Jump to content

America, Fuck Yea! News Stories


crash_davis

Recommended Posts

https://www.thebiglead.com/posts/gunshot-victim-white-sox-game-snuck-weapon-fat-folds-01h917mvnwp1

Two women were wounded by gunfire during Friday night's Oakland Athletics-Chicago White Sox game at Guaranteed Rate Field. The incident in the left field bleachers did not stop the game at all and made for a bizarre and confusing story over the weekend with many people speculating where the bullets may have come from. This morning it was looking more clear that whomever fired the gun must have been inside the stadium.

ESPN Chicago's Peggy Kusinski provided the next chapter of this tale with a tweet for the ages indicating that one of the injured women had snuck the gun into the stadium by holding it in the folds of her belly fat.

 

Halfway up the screen, directly up from R and M of Statefarm sign. Happens at about 12 seconds. 

1. Why does she need to sneak a gun into a baseball game? Is some blind dude who has a kink for fat rolls going to try to rape her?

2. She hides the gun in her fat roll which gets it through metal detectors. Absolutely incredible.

3. Hardly anyone flinches when the gun goes off. Granted it is probably muffled by the thick ass roll of fat, but incredible that no one around her remotely flinches. "What's that loud gunshot bang noise? Eh, just some gun hiding in the fat roll of an obese woman going off. What's the pitch count, again?"

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, animaltobacco11 said:

How can you discern anything from that where's waldo video?

Again this adds to the weirdness because a gun goes off in the middle of a ballpark stands in the middle of a game and no none except those impacted even acknowledges it. The only way I knew is at 0:12 mark, the affected parties stand like what the fuck and then start waving for ball park attendants at the top of the stands. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

tell me you know nothing about sports in Chicago without telling me you know nothing about sports in Chicago.  White Sox/Cubs is not about geography, it's about demography.  Nary a racial component to it all.  College degree holders are 5x more likely to be spotted at Wrigley than a White Sox game.  And noCR, but the voting split between Wrigley v. Comlskey/G-Rate/whateverthefuck is markedly different beyond anything you could fathom.  Drunk, working class, uneducated, angry white people with guns love one thing in Chicago.  And that's a day in the outfield with the White Sox.  

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

There's some song lyrics in here.  "Bully-Bully............Wa-ah-wa-tusi!  Bulli Bulli, Wooly Bully.  Wa-ah, wa-tusi!"  

I know this is the greatest country on earth or whatever the fuck you morons vote on between closeted sexual encounters, but we live in a simulation and Jesus didn't actually discover America and put a 2-ton animal in a Crown Vic.  Or he did because he hates us. What the fuck ever.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I dont even know where to put this because the actual story doesnt match the assumed culprit.

 

if this story resulted in a pool cleaning company being the perps, it definately would have been an America Fuck Yeah story.

 

But alas, the culprit somehow wasnt someone associated with a pool cleaning business, nor a stupid teenager, and at this point, not even a disgruntled ex employee.

 

basically someone in NJ has been dropping Coast Guard Salt Water Dye packs in pools around a city in NJ.   Causing the pool owners to have to drain their pools, clean them, and the reload with fresh water.

The hotel in the story was hit 12 freaking times before the authorities could figure it out

 

 

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
33 minutes ago, troph said:

isn't this really just a "wtf is wrong with you Florida, I mean US..." thread?

Few years ago at a literary panel, I heard an American pulitzer prize winning author (from the South) say something very poignant.  I won't type their name because to read literature is to show weakness in 'Murica.  But the quote was something along the lines of, "I no longer fear the darkness.  But I have come to fear those that cannot see the light."  

I used to worry about Florida.  But what disturbs me now is what a large portion of this country wants to be more like Florida.  That's the nightmare fuel.  

On that note, late last night Florida Man steals an industrial excavator and crashes it into a Gainesville Wal-Mart.  

https://nypost.com/2023/09/14/florida-man-jesse-smith-steals-excavator-crashes-into-walmart/

My only worry is that they won't have the store ready in time for us to get our supplies for the 2025 Surly Texas @ Florida tailgate.  SEC!  SEC!  SEC!  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

America Fuck Yeah but with Mexico's help.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/welcome-to-molar-city-mexico-the-dental-mecca-americas-health-care-costs-built_n_5dc5772ae4b0fcfb7f651721?1jg

Welcome to Molar City, Mexico, The Dental Mecca America’s Health Care Costs Built

The signs that beckon Americans as they head west toward Andrade, California’s narrow border crossing, aren’t for resorts or beaches but for dental clinics offering bridges and root canals at half what they cost in the United States. Dental care has become big business here over the last two decades, so much so that American visitors have taken to calling it “Molar City.” An estimated 600 dentists operate out of hundreds of clinics that fill the 1-square-mile town, which is home to fewer than 5,000 permanent residents.

When HuffPost visited in October, the busy season for dental tourism was just beginning. Americans, mostly retirees, were already walking the maze of streets, visiting gift shops for local handicrafts and pharmacies for low-cost prescription drugs.

Los Algodones is the northernmost town in Baja California and in Mexico itself, bordered by California to the north and by Arizona to the east. It’s just a 14-mile drive from the airport in Yuma, Arizona.

The clinics are the main reason Americans and, to a lesser extent, Canadians, travel to this village. There’s not much else here. The few restaurants in town close early, and the nightlife consists of two strip clubs. The residents are poor, and these dental clinics aren’t for them. Although the medical tourism boom has provided jobs to many area residents, others hustle as jaladores for tips from clinics and other businesses for luring pedestrians to them.

The town’s lack of amenities did not matter to retiree Eugene Richardson, 76, who drove 2,000 miles from Isle, Minnesota, with his wife, Carol, so they could both get treatment at Sani Dental Group, the town’s biggest operator.

Richardson had worked as a machinist for 30 years, and the vibrating equipment had ground down his teeth, he said. He needed all 28 teeth replaced with crowns but couldn’t afford what dentists in Minnesota charge, so in 2016, he headed to Los Algodones.

“I paid for those 28 caps one-fifth what I would’ve had to pay up in the States. It’s sad,” Richardson said. The October trip was his second to Los Algodones to have some of the crowns adjusted while Carol also got some dental work done.

The Richardsons don’t have dental insurance. “By the time you pay your premiums for a year, what it gives you is just it helps with the cleaning but it doesn’t do anything for the major work,” he said.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

SEC! SEC!

You're not at risk of getting syphilis if you are already born with it.

f00815c2e7b2e39cdf28ac0b2e1d516b.gif&f=1

https://abcnews.go.com/Health/mississippi-sees-10-fold-increase-babies-born-syphilis/story?id=103340318

The number of babies born with syphilis in Mississippi has risen 10-fold over the last several years, according to a new report.

Between 2016 and 2022, congenital syphilis cases rose from 10 to 110, marking a 1,000% increase, according to a report from the John D. Bower School of Population Health at University of Mississippi Medical Center.

During the study period, 367 infants were hospitalized in Mississippi due to a diagnosis of congenital syphilis. The majority were identified at delivery while a few were admitted to the hospital post-delivery.

In addition to the number of cases rising, the hospitalization rate also increased from 2.0 per 100,000 in 2016 to 24.8 per 100,000, according to the report.

The report found a wide discrepancy when it came to breakdown by race. The overwhelming majority of infants were African American with 71.1% of all infants compared to 25.1% of infants being white.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

This time, with Texas connection. 

Why the fuck would anyone think it's a good idea to fire a gun, even with blanks, at a wedding? Was he trying to show how badass he was? 

 

https://www.klkntv.com/man-accidentally-shot-child-while-officiating-wedding-near-lincoln-deputy-says/

LINCOLN, Neb. (KLKN) – A Texas man accidentally shot a child while officiating a wedding in Lancaster County on Saturday, the sheriff’s office says.

Chief Deputy Ben Houchin said deputies were sent to a wedding at Hillside Events near Denton on a report of a gunshot wound.

Deputies learned that 62-year-old Michael Gardner, the wedding’s officiant, fired a gun to get everyone’s attention.

“He was going to fire in the air, and as he did that, it slipped and went off,” Houchin said.

The gun was loaded with a blank that Gardner made with gunpowder and glue.

Houchin said Gardner accidentally shot a child in the shoulder.  They were taken to a hospital with injuries that were not life-threatening.

On Monday, Gardner turned himself in.  He was arrested on suspicion of felony child abuse.

“It’s just kind of neglectful to take a gun out that has blanks and fire amongst people,” Houchin said.

 

man-accidentally-shot-child-while-offici

Edited by crash_davis
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 9/20/2023 at 1:10 PM, crash_davis said:

SEC! SEC!

You're not at risk of getting syphilis if you are already born with it.

f00815c2e7b2e39cdf28ac0b2e1d516b.gif&f=1

https://abcnews.go.com/Health/mississippi-sees-10-fold-increase-babies-born-syphilis/story?id=103340318

The number of babies born with syphilis in Mississippi has risen 10-fold over the last several years, according to a new report.

Between 2016 and 2022, congenital syphilis cases rose from 10 to 110, marking a 1,000% increase, according to a report from the John D. Bower School of Population Health at University of Mississippi Medical Center.

During the study period, 367 infants were hospitalized in Mississippi due to a diagnosis of congenital syphilis. The majority were identified at delivery while a few were admitted to the hospital post-delivery.

In addition to the number of cases rising, the hospitalization rate also increased from 2.0 per 100,000 in 2016 to 24.8 per 100,000, according to the report.

The report found a wide discrepancy when it came to breakdown by race. The overwhelming majority of infants were African American with 71.1% of all infants compared to 25.1% of infants being white.

81apkd.jpg

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

38 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

This time, with Texas connection. 

Why the fuck would anyone think it's a good idea to fire a gun, even with blanks, at a wedding? Was he trying to show how badass he was? 

 

https://www.klkntv.com/man-accidentally-shot-child-while-officiating-wedding-near-lincoln-deputy-says/

LINCOLN, Neb. (KLKN) – A Texas man accidentally shot a child while officiating a wedding in Lancaster County on Saturday, the sheriff’s office says.

Chief Deputy Ben Houchin said deputies were sent to a wedding at Hillside Events near Denton on a report of a gunshot wound.

Deputies learned that 62-year-old Michael Gardner, the wedding’s officiant, fired a gun to get everyone’s attention.

“He was going to fire in the air, and as he did that, it slipped and went off,” Houchin said.

The gun was loaded with a blank that Gardner made with gunpowder and glue.

Houchin said Gardner accidentally shot a child in the shoulder.  They were taken to a hospital with injuries that were not life-threatening.

On Monday, Gardner turned himself in.  He was arrested on suspicion of felony child abuse.

“It’s just kind of neglectful to take a gun out that has blanks and fire amongst people,” Houchin said.

 

man-accidentally-shot-child-while-offici

I'm sorry, I thought this was America!

  • Drool 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

43 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

This time, with Texas connection. 

Why the fuck would anyone think it's a good idea to fire a gun, even with blanks, at a wedding? Was he trying to show how badass he was? 

 

https://www.klkntv.com/man-accidentally-shot-child-while-officiating-wedding-near-lincoln-deputy-says/

LINCOLN, Neb. (KLKN) – A Texas man accidentally shot a child while officiating a wedding in Lancaster County on Saturday, the sheriff’s office says.

Chief Deputy Ben Houchin said deputies were sent to a wedding at Hillside Events near Denton on a report of a gunshot wound.

Deputies learned that 62-year-old Michael Gardner, the wedding’s officiant, fired a gun to get everyone’s attention.

“He was going to fire in the air, and as he did that, it slipped and went off,” Houchin said.

The gun was loaded with a blank that Gardner made with gunpowder and glue.

Houchin said Gardner accidentally shot a child in the shoulder.  They were taken to a hospital with injuries that were not life-threatening.

On Monday, Gardner turned himself in.  He was arrested on suspicion of felony child abuse.

“It’s just kind of neglectful to take a gun out that has blanks and fire amongst people,” Houchin said.

 

man-accidentally-shot-child-while-offici

I'm not sure how that guy's face isn't battered and broken.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Imagine being so desperate that you would have sex with this thing. Btw, she's 33. 

 

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/ohio-woman-accused-of-meeting-men-for-sex-then-drugging-and-robbing-them-indicted-on-murder-charges/ar-AA1iXgnF

Ohio Woman Accused of Meeting Men for Sex, Then Drugging and Robbing Them, Indicted on Murder Charges

An Ohio woman on Wednesday was indicted on murder charges after prosecutors said she drugged and robbed men she met up with for sex. 

The Ohio Attorney General’s Office said in a news release that Rebecca Auborn, 33, from Columbus, Ohio, faces multiple felony counts, including murder, involuntary manslaughter, felonious assault, and drug trafficking. 

Auborn was indicted in connection to the serial killings of at least four men in the Columbus area, prosecutors said, adding that they believe there might be additional victims. 

The Central Ohio Human Trafficking Task Force received a tip that “a woman was allegedly meeting men for sex in northeast Columbus, then dosing the ‘johns’ with drugs in order to steal their possessions,” the release says. 

The Associated Press reported that Auborn gave the men fentanyl before robbing them. In September, Auborn pleaded not guilty last month to murder and drug-related charges in connection with one of the victims, the AP reported.

The investigation into Auborn prompted Ohio Attorney General Dave Yost to issue a stern warning. 

“Don’t buy sex in Ohio – it ruins lives and could cost you yours,” Yost said in the release. 

AA1iXjmH.img?w=768&h=432&m=6&x=412&y=225

 

33 years of age.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She's 33.

  • Prepare your anus 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...
On 10/27/2023 at 11:36 AM, crash_davis said:

Imagine being so desperate that you would have sex with this thing. Btw, she's 33. 

 

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/ohio-woman-accused-of-meeting-men-for-sex-then-drugging-and-robbing-them-indicted-on-murder-charges/ar-AA1iXgnF

Ohio Woman Accused of Meeting Men for Sex, Then Drugging and Robbing Them, Indicted on Murder Charges

An Ohio woman on Wednesday was indicted on murder charges after prosecutors said she drugged and robbed men she met up with for sex. 

The Ohio Attorney General’s Office said in a news release that Rebecca Auborn, 33, from Columbus, Ohio, faces multiple felony counts, including murder, involuntary manslaughter, felonious assault, and drug trafficking. 

Auborn was indicted in connection to the serial killings of at least four men in the Columbus area, prosecutors said, adding that they believe there might be additional victims. 

The Central Ohio Human Trafficking Task Force received a tip that “a woman was allegedly meeting men for sex in northeast Columbus, then dosing the ‘johns’ with drugs in order to steal their possessions,” the release says. 

The Associated Press reported that Auborn gave the men fentanyl before robbing them. In September, Auborn pleaded not guilty last month to murder and drug-related charges in connection with one of the victims, the AP reported.

The investigation into Auborn prompted Ohio Attorney General Dave Yost to issue a stern warning. 

“Don’t buy sex in Ohio – it ruins lives and could cost you yours,” Yost said in the release. 

AA1iXjmH.img?w=768&h=432&m=6&x=412&y=225

 

33 years of age.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She's 33.

giphy.gif

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

2023, and fuckheads are still burning crosses.

 

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/man-woman-accused-of-erecting-burning-cross-hurling-racial-slurs/ar-AA1lK8ta

ASouth Carolina man and woman were thrown in jail after they were accused of hurling racial slurs at their neighbors and erecting a burning cross. According to arrest reports obtained by WBTW, Alexis Paige Hartnett and Worden Evander Butler, both of Conway, were arrested in connection to a slew of incidents in late November.

Horry County police allege Hartnett and Butler committed several horrendous acts between November 23 and November 24 on Corbett Drive, targeting a victim and their family who has a second home in the neighborhood. The arrest report noted one instance where the duo allegedly put up a cross facing the victim's home and set it on fire.

 

No wai. These 2 look like stable people!! Actually they both look straight from the Adams family.

AA1lJYwX.img?w=650&h=365&m=6&x=57&y=107&

 

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

2023, and fuckheads are still burning crosses.

 

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/man-woman-accused-of-erecting-burning-cross-hurling-racial-slurs/ar-AA1lK8ta

ASouth Carolina man and woman were thrown in jail after they were accused of hurling racial slurs at their neighbors and erecting a burning cross. According to arrest reports obtained by WBTW, Alexis Paige Hartnett and Worden Evander Butler, both of Conway, were arrested in connection to a slew of incidents in late November.

Horry County police allege Hartnett and Butler committed several horrendous acts between November 23 and November 24 on Corbett Drive, targeting a victim and their family who has a second home in the neighborhood. The arrest report noted one instance where the duo allegedly put up a cross facing the victim's home and set it on fire.

 

No wai. These 2 look like stable people!! Actually they both look straight from the Adams family.

AA1lJYwX.img?w=650&h=365&m=6&x=57&y=107&

 

I suspect that their shenanigans were inspired by a heavy usage of crystal meth.

 

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Anyone missing a grandmother for the last 9 years? I'm guessing SS fraud. I can't imagine hiding a body in a freezer for 9 years. I mean, do they keep other stuff in it? 

"Honey, can you please grab the steaks to thaw. They are next to her head."

On a serious note, it's amazing the no one filed a missing persons report on her. Damn, I don't know what is worst, that someone kept her body for 9 years in a freezer or that no one knew/cared that she went missing for 9 years.

 

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/body-found-san-diego-freezer-woman-missing-rcna132399

A body found in a San Diego freezer last month may have been that of a woman who has been missing or dead for up to nine years, police said Thursday.

"Out-of-town" family members who were visiting a residence called local authorities when they discovered the body in the freezer, police said in December.

The family members are related to someone who currently lives in the home and are not related to the woman found in the freezer, according to police. Police added the freezer was running when the body was found.

Police identified the body Thursday as that of Mary Margaret Haxby-Jones, 81, a white woman.

"Based on the investigation to this point, detectives believe it is possible that Haxby-Jones may have been missing or dead for up to nine years," police said.

Police said no missing person's report was ever filed for Haxby-Jones.

She is believed to have lived at the address on Zion Avenue "at some point prior to the discovery of her body," police said.

Police said that the cause of death has yet to be determined and that the medical examiner's office is investigating, adding that "no obvious traumatic injury to the body was noted."

As they continue to investigate the case "as a suspicious death," detectives are asking anyone who may have known Haxby-Jones or has any information about her to come forward. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The wording of that article is confusing me; anyone else have difficulty with it? So out-of-town relations arrive at house and Whoopsie!: Someone's in the freezer. They call authorities but are not related to Ice Ice Granny but instead someone who lives there currently. Yet, Frigidaire Female may have lived at the house at some point. So, who lives there now and why are they not really mentioned?

  • Hook 'Em 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, Mrs Whiggins said:

The wording of that article is confusing me; anyone else have difficulty with it? So out-of-town relations arrive at house and Whoopsie!: Someone's in the freezer. They call authorities but are not related to Ice Ice Granny but instead someone who lives there currently. Yet, Frigidaire Female may have lived at the house at some point. So, who lives there now and why are they not really mentioned?

I think it is purposely obtuse as to not imply and make claims which they cannot yet back up, ie let the authorities finish the investigation before saying the assholes living in the house possibly killed the lady, took over her house, and took her SS income.

  • Hook 'Em 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...