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Posted
5 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


“When he fell asleep after masturbating for roughly an hour”

Golf clap, dude.

“When the female seated next to him noticed the lewd behavior, she began taking pictures of McGarity. When he fell asleep after masturbating for roughly an hour, the female passenger told a crew member about what she had witnessed and was allowed to move to another seat.”

So she watched him masturbate for an hour, with both hands, and videoed it, before complaining?  
(Masturbated for an hour?!?)

  • Haha 1
Posted

Police arrest 23-year-old on charges including attempted murder

LAS VEGAS (KLAS) — A woman faces a charge of attempted murder after police said she stabbed a man several times for refusing to pay for sex.

Las Vegas Metro police officers said they were called to the Venetian hotel around 3:30 a.m. Friday for a report of a stabbing. Security officers at the casino had called 911, saying someone had been stabbed in a hotel room.

Hotel security responded to the room, finding Valerie Villaneueva, 23, in a stairwell. Police said she was covered in blood.

Police later spoke with the victim who was being treated for his injuries at a local hospital.

The victim told police he had met Villaneueva near the slot machines in the hotel’s casino earlier in the evening.

“Villaneueva asked him if he wanted any company,” police wrote in an arrest report. “They agreed to go up to his room [redacted] together. Once inside the room they had consensual sex.”

After having sex, Villaneueva reportedly asked the victim “if he was going to tip her,” police said.

The victim responded, “For what?”

Villaneueva then began going through the victim’s pockets and fighting to get his pants in an attempt to find money, police said. Villaneueva then pulled out a knife and stabbed him three times, police said.

“He stated it happened very fast and he was confused due to how fast everything was happening,” police said.

Police said they later found $345 in Villaneueva’s bra. No money was left in the victim’s pants, police said.

Villaneueva faces charges of attempted murder, robbery and battery. Judge Joseph Sciscento ordered her to be held without bail. A bail hearing was scheduled for Thursday.

Posted

Future surlyites go to kindergarten:

https://news.yahoo.com/class-kindergartners-accidentally-drank-tequila-141411019.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly9sLmZhY2Vib29rLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAE0CrigGAUCR9eUeniFkcFUeY4Z8NKi7rPHLUedethdSbZ7AovaOstCJHVHV0F_WYW6oi4YbIb5vz6X--4RdEl54kI7__4scDwys6Sv6_7zprPKvMwKzqVgwEshsz0Q8yIr0sgNJwN6JTpfVn2FkpGyiy66lS0KoOZCyX5wKq8eN

Quote
INSIDER

A class of kindergartners accidentally drank tequila during snack time at a Michigan school

Yelena Dzhanova
Sat, April 16, 2022, 7:14 AM·2 min read
 
 
A margarita on the rocks with a salted rim, garnished with a lime wedge
 
Fudio/Getty Images
  • A kindergarten class in Michigan accidentally drank tequila during snack time.

  • A student brought in Jose Cuervo's ready-to-drink margaritas and the children thought it was juice.

  • One of the kids "felt woozy" and a "little dizzy" after having four or five sips, a parent said.

A kindergarten class in Michigan accidentally consumed tequila during snack time, Fox 2 Detroit reported.

One of the kids brought a bottle of ready-to-drink Jose Cuervo margaritas to Grand River Academy Livonia in her backpack, according to the news outlet.

Several students drank it. One kindergartner "felt woozy" and a "little dizzy" after having four or five sips from a Dixie cup, a parent told Fox 2 Detroit.

The kindergartners who drank the margaritas told their parents they thought it was juice. But the kindergartner who initially brought the drink in knew it was alcoholic, Fox 2 Detroit reported.

"The girl poured it in her cup and she drank it and the girl ended up telling her what it is, and she went and told the teacher there is liquor in this cup, and the teacher gave her a funny face," Dominique Zanders, a mother of one of the kindergartners, told Fox 2 Detroit.

In a statement, the school said faculty called poison control when they learned the children had been drinking margaritas, according to Fox 2 Detroit.

"While we try to keep an eye on everything our students bring to school, that's simply not possible," the school said in its statement. "It's unfortunate that these types of adult beverages can be easily mistaken for child-friendly drinks."

"I'm not sure if they are short-staffed or whatever, it shouldn't have happened," Zanders told Fox 2 Detroit.

The school said parents were notified immediately and told that their kids were okay.

Outraged parents are blaming the child's own parents.

"If your child knows what it is, nothing wrong with it. But they should know not to touch it," Alexis Smith told Fox 2 Detroit. "That it's not for kids."

"I had a small conversation with my daughter — nothing big — and she told me the girl knew it was liquor," Smith said.

Grand River Academy Livonia did not immediately respond to Insider's request to comment.

 

Posted

Thinking of sending nudes that no one asked for? Think again.

The act will be illegal in Virginia starting July 1 after a recently passed law states that any adult who sends an unsolicited “intimate image” electronically to another adult could be fined $500. The bill comes after a similar bill passed in Texas in 2019.

According to the new law, an “intimate image” means a “photograph, film, video, recording, digital image or other visual reproduction of a person aged 18 or over who is in a state of undress in a manner to expose the human male or female genitalia”.

 

https://goodwordnews.com/it-is-illegal-to-send-unsolicited-nudes-to-virginia-as-of-july-1/

Posted
1 hour ago, Parliament said:

Thinking of sending nudes that no one asked for? Think again.

The act will be illegal in Virginia starting July 1 after a recently passed law states that any adult who sends an unsolicited “intimate image” electronically to another adult could be fined $500. The bill comes after a similar bill passed in Texas in 2019.

According to the new law, an “intimate image” means a “photograph, film, video, recording, digital image or other visual reproduction of a person aged 18 or over who is in a state of undress in a manner to expose the human male or female genitalia”.

 

https://goodwordnews.com/it-is-illegal-to-send-unsolicited-nudes-to-virginia-as-of-july-1/

So tits are still fine? I can live with that.

Posted

Florida bride and caterer charged with lacing wedding food with cannabis

Hearst Television
April 21, 2022
 
   

1200x0.jpg

Two Florida women face felony charges after being accused of lacing food with marijuana at a wedding.

Cady says a friend at her table suspected it: "He's like, 'Are we stoned right now?' And everyone was just kind of looking around at each other laughing and we absolutely were. We were high as a kite, out of our minds."

….

https://www.chron.com/news/article/Florida-bride-and-caterer-charged-with-lacing-17116575.php

Posted

Maybe appropriate skill for the SB thread:

These male spiders catapult at impressive speeds to flee their mates before they get eaten.
After males of the orb-weaving spider Philoponella prominens mate with a female, they quickly launch themselves away, researchers report today (April 25, 2022) in the journal Current Biology. Using a mechanism that hadn’t been described before, the male spiders use a joint in their first pair of legs to immediately undertake a split-second catapult action, flinging themselves away from their partners at impressive speeds clocked at up to 88 centimeters per second (cm/s).

https://scitechdaily.com/male-spiders-catapult-off-their-mates-to-avoid-sexual-cannibalism-high-speed-video/amp/

Posted (edited)

JFC, one of you assholes working for Ulta marketing? Thought about putting this in the lol thread but not sure if even this place shares the depth of my dark humor. Maybe holy shit?

 

C087C117-7A0F-49C4-9288-C22AD40E0B33.jpeg

Edited by 'stache
Posted
8 hours ago, 'stache said:

JFC, one of you assholes working for Ulta marketing? Thought about putting this in the lol thread but not sure if even this place shares the depth of my dark humor. Maybe holy shit?

 

C087C117-7A0F-49C4-9288-C22AD40E0B33.jpeg

For those like me who were unaware, Kate Spade committed suicide by hanging in 2018. Legit holy shit. 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Posted
4 hours ago, BearMace said:

For those like me who were unaware, Kate Spade committed suicide by hanging in 2018. Legit holy shit. 

Thanks for that. I had no idea. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted
On 4/26/2022 at 6:36 AM, nnm said:

Maybe appropriate skill for the SB thread:

These male spiders catapult at impressive speeds to flee their mates before they get eaten.
After males of the orb-weaving spider Philoponella prominens mate with a female, they quickly launch themselves away, researchers report today (April 25, 2022) in the journal Current Biology. Using a mechanism that hadn’t been described before, the male spiders use a joint in their first pair of legs to immediately undertake a split-second catapult action, flinging themselves away from their partners at impressive speeds clocked at up to 88 centimeters per second (cm/s).

https://scitechdaily.com/male-spiders-catapult-off-their-mates-to-avoid-sexual-cannibalism-high-speed-video/amp/



Is that your tibia-metatarsus joint or are you just happy to see me?

  • Haha 1
Posted

what's worst? child porn or peeing in customers' milkshakes? but at least they aren't serving horse meat.

https://www.thenewstribune.com/news/nation-world/national/article261464192.html

"A child porn investigation took another disgusting turn when Vancouver police officers found a video of a man peeing in milkshake mix at an Arby’s restaurant, Washington authorities reported.

The man, a night manager at the restaurant, told police he urinated in the milkshake mix for sexual gratification at least twice, Vancouver police said in a news release."

 

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