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Beefcake Cawthorn is a proselytizing jackass who needs his own thread


TheStoicPaisano

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10 minutes ago, tchookem said:
19 minutes ago, DDD Dad said:
 

That right thigh is very Earl Campbell-ish.

 

10 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Man hands. 

Those things are both true, but she's still an Appalachian 9. Because most of the girls in that region look like most of the guys in that region.

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On 12/25/2021 at 2:49 PM, tchookem said:
On 12/25/2021 at 11:23 AM, Walden Ponderer said:
Those things are both true, but she's still an Appalachian 9. Because most of the girls in that region look like most of the guys in that region.

I could see her legs being a source of resentment in their marriage. Also, her superior T levels.

So much pegging in that "relationship"

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2 hours ago, HenryJames said:
Oldest story in the world.

Totally.  My first marriage sprung out of a fake Amway convention.  I thought I was signing up to get rich, and before I knew it, I was on the hook for a $40K wedding to a CPA from Bozeman.  Never saw it coming.

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Cawthorn's story reminds me of a shittier version of a great Warren Zevon song that he should probably start reciting by rote in front of his counsel:

I went home with a crossfit, the way I always do

How was I to know, she was with the Russians too?

I was gambling in Saint Peters, I took a little risk.

Send lawyers, legs, and money, Trump-get me out of this, ha.

I'm the innocent non-stander.

Somehow I got stuck, between the rock and the hard place. 

And I'm down as her cuck, yes I'm down as her cuck.

Well I'm down as her cuck. 

And I'm hiding in the District.

I'm a desperate man.

Send lawyers, legs, and money.  

The shit has hit the fan.

 

Edited by Lobo
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I like how he wears the most situationally inappropriate watch for “sporting” like Trump does with those dainty gold-clad ladies wristwatches for golf and tennis 

Edited by Lobo
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14 hours ago, HenryJames said:

Oldest story in the world.

What an odd story. Guys in their early 20s fly to Norway and Sweden for fun. ??? They take a boat from Sweden to St. Petersburg. Presumably from Stockholm which is a 40 hour ferry ride. Sounds like a blast.  Smh. Maybe they found a cruise ship at the time. I don’t know.

ends up an illegal casino in St. Petersburg. Happens to meet a captain in the US Army in that casino, who later gets Cawthorn to join a fake CrossFit competition in Miami. Where the only other competitor is his future wife.

what’s telling about Cawthorn is that he doesn’t even recognize that isn’t a story to share. It reads like some Russian spy story.

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1 hour ago, kevwun said:

Another one of those cases where we’re lucky the person is a moron.  He would be much more dangerous if he was smart enough to not talk about a trip to Russia that was supposed to be a secret.

Mr. Cawthorn, are you radicalized and have you been compromised?

Well yes, of course, I'm infiltrating these people to make sure American freedoms aren't at stake!  I have infiltrated them really hard.   You would not believe the videos I had to let them take of me to get inside.

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16 hours ago, HenryJames said:

Oldest story in the world.

There's not a single goddam thing in that story that adds up.  It's obviously prep work for the accusations to come that he's a Russian asset.

Quote

U.S. Recalls All 28 Marine Guards at Moscow Embassy : Follows Spy Allegations Against 2

L.A. TIMES ARCHIVES
MARCH 30, 1987 12 AM PT
FROM TIMES WIRE SERVICES
WASHINGTON — 

All 28 Marine guards at the U.S. Embassy in Moscow will be returned to the United States next month to help in the investigation of two Marines accused of allowing Soviet spies into the building, the Marine Corps said today.

 

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On 12/24/2021 at 8:56 PM, Bama Chick said:

This is some Red Sparrow shit.
 

 


The whole thread is worth a read.

 

Yes it is.  

3 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

What an odd story. Guys in their early 20s fly to Norway and Sweden for fun. ??? They take a boat from Sweden to St. Petersburg. Presumably from Stockholm which is a 40 hour ferry ride. Sounds like a blast.  Smh. Maybe they found a cruise ship at the time. I don’t know.

ends up an illegal casino in St. Petersburg. Happens to meet a captain in the US Army in that casino, who later gets Cawthorn to join a fake CrossFit competition in Miami. Where the only other competitor is his future wife.

what’s telling about Cawthorn is that he doesn’t even recognize that isn’t a story to share. It reads like some Russian spy story.

From what I got from the thread, he was on a white supremacists' training/retreat kind of trip, seemingly pretty common.   He was then targeted and grooming began to utilize him as a Russian prop.  Same as Trump, his ego is too big to accept he's being played.  

58 minutes ago, Bullneck said:

 

 

That was back in August.  

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so all the guns and rolling around shooting shit on camera...

it's blatantly obvious that his guns-go-bang-bang erotica is him compensating for not being able to fuck. 

i mean i'm not the only one that has figured that out, right? 🤔

might as well be a neon sign around his neck...

200 (3).gif

Edited by mchookem
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22 minutes ago, Sawbonz said:

Is the soon to be ex a Russian national? 

Quote

As if the story of how Cawthorn and Bayardelle met wasn’t suspect enough, the circumstances surrounding the Cawthorns tying the knot is equally strange. The couple legally wed last December, according to an article in BlueRidgeNow. Marrying in December instead of waiting supposedly made it easier for Cawthorn to assume his duties as a congressman with his wife by his side. According to a press secretary for Cawthorn, the marriage allowed the two to “streamline the paperwork process needed for him to take office in D.C. with her as his spouse.”

They later held what Cawthorn’s press secretary described as a “religious ceremony” on April 3rd of this year. The date coincides with the anniversary of the car crash that left Cawthorn paralyzed. Cawthorn told People Magazine that Bayardelle chose that date so that the two would have something positive to celebrate instead of looking back to the 2014 accident. “It kind of changes that history in my mind,” Cawthorn said, “to where it's not my saddest day; it's my favorite day.”

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2021/12/27/2071394/-Something-just-doesn-t-add-up-with-Madison-Cawthorn-s-story-of-how-he-met-his-soon-to-be-ex-wife

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Stern had shared the video of Cawthorn discussing how he met his wife, and wrote: "Madison Cawthorn's divorce just went from boring information to national security concern in about 77 seconds of interview time with the Daily Caller."

"This does not sound a normal meet-cute story whatsoever. Very few of these stories involving Russia are," Stern said.

Retweeting Stern, Wellman had written: "OK. Wait. He met an American Army Captain from Miami in a St. Petersburg, Russia casino? Why would a U.S. Army officer be in a Russian casino? I have questions."

https://www.newsweek.com/madison-cawthorn-laughs-off-suggestions-wife-russian-honeypot-1663560

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8 minutes ago, Sawbonz said:

Yeah I just don’t know if I can make the leap to honeypot if she's native born. Nothing in that piece states she’s a foreign national unless I skimmed over it

I couldn't find anything along those lines either.  

That said, she's from Ft. Lauderdale, which automatically puts her in the sketchy category.

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He went to Norway and Sweden.  I can buy that.  Gotta check out the Aryan chicks.  But it was painful to fly.

He took a ferry to Russia.  Not being deliberately skeptical but Russia is pretty far down on my list of places to visit. Just saying.  

Went gambling in Russia, which others say is illegal.

Met a US Army officer at the casino.  Now how would you even know that?  Did you approach him or did he approach you?  You saw he speaking English and said, hey, there's another American, let me speak to him.  Or he saw you and your friend(s) and struck up a conversation?  Was he in uniform?  Do you remember his last name?  

He called you later and asked you to meet him in Miami.  For crossfit.  So you liked Todd and crossfit so much you travelled to Miami.  But he had lied and there was no crossfit tournament (or whatever).  (You know, my son is playing in a tournament this weekend and I'm checking the website every hour or so to see if the draws are posted.  Draws are up!  Bullneck, Jr. is playing a stiff in the first round but his second round match will be a dogfight).  Did you check the schedule?  Was there a tournament hotel with special rates and ADA bathrooms? 

Remind me the timing of all this?  Were you elected yet?  Were you a young guy in a wheelchair? 

Back to Miami now: when did Todd let the cat out of the bag?  At airport?  Or when you came over to his house?  Any Army bases near Miami?  I didn't think so, but I don't pay much attention to that. 

Todd must be ripped if he's a crossfit guy.  And very studly.  I bet you guys keep in touch.  Did he come to your wedding?  After all, he introduced you.  I'm surprised he didn't make a play for her himself.  She's pretty hot.  Maybe he's a happily married man and the four of you double dated. 

So what happened that first night?  Anything?  No trying to be a dick or nothing but I have a hard time believing a former Douche Crew member now in a wheelchair is going to be pulling much pussy.  Is that why you went to Russia, looking for hookers?  

 

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