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1 hour ago, HoustonHorn said:

Seems like you should go to the strip club and put the syrup on the dancers tits.

Breakfast at Hooter's? I coulda sworn I saw that movie some drunken night.

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3 hours ago, lateshow said:

I got my wife to fill out a bracket for the Tourney.

She picked Duke to beat Kentucky in the final, with the final score set at 28-22.

Bitches love defense.

16 hours ago, lateshow said:

I got my wife to fill out a bracket for the Tourney.

She picked Duke to beat Kentucky in the final, with the final score set at 28-22.

Ask her when she thinks Kentucky is going to go for 2.

On 3/21/2019 at 10:41 PM, UT_OB1 said:

Glitter can suck, but you may be on a different spectrum yourself if that shit keeps you up until 4 cleaning. 

    First, no broad is going to stop me from eating some delicious pancakes or waffles simply because "she doesn't like syrup". Fuck out of here with that.

    Second, I ain't cleaning up shit. As a matter of fact I would go out and buy more glitter, come home and throw the shit all over the house. Then I would simply sit my happy ass down and watch the game. This is a simple lesson that you teach a kid who loves to throw their shit all around their room. Cleaning it up themselves in the only way to learn.

Edited by Thatguy

  My wife pulls up in the driveway talking on the phone. Goes and gets changed-still talking on the phone. We drive our daughter to Vball practice, and she stays outside for the entire hour and a half talking on the phone. After practice we drive to the gym and she is still talking on the phone. My daughter and I are literally standing outside the gym staring at her when I finally said "call her back!!!!".

                                                                                              Tone

 

  I know this is no surprise to anyone on this thread, I just wanted you guys to know when its happening to you that somewhere some poor asshole is suffering just like you. Now raise a glass if you are me.

Your back to back posts say what would do, and then show what you actually do and put up with.

23 hours ago, lateshow said:

I got my wife to fill out a bracket for the Tourney.

She picked Duke to beat Kentucky in the final, with the final score set at 28-22.

 If there's one thing wives hate, it's scoring. 

Quote

My wife has a thing about syrup, absolutely detests it to the point she doesn't want it in her vicinity, so I abide and we don't do syrup in this house.

I understand you doing what is needed to keep a happy home. But, I'll be damned if my wife is going to stop me from keeping something like syrup in my house. She doesn't have to touch, taste, smell or look at it. If I want some mutha fucking syrup, I'm gone have me some mutha fucking syrup.

7 hours ago, Thatguy said:

  My wife pulls up in the driveway talking on the phone. Goes and gets changed-still talking on the phone. We drive our daughter to Vball practice, and she stays outside for the entire hour and a half talking on the phone. After practice we drive to the gym and she is still talking on the phone. My daughter and I are literally standing outside the gym staring at her when I finally said "call her back!!!!".

                                                                                              Tone

 

  I know this is no surprise to anyone on this thread, I just wanted you guys to know when its happening to you that somewhere some poor asshole is suffering just like you. Now raise a glass if you are me.

Tuesday wife comes home at 5 on the phone, I cook dinner, it's ready at 6, I tell her, she keeps talking till 6:15 and finally comes to table.

Next night she's out with her friends and the kids and I call her at 6 to find out if I need to cook, pick something up, or I'm on my own for dinner. Son answers her phone. I ask him to put mom on. I can hear her tell him she's busy and will call later. I tell him to give her the phone now. She finally gets on the phone and before I can say anything says "I'm at dinner with friends, and can't talk now. "  hands phone back to kid.  Have to have kid ask her the question.

 

If my wife pulled that shit, I'd open up my Phone Finder app, locate her phone, then lock it with a code that only I know. Then I'd wait for her to get home. Her "tone" would determine when her phone gets unlocked.

I've had to activate the phone ringing (even if on silent) to get my wife's attention when she doesn't respond to a text or call and I need immediate response, but my wife has learned that I don't do that for stupid reasons.

45 minutes ago, blacklab said:

Tuesday wife comes home at 5 on the phone, I cook dinner, it's ready at 6, I tell her, she keeps talking till 6:15 and finally comes to table.

Next night she's out with her friends and the kids and I call her at 6 to find out if I need to cook, pick something up, or I'm on my own for dinner. Son answers her phone. I ask him to put mom on. I can hear her tell him she's busy and will call later. I tell him to give her the phone now. She finally gets on the phone and before I can say anything says "I'm at dinner with friends, and can't talk now. "  hands phone back to kid.  Have to have kid ask her the question.

 

Sorry, but if that was my wife the only answer she would ever get for the next few months (or for however long it takes for her to pack her shit and leave) would be "I'm busy and can't talk now".

Edited by NeverMarryAStripper

1 hour ago, blacklab said:

Tuesday wife comes home at 5 on the phone, I cook dinner, it's ready at 6, I tell her, she keeps talking till 6:15 and finally comes to table.

Next night she's out with her friends and the kids and I call her at 6 to find out if I need to cook, pick something up, or I'm on my own for dinner. Son answers her phone. I ask him to put mom on. I can hear her tell him she's busy and will call later. I tell him to give her the phone now. She finally gets on the phone and before I can say anything says "I'm at dinner with friends, and can't talk now. "  hands phone back to kid.  Have to have kid ask her the question.

 

Take it to the wives and the inconsiderate or vindictive shit they do thread. 

I would most definitely point these actions out to my wife and tell her I expect the same respect she gives her friend, or there will be consequences and repercussions. 

Mrs stanco at noon: I'll be gone to the store and back in about 45 minutes.

Tick tock tick tock.

8 minutes ago, markstanco said:

Mrs stanco at noon: I'll be gone to the store and back in about 45 minutes.

Tick tock tick tock.

We decided on a second round.  I'll send her home soon.

2 hours ago, blacklab said:

Tuesday wife comes home at 5 on the phone, I cook dinner, it's ready at 6, I tell her, she keeps talking till 6:15 and finally comes to table.

Next night she's out with her friends and the kids and I call her at 6 to find out if I need to cook, pick something up, or I'm on my own for dinner. Son answers her phone. I ask him to put mom on. I can hear her tell him she's busy and will call later. I tell him to give her the phone now. She finally gets on the phone and before I can say anything says "I'm at dinner with friends, and can't talk now. "  hands phone back to kid.  Have to have kid ask her the question.

 

Rage. 

Mrs stanco at noon: I'll be gone to the store and back in about 45 minutes.

Tick tock tick tock.


You knew when she told you that it was a lie. It takes longer than that to fight the dumbasses on Richmond. I don’t even ask my wife anymore.
6 hours ago, blacklab said:

Tuesday wife comes home at 5 on the phone, I cook dinner, it's ready at 6, I tell her, she keeps talking till 6:15 and finally comes to table.

Next night she's out with her friends and the kids and I call her at 6 to find out if I need to cook, pick something up, or I'm on my own for dinner. Son answers her phone. I ask him to put mom on. I can hear her tell him she's busy and will call later. I tell him to give her the phone now. She finally gets on the phone and before I can say anything says "I'm at dinner with friends, and can't talk now. "  hands phone back to kid.  Have to have kid ask her the question.

 

 

Damn, you got one for everyday of the week?

On 3/22/2019 at 10:26 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

I put a glue-like substance on your mom last night.

Sounds like someone needs to hydrate.



You knew when she told you that it was a lie. It takes longer than that to fight the dumbasses on Richmond. I don’t even ask my wife anymore.
Of course.

Ok, syrup wife must be hot because she’s crazy. My wife can’t stand seafood (loves to fish/scallop). Can’t stand the smell. She knows the UF/LSU game is full Cajun food and sucks it up.

The phone thing she used to do (along with two kids in VB on two teams each) so every night requires a lot of planning. She’d be on with her sister or mom. She knows if I call her, it’s important since I don’t call her to chat.

There are no girls nights out, that belongs in the stupid shit husbands allow thread.


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Ah man, you might want to reconsider the girls' nights out- mine coming home with a buzz usually ends well for me...!

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4 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

So she comes home and passes out without talking?

The lesser known happy ending.

10 hours ago, Flg8rfan said:


There are no girls nights out, that belongs in the stupid shit husbands allow thread.
 

Image result for huh gif

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11 hours ago, Flg8rfan said:



There are no girls nights out, that belongs in the stupid shit husbands allow thread.


 

Is her burqa the kind that shows or hides the eyes?

23 hours ago, blacklab said:

Tuesday wife comes home at 5 on the phone, I cook dinner, it's ready at 6, I tell her, she keeps talking till 6:15 and finally comes to table.

Next night she's out with her friends and the kids and I call her at 6 to find out if I need to cook, pick something up, or I'm on my own for dinner. Son answers her phone. I ask him to put mom on. I can hear her tell him she's busy and will call later. I tell him to give her the phone now. She finally gets on the phone and before I can say anything says "I'm at dinner with friends, and can't talk now. "  hands phone back to kid.  Have to have kid ask her the question.

 

Oh hell naw

Is her burqa the kind that shows or hides the eyes?



She can do what she wants to do.



She can do what she wants to do.


As long as it’s what you want her to do?
On 3/23/2019 at 2:05 PM, Pato del Muerto said:

Take it to the wives and the inconsiderate or vindictive shit they do thread. 

I would most definitely point these actions out to my wife and tell her I expect the same respect she gives her friend, or there will be consequences and repercussions. 

I’m going to have to try this one. So, I just tell her what she did wrong and that there will be consequences and repercussions next time it happens? Just for clarification, do I swat her on the nose with the newspaper before or after telling her this? Or is time out a better practice?

Edited by Brew

39 minutes ago, Brew said:

I’m going to have to try this one. So, I just tell her what she did wrong and that there will be consequences and repercussions next time it happens? Just for clarification, do I swat her on the nose with the newspaper before or after telling her this? Or is time out a better practice?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2jAwiq6YsE

11 hours ago, Flg8rfan said:

She can do what she wants to do.

 

 

You mean either type of burqa?

 

On 3/23/2019 at 5:33 AM, PilotsError said:

Your back to back posts say what would do, and then show what you actually do and put up with.

 

On 3/23/2019 at 6:47 AM, tbone_ said:

Yea you are that guy. Good luck.

   It was her mom on the phone. You never get between a woman and her mom. Especially when those parents have quite a bit of disposable income. Might as well pack up half your shit now. The sign out front shoulda told you.

Edited by Thatguy

On 3/23/2019 at 9:37 PM, Kennythetiger said:

Ah man, you might want to reconsider the girls' nights out- mine coming home with a buzz usually ends well for me...!

 

On 3/23/2019 at 10:40 PM, ABSR said:

The lesser known happy ending.

Either one will do fine.....

On 3/23/2019 at 8:51 PM, Flg8rfan said:

Ok, syrup wife must be hot because she’s crazy. My wife can’t stand seafood (loves to fish/scallop). Can’t stand the smell. She knows the UF/LSU game is full Cajun food and sucks it up.

The phone thing she used to do (along with two kids in VB on two teams each) so every night requires a lot of planning. She’d be on with her sister or mom. She knows if I call her, it’s important since I don’t call her to chat.

There are no girls nights out, that belongs in the stupid shit husbands allow thread.


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This is a guy who's well versed in the historic application of the "rule of thumb".

32 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

This is a guy who's well versed in the historic application of the "rule of thumb".

I always thought the "rule of thumb" was to apply rotation on the sugar plum.

On 3/22/2019 at 4:21 PM, ulukinatme said:

Keep in mind this was a glitter squishy ball, with some glue-like substance that was inside the ball.  It was not as simple as just vacuuming it up or using a lint roller, and the shit was everywhere.

It's a shame you only have one set of sheets and bed covers.

Change your shit and make the woman clean / wash everything the next day.  Which by the way, you said she got called into work, but you were still cleaning at 4 AM.  She work at the titter?

On 3/16/2019 at 12:21 PM, Brisketexan said:

My wife is very smart. Three degrees. Better read than I am. A cutting edge theologian.

But Goddamit, she has one grammar foible that drives me NUTS.

“So, I was talking to Jane Smith the other day - remember, I married SHE and her husband.”

Finally, today, I cracked. “No. You married HER and her husband. She is the object of the sentence, so it’s “her.””

Tone.

Sorry. I couldn’t take it anymore.

Pronoun confusion drives my wife and I nuts. 

3 hours ago, El Diablo said:

I always thought the "rule of thumb" was to apply rotation on the sugar plum.

Poke and stroke till your wrist goes numb.

On 3/23/2019 at 8:51 PM, Flg8rfan said:

There are no girls nights out, that belongs in the stupid shit husbands allow thread.
 

Who the hell wouldn't enjoy some occasional peace and quiet in the house while the wife is out?

On 3/23/2019 at 11:39 AM, Brothahorn said:

I understand you doing what is needed to keep a happy home. But, I'll be damned if my wife is going to stop me from keeping something like syrup in my house. She doesn't have to touch, taste, smell or look at it. If I want some mutha fucking syrup, I'm gone have me some mutha fucking syrup.

Wife said no beer in the house yada yada yada, she's been divorced for 18 years now.

5 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

It's a shame you only have one set of sheets and bed covers.

Change your shit and make the woman clean / wash everything the next day.  Which by the way, you said she got called into work, but you were still cleaning at 4 AM.  She work at the titter?

Nurse

 

 

 

 

outfit at the titter.

Edited by ulukinatme

1 hour ago, Angry Gorilla said:

Who the hell wouldn't enjoy some occasional peace and quiet in the house while the wife is out?

That, and there's almost no resistance when you want to go do the same thing.

And what Kenny said.

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