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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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1 hour ago, You don't know me said:

Hey, at least it's 5 boys and not 5 girls.  Holy shit, I'd probably be dead by now.

true story, my first post-college job,  worked with a guy, who had also just graduated and got married pretty quick.

He had 3 girls in 4 years.  Nuts, but not bonkers, He got promoted to Manager and he and his wife decided to have one more kid.... not sure if they were really trying for a boy, or just another kid.

she gets preggo again.......

triplets....... all girls......    

 

SIX girls under the age of 5.5,   He left the company shortly afterward  taking a promotion.   Im sure he had to, not sure how the fuck you can afford to raise 6 kids in under 6 years of difference.

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My sister had her 2nd girl before the 1st girls 1st birthday, her 3rd girl a couple months after the first turned 2, 1st boy when oldest was 3.5, 2nd boy when oldest was 5.25, 4th girl just before oldest was 7, and 3rd boy just before oldest turned 9. Seven kids age 9 or younger at the time. Oldest is now 23 with one kid and another on the way.

 

And no - you don't want to see pics.

 

 

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My sister had her 2nd girl before the 1st girls 1st birthday, her 3rd girl a couple months after the first turned 2, 1st boy when oldest was 3.5, 2nd boy when oldest was 5.25, 4th girl just before oldest was 7, and 3rd boy just before oldest turned 9. Seven kids age 9 or younger at the time. Oldest is now 23 with one kid and another on the way.
 
And no - you don't want to see pics.
 
 
.18fff2edd6404ebc4518f30ebf2ed7ee.jpg
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On 9/29/2018 at 11:17 PM, Spur08 said:

? Explain.  I'm always supposed to pick up to-go food?  Particularly at places that don't serve any alcohol?

That’s when you slam tall boys and hit vape pens in the car when picking up fast food. Always take the opportunity to pick up dinner. 

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15 hours ago, Modessit said:

My sister had her 2nd girl before the 1st girls 1st birthday, her 3rd girl a couple months after the first turned 2, 1st boy when oldest was 3.5, 2nd boy when oldest was 5.25, 4th girl just before oldest was 7, and 3rd boy just before oldest turned 9. Seven kids age 9 or younger at the time. Oldest is now 23 with one kid and another on the way.

 

And no - you don't want to see pics.

 

 

Do all their names start with the same letter?

150803-allen-duggars-tease_ukiznx

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My sister had her 2nd girl before the 1st girls 1st birthday, her 3rd girl a couple months after the first turned 2, 1st boy when oldest was 3.5, 2nd boy when oldest was 5.25, 4th girl just before oldest was 7, and 3rd boy just before oldest turned 9. Seven kids age 9 or younger at the time. Oldest is now 23 with one kid and another on the way.
 
And no - you don't want to see pics.
 
 
Thats a lot of pushing but wtf is wrong with them? Did their fucking make the stitches from birth fall out faster? This is insane
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On 10/1/2018 at 4:31 PM, Modessit said:

My sister had her 2nd girl before the 1st girls 1st birthday, her 3rd girl a couple months after the first turned 2, 1st boy when oldest was 3.5, 2nd boy when oldest was 5.25, 4th girl just before oldest was 7, and 3rd boy just before oldest turned 9. Seven kids age 9 or younger at the time. Oldest is now 23 with one kid and another on the way.

 

And no - you don't want to see pics.

 

 

Irish triplets.

Edited by Nolacycling
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On 9/7/2018 at 7:28 AM, Reagan1k said:

Yeah-  If where my head hits the pillow at night is in question......I'm making the reservations.

I may have a kitchen faucet replacement that'll cost me $100k, but I'm always sure of where I have a place to sleep.

Yeah she is typically really good about these kinds of things. She's a planner who loves doing that kind of shit and I don't really care to do it because then I can't get it wrong and don't have to deal with more bullshit. Everything worked out in the end and was honestly the first time that I've actually gotten pissed at her. I think that makes me a pretty lucky guy for the most part. 

 

Feel free to neg away.

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I work from home so I'm usually the one who "gets ready" for the cleaning lady each week. I don't travel a whole lot, but I do travel for work some and Mrs CL has lately started complaining lately about the cleaning lady coming when I'm out of town. Apparently it's too much work for her to spend the 10 minutes that I normally spend getting the house ready picking up dirty clothes and putting away breakfast dishes. She says it's hard enough already to get the kids out of bed and off to school by herself. (Normally this is my job, too)

This week I have to leave town. Cleaning lady is supposed to come on Wednesday (today). Mrs CL tells me to tell the cleaning lady not to come at all. She "can't handle" the extra work. I tell her OK, but point out that the house will now go two weeks without getting cleaned up and it needs it.

Never fear she says, I'll do a little cleaning myself before I go to work. I ask about this obvious contradiction and apparently that's a TONE-worthy question I shouldn't be asking. 

These are the texts I started getting during my breakfast meeting this morning in Chicago:

Vacuum%20Texts.png

 

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5 minutes ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

I work from home so I'm usually the one who "gets ready" for the cleaning lady each week. I don't travel a whole lot, but I do travel for work some and Mrs CL has lately started complaining lately about the cleaning lady coming when I'm out of town. Apparently it's too much work for her to spend the 10 minutes that I normally spend getting the house ready picking up dirty clothes and putting away breakfast dishes. She says it's hard enough already to get the kids out of bed and off to school by herself. (Normally this is my job, too)

This week I have to leave town. Cleaning lady is supposed to come on Wednesday (today). Mrs CL tells me to tell the cleaning lady not to come at all. She "can't handle" the extra work. I tell her OK, but point out that the house will now go two weeks without getting cleaned up and it needs it.

Never fear she says, I'll do a little cleaning myself before I go to work. I ask about this obvious contradiction and apparently that's a TONE-worthy question I shouldn't be asking. 

These are the texts I started getting during my breakfast meeting this morning in Chicago:

Vacuum%20Texts.png

 

She's a charmer!

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Wife and I have a nice dinner tonight.  Great evening having sushi, sake, and just hanging.

We get home.  Put the infant down to bed.  While in the kitchen I notice skunk smell from outside and ask where the dog is.  Wife goes outside and dog has been sprayed in the mouth.  Mouth starts foaming because of the spray and wife thinks he's dying.  She drags the dog into our room and screams "Google how to see if skunks give dogs rabies.".  I reply, "get the fucking dog out of our room!".  

It took me saying this five times to get the goddamn dog out of the room.  I'm not helping get the odor out one bit and will sleep in the guest room until she figures it out.
"

Edited by GlenFromTheMailRoom
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35 minutes ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

I work from home so I'm usually the one who "gets ready" for the cleaning lady each week. I don't travel a whole lot, but I do travel for work some and Mrs CL has lately started complaining lately about the cleaning lady coming when I'm out of town. Apparently it's too much work for her to spend the 10 minutes that I normally spend getting the house ready picking up dirty clothes and putting away breakfast dishes. She says it's hard enough already to get the kids out of bed and off to school by herself. (Normally this is my job, too)

This week I have to leave town. Cleaning lady is supposed to come on Wednesday (today). Mrs CL tells me to tell the cleaning lady not to come at all. She "can't handle" the extra work. I tell her OK, but point out that the house will now go two weeks without getting cleaned up and it needs it.

Never fear she says, I'll do a little cleaning myself before I go to work. I ask about this obvious contradiction and apparently that's a TONE-worthy question I shouldn't be asking. 

These are the texts I started getting during my breakfast meeting this morning in Chicago:

Vacuum%20Texts.png

 

She better give great head

Edited by NeverMarryAStripper
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56 minutes ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

I work from home so I'm usually the one who "gets ready" for the cleaning lady each week. I don't travel a whole lot, but I do travel for work some and Mrs CL has lately started complaining lately about the cleaning lady coming when I'm out of town. Apparently it's too much work for her to spend the 10 minutes that I normally spend getting the house ready picking up dirty clothes and putting away breakfast dishes. She says it's hard enough already to get the kids out of bed and off to school by herself. (Normally this is my job, too)

This week I have to leave town. Cleaning lady is supposed to come on Wednesday (today). Mrs CL tells me to tell the cleaning lady not to come at all. She "can't handle" the extra work. I tell her OK, but point out that the house will now go two weeks without getting cleaned up and it needs it.

Never fear she says, I'll do a little cleaning myself before I go to work. I ask about this obvious contradiction and apparently that's a TONE-worthy question I shouldn't be asking. 

These are the texts I started getting during my breakfast meeting this morning in Chicago:

Vacuum%20Texts.png

 

 

21 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

She better give great head

How’s Barb’s head game?

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8 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

I work from home so I'm usually the one who "gets ready" for the cleaning lady each week. I don't travel a whole lot, but I do travel for work some and Mrs CL has lately started complaining lately about the cleaning lady coming when I'm out of town. Apparently it's too much work for her to spend the 10 minutes that I normally spend getting the house ready picking up dirty clothes and putting away breakfast dishes. She says it's hard enough already to get the kids out of bed and off to school by herself. (Normally this is my job, too)

This week I have to leave town. Cleaning lady is supposed to come on Wednesday (today). Mrs CL tells me to tell the cleaning lady not to come at all. She "can't handle" the extra work. I tell her OK, but point out that the house will now go two weeks without getting cleaned up and it needs it.

Never fear she says, I'll do a little cleaning myself before I go to work. I ask about this obvious contradiction and apparently that's a TONE-worthy question I shouldn't be asking. 

These are the texts I started getting during my breakfast meeting this morning in Chicago:

Vacuum%20Texts.png

 

Tone.

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Barb is the cleaning lady/maid that we hope is blowing CrimHorn on the side. 
No shit.

When I admitted to close family that I had been fucking around on my first wife, my mom actually said "good, I'm glad. At least you were having an enjoyable time with SOME female."

Hope you got blown in Chicago, bro.
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11 hours ago, GlenFromTheMailRoom said:

Wife and I have a nice dinner tonight.  Great evening having sushi, sake, and just hanging.

We get home.  Put the infant down to bed.  While in the kitchen I notice skunk smell from outside and ask where the dog is.  Wife goes outside and dog has been sprayed in the mouth.  Mouth starts foaming because of the spray and wife thinks he's dying.  She drags the dog into our room and screams "Google how to see if skunks give dogs rabies.".  I reply, "get the fucking dog out of our room!".  

It took me saying this five times to get the goddamn dog out of the room.  I'm not helping get the odor out one bit and will sleep in the guest room until she figures it out.
"

I love that her first instinct upon thinking your dog had gotten insta-rabies was to bring it in the house

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12 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

I work from home so I'm usually the one who "gets ready" for the cleaning lady each week. I don't travel a whole lot, but I do travel for work some and Mrs CL has lately started complaining lately about the cleaning lady coming when I'm out of town. Apparently it's too much work for her to spend the 10 minutes that I normally spend getting the house ready picking up dirty clothes and putting away breakfast dishes. She says it's hard enough already to get the kids out of bed and off to school by herself. (Normally this is my job, too)

This week I have to leave town. Cleaning lady is supposed to come on Wednesday (today). Mrs CL tells me to tell the cleaning lady not to come at all. She "can't handle" the extra work. I tell her OK, but point out that the house will now go two weeks without getting cleaned up and it needs it.

Never fear she says, I'll do a little cleaning myself before I go to work. I ask about this obvious contradiction and apparently that's a TONE-worthy question I shouldn't be asking. 

These are the texts I started getting during my breakfast meeting this morning in Chicago:

Vacuum%20Texts.png

 

Did I post this in my sleep? Is Crimsonlonghorn my sock? 

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12 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

I work from home so I'm usually the one who "gets ready" for the cleaning lady each week. I don't travel a whole lot, but I do travel for work some and Mrs CL has lately started complaining lately about the cleaning lady coming when I'm out of town. Apparently it's too much work for her to spend the 10 minutes that I normally spend getting the house ready picking up dirty clothes and putting away breakfast dishes. She says it's hard enough already to get the kids out of bed and off to school by herself. (Normally this is my job, too)

This week I have to leave town. Cleaning lady is supposed to come on Wednesday (today). Mrs CL tells me to tell the cleaning lady not to come at all. She "can't handle" the extra work. I tell her OK, but point out that the house will now go two weeks without getting cleaned up and it needs it.

Never fear she says, I'll do a little cleaning myself before I go to work. I ask about this obvious contradiction and apparently that's a TONE-worthy question I shouldn't be asking. 

These are the texts I started getting during my breakfast meeting this morning in Chicago:

Vacuum%20Texts.png

 

You need to find a reason to stay in Chicago for another week.

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