Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

2 hours ago, tbone_ said:

I bet she did when you crushed a mule in the bathroom after.

 I simply cannot stop snickering at this...

  • Replies 23.8k
  • Views 2.2m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

  • BearCountry11
    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

Posted Images

8 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:

Got back last night from a week-long trip to Colorado skiing.  We drove.

I pack the car.  I also unpack the car.  Luggage, skis, boots, gear, etc.  Skis and poles go in the roof box.  This time so did the boots.  She assists with the unload.

Her:  Why did you put the boots in the roof box?  They were in my boot bag.

Me:  I pulled them out so I could flatten the boot bags.  Easier to see out the back with the rear-view mirror.

H:  They were in the bag though.

M:  Yes.  Yes they were:

H:   I didn't want them up there.

M:  What difference does it make?  It's storage space for shit we don't need in the car.  They were up there on the ride up too.  

H:  I wanted them in the bag.  Especially on the ride up because I don't like putting on cold boots.  You could have put the bag to the side.

M:  The boots had all night to get to room temperature, so that's not a good reason.  Tell you what, next time you can load the gear.

So she doesn't like my tone.  And because she's irritated, instead of setting my skis down on the concrete driveway like they should, she decides to de-tune the edges by setting the tips down and sliding them across the driveway until she puts the tails down.  I know her and she didn't do it on purpose out of spite - more likely she's frosted about the boot thing and not paying attention.

M:  The fuck you do that for?

H:  ????

M:  I could hear the edges grinding on the driveway (someone may accurately point out that edges on the tips should be de-tuned anyway, but it shouldn't be with the driveway method, so that's not the point).

H:  They're fine.

M:  You'd have a conniption if I did that to your gear.  Help me get the roof box off please.

The roof box is light, but bulky.  Helps to have two people.  I slide the front of the box off the rack towards her to grab.  I have the back and am ready to lift.

M:  Ready?

H: . . . . . . . . .

M:  Ok?

H: . . . . . .

M:  It's customary to have a verbal acknowledgment if you are asked if you are ready or not.  Ready?  Yes or no?

H.  Maybe.

There’s a lot of tales on here that make me cringe, but wow. If that’s an accurate play by play you’ve got my sympathy 

13 hours ago, tbone_ said:


This. I told them no. They showed up any way. I unplug them every time I walk past one and bury it in a drawer. Before too long I will just throw them away.

2001-lead.jpg

9 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Lldog is OG.. but damn, not sure if ive ever heard anyone trash fritos.

Stick around this website long enough and you’ll eventually hear all sorts of crazy shit.

10 hours ago, Incredulity said:

The make-up sex is going to be awesome.

If she’s made it this far in life with that attitude, she must be an absolute monster in the sack.

 

10 hours ago, Incredulity said:

The make-up sex is going to be awesome.

Her aunt is coming to visit (surprise?) so I need to get after it.

3 minutes ago, Upgrayedd said:

Her aunt is coming to visit (surprise?) so I need to get after it.

get you some. is she hot?

7 minutes ago, AM Wood said:

get you some. is she hot?

I think I watched this one last night 

8 hours ago, bluto said:

Flaming hot Fritos are an interesting spin on frito pie. The og is still the way to go though. 

The idiot who concocted spicy bbq flavor  Fritos should be stood up against a wall and shot with silver bullets.

44 minutes ago, AM Wood said:

get you some. is she hot?

Rule 1A: No matter how hot she is, someone is tired of her shit.

The idiot who concocted spicy bbq flavor  Fritos should be stood up against a wall and shot with silver bullets.


Coors light?

Need Keystone or Icehouse to poison the tastebuds before consuming spicy bbq Fritos.

HEB "Texas Dippers" is indistinguishable from the Fritos brand.

 

Carry on.

12 hours ago, After irth said:

What a horrible bitch. 

Her attitude sucks too. 

Lol. Kinda my thoughts, too.

This is probably unfair and not based on enough data, but why do people marry cunts like this?

 

11 hours ago, Llogg said:

There's something worse than Fritos?

Llogg and the Stupid Shit He Says/Does

13 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:

So she doesn't like my tone.  And because she's irritated, instead of setting my skis down on the concrete driveway like they should, she decides to de-tune the edges by setting the tips down and sliding them across the driveway until she puts the tails down.  I know her and she didn't do it on purpose out of spite - more likely she's frosted about the boot thing and not paying attention.

M:  The fuck you do that for?

H:  ????

M:  I could hear the edges grinding on the driveway (someone may accurately point out that edges on the tips should be de-tuned anyway, but it shouldn't be with the driveway method, so that's not the point).

H:  They're fine.

M:  You'd have a conniption if I did that to your gear.  Help me get the roof box off please.

White people problems.

8 minutes ago, Asithappens said:

Lol. Kinda my thoughts, too.

This is probably unfair and not based on enough data, but why do people marry cunts like this?

 

Pussy. It's a powerful thing, son.

My wife and I recently bought a really old house that we're going to renovate.  First step is to pull down some badly-installed sheetrock in the entryway to expose the original shiplap boards underneath.  We want to paint those so that we get the effect of having the exposed wood.  She was trying to put together a project plan last night.  For reference, I'm a project manager by trade, so it's clear this wasn't going to go so well.  Two of the steps involve pulling down the existing sheetrock, and finishing the boards underneath, and she could not figure out what order to do this in.  I spent 20 minutes explaining why you had to pull the sheetrock down first before you could paint the boards underneath.  I have no idea how I managed to not run screaming from the building.  She kept saying "I have to think visually".  Ok, I get that, but we finally got to the point where I said "you're ready to paint, but you haven't pulled the sheetrock down yet.  What are  you painting?".  The answer is "sheetrock", not what she was looking for.  I'm still not sure she believes me.

27 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

White people problems.

I’ve never been snow skiing.

Just now, Mudcat35 said:

My wife and I recently bought a really old house that we're going to renovate.  First step is to pull down some badly-installed sheetrock in the entryway to expose the original shiplap boards underneath.  We want to paint those so that we get the effect of having the exposed wood.  She was trying to put together a project plan last night.  For reference, I'm a project manager by trade, so it's clear this wasn't going to go so well.  Two of the steps involve pulling down the existing sheetrock, and finishing the boards underneath, and she could not figure out what order to do this in.  I spent 20 minutes explaining why you had to pull the sheetrock down first before you could paint the boards underneath.  I have no idea how I managed to not run screaming from the building.  She kept saying "I have to think visually".  Ok, I get that, but we finally got to the point where I said "you're ready to paint, but you haven't pulled the sheetrock down yet.  What are  you painting?".  The answer is "sheetrock", not what she was looking for.  I'm still not sure she believes me.

oh you poor bastard

  • Popular Post
1 minute ago, huge said:

oh you poor bastard

No kidding. Does she even know to pull her pants down before taking a shit?

13 minutes ago, Mudcat35 said:

My wife and I recently bought a really old house that we're going to renovate.  First step is to pull down some badly-installed sheetrock in the entryway to expose the original shiplap boards underneath.  We want to paint those so that we get the effect of having the exposed wood.  She was trying to put together a project plan last night.  For reference, I'm a project manager by trade, so it's clear this wasn't going to go so well.  Two of the steps involve pulling down the existing sheetrock, and finishing the boards underneath, and she could not figure out what order to do this in.  I spent 20 minutes explaining why you had to pull the sheetrock down first before you could paint the boards underneath.  I have no idea how I managed to not run screaming from the building.  She kept saying "I have to think visually".  Ok, I get that, but we finally got to the point where I said "you're ready to paint, but you haven't pulled the sheetrock down yet.  What are  you painting?".  The answer is "sheetrock", not what she was looking for.  I'm still not sure she believes me.

This is not someone I would embark upon an expensive DIY home renovation project with. But then again, I don't eat disgusting nutritionally deficient shit like Fritos either, so I guess everyone else around here is envious of your choice of partner.

Edited by Llogg

21 minutes ago, Llogg said:

This is not someone I would embark upon an expensive DIY home renovation project with. But then again, I don't eat disgusting nutritionally deficient shit like Fritos either, so I guess everyone else around here is envious of your choice of partner.

Nutritionally deficient? I suppose you think bacon is nutritionally deficient because it doesn't have enough vitamin C? What about ribeye?

9 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Nutritionally deficient? I suppose you think bacon is nutritionally deficient because it doesn't have enough vitamin C? What about ribeye?

Bacon and steak are food, not congealed corn dust.

11 minutes ago, Llogg said:

Bacon and steak are food, not congealed corn dust.

Look.  I think we can all agree for you to be wrong about Fritos.

Now say something stupid that your wife did HURRY

57 minutes ago, Llogg said:

This is not someone I would embark upon an expensive DIY home renovation project with. But then again, I don't eat disgusting nutritionally deficient shit like Fritos either, so I guess everyone else around here is envious of your choice of partner.

As opposed to all those other magnificently nutritious salty snacks out there?

Dude, you said something stupid and got called out on it.   When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

Move on.

1 hour ago, Mudcat35 said:

My wife and I recently bought a really old house that we're going to renovate.  First step is to pull down some badly-installed sheetrock in the entryway to expose the original shiplap boards underneath.  We want to paint those so that we get the effect of having the exposed wood.  She was trying to put together a project plan last night.  For reference, I'm a project manager by trade, so it's clear this wasn't going to go so well.  Two of the steps involve pulling down the existing sheetrock, and finishing the boards underneath, and she could not figure out what order to do this in.  I spent 20 minutes explaining why you had to pull the sheetrock down first before you could paint the boards underneath.  I have no idea how I managed to not run screaming from the building.  She kept saying "I have to think visually".  Ok, I get that, but we finally got to the point where I said "you're ready to paint, but you haven't pulled the sheetrock down yet.  What are  you painting?".  The answer is "sheetrock", not what she was looking for.  I'm still not sure she believes me.

You really need to document the progress of this renovation by posting pictures here

28 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

You really need to document the progress of this renovation by posting pictures here

Sneaky way to get him to adhere to the Surly rules

14 hours ago, Covri said:

Wife brought home kroger brand corn chips instead of Fritos to make frito pie. Should this go here or in why did you get divorced thread?

 

And yes they are noticeably sucky compared to the real ones. 

Frito pie?

 

When the fuck did we get to TexAgs.

1 hour ago, Llogg said:

Bacon and steak are food, not congealed corn dust.

This is a site where a substantial amount of posters wear cargo shorts. I'd just let it go and let them eat in filth man.

16 minutes ago, G650 said:

Frito pie?

 

When the fuck did we get to TexAgs.

 

fuck right off with this shit.

1 minute ago, PilotsError said:

 

fuck right off with this shit.

Yeah, bet he puts beans in his chili and cooks his steak well done.

This is a site where a substantial amount of posters wear cargo shorts. I'd just let it go and let them eat in filth man.
Lldogg hates fritos and wears cargos. The worst kind
Just now, MNLonghornFUKM said:
20 minutes ago, G650 said:
This is a site where a substantial amount of posters wear cargo shorts. I'd just let it go and let them eat in filth man.

Lldogg hates fritos and wears cargos. The worst kind

Well shit. I'll leave him to his own devices then.

24 minutes ago, G650 said:

Frito pie?

 

When the fuck did we get to TexAgs.

Frito pie is goddamn delicious you watch your mouth. 

And that's coming from someone that hasn't owned a pair of cargo shorts for 15 years. 

4 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

 cooks his steak well done.

tenor.gif

I think that the G man was conflating fritos and cargos.

Remember, this is a guy that says suit pants with belt loops are only for the unwashed masses.

you know how they say you should eat stuff with the fewest ingredients on the label, and that you should be able to pronounce each?

 

corn, corn oil, salt

 

fritos originals, bitch.

6 minutes ago, huge said:

I think that the G man was conflating fritos and cargos.

Remember, this is a guy that says suit pants with belt loops are only for the unwashed masses.

I'd wager the correlation between Fritos eaters and cargo shorts is much higher than Fritos eaters who don't wear cargos.

Edited by G650

17 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

$240 haircut? That shit better hold up long enough to look good in the casket.

For a cut an color that is on the cheaper side IME.   That it happens only once or twice a year it makes it palpable.   My hair cuts are cheaper and more frequent.

1 hour ago, TrashMaster G said:

As opposed to all those other magnificently nutritious salty snacks out there?

Dude, you said something stupid and got called out on it.   When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

Move on.

That does it. I’m gonna make a veggie straw pie and see how that goes. 

On 3/4/2019 at 11:07 AM, JimmyHoffa said:

 

It was pretty much this. They finally decided on a place, I called to make a reservation and they were full which started the whole process over again. I then made a reservation on my own without female approval and everyone was happy with the outcome. 

 

LMAO! Yeah, they were happy to your face. Because women, bro.

3 hours ago, Mudcat35 said:

My wife and I recently bought a really old house that we're going to renovate.  First step is to pull down some badly-installed sheetrock in the entryway to expose the original shiplap boards underneath.  We want to paint those so that we get the effect of having the exposed wood.  She was trying to put together a project plan last night.  For reference, I'm a project manager by trade, so it's clear this wasn't going to go so well.  Two of the steps involve pulling down the existing sheetrock, and finishing the boards underneath, and she could not figure out what order to do this in.  I spent 20 minutes explaining why you had to pull the sheetrock down first before you could paint the boards underneath.  I have no idea how I managed to not run screaming from the building.  She kept saying "I have to think visually".  Ok, I get that, but we finally got to the point where I said "you're ready to paint, but you haven't pulled the sheetrock down yet.  What are  you painting?".  The answer is "sheetrock", not what she was looking for.  I'm still not sure she believes me.

Ask her to develop a CPM schedule.  Cost-loaded for bonus points.

1 hour ago, huge said:

I think that the G man was conflating fritos and cargos.

Remember, this is a guy that says suit pants with belt loops are only for the unwashed masses.

I haven’t worn a suit since 1991.

1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

That does it. I’m gonna make a veggie straw pie and see how that goes. 

Mrs. Brat makes vegan enchiladas for the hippie branch of the family.

1 hour ago, G650 said:

I'd wager the correlation between Fritos eaters and cargo shorts is much higher than Fritos eaters who don't wear cargos.

That’s kinda how that works

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.