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Eat a dick, Bret Bielema, you fat fucking retard

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On 3/26/2018 at 10:40 AM, Longboard Horn said:

Punchable faces:

1. Bert

2. Craig James 

3. Daniel Figurelli 

4. Kevin Morgan 

Not necessarily in that order

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On 3/31/2018 at 1:01 AM, NIUHuskies said:
Quote

Magnificent two level European style Estate on 2 acres in Bridgewater. Beautiful details and spacious living in one of Fayetteville’s finest homes. This outstanding 6309 square foot Manor features a circular drive with 5 garages, 2 fireplaces, 4 bedrooms, 5.5 baths, gourmet kitchen, wet bar, exercise room, heated saltwater pool, family inspired outdoor kitchen, landscaping and many more amenities!

name the most unused room in the house

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Damn. The Arkansas Times brings it.  From the last paragraph of the article: 

"No word on where he's moving, but there's a little internet speculation that he might land a permanent role of some kind with the Patriots organization. Such a move would represent a change of pace for the Pats, known for hiring highly competent staff. "

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A saltwater pool? Is that really a thing? I've never heard of anyone having a saltwater pool at their home. I can't imagine why anyone would want that and it seems like the upkeep would be a lot more hassle. 

Now, if it was a giant saltwater aquarium with tropical fish and coral that's big enough to go snorkeling or SCUBA diving in, I could understand that. That would be pretty cool. Otherwise I don't get it. 

Maybe using saltwater in the pool was the only way to make Bielema buoyant. 

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46 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

A saltwater pool? Is that really a thing? I've never heard of anyone having a saltwater pool at their home. I can't imagine why anyone would want that and it seems like the upkeep would be a lot more hassle. 

Now, if it was a giant saltwater aquarium with tropical fish and coral that's big enough to go snorkeling or SCUBA diving in, I could understand that. That would be pretty cool. Otherwise I don't get it. 

Maybe using saltwater in the pool was the only way to make Bielema buoyant. 

You serious Clark?  Salt water pools are pretty common.

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19 minutes ago, Assman said:

You serious Clark?  Salt water pools are pretty common.

Totally serious. I've never heard of it. It sounds really stupid to me. What's the point?

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Minimal amount of salt in the water helps keep the algae from growing, minimizing the amount of chemicals needed to keep the water clear. Chlorine is still needed but not in the amounts as a non-salt water pool. The amount of salt is not even noticeable to the swimmers. 

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36 minutes ago, Lone Star Horn said:

Minimal amount of salt in the water helps keep the algae from growing, minimizing the amount of chemicals needed to keep the water clear. Chlorine is still needed but not in the amounts as a non-salt water pool. The amount of salt is not even noticeable to the swimmers. 

Ah. I was imagining salt like in seawater. I would think that would raise problems in the filtration system. And make it hard to see underwater. So I guess it's just like a regular pool but with a little salt in it? Yeah, I can see how that's a thing. Especially when it comes to selling your pool. 

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Minimal amount of salt in the water helps keep the algae from growing, minimizing the amount of chemicals needed to keep the water clear. Chlorine is still needed but not in the amounts as a non-salt water pool. The amount of salt is not even noticeable to the swimmers. 
None of this is correct. Salt "conditions/softens" water a bit (Hey, Culligan man) but is used in pools with an electric chlorine generator cell that turns salt into chlorine through electrolysis. Just an alternative method of supplying chlorine to a pool. Certainly sold as a advantage in brochures for luxury homes, but you know that the fat fuck never got out of the pool to pee or could even reach his fat ass to wipe, so any sanitizing capability of any chlorine system would be overwhelmed in this case.

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1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Ah. I was imagining salt like in seawater. I would think that would raise problems in the filtration system. And make it hard to see underwater. So I guess it's just like a regular pool but with a little salt in it? Yeah, I can see how that's a thing. Especially when it comes to selling your pool. 

I thought the same thing when I first heard the term (saltwater, like the ocean) then my in-laws converted and it's nothing like that.  It's a clean poll that feels a lot less "chemically" than most pools.  It's a significant upgrade.  Not sure how the science works, but the salt is minimal and the reduction in "chemically" feeling chlorine is noticeable.

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On 4/9/2018 at 9:00 AM, trueut2003 said:

Dude gets $300,000 a month to sit on his ass.

$300,000 a month to sit on his ass while smelling like a combination of belly button, feet, and egg salad. I guarantee you that nasty bastard simultaneously eats Sour Cream and Onion chips while masturbating to Thai porn all afternoon.

 

 

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Dunno, Guys. Maybe he's taking this time to work on self-improvement. Maybe he joined a crossfit gym and he's out job shadowing good coaches.

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$300,000 a month to sit on his ass while smelling like a combination of belly button, feet, and egg salad. I guarantee you that nasty bastard simultaneously eats Sour Cream and Onion chips while masturbating to Thai porn all afternoon.
 
 
giphy.gif

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$300,000 a month to sit on his ass while smelling like a combination of belly button, feet, and egg salad. I guarantee you that nasty bastard simultaneously eats Sour Cream and Onion chips while masturbating to Thai porn all afternoon.
 
 


God damn the thought of that

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1 hour ago, Texas Ex '02 said:

It's borderline erotic that no one hired that tub of lard.

No school is stupid enough to hire him. They know he'll rob them of millions. If anyone hires him, it'll be on account of Jen fucking the AD

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6 hours ago, Longboard Horn said:

No school is stupid enough to hire him. They know he'll rob them of millions. If anyone hires him, it'll be on account of Jen fucking the AD

And that's fair.

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On 4/11/2018 at 7:56 PM, F250 said:

I guarantee you that nasty bastard simultaneously eats Sour Cream and Onion chips while masturbating to Thai porn all afternoon.

 

 

Wait, are you talking about the FFR or the average Surly poster?

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Man - I hope he doesn't go to the Pat's.

Not because I give a shit who the Hoodie has on his coaching staff, but seriously one of the things that I most liked about college football was waiting each week to see if Bert fucked away another game.
I'm gonna miss Bert, and his pressers.

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On 4/13/2018 at 8:31 AM, Wally Fairway said:

Man - I hope he doesn't go to the Pat's.

Not because I give a shit who the Hoodie has on his coaching staff, but seriously one of the things that I most liked about college football was waiting each week to see if Bert fucked away another game.
I'm gonna miss Bert, and his pressers.

Alas...

Pats give retard a chance

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6 minutes ago, GhostofDanJones said:

He won't last long. Let's see who Jen will fuck in order to keep Bert around the pats organization.

Surly you jest...

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Signs that Bert is classless: pretending to be pushed by an opposing player, then celebrating when the flag is thrown.

ff00f100-70ed-11e5-a1f1-e1bce8f252a3_ber

Edited by Longboard Horn

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5 hours ago, Longboard Horn said:

Signs that Bert is a fat fucking retard: pretending to be pushed by an opposing player, then celebrating when the flag is thrown.

ff00f100-70ed-11e5-a1f1-e1bce8f252a3_ber

fify

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On 4/9/2018 at 9:47 AM, 'stache said:

I thought the same thing when I first heard the term (saltwater, like the ocean) then my in-laws converted and it's nothing like that.  It's a clean poll that feels a lot less "chemically" than most pools.  It's a significant upgrade.  Not sure how the science works, but the salt is minimal and the reduction in "chemically" feeling chlorine is noticeable.


Plus the saltwater is more buoyant, meaning heavier objects can float on it using less energy.

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He's taking a year to spend with his family and recharge the batteries.  Bert is a good person.  He got in over his head and flaked out; that's all.  Just you wait.  He's gonna be back, bigger better than ever in 2019!

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He's taking a year to spend with his family and recharge the batteries.  Bert is a good person.  He got in over his head and flaked out; that's all.  Just you wait.  He's gonna be back, bigger better than ever in 2019!


Negged. He’s not a good dude.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/bret-bielema-is-enjoying-the-nfl-so-much-he-may-never-go-back-to-college-football/

Bret Bielema is enjoying the NFL so much, he may never go back to college football
 

Quote

Bret Bielema isn't going to Kansas.

And he might not be returning to college football.

Bielema's name has come up as a popular choice to replace David Beaty, Kansas' embattled coach.

New Kansas athletic director Jeff Long hired Bielema at Arkansas in 2013. Long ultimately may have lost his job in Fayetteville because he didn't fire his coach after five mostly-disappointing seasons. Bielema was finally let go Nov. 24 as he walked off the field following a loss to Missouri. That was nine days after Long was fired.

While Bielema would not speak to the Kansas situation, sources close to him said the 48-year-old coach would not be returning to college football with his former boss at KU.

Whether Bielema goes back to college football at all appears to be a long shot, too. Since being fired by Arkansas, Bielema has joined the New England Patriots in a still-undefined role. Bielema reportedly helped the Pats during the combine and NFL Draft.

"The thing I love about football in the NFL is you go to work at 6 a.m. and you leave at 9 [p.m.] and it's nothing but football," Bielema told CBS Sports. "It's just purely football."

Look for an announcement soon regarding Bielema perhaps landing a more permanent job with the Pats. Pro Football Talk said that Bielema will "likely" have a spot on the defensive side of the ball.

That's where most of his experience lies. Before becoming a head coach, Bielema was defensive coordinator at Wisconsin, co-DC at Kansas State and linebackers coach at Iowa.

"It's a whole different way to coach [in the NFL]," Bielema said. "I understand once they go to that level, coaches don't ever go back.

"One of the most 'a-ha' moments was one of the first drills I did during OTAs," he added. "I had 11 [defensive] guys go through the drills. 'Holy cow, these guys are good.' These are the elite of your elite."

If this is it for Bielema in the college game, he will leave quite a legacy. Following his mentor Barry Alvarez at Wisconsin, Bielema won at least 10 games in seven seasons as the Badgers' coach. At one time, he was the college game's most elite coaches. Wisconsin's brand of physical play in both lines boiled the game down to its physical essence. There wasn't much fooling the Badgers.

But Bielema shocked the football world at the top of his career, wanting to test his chops in the SEC. Following back-to-back Rose Bowl appearances, Bielema went to Arkansas in 2013. In five seasons with the Hogs, he was 29-34.

Unless there is a college reset for Bielema, that grand career experiment may have failed. Meanwhile, Wisconsin hasn't missed a beat lately. Paul Chryst -- Bielema's former offensive coordinator -- is 34-7 in his three seasons as coach.

"Paul's kind of kept to the same formula," Bielema said. "It's obviously one that has worked in that niche market."

 

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4 hours ago, tx ind said:

Time to invest in buffets near Foxboro

Eff that.  Can't make money at buffets with Bert consuming 8000+ calories in a sitting.

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20 hours ago, Machinator said:

https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/bret-bielema-is-enjoying-the-nfl-so-much-he-may-never-go-back-to-college-football/

Bret Bielema is enjoying the NFL so much, he may never go back to college football
 

 

What a doofus. After working out NFL NE Patriot defensive players he is amazed that "wow, these guys are good".

thread title to ya dick head.

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CFB is better with Bert in it.
Yeah, not a lot of eccentric personalities left in CFB. Even Harbaugh seems to have toned down his act lately..

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