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Machinator

6figs/"Trust the Hamm" greatest hits

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2 minutes ago, Scholz said:

So toilet smurf ruined his family for nothing? Sad.

I mean, I don't think those two need to conflate. He ruined his family because he's a stupid piece of shit. If it hadn't been aggy football his little man syndrome would have poisoned his relationships using some other vehicle. Like diddling children or being murdered in an underground midget fight club. 

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2 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

I mean, I don't think those two need to conflate. He ruined his family because he's a stupid piece of shit. If it hadn't been aggy football his little man syndrome would have poisoned his relationships using some other vehicle. Like diddling children or being murdered in an underground midget fight club. 

And that’s fair

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2 hours ago, Scholz said:

So toilet smurf ruined his family for nothing? Sad.

You can be an aggy grad and still have a normal family life, or so I've heard.

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We need to start a Karen Stage 5 Clinger Thread 

I get excited every time this one is bumped hoping Hamm is back ruining his life. 

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On 5/14/2020 at 10:27 AM, HtownHorn said:

What is amazing is that his twitter bio is still the same, is AggieScoop still even a facebook group?

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On 4/21/2020 at 10:00 PM, texifornia said:

Self-imposed board exile is going great

EWLKthAX0AA26G7?format=png&name=900x900

You can type vagina on TexAgs, as long as you spell it correctly. 

L-I-U-C-C-I

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Posted (edited)

Taking suggestions for Batshit Crazy Karen Jimbo Hag Thread title 

Edited by Neonmoon

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Boxed Wine, Merchant Marines, Bags of Cash and Jimbo on speed dial are all part of her greatest hits too. 

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I think we should change the name of this thread to reflect that not only is hamm not the best in the business, but he’s no longer in the business at all.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

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7 minutes ago, texifornia said:

 Holy shit Karen pitched CHANGING THE WORDS TO THE WAR HYMN

EYfif5yXgAUBJD6?format=jpg&name=360x360

  Hide contents

EYfijJpXsAIqK_6?format=jpg&name=360x360EYfioVuXYAAjRzW?format=png&name=360x360EYfitDnWAAYbw7f?format=jpg&name=360x360

 

My favorite...

 "Shut Up Karen"

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1 hour ago, Carl Spackler said:

Last sentence -- particularly strong delusion.  

 EYfiwaRXsAAJKaI?format=png&name=360x360

"... by being superior in every way possible..."

Now that, my friends, is unfettered, unabashed, and untamed aggy. 

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1 hour ago, MuellerHorn said:

"... by being superior in every way possible..."

Now that, my friends, is unfettered, unabashed, and untamed aggy. 

Straight from the hillbilly stills of the primordial Brazos Valley ooze, we present to you... maroon lightning!

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3 hours ago, texifornia said:

 Holy shit Karen pitched CHANGING THE WORDS TO THE WAR HYMN

EYfif5yXgAUBJD6?format=jpg&name=360x360

  Hide contents

EYfijJpXsAIqK_6?format=jpg&name=360x360EYfioVuXYAAjRzW?format=png&name=360x360EYfitDnWAAYbw7f?format=jpg&name=360x360

 

This is perfect. Someone go on tigerdroppings and see if they will stop being so profane when the band plays Neck or whatever the fuck board Tennessee Vol fans post on and see if they can remove the alcohol references from Rocky Top since it’s a bad influence on minors...just perfect

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3 hours ago, Carl Spackler said:

Last sentence -- particularly strong delusion.  

 

They don’t care about law, medicine, business or most kinds of engineering so makes perfect sense. 🤣

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So Hamm is really staying off social media???  It wasn’t long ago he was the best in the biz....
He got told to STFU and did.

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1 hour ago, markstanco said:
On 5/14/2020 at 9:26 AM, EZ$ said:
So Hamm is really staying off social media???  It wasn’t long ago he was the best in the biz....

He got told to STFU and did.

By who?

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21 minutes ago, UDontKnow said:

By who?

Most likely his family lawyer telling him exactly what he needed to do to see his kids. Remember when he was bragging about breaking aggy news stories and making them cry while on one of his rare visitations with them?

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1 minute ago, texifornia said:

Most likely his family lawyer telling him exactly what he needed to do to see his kids. Remember when he was bragging about breaking aggy news stories and making them cry while on one of his rare visitations with them?

I guess I missed that. I recall that prior to him getting divorced, he pretty much told his children that he couldn't spend time with them because he allegedly had to work when in reality he was at a water park with aggy recruits. I'm shocked that finally someone got through to him, but then again given the issues he has, it wouldn't surprise me if he's no longer on this earth.

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5 minutes ago, UDontKnow said:

I guess I missed that. I recall that prior to him getting divorced, he pretty much told his children that he couldn't spend time with them because he allegedly had to work when in reality he was at a water park with aggy recruits. I'm shocked that finally someone got through to him, but then again given the issues he has, it wouldn't surprise me if he's no longer on this earth.

He updates his LinkedIn on the regular - he's a Regional Account Manager for an energy company (not sure what that means in that industry): https://www.linkedin.com/in/taylor-hamm-132379a9/

Now that he's stopped being an insane person all over social media, and his wife and kids are in a better place, I do kind of hope he puts his life together.

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3 hours ago, texifornia said:

Most likely his family lawyer telling him exactly what he needed to do to see his kids. Remember when he was bragging about breaking aggy news stories and making them cry while on one of his rare visitations with them?

I believe the video of his kid crying was a) before he was split up with his wife and b) specifically because daddy had to go to work jock sniffing a Joseph Ossai high school football game, not a visitation. I *think* the time he made the video at the Houston zoo where he was hungover/puffy faced/drunk as fuck about breaking shit while his kid sat in the truck waiting for daddy to stop bragging/“working” was a visitation during separation.  That was basically the beginning of his social media downward spiral. 

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6 hours ago, texifornia said:

He updates his LinkedIn on the regular - he's a Regional Account Manager for an energy company (not sure what that means in that industry): https://www.linkedin.com/in/taylor-hamm-132379a9/

Now that he's stopped being an insane person all over social media, and his wife and kids are in a better place, I do kind of hope he puts his life together.

Looks like he only last 9 months at his recruiting job...I’m sure this one will work especially with the oil market like it is currently 

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16 hours ago, texifornia said:

 Holy shit Karen pitched CHANGING THE WORDS TO THE WAR HYMN

EYfif5yXgAUBJD6?format=jpg&name=360x360

  Reveal hidden contents

EYfijJpXsAIqK_6?format=jpg&name=360x360EYfioVuXYAAjRzW?format=png&name=360x360EYfitDnWAAYbw7f?format=jpg&name=360x360

 

Karen should threaten them with ovaries on the table. Then they will have no choice but to surrender.

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On 5/15/2020 at 7:29 PM, Neonmoon said:

Taking suggestions for Batshit Crazy Karen Jimbo Hag Thread title 

OK Karen - The KKL Saga

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Posted (edited)
On 5/20/2020 at 5:21 PM, texifornia said:

 Holy shit Karen pitched CHANGING THE WORDS TO THE WAR HYMN

EYfif5yXgAUBJD6?format=jpg&name=360x360

  Reveal hidden contents

EYfijJpXsAIqK_6?format=jpg&name=360x360EYfioVuXYAAjRzW?format=png&name=360x360EYfitDnWAAYbw7f?format=jpg&name=360x360

 

 

Karen must be ranting??

 

Edited by LTtxfan

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10 minutes ago, LTtxfan said:

 

Karen must be ranting??

 

thought it was just an aggy twitter troll talking about how the Hermans were wearing shirts made by a player's mom.  Taylor just using Karen to sound cool.

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Are the College Station cops as red ass as those West Baton Rouge "special" sheriffs on Live PD?   After seeing all the Sumlin era arrests and BBQ chill sessions with CSPD, I would be leery of aggy if I was a 2021 recruit, but the West Baton Rouge sheriff's office  takes it to a whole 'nother level.  Every Saturday night is a string of pot, crackhead, thieves, and fleeing felons arrested by long haired "Man Bun" dudes wearing Hawaiian shirts and bullet proof vests.  Baton Rouge is a true shit hole.  

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16 hours ago, lemonandaturd said:

Are the College Station cops as red ass as those West Baton Rouge "special" sheriffs on Live PD?   After seeing all the Sumlin era arrests and BBQ chill sessions with CSPD, I would be leery of aggy if I was a 2021 recruit, but the West Baton Rouge sheriff's office  takes it to a whole 'nother level.  Every Saturday night is a string of pot, crackhead, thieves, and fleeing felons arrested by long haired "Man Bun" dudes wearing Hawaiian shirts and bullet proof vests.  Baton Rouge is a true shit hole.  

 

While your last statement is true, Baton Rouge is not in West Baton Rouge Parish.

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On 5/21/2020 at 9:45 AM, Bevo14 said:

Karen should threaten them with ovaries on the table. Then they will have no choice but to surrender.

"Saw Karen Key Largo's ovaries off"?

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21 minutes ago, happyhookem said:

 

While your last statement is true, Baton Rouge is not in West Baton Rouge Parish.

North, South, East and West Baton Rouge probably all have a fairly high shithole factor.  

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Put it on a trophy aggy... Athlon Preseason #11

Athlon Magazine reveals official preseason top 25 rankings

By   SAM HELLMAN     May 23rd

https://247sports.com/longformarticle/college-football-preseason-rankings-athlon-magazine-reveals-top-25-clemson-ohio-state-alabama-lsu-147452915/

11. Texas A&M -- The Aggies check in third among SEC West teams in the Athlon standings. The third season in College Station for Jimbo Fisher has potential to be a breakthrough one. Quarterback Kellen Mond returns for his third season as a starter. He has 44 touchdowns to 18 interceptions with 6,004 passing yards, 975 rushing yards and 15 rushing touchdowns in his two seasons as a starter under Fisher. The Aggies are favorites in their first six games, which could set up for a decisive Oct. 17 road trip to Auburn.

16. Texas — The Longhorns will have a new look with Tom Herman’s coaching changes, including the additions of Chris Ash and Mike Yurcich as defensive and offensive coordinators respectively. Yurcich, who worked at Ohio State last season, gets to work with one of the nation’s top quarterbacks in Sam Ehlinger. The senior threw for 3,663 yards, 32 touchdowns and 10 picks last season.

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8 hours ago, LTtxfan said:

Put it on a trophy aggy... Athlon Preseason #11

Athlon Magazine reveals official preseason top 25 rankings

By   SAM HELLMAN     May 23rd

https://247sports.com/longformarticle/college-football-preseason-rankings-athlon-magazine-reveals-top-25-clemson-ohio-state-alabama-lsu-147452915/

11. Texas A&M -- The Aggies check in third among SEC West teams in the Athlon standings. The third season in College Station for Jimbo Fisher has potential to be a breakthrough one. Quarterback Kellen Mond returns for his third season as a starter. He has 44 touchdowns to 18 interceptions with 6,004 passing yards, 975 rushing yards and 15 rushing touchdowns in his two seasons as a starter under Fisher. The Aggies are favorites in their first six games, which could set up for a decisive Oct. 17 road trip to Auburn.

16. Texas — The Longhorns will have a new look with Tom Herman’s coaching changes, including the additions of Chris Ash and Mike Yurcich as defensive and offensive coordinators respectively. Yurcich, who worked at Ohio State last season, gets to work with one of the nation’s top quarterbacks in Sam Ehlinger. The senior threw for 3,663 yards, 32 touchdowns and 10 picks last season.

Mond has been a starter for 3 years. He started the 3rd game of 2017 and he's been the starter ever since. So 3 years and 44 touchdowns is what ESPN and aggy are selling as a 1st round QB? 

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3 hours ago, texaslong said:

Mond has been a starter for 3 years. He started the 3rd game of 2017 and he's been the starter ever since. So 3 years and 44 touchdowns is what ESPN and aggy are selling as a 1st round QB? 

WATCH.THE.TAPE.

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17 hours ago, texaslong said:

Mond has been a starter for 3 years. He started the 3rd game of 2017 and he's been the starter ever since. So 3 years and 44 touchdowns is what ESPN and aggy are selling as a 1st round QB? 

It's almost as if he plays well against shitty competition and then shits the bed whenever he plays teams with a pulse...

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1 hour ago, Orange&White said:

It's almost as if he plays well against shitty competition and then shits the bed whenever he plays teams with a pulse...

cary elwes andr roussimoff GIF

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Article by "golfclap" found by @texifornia

Aggy gonna need new shorts after reading this section regarding their 2020 National Championship odds:

Texas A&M Aggies (+3,000)

  • If ... the defensive line rebounds. Jimbo Fisher's first two seasons as A&M coach have seen clear defensive improvement, but last season's run defense was a bit volatile: A&M was 12th in stuff rate but 72nd in rushing success rate and a pushover in short yardage.  Outside of star tackle Justin Madubuike, the rotation was also quite young. Freshman end DeMarvin Leal and four sophomores played key roles, and while Madubuike is now a Baltimore Raven, the rest of the rotation returns mostly intact. It's the same for a linebacking corps that includes disruptors Buddy Johnson and Anthony Hines III. If experience leads to consistency, this could be a top-15 D.
  • If ... a shutdown corner emerges. LSU, Alabama, Auburn, Georgia, Florida ... all the SEC teams ahead of Texas A&M last season had at least one dynamite cornerback. Great cover guys tend to allow under 5 adjusted yards per attempt (like ANY/A, but without the sacks) in coverage, but Myles Jones was at 8.2, Elijah Blades 9.0. Can these veterans improve? Might coordinator Mike Elko need to turn to younger options?
  • If ... 2019 was Kellen Mond's mulligan. Because of his potential and the number of contenders A&M played, I named Mond as college football's most important player last August. (I ranked Joe Burrow second. Almost nailed it.) Granted, he was working with a young, banged-up skill corps, but he still had a disappointing season, going from 6.6 ANY/A in 2018 to 6.0.  He has a senior season to right wrongs. Running back Isaiah Spiller and leading receiver Jhamon Ausbon return, and the list of young, blue-chip skill guys is increasing. The line returns four starters too. Mond has one last shot to break through and a better cast for pulling it off.
  • If ... the big plays return. Among A&M's offensive problems was a definitive lack of easy points. The Aggies enjoyed just 21 gains of 30-plus yards all season, 101st in the FBS. If Mond improves, so will this, but it needs to improve quite a bit.

 

Edited by LTtxfan
Just kidding "golfclap"

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