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Tell Me About Texas a&m


MrPhlegm

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1 minute ago, Pam Cummings said:

There's being able to recruit and then there's being able to identify talent. Aggie, in true aggie fashion, thinks that just throwing money at highly rated players will make them a winner. No thought is given to doing real, in-house talent evalutation, nor is there any consideration as to how the pieces will fit together.

They're already seeing this strategy not pan out.  Look at the attrition of previous classes rated so high on paper.  They have no ties or loyalty to the school.  They are mercenaries that will leave at the drop of a hat.  Perpetuating the "we're always young" cycle they keep seeing.  

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1 hour ago, Frank Drebin said:

His recruiting won’t be any better than Jimbo’s.  

I would be pissed if we hired Traylor.  I didn’t like the Strong hire and his resume shits all over Traylor’s.  
 

I swear 90 percent of the opinions on this board are based on regurgitations from Inside Texas.  No more true than the myth of Jeff Traylor.  Outside or Burton and Hamilton, the others there are idiots like most all 995ers

Better than Jimbo? I'm not sure if you remember but aggy bought the greatest signing class in the history of ever in '22. You might have missed it, aggy didn't really say much about it 🙄 

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1 hour ago, FtheBig12 said:

Exactly. With the money they're willing to throw around to buy players that's not going to be an issue for them. They have to find the guy who can manage a bunch of overpriced ego maniacs. That's a tall order.

That’s easy, practice is optional and puff puff pass the blunts 💨 

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From the Solid Verbal podcast newsletter:

 

7 Things Jimbo Fisher’s Buyout Could Buy

My God, they finally did it.

After six seasons of mostly mediocrity and frustration, Jimbo Fisher is out at Texas A&M. The boosters and oil barons evidently found enough change in the couch cushions to send the National Championship-winning coach packing to the tune of a $77 million buyout.

It’s absurd. It’s the absolute definition of dumb money. But exactly how dumb is it? That’s what I wanted to know. This week, I present to you seven things Fisher’s buyout could pay for. It’s frankly soul-crushing.

1) The yearly salary of every superior offensive coordinator, roughly four times over

The Aggies rank an OK 25th in points per drive so far in 2023. Of the 24 offensive coordinators churning out better offenses than A&M’s, 19 have publicly available salaries. Those add up to around $19 million, which Fisher’s buyout could pay for 3.98 times. Of the top 20 offensive coordinators at public universities, Texas A&M’s Bobby Petrino is making the fifth-most money annually at $1.42 million, over twice as much as Arizona’s Brennan Carroll at $625,000. Ironic given Arizona fans are probably having well over twice as much fun watching their team as Aggie fans.

2) Five and a half Super Bowl commercials

The average cost of a 30-second spot during Super Bowl LVII was $7 million, per Forbes. That would give A&M seven chances to broadcast its plight to well over 100 million viewers. Surely, one of them could do better than 27-21 in the SEC with the nation’s top recruiting class? The commercials could start cute, maybe with a painfully dated reference and a celebrity cameo, then by the end it’s just a booster offering his bank PIN to anyone with a vaguely folksy name and a clipboard willing to call him back.

3) 38,500 Ford Pintos in 1978

Following an investigation from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, Ford recalled 1.5 million of its famously explosive Pinto sedans in 1978. At an average cost hovering around $2,000, a ’76 Pinto would be mere pocket change. A&M could easily pay for nearly 40,000 of them, although I suppose it already knows how it feels throwing that much money at something only for it to implode catastrophically.

4) The construction of the Empire State Building, adjusted for inflation until 1957

The former tallest building in America and New York skyline staple was built in 1931 for a measly $41 million, which inflates to just under $77 million in 1957. That year also saw the release of classic legal drama 12 Angry Men, which coincidentally also refers to the extremely disgruntled players taking the field for A&M on any given play — plus the vaunted 12th Man, of course.

Sure, Fisher’s buyout would only pay for roughly 13% of the tower’s construction in today’s money, but when has A&M ever cared about seeing anything it pays for come to fruition?

5) A private SpaceX voyage

In May, SpaceX sent a four-man crew into space at an estimated cost of $55 million per person, pbs.org reported. I’ve heard Aggie fans complain ad nauseum about how much they wanted to put Fisher and Petrino in a rocket bound for the moon, and this feels like a perfect opportunity. Maybe Petrino would get a discounted ticket. Then again, maybe the literal moon is still a little closer than A&M fans want Fisher to be to their favorite team.

6) Villa Aquamaris, private island in French Polynesia

Villa Aquamaris’ website describes it as a “window on heaven.” The 4-acre South Pacific island is surrounded by pristine waters, with a lagoon boasting over 50 shades of blue. But that’s not all. Per privateislandsonline.com, Aquamaris costs a piddling $52 million, meaning A&M would still have just enough pocket change left over to purchase the 8-acre Steele Point Estate in the British Virgin Islands, currently priced at $25 million.

Either would likely be the perfect retirement homestead for Fisher, provided he could Zoom into the occasional Finebaum Show appearance. I guess I didn’t factor in the cost of wi-fi.

7) National respectability

Wait, actually, never mind. Forgot to carry the 1.

 -Bradley Hohulin

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In all this coaching search hullaballoo (caneck! caneck!), let's not forget the weirdness of these weirdos: 
 

If you look closely at all these dweebs, collectively not one has seen, touched, or banged a real live female human pussy.

I’m not sure any have even bang a goat , sheep or collie like the cool dudes on campus have.
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39 brings “preferred walk on” to a whole new level. Has to be parental donations to the aggy coffers, as the year he arrived, I’m willing to bet that there were at least 300 RBs in Texas alone, from 5A and below that were bigger, faster, and basically better than that chosen one.

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Maybe his dad was Jimbo's accountant.
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Honest question is, what does he actually bring to practice and the scout team? Ok guys, imagine this guy is the RB that is bigger/faster than what we’re seeing today, but he’s running the plays we’ve noticed over their previous 2-3 games.

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Makes their defensive jags look like 5-stars for the aggy reporters to trumpet.
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It seems our fan base is really scared of Traylor taking the job but wouldn’t want Traylor as the Texas HC?

It also seems like aggy is going to be pissed when Traylor takes the job. 

So to summarize, some in our fan base is terrified of Traylor at aggy yet aggy doesn’t want Traylor at all?

 

Confused Kevin James GIF by TV Land

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3 minutes ago, Pancho said:

It seems our fan base is really scared of Traylor taking the job but wouldn’t want Traylor as the Texas HC?

It also seems like aggy is going to be pissed when Traylor takes the job. 

So to summarize, some in our fan base is terrified of Traylor at aggy yet aggy doesn’t want Traylor at all?

 

Confused Kevin James GIF by TV Land

Aggy is dumb and values splash over competency.  Therefore we actually want them to get exactly what they want.

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2 minutes ago, Pancho said:

It seems our fan base is really scared of Traylor taking the job but wouldn’t want Traylor as the Texas HC?

It also seems like aggy is going to be pissed when Traylor takes the job. 

So to summarize, some in our fan base is terrified of Traylor at aggy yet aggy doesn’t want Traylor at all?

 

Confused Kevin James GIF by TV Land

Who is terrified of Traylor coaching at ATM? 

I think it is a crapshoot as to whether or not he would work out there, but I think there are guys I'd prefer to see them land, like Swinney or Schumann. 

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4 hours ago, Reese Bennett said:

I can't quit watching this. The moment where she is laying on the handlebars is sublime.

Because it is done very well; a smooth takeoff from the pommel horse, hands and legs stretched out over the handlebars to show the judges you are in complete control, and then a graceful dismount. 9.5/10 because the commies hate freedom. 

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10 minutes ago, Pancho said:

It seems our fan base is really scared of Traylor taking the job but wouldn’t want Traylor as the Texas HC?

It also seems like aggy is going to be pissed when Traylor takes the job. 

So to summarize, some in our fan base is terrified of Traylor at aggy yet aggy doesn’t want Traylor at all?

 

Confused Kevin James GIF by TV Land

There is a portion of our fanbase that is forever terrified of all things aggie. 

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11 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Who is terrified of Traylor coaching at ATM? 

I think it is a crapshoot as to whether or not he would work out there, but I think there are guys I'd prefer to see them land, like Swinney or Schumann. 

 

There’s bee a ton of folks on here, on other sites, on socials that are freaking the fuck out about Traylor at aggy and I, personally, don’t know why. 

Are you wanting to see them land Dabo or Schumann as that makes them good or because that would fail spectacularly?

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