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  1. MoJames

    MoJames

    Burnt Ends


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  2. texifornia

    texifornia

    Certifiably Surly


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  3. Brisketexan

    Brisketexan

    Legacy Members


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  4. Huckleberry

    Huckleberry

    Certifiably Surly


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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 12/11/19 in all areas

  1. You have got to stop with this bullshit about Anwar being a mouthpiece. He's a completely unconnected imbecile getting paid by another one. There will be flips if coordinators aren't named by NSD1. You're either being purposefully obtuse or willfully naive. None of this shit matters. New coordinators will be named within the next few days, at the latest.
    15 points
  2. Harrell just friended Greg Davis on Myspace.
    15 points
  3. I have to say, I'm actually encouraged by the fact this is taking a while. I was resigned to the fact that Herman would make more comfort hires because that's who he is. But think about it. Let's all pretend for a minute that this hiring process is going exactly how we wanted it to go. Herman is not making comfort hires while only considering people he already knows. He is researching candidates, determining best fits for the program, interviewing the top candidates, and deciding from there. In this crazy world where Texas football is actually doing something right, where would we be 10 days after announcing we're making changes and 4 days after the regular season ends for all potential candidates? We'd be right where we are. Rumors of candidates but no leaks from inside Bellmont. Internet fans who were whining 10 days ago about how we were going to make stupid comfort hires quickly now whining about how we haven't hired anyone yet so we're doomed. Don't get me wrong, I still don't see Herman surviving here long-term, but shouldn't we all admit that this might be going exactly how we wanted it to go when the Tech game went final?
    14 points
  4. I called Herman and CDC this morning and asked this question. They explained the situation with a very appropriate discussion of koalas. Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognize it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behavior to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
    13 points
  5. Yep. It's occured to me that there's an interesting symmetry happening. Trump's fans idolize him because they think he's cut from the same cloth. But he looks down on them as a bunch of rubes that he can play like a fiddle. At the same time, Trump idolizes Putin because he thinks they're cut from the same cloth. But Putin looks down on Trump as a rube that he can play like a fiddle. It takes a real bastard to use people that way and a real idiot to not be able to tell when it's happening to you. Putin is the bastard. Trump's supporters are the idiots. And Trump is both the bastard and the idiot at the same time.
    13 points
  6. Finally something that may rile the Aggie base.
    11 points
  7. That's made up bullshit, at least it reads that way to me. Herman is a lot of things, but even he isn't retarded enough to believe that a coordinator being woo'd by Texas isn't immediately going to go back to his agent and the school currently employed at and use it to leverage for the best possible deal regardless. In other words, no school is going to be fucking left flat flooted without a chance to counter. Period. What a stupid fucking whine. Also, if anyone didn't think LSU had tentative plans to keep brady as of fucking September they're dumber than Daddy98 after a 5 day bender of huffing gasoline.
    10 points
  8. That's how you end up with Bob Stoops on your roof on Christmas Eve.
    10 points
  9. The only thing I've gotten from the past 3 pages is hungry.
    9 points
  10. 2017- Both Toenail Carter and Young were committed before Drayton was hired. The staff chose to take Carter over Eno Benjamin, but this had nothing to do with Drayton. Incomplete grade. 2018- Landed the consensus top running back in the state, Ingram, who was a natural Texas lean. A&M and LSU were after him hard. Things got difficult behind the scenes once Jimbo was hired and attempted to pull out all the stops. Chip Brown's article didn't help here. Drayton closed on a recruitment that appeared to be over for most of the cycle but got hairy at the end, but this was mostly a recruitment that a replacement level RB coach at a school like Texas should close. I believe the play was to only take one RB in the class. Still no complaints, has mostly done his job as a recruiter at this point. 2019- Noah Cain and Deondrick Glass, known prospects since their freshmen years, are identified as targets early, although the staff never falls in love with Glass enough to recruit him like they want him. Cain transfers to IMG and rooms with 5* Trey Sanders, who eventually visits and silently commits; the staff knows he's likely full of shit, but continues to recruit him just in case. Eventual OU commits Marcus Major and Rhamondre Stevenson eventually become targets as well; Stevenson as a potential RB1, Major as an RB2 type. Georgia RB Derrian Brown is taken as a fine RB2 option; Drayton had some help here from other coaches. Late riser DJ Williams seems to be an option, but Texas never went all in on him; perhaps he had his hand out, given the teams recruiting him? The sum of the interest from Cain and Sanders, to a lesser extent guys like Stevenson and Glass, and Jordan Whittington turning into a potential running back option late in his senior season once he returned from injury leads to the staff never seriously pursuing adequate RB takes like Darwin Barlow, Daimarique Foster, and King Doerue; the three are arguably RB2 types who might be RB1.5s if you squint hard enough, but depth is a potential concern. I think down the stretch Texas knows they aren't landing Sanders, and puts their eggs in the Cain train. After they miss on Cain, they pass on pursuing Glass and the other RB1.5-RB2 types while thinking that Whittington and Brown are enough, with an eye towards a historically loaded 2021 RB class, both locally and nationally. Whiffing on Noah Cain here while not finding a replacement between the Glass/Foster/Doerue/Barlow types in-state or any other adequate options out of state is Drayton's single big recruiting whiff of his Texas tenure at this point, and it's a big one considering his only previous big recruitment was Ingram. Landing Brown as a RB2 was good, not landing another RB was terrible; Brown has an unexpected career threatening illness, and then Whittington gets injured, and a true freshman QB is forced into the lineup. Someone like Glass or Foster would have helped there. 2020- In a historically loaded RB class, both locally and nationally, means the RB class is a failure if the class doesn't land at least one heavily pursued running back, preferably a 5*. Drayton closes the deal with arguably the best of the best over strong competition from Ohio State and deserves strong applause for this recruitment, and then lands an interesting Darren Sproles/Quentin Griffin type of RB2 in Ty Jordan. The national class being so strong helps Drayton land a 5* since the supply is high leading to less competition than you'd typically expect, but landing a 5* means you're doing your job, and then some. Ty Jordan decommits, which isn't a big deal if he's replaced. Tre Bradford would be an adequate replacement, arguably an improvement, and would give Drayton at least an A-grade for this class. TLDR: Drayton had nothing to do with 2017, did fine in 2018, did poorly in 2019, and great for 2020. Mixed bag; ok, poor, and great, so far.
    9 points
  11. You are being negged, not cause you support Trump, but because everything yoi laid out is a lie or gross distortion. Just once I would like to see one of you Trumpkins state a truthful defense of trumps actions. Since you all just resort to lying and making shit up let me help you. This is what your argument would look like if you were honest: Yea what Trump did was wrong and immoral. A president probably shouldn’t seek foreign interfere in our elections or promote Russian propaganda to harm our allies, but you know what? I don’t give a shit cause he’s on my team. And yea, maybe he shouldn’t be exploding the deficit, but fuck it I’ll be dead in a few decades and it isn’t my problem. I am making bank and that’s what i care about. Also I like that he makes people that I don’t like mad. I like that a lot. I know what I am saying is not conducive to a healthy democracy but again I don’t give a flying fuck. Its about me and my team. See....that is honest. Just say it trumpkins. You know you want to. There are no consequences anymore so let it rip. The honesty would be refreshing
    9 points
  12. On Cain, I’ve never passed this on because of all the noise about his recruitment, but fuck it. He calls the morning of signing day and he thinks he’s ready to sign with Texas. Herman gets into a semantics argument with him about the word “thinks” and what it implies about commitment. Cain goes to school and signs with Penn State. Texas is shocked and cues up the podium story.
    8 points
  13. I’m half convinced you didn’t really leave the GOP but just switched to a propaganda role with a mission to infiltrate the Left and spread dismay and apathy. Stop being such a pussy. There are more of us than there are of them. Trumpists are loud, mainly because Russians are hooping and hollering along with them. But they’re outnumbered by a fairly significant margin. We just need to get out the vote.
    7 points
  14. We agreed to only buy gifts for the kid. Do grown ups really need presents for Christmas ?
    7 points
  15. You should contact CDC and share this with him immediately. I'm sure he hasn't thought of any of this. Hell, CDC might even offer you an assistant AD position.
    7 points
  16. Surly: mEnSa just gonna hire one of his friends with no due diligence and no real vetting of major candidates preparing for bowl games. It’s going to be a disaster. Also Surly: Why is the coaching change taking so long?! It’s a disaster! Surly: What is the point of having coaches who can recruit but not coach? It’s a disaster. Akso Surly: We need to have hired people who can recruit by now, ya know, for recruiting! It’s a disaster!
    7 points
  17. 7 points
  18. Terribly late timing, but I just got a new PC + photoshop last weekend. Inspired by this post:
    6 points
  19. I think I hate Chip Brown less than I hate Wescott Eberts. And I'd like to see Chip Brown flayed alive and then slowly set on fire a bit at a time. Maybe extinguishing the fire with some acid at times.
    6 points
  20. I love when I open this thread to see a lot of new posts and assume that there must be an actual development. Of course it's actually just chicken sandwich tweet debates, because why wouldn't it be?
    6 points
  21. Playoffs in 4 of 5 last seasons, within one game of WS in 2017 and within two games in 2019 = “living hell”. This level of entitlement and self-importance is why everyone hates Yankee fans, especially bandwagon fans not from NYC.
    6 points
  22. I had to click the link to see the author of that shallow piece of shit. It’s Kevin Sherrington. Now nobody else needs to click.
    6 points
  23. i swear to god, i would be willing to deal with another season of beck and orlando if it meant you were never allowed to start another thread.
    6 points
  24. I’m about to sweep the leg on some of the stupid motherfuckers on this thread.
    5 points
  25. Herman waiting on final report from Korn-Faget.
    5 points
  26. in my house frozen pizza serves two purposes: 1. feed hungry kids 2. feed drunk parents neither of those has time to let a frozen pizza thaw.
    5 points
  27. No help for Doom, but I'm here to celebrate my 12th Re-Birthday. Y'all make it very comfortable.
    5 points
  28. If Harrell wasn't coming we would know by now - USC would have announced it. Herman is taking his time because there is no reason to rush the hire. He doesn't give a shit whether you or I 'like' his hire.
    5 points
  29. Let's just say... inexpensive...
    5 points
  30. Also Surly: Hey, South Austin, is your mom free tonight?
    5 points
  31. I'm more partial to Merry Holidays. those are some people who don't even know the most fundamental basics of their own religion as Easter is a celebration of the resurrection from death of Christ and ascension to heaven at the right hand of God the Father. There is literally no "Merrier" day in the Christian religion than that one. Ash Wednesday would be the solemn day in remembrance of the murder of Christ at the hands of the Romans yet Christians have the ritual of partying like their lives are about to end the day before it. This is what I say to people who questioned me about religion. 99% of the people that believe this stuff don't even really know what they're believing. They just believe it because they were born into families that believed it and were made as children to believe it. It's nothing more than cultural brainwashing of the highest order and it boggles my mind how as adults people refuse to question the supernatural things they were inundated with as a child. I mean at least study it enough to know what you're actually fucking believing.
    5 points
  32. If you’re worried about the assault on Christmas, you should see what you’ve done to Christianity
    5 points
  33. Can't believe how you dumbasses can't crack this code - it obviously means we're getting Urban, and MensaTom is moving down to OC. Popeyes = Pope Yes. MensaTom will be back on OJT for the next couple of years. The OC part, he's got already, but he has a lot to learn from Urban. It's a win-win-win for errbody.
    4 points
  34. When Colorado left the Big 12 for the Pac, they had more alumni living in California than in the entire non-Colorado Big 12 footprint. Their alumni were unhappy that the Colorado Big 12 games weren't being televised in California and that they couldn't follow their team on tv during the season. Demand to be able to watch Colorado games in California is THE reason Colorado left the Big 12 for the Pac. Period. The alumni wanted it and the school gave it to them. Their move to the Pac had NOTHING to do with The University of Texas at Austin.
    4 points
  35. I'm assuming there's other pigeons there in a hard hat, an Indian head dress and a police officers cap. It's a Vegas tribute band.
    4 points
  36. What’s their combined and individual conference record? Since we are talking about conferences and not how often you can get lamar on your schedule.
    4 points
  37. Aggy is better off, butmore importantly, we’re WAY the fuck better off.
    4 points
  38. Back in ancient times when I still got the paper I'd often get it in my boxers. I checked the peep hole and no one was around so I headed out to get it. Got the paper and started heading back in and coming up the sidewalk that led from my driveway to the front door and out of the view of my peep hole are 4 old lady jehovas in their sunday best. So we stood there for a second just kinda staring at each other, then I tell them I'm not sure what you're hear to talk about but I'm good, and head inside.
    4 points
  39. I might have told this story before, sorry in advance. I used to have jehovas witness or maybe LDS people swing by on Sunday way more often than anyone ever would need. The exchange always went the same and I always tried to kindly shoo them off and convince them to never come again, I was unsuccessful until one special Sunday. My first child was a very difficult baby and very difficult to get to sleep. The weekend had been brutal with not enough sleep and we had finally got the kid to actually sleep. I went outside to work on a project and that is when it happened. All I heard was the wife's yappy dog start barking, then a baby screaming. The wife comes outside and angrily tells me someone is knocking on our front door despite the sign clearly stating "Do not disturb, baby sleeping." I instantly lost my shit, stomped around to the front of the house and starting yelling at the idiot before I could even see who it was. Well it was two young kids dressed in their LDS outfits, maybe 14-15 years old and they were visibly terrified of me. That was when I realized, I was still holding the pick axe I had been using to dig in the backyard. They ended up running away before I really realized how crazy I looked. They have never returned and I am pretty sure they never will.
    4 points
  40. Why would anyone wage war on a fake holiday attributing the springtime birth of a human to the date of the Roman solstice holiday "Saturnalia" as a way of assimilating conquered and brutalized natives to yet another new religion with new dieties sometime around the 4th century? Should we also be waging war on the Athenian holidays of Anthesteria, Apaturia, Dionysia, and just to follow with our mysoginistic society Thesmophoria too? Why not? Let's wage war on it all.
    4 points
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