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Posted
42 minutes ago, HouTex said:

Watching the end of The Martian with Matt Damon being stranded on Mars and wife asks “is this a true story?”

got dayum. she must hump like a rabbit, tho.

Posted
1 hour ago, HouTex said:

Watching the end of The Martian with Matt Damon being stranded on Mars and wife asks “is this a true story?”

Of course it is.  Just wish they'd shown the part where they recovered Clooney floating around in space on the return trip.  

Posted
1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Because the Neanderthals were known for cooking with microwaves and not direct heat like, say, over a fire. 

Fine, buy a stove you middle class shitheads.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

You gonna bring something into our house that's gonna take all the nutrition out of our food then light our house on fire.  Thank God for me.  Fuck your science oven.

Edited by PatrickMcHorn
Posted
1 hour ago, PatrickMcHorn said:

You gonna bring something into our house that's gonna take all the nutrition out of our food then light our house on fire.  Thank God for me.  Fuck your science oven.

Wait, is this the new anti-vaxx, flat-earth thing? 

Posted
22 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

Wait, is this the new anti-vaxx, flat-earth thing? 

 

13 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Apparently at least some people think that “waves” make it dangerous.  Like it’s radiation that’s doing the heating. 

 

Posted
39 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

Wait, is this the new anti-vaxx, flat-earth thing? 

 

30 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Apparently at least some people think that “waves” make it dangerous.  Like it’s radiation that’s doing the heating. 

 

It's because they make the food taste like shit.

 

Posted
29 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

G650 had the same stupid spaz attack on the last site about microwaves where nobody sided with him and we all think hes weird. Nothings changed here

Pretty much.

Posted
5 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Is there a chance you don't own a microwave and don't know how they work?

 

Dude, we dont need to derail this thread for 10 pages again. Just go look at the the other site. 

 

5 minutes ago, miguelito said:

Hoooooot pocket!

Let's see a stove cook one of them sumbitches.

Yeah, precisely. 

Posted

Fuel pump finally failed (or is failing) in my wife's car. For the last 3 years I've been telling her to stop driving the car to the point where mileage until empty is in the single digits. I want to feel vindicated but now I have to fix it. I should just get a Tesla. 

Posted
8 hours ago, G650 said:

Dude, we dont need to derail this thread for 10 pages again. Just go look at the the other site. 

Got it. You don't own a microwave, don't know how they work, and think there are actually people who own only a microwave and not a regular oven/stove. 

  • Like 1
Posted
5 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Got it. You don't own a microwave, don't know how they work, and think there are actually people who own only a microwave and not a regular oven/stove. 

Nailed it.

Posted
On 11/13/2018 at 9:48 PM, Pato del Muerto said:

my wife likes to reheat coffee in the microwave and then walk away and forget about it. After it got cold because she walked away and forgot about it after drinking half a cup. 

Same here, but put it on repeat.  

Posted (edited)

My wife is painting the kitchen today in advance of us hosting family Thanksgiving, which in and of itself is stupid enough, but please stand by for future entries.

Edited by UTEX90
Posted
4 minutes ago, UTEX90 said:

My wife is painting the kitchen today in advance of us hosting family Thanksgiving, which in and of itself is stupid enough, but please stand by for future entries.

This gonna be good!

Posted

Wife (yeah now I'm a bona fide contributor) and I are honeymooning in a few weeks.

Few months ago she begged me to book a parasailing trip for while we are in Key West.

Last night we are watching parasailing footage on YouTube and she gets this terrified look and asks "wait, we have to go up in the air???"

She's afraid of heights. Won't drive over ship channel bridges and has to take xanax to get on a plane.

Had to remind her that even if the tow boat engine stops the worst that could happen is that we gently land in the water.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

Posted
Wife (yeah now I'm a bona fide contributor) and I are honeymooning in a few weeks.

Few months ago she begged me to book a parasailing trip for while we are in Key West.

Last night we are watching parasailing footage on YouTube and she gets this terrified look and asks "wait, we have to go up in the air???"

She's afraid of heights. Won't drive over ship channel bridges and has to take xanax to get on a plane.

Had to remind her that even if the tow boat engine stops the worst that could happen is that we gently land in the water.




Does she also have a thunder blanket when it storms?
  • Haha 1
Posted
4 hours ago, UTEX90 said:

My wife is painting the kitchen today in advance of us hosting family Thanksgiving, which in and of itself is stupid enough, but please stand by for future entries.

congratulations on your new appliances

  • Like 6
  • Haha 1
Posted
3 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Wife (yeah now I'm a bona fide contributor) and I are honeymooning in a few weeks.

Few months ago she begged me to book a parasailing trip for while we are in Key West.

Last night we are watching parasailing footage on YouTube and she gets this terrified look and asks "wait, we have to go up in the air???"

She's afraid of heights. Won't drive over ship channel bridges and has to take xanax to get on a plane.

Had to remind her that even if the tow boat engine stops the worst that could happen is that we gently land in the water.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
 

need her to rewatch the 3rd (?) Jurasic Park movie with the parasailing scene at the beginning.

Posted

Friday morning wife is headed to Austin from Houston area to visit a friend. She was leaving at 8am. She took her mom’s car (newer and more reliable than mine and I need her’s because of car seats).

I get a call at 8:24 that goes like this:

Her: I’ve done a bad thing. Don’t get mad.
Me: What?
Her: (getting upset, but obviously driving) I don’t know how it happened and I think it’s really bad.
Me: What is it?
Her: I got in a wreck. In my mom’s car. I hit our neighbor’s new mailbox.
Me: (long pause) That’s it? Where are you? Her: (said wherever on her way, seemed a lot farther than she should have been) [she went on how only daughter was home and left msg with neighbors wife and I would have to deal with this over the weekend]
Me: What happened?
Her: Don’t get mad I’m already upset.
Me: I’m not mad, I’m asking what happened.


Somehow she’s in the car in front of our house and starts entering her cousin’s new address into Waze. The car is rolling and she doesn’t realize it. When she does, car is either hitting the curb or hitting the mailbox. I couldn’t tell if the car was really in park or not. It’s an Acura MDX.

My BIL who is very detailed was driving that car once and got out (also in front of my house). The car started rolling away and almost ran him over. He swore up and down it was in park. He hates the car. And I’m pretty sure it’s rolled after FIL has claimed to put it in park.

So we discussed it, I got her to calm down before she continued her drive and she made it.

Mailbox wasn’t that bad. I bent it back in place. Neighbor will probably want to replace it, and that’s fine.

MIL laughed when wife called to tell her.

Posted

Could be 25% technologie's fault but... heading to Austin for the game.  Traffic jam in Waco.  Alt route suggested on phone.  Wife is all "turn here, no left, straight".  We ended up - literally - in the middle of Baylor's campus during a game.

  • Like 4

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