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Dumb Question Amnesty Thread


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20 hours ago, burntorangebongos said:

They are doing a pre-auth with your card and after you sign it with the tip, they run the transaction.

Example: your lunch comes to $30. The waitress takes your card and Visa is checking if card and expiration match cardholder name and waitress asks for authorization of $40. VISA approves because it is within your credit limit. She comes back and you tip 8 for a total of $38, which is less than the preauthorization amount, VISA will pay them when they run the transaction. 

Yeah, well, I’m still going to try the negative tip thing. 

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Ok.  I know it's a movie, so that might be my answer right there, but help a brother out.

American Hustle.  Love this movie.  

The scam Bale's character was running in the beginning doesn't make sense to me.  He was offering a "finder's fee" of 5k to connect folks to a guy/bank for a 50k loan.  There was never going to be a "guy or a bank".  Now, I get how this could work if you took the fee and jetted; however, his character seemed deeply entrenched in the area.  How would someone run this scam without being offed within a week?  I can't imagine that the types of people going this route for a loan would be "awwww, he got me" types.

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1 hour ago, SurlyGator said:

I’ve got one.  What is the origin of TCU being labeled roach?  Took me a while to catch on to that one.

https://magazine.tcu.edu/fall-2018/texas-coach-darrell-royal-compared-tcu-to-the-cockroach/#:~:text=That balloon was popped%2C” said,into something and ruining it.

https://www.texaslsn.org/tcu-cockroaches

Edited by nnm
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2 minutes ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

when traveling abroad, i'll see "don't flush TP, throw it in this can."  Do they really mean my shit covered wipes?  or just the wet one from the ladies keeping themselves in order?

Yes, it means all TP goes in the can.  All of it.  

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Maybe their sewer system is different than ours such that it’s preferable to have a can of stinky, poopy toilet paper sitting there all day stinking up the restroom. 
My proposed solution is this…hear me out…. Instead of cutting down millions of trees to make TP, we instead “recycle” poop, harnessing the technology that turns apples into Fruit Rollups, and make toilet tissues from human waste.  Through chemical processing it can be made sterile and eliminate the smell. 
It really kills three birds with one stone (trees, what to do with left over poop, and because you’re wiping poop with poop, it can all be flushed).  
 

(Don’t try to steal my idea.  I’m already working on a patent application.) 

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53 minutes ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

when traveling abroad, i'll see "don't flush TP, throw it in this can."  Do they really mean my shit covered wipes?  or just the wet one from the ladies keeping themselves in order?

Paging @Scheiss Meister  but yes, don't flush shit....except actual shit.

I spent four months in Central and South America on a study abroad program with about 65 other students during undergrad, and the professors/chaperones warned everyone that when we finally all went home around Thanksgiving, there was going to be at least one person in the group who would have some explaining to do to their confused and disgusted mother. 

There were a few students who fell victim to habit in this regard. It wasn't me, but I did almost made the mistake a few times. 

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I have no experience with foreign sewer systems, but I think that it does mean don't flush any paper at all.  Think lowest common intelligence denominator:  "He flushed that thin paper.  Why can't I flush this thicker paper?  It's all paper, right?"  I've started seeing similar signs in public restrooms here in Texas.  Basically, it's either allow people to flush whatever they want, whether it's TP, paper towels, wipes, or underwear, or just ban it all.

TL,DR: Morons fuck up everything for the rest of us.

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24 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

I have no experience with foreign sewer systems, but I think that it does mean don't flush any paper at all.  Think lowest common intelligence denominator:  "He flushed that thin paper.  Why can't I flush this thicker paper?  It's all paper, right?"  I've started seeing similar signs in public restrooms here in Texas.  Basically, it's either allow people to flush whatever they want, whether it's TP, paper towels, wipes, or underwear, or just ban it all.

TL,DR: Morons fuck up everything for the rest of us.

I saw a sign that said "please do not flush masks or rubber gloves" in the bathroom of my room at a San Francisco Marriott property last week. 

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On 1/25/2023 at 12:45 PM, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

when traveling abroad, i'll see "don't flush TP, throw it in this can."  Do they really mean my shit covered wipes?  or just the wet one from the ladies keeping themselves in order?

Yes. Not every country has the sewage system that we do. I once had a girlfriend who told me a story about a Greek transfer student she used to go out with. She took him to her house and while he was there he used their bathroom. They couldn’t figure out where the awful stench was coming from until they discovered his used toilet paper in the trash can. That’s how they did it back home.

My brother’s wife is from the Philippines and she didn’t have toilet paper growing up. They just wiped with their bare hand which isn’t all that uncommon in the world. They say that in some parts of the world it’s considered rude to shake hands with your left hand because traditionally that’s the one used for wiping. 

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2 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

From what I understand, a hangover's severity can be related to dehydration.  All things being equal, would drinking the same amount of whiskey on the rocks v. straight whiskey make a noticeable difference in how one feels the next day?

No. Even if all the ice melted that probably wouldn’t be enough to make a difference. Pausing for the occasional hydration break isn’t a bad idea. Like, after a cocktail or two, drink a whole glass of water before you order/pour another drink.

Drink a bunch of water before you go to bed. Some people also take an aspirin. I had a friend who swore by Pedialyte, it also has electrolytes, but I’ve never tried it. 

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Can Google( or any of the other listening devices/ surveillance in my life) hear you fart? Was on the road yesterday and wife is gone for the week, so I had a bag of Fritos and a can of bean dip.  Didn't say or type anything to anyone about it.  Yesterday afternoon at the house while watching hoops came the  payoff. Then later I was actually watching Blazing Saddles and the fart scene came on.

Turn on the Intertron this morning and first ad on FB was for Camelia Kidney Beans. We don't even buy that shit, nor have I talked about them. Sometimes the coincidence is just too fucking close to home.  So does Google/ FB listen for farts?

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You know how when you google something, there's often a Wikipedia entry that shows up on the first page results with a blurb in the upper right corner of your screen? I've noticed lately that it disappears after a few short seconds. Is that happening to anyone else, or is it just me?

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5 hours ago, Born to Run said:
6 hours ago, bolverk said:
Suicide by Viagra. Has that ever happened?

Asking for a friend?

Cleaning up shit at my parents' house (both now deceased) to get it ready to sell and came across a full bottle script for my dad. So, yeah, crossed my mind, like, what if I took all of these pills?

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Cleaning up shit at my parents' house (both now deceased) to get it ready to sell and came across a full bottle script for my dad. So, yeah, crossed my mind, like, what if I took all of these pills?

Worse…. Cleaning out my dad’s place after he died and we found a half bottle of those TV dick growing pills Enzyte. I told my family if I found a ruler anywhere near that bathroom I was burning the damn house down!
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On 4/16/2023 at 8:38 AM, GoPokes83 said:


Worse…. Cleaning out my dad’s place after he died and we found a half bottle of those TV dick growing pills Enzyte. I told my family if I found a ruler anywhere near that bathroom I was burning the damn house down!

How many have you taken, and do they work? 

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