of people at Lucasfilm to tie the story to ANH. Gareth Edwards isn’t saving anything.


Whatever they did they need to do it again. Rogue One kicks ass and all the prequels and new one suck. TFA was enjoyable, but the other 4 all sucked.
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8 hours ago, BrickHorn said:

There are four Star Wars movies:

1. Star Wars

2. The Empire Strikes Back

3. Return of the Jedi

4. Rogue One

Everything else is garbage and, as far as I’m concerned, never happened.  

And if some millennial motherfucker squeals that I left off “A New Hope,” I’m going to fucking lose it.  The movie is called “Star Wars” and it doesn’t have some pathetic CGI slug begging Han Solo for money.

Revenge of the Sith is good. Sorry. It is. 

The other 2 prequels... eh. At least they did some world building and stayed within the general canon. 

TFA was a total rehash but it was a good film. 

I like Solo just as much as Rouge One. Not sure Solo has to be "canon" though. 

TLJ was an abortion for so so so many reasons.

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2 hours ago, 52-80 said:

I need Rimbo to come tell me Rogue One is bad because it got worse crotten tomatoes review than Last Jedi

It helps when Disney pays every reviewer under the table. 

And as far as conspiracies go, this is one I utterly, 100% beleive.

Edited by ztejas
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I like how people are so shell shocked from the new trilogy that they think Rogue One is some masterpiece.  The film has all sorts of problems and it shows. 

Saw Gerrera's stuff is totally out of whack because they ended up cutting a ton of his involvement in the movie.  Every scene he's in feels disjointed and bad.

The characters, outside of the sarcastic droid, are all uninteresting and shallow. 

The lead actress was just not up for the job and she was given some awful material to work with.  Her little speech to the Rebels was one of the most laughable things I've ever seen in a film.

"Don't choke on your aspirations."

They took a page from most every Marvel film and gave us a completely weak and uninteresting villain. 

CGI Tarkin

Of course, the final 30 minutes of the movie are amazing with the Vader fan service at the end to top it off.  However, the rest of the film is a fucking mess. 

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TFA is pretty good but there is a huge fuck up in that movie...and that is allowing Rey to kick Kylo Ren's ass from the jump.  Once you've seen that happen out of the box what fucking tension is there when those two come head to head?  It's sort of the reverse of the mistake of the prequels where they made Anakin a huge gaping pussy who kept stupidly getting his ass kicked...when supposedly he was a cunning warrior.

Since you in theory knew his backstory it was fine to have him kicking ass out of the box.  But they fucked up his arc by letting him get constantly beat down (besides all the emo shit of course).  It would have been better if he only gets defeated by Obi Wan at the end when hate/anger/hubris has finally consumed him. 

Rey should go from talented but vulnerable to badass (a la Luke)

This shit isn't hard.

Edited by Surly Bevo
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The other two prequels made Sith look like Empire. So I think Sith benefits from that. I watched some of it probably two years ago and didn't think it's held up very well. 

I personally enjoyed Solo more than Rogue One, although I'd call them both pretty mediocre. 

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1 minute ago, Red Five said:

I watched some of it probably two years ago and didn't think it's held up very well. 

I'm not sure it holds up that well, either, but it does wonders to flesh out the canon and has a handful of incredible moments that I think prequel haters choose to ignore. The narrative and undertones are much darker and more complex than anything outside of the original trilogy. There's still an annoying amount of prequel cheese but all told it isn't a tough 2:20 to sit through and has many redeeming qualities. 

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Sith was the best of the 3 P's I'll give you that.

On 2/1/2019 at 10:18 PM, mdmost said:

They had to do massive rewrites and reshoots to Rogue One and brought in another director to finish the movie because Edwards ending was a bit of a mess.

Kinda sounds like what we heard about "Star Wars" before it came out, amirite?  Lucas' buddies didn't understand the movie the way he had edited it.  You know, Coppola, Spielberg, Scorsese, Stone, De Palma....etc.

Only after Marcia got involved (another set of eyes with a different perspective) did the film become the blockbuster we saw.  11 million spent, 513 million return.  Pretty decent.

21 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

A big problem is if your resistance is reduced to a few hundred folks with no mainstream political support, you’re not an opposition group, you’re a terrorist organization.

Well, maybe THAT would make for an interesting movie.

Like Rogue 1 basically then.

17 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:

TFA is pretty good but there is a huge fuck up in that movie...and that is allowing Rey to kick Kylo Ren's ass from the jump.  Once you've seen that happen out of the box what fucking tension is there when those two come head to head?  It's sort of the reverse of the mistake of the prequels where they made Anakin a huge gaping pussy who kept stupidly getting his ass kicked...when supposedly he was a cunning warrior.

Since you in theory knew his backstory it was fine to have him kicking ass out of the box.  But they fucked up his arc by letting him get constantly beat down (besides all the emo shit of course).  It would have been better if he only gets defeated by Obi Wan at the end when hate/anger/hubris has finally consumed him. 

Rey should go from talented but vulnerable to badass (a la Luke)

This shit isn't hard.

Hell, Anakin blew up a whole fucking droid controlling space ship and saved Naboo when he was 8 years old.  How could anyone expect to continue upon that trajectory?

 

When all else fails, I use the kid test.  When watching R1, my kid was glued to the front of his seat and whispered to me about 5 minutes in, "this is gonna be really good"

After the prank phone call by Poe to Whiny Red head he looked at me and mouthed "WTF????"

Edited by mulletpelini
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I think at the core, Disney is too focused on making a community college catalog instead entertaining movies. No amount of mental gymnastics can get past:

- Rey: all of a sudden the this ancient Force / Jedi religion manifests itself in this girl with no knowledge or training, she just suddenly is the most powerful Jedi in the universe?

- Kylo Ren: he's so powerful that it scares Luke to the point of killing his own nephew, but the guy cannot beat a Stormjanitors, Rey, or a couple of Imperial Guards? 

The original trilogy worked because 1) Vadar was a baddass villain and 2) we were brought along Luke's journey from bratty farm kid to Jedi. There was some connection teased and we saw it unfold onscreen with the real tension inside each, struggling between who they are emotionally and who they are intellectually. In the new movies, the end is already decided - Ren is not a villain anyone is afraid of, and Rey apparently already is Yoda, so there is no investment in either. The only remotely interesting characters are Poe and BB-8.

Don't get me started on the biggest abortion of all ... Captain Phasma ... I want to say, "we get it Disney, girls can be Storm Troopers too." What a freaking waste of space ... My only question is does she use a silver tampon?

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4 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

Hell, Anakin blew up a whole fucking droid controlling space ship and saved Naboo when he was 8 years old. 

by accident

Rey's character is one of the worst written of any move this decade. "I'm nobody, but as soon as you ask me to do anything, no matter what it is, I can do it better than any other character in the movie universe". 

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4 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

by accident

Rey's character is one of the worst written of any move this decade. "I'm nobody, but as soon as you ask me to do anything, no matter what it is, I can do it better than any other character in the movie universe". 

She's the ultimate Millenial Mary Sue.

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Leaving aside all of the "force is female" stuff, etc, etc, Rey is just not a good character. If you wrote a movie like that and made her character male, people would take it as a send-up of hero movies and assume you were joking. I mean she's basically Jack Slater from "Last Action Hero" before he crosses over into the real world / they pull the curtain back on him a bit. 

The fact that The Force Awakens was derivative of stuff from the original trilogy... I have a hard time believing that really bothers anybody given how every generation from the Boomers down (but most especially Gen-X) loves being spoon-fed nostalgia and fan service. That's why Hollywood makes the movies it makes. Member berries. They've made movies out of 21 Jump Street, Baywatch, and plenty of other stuff that was barely enjoyed ironically when it first ran. It's not because they're out of ideas, it's because nostalgia is catnip for my generation and we not only don't mind being pandered to, we expect it. Thus 90 second of Darth Vader slicing up rebels with his Red Lightsaber is enough for people and the boring, pointless mess of Rogue One is "not that bad".

Being derivative wasn't the problem with The Force Awakens. It wasn't even in the top five. That's why it's generally liked and people defend it like they're Japanese holdouts in the Pacific in 1945.

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10 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

. I have a hard time believing that really bothers anybody given how every generation from the Boomers down (but most especially Gen-X) loves being spoon-fed nostalgia and fan service. That's why Hollywood makes the movies it makes. Member berries. They've made movies out of 21 Jump Street, Baywatch, and plenty of other stuff that was barely enjoyed ironically when it first ran.

the remakes of 21 jump street and baywatch is ass, my dude

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38 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

the remakes of 21 jump street and baywatch is ass, my dude

I will take your word for that. But to my point, 21 Jump Street made enough money that they made a sequel to it.

we will hit peak Gen-X nostalgia if they ever make a Thundercats movie and instead of laughing it out of the theaters on opening day, it breaks even or makes money

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2 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

I dated a prudish religious chick for a while because I thought it would be good for me. We went to see Baywatch and she walked out during the corpse taint/boner jokes never to speak to me again. 

That scene was hilarious.

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I dated a prudish religious chick for a while because I thought it would be good for me. We went to see Baywatch and she walked out during the corpse taint/boner jokes never to speak to me again. 


My born-again aunt walked put of Se7en, probably around the penis knife scene.
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On 2/1/2019 at 9:56 PM, Hate said:

Rogue One has been on pretty much all of the time over the last week and it’s so goddamn good compared to anything that came out after the original 3. Can’t they just get that guy to make all of the Star Wars movies from now on?

I've slowly realized over the past few years that Rogue One is probably my second favorite Star Wars movie after Empire.  It has a few problems, but overall it's just damn entertaining. Very re-watchable.

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I've slowly realized over the past few years that Rogue One is probably my second favorite Star Wars movie after Empire.  It has a few problems, but overall it's just damn entertaining. Very re-watchable.


Barry Sanders, Jr has got to be the best running back in Oklahoma St history. Just needed more carries.
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On 2/4/2019 at 11:51 AM, longhornmatt said:

I liked the 21 Jump Street movie.  It is a silly comedy and essentially a David Zucker parody of the original series that makes fun of how stupid the premise is, not an actual re-telling of 21Jump Street with faux reverence for the original series.   It barely has anything to do with the original show, actually.

Having said that, and to your main point, making movies that have a tinge of nostalgia combined with snarkily making fun of other people’s ideas instead of daring to do something original is perhaps even more Gen X than just being nostalgic.

I never saw the Baywatch movie.  I assume they went for the same tone with it, and that it sucked.  You can get more mileage out of poking fun at a 30 year old cops suddenly showing up as new high school students than poking fun at hot women wearing swimsuits in a show that was never meant to be taken seriously anyway.

The college, family brunch scene in 22 jump street with Ice Cube is 10 of the funniest minutes of this decade. 

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