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You just live in the wrong place is all.  Granted most grown American women are fat tubs of shit who are Karens in their obese souls.  But man, I was on campus today and now back in my MILF-packed neighborhood in Austin and the costumes are fantastic.  It would appear a firm buttocks are a lady's best friend this Autumnal season.  

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10 hours ago, YGIFS said:

You just live in the wrong place is all.  Granted most grown American women are fat tubs of shit who are Karens in their obese souls.  But man, I was on campus today and now back in my MILF-packed neighborhood in Austin and the costumes are fantastic.  It would appear a firm buttocks are a lady's best friend this Autumnal season.  

Pics or it didn’t happen. 

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On 10/30/2023 at 6:43 PM, nnm said:

This is a good question. I have wondered the same thing. My brother got a hand-me-down waterbed from some friend of our parents. I tried to use it when he left for the Navy, but a third-hand waterbed is too funky. 

My daughter was conceived on a 2nd hand-waterbed. Up until that time, it had been my good luck charm.

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You just live in the wrong place is all.  Granted most grown American women are fat tubs of shit who are Karens in their obese souls.  But man, I was on campus today and now back in my MILF-packed neighborhood in Austin and the costumes are fantastic.  It would appear a firm buttocks are a lady's best friend this Autumnal season.  

Damn one percenters are ruining the curve. You live in the land of milk and honey, I’m stuck here in the ditch of beans and tortillas.
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8 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Just to further rub it in.  I’m at the elementary school assembly.  The yoga pants tacit competition is insane.  I feel bad for you guys out in the suburbs.   What a time be alive.  Ass-tastic

Uh, you should probably stop objectifying the students. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
Teasing, obviously.
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Well I was obviously talking about the moms.  Although the new 2nd grade teacher from Florida State (according to her hat) was making a very strong case for herself.  to say she poured herself into lululemons two sizes too small and borderline transparent would be a gross understatement.  

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The things we do for our kids, eh?  

My kids haven't had any attractive teachers save for one pre-school "Helper" who has a real Penn-Stater (great uniform, bland helmet).  But there are so many attractive teachers/staff at my oldest's elementary school.  The FSU gal being the latest one.  Actually the hottest one is the principal.  She was a UT cheerleader, she's probably woefully under-experienced for the position being like early 30's and the principal at a fairly prominent elementary school in Texas.  And she has a penchant for wearing extremely tight fitting pants.  On the regular, wife tells me I volunteer enough---I don't need to do dad dropoff duty (glorified crossing guard) or attend assembly on Fridays.  But I take one for the team to demonstrate the significance of volunteering.  Because between the moms and teachers this time of year, it's just a fucking lululemon contest.  Now I know where all my insane property tax money goes.  Fridays at the school at 7:45am are better than any nightclub at 1:45am.  

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On 11/3/2023 at 6:01 AM, YGIFS said:

Just to further rub it in.  I’m at the elementary school assembly.  The yoga pants tacit competition is insane.  I feel bad for you guys out in the suburbs.   What a time be alive.  Ass-tastic

 

On 11/3/2023 at 6:08 AM, Prepuce of Doom said:

Uh, you should probably stop objectifying the students. 

 

Screenshot 2023-11-04 133616.jpg

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17 hours ago, 52-80 said:

1. I need a bakery closer to my house

2. somebody should invent a french baguette that doesnt go stale after 1 day

incorrect!

  1. Take the day old stale bagel and cut it in half between the top and bottom (like you're going to make a sub)
  2. Brush with olive oil and season with italian seasoning
  3. Bake on 400 for ~ 10 mins
  4. spoon on pasta sauce
  5. optional - shake on good quality pepper flakes (Flat iron pepper co FTMFW)
  6. "sprinkle" with mozarella
  7. top with sliced sautéed mushrooms & Peperoni
  8. Bake for another 10 mins with convection til cheese is melted and it looks fucking delicious

Best French bread pizza you ever had

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44 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

Walked around campus for a bit yesterday after the game for the first time in 15 years or so. The student body has definitely changed from what I remember back in the day (86-90).

I’m sure this isn’t news but dang.

One morning in 1962 while walking up the West Mall from the Drag, I saw a clothed couple humping on top of the staircase balustrade entry to the student Union.
He was on top of her banging away like there was no tomorrow, and the scores of students walking by pretending not to notice…..except for the one amazed freshman me.

I’ll bet some of their grandkids post here.

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incorrect!
  1. Take the day old stale bagel and cut it in half between the top and bottom (like you're going to make a sub)
  2. Brush with olive oil and season with italian seasoning
  3. Bake on 400 for ~ 10 mins
  4. spoon on pasta sauce
  5. optional - shake on good quality pepper flakes (Flat iron pepper co FTMFW)
  6. "sprinkle" with mozarella
  7. top with sliced sautéed mushrooms & Peperoni
  8. Bake for another 10 mins with convection til cheese is melted and it looks fucking delicious
Best French bread pizza you ever had

Yeah but stouffers gives me the ability to burn my lips on molten toppings and also chip a tooth on the frozen interior…all in the same bite!
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I had a very uncomfortable 5th grade parent/teacher conference.  It was on a teacher work day and the kids all had off.  The busty teacher showed up in a VERY low cut blouse and a tight short skirt. Then she ushered me over to sit at a comically short table in comically short chairs and talked to me about my daughter for 20mins or so.  All the while her DDs were straining the very lite fabric of her blouse.  Her legs are tightly together but if she doesn't keep them clamped its going to be a show. She had to know this, because she would occasionally bend over the table to point something out on a paper or turn to get papers on the desk behind her and her legs would splay.
I'm a good boy, so I just stared at the top of her head, kept my distance and GTFO.  I have no idea what she wanted to talk about, I didn't hear a thing.  I called my wife and told her she had to go to all future meetings, because I wasn't going to anywhere near "Chesty McSugar tits" again.
The wife laughed, until she went to the next parent teacher conference.  She called me on the way home and said "holy shit! You weren't joking!"
 

You voluntarily tapped out of seeing double d cleavage and panty shots??
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2 hours ago, Hate said:


You voluntarily tapped out of seeing double d cleavage and panty shots??

  1. Yup 100%
  2. I never said she was wearing panties

Saw CMST at the beach several times.  Tiny bikini and thong.  She's hot, but I'm not missing out.  How would you like to be accused of perving out on your young daughter's teacher?  No thanks!

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3 hours ago, deft said:


Yeah but stouffers gives me the ability to burn my lips on molten toppings and also chip a tooth on the frozen interior…all in the same bite!

Fuck Stouffers  /roofofmouthskin

 

image.jpeg.36203c5b2086dfbd1414a8d4441e0b96.jpegimage.jpeg.df98d5930a04b4326e73db3f5e970680.jpegimage.jpeg.48db44e857ebf4ede2aed38665c2d3db.jpeg

Peperoni was growing something, so mushroom only

Edited by locodos
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I have a question for surly law. I'm reading a transcript from a SOAH case about a pharmacy allegedly operating as a pill mill. Defense has a pharmacist as an expert witness and in the middle of testimony the state asks her "How much are you being paid to testify here today?". Defense attorney pounced on that and the witness said she gets paid $500/hr for her time as an expert witness. What's the purpose of that question? Was it a gotcha? Are expert witnesses not allowed to be paid to testify? I'm just trying to understand why this happened. It's such a left turn as I'm reading the transcript. I'm not an attorney so I don't know shit about stuff like this. 

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6 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm no lawyer, but they're trying to make the expert witness look like a whore to the jury who will say anything the client wants him to for $500 per hour.

I thought that too but apparently this was at the state office for administrative hearings so there was no jury

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Secure your accounts people.  $150,000 was stolen Friday.  Someone called the bank impersonating with last four ssn and account number and was able to get the bank to wire the money to some high end car dealership in tomball.  FBI involved.  Bank said last night they’re going to put the money back and take the hit themselves.  

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People voluntarily give out the last four of their social all the time in modernity.  My father had a trick for memorizing the middle two which is largely based on where you were born.  I picked that up as a cocktail party trick after somebody said where they were from.  Between those six easy to get digits, even my dumbass can run a program to generate the first three.  
 

I’m probably due for another identity theft.  Then we’re going off the grid again 

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4 hours ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

Secure your accounts people.  $150,000 was stolen Friday.  Someone called the bank impersonating with last four ssn and account number and was able to get the bank to wire the money to some high end car dealership in tomball.  FBI involved.  Bank said last night they’re going to put the money back and take the hit themselves.  


Got damn. That’s terrible. 
 

Definitely worth catching the paper for if you ever met them face to face. 

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6 hours ago, YGIFS said:

My father had a trick for memorizing the middle two which is largely based on where you were born

I had a heated debate with a co-worker about this, like 25 years ago. Both of our SSN started with the same number. He claimed the first 3 digits are based on where you were born. I said that's bullshit because I wasn't born here and he was. Eventually, I called the SS office and asked. Turns out, he was right. The reason mine started with the same number as his was because my parents didn't get me a SSN until we moved here when I was 12 or so, when the federal government said you need to have SSNs for all the dependents on your tax return. My wife and kids were all born here, so we all have the same starting number.

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As per usual, men trying to overcompensate for tiny dicks with large weapons.

Having said that, my MiL does kinda the opposite.  She will bring out a fucking Kitana sword with which to cut vegetables and fruits.  But their whole family likes their steaks done to absolute insane levels of Well Done+++.  They don't like it charred on the outside because they think that causes cancer.  But if the inside doesn't look a wallet after a nuclear holocaust, they're not happy.  Not just 'no red juice' but 'no juice of any kind, it should sound like we're all eating rubber bands.'  And she'll put away the serious knives and then hand out "steak" knives to us all to cut the leather hide foodstuffs.  These gimpy ass, glorified butter knives that have trouble spreading peanut butter with which to fight this cattle abomination.  

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