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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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I’m eating small pieces of bread now to reduce carb intake. When I put them in the toaster, I can’t get them out because they are too small. I have to turn over the toaster every time, releasing crumbs all over the countertop. I can’t live this way. I won’t live this way.

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"Why don't we take this conversation off-line?"  

We are off-line you fucking asshole.  When you're in person, face-to-face with people...that's off-line.  That's the fucking term.  That's why we have it.  Every fucking business meeting is another continuation of Kenny Bania telling Jerry after the soup, they should go out for dinner.  This is it Bania, the soup is the meal!  This is the fucking off-line meeting.  Take your fucked up head, chance into your vineyard vines outfit, get into your Tahoe, grab your sticks, go play a round at your club, head home to your shitty family, and leave us the fuck alone.  Some of us don't live to listen to your drivel.  

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50 minutes ago, Loco said:

Having to take a piss when you are out and wearing flip flops....

It's not great, but it really sucks when you're wearing flip-flops and the guys pissing on either side of you are wearing flip-flops.  And everyone has been hoisting a few beers.  And you're in a Malaysian holding cell.  

Edited by Lobo
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Radio commentators who don't mention the score. I just got in the car and dude talked and talked and talked coming back from break without mentioning the score.

Any TV sports broadcast that does not continuously display the score and situation on the screen when not at commercial. That includes camera angles showing booth discussions between three guys I don’t give a shit about.

I should be able to glance at the screen and know what’s happening.
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18 minutes ago, GottaB said:


Any TV sports broadcast that does not continuously display the score and situation on the screen when not at commercial. That includes camera angles showing booth discussions between three guys I don’t give a shit about.

I should be able to glance at the screen and know what’s happening.

ABC has started using a florescent yellow graphic in the lower right corner to promote their upcoming shows. Fuck me if I didn't think it was a "flag" thrown on the play about a dozen times this weekend.

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1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

ABC has started using a florescent yellow graphic in the lower right corner to promote their upcoming shows. Fuck me if I didn't think it was a "flag" thrown on the play about a dozen times this weekend.

Same.

ESPN did similar last night and removed it after half time. 

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7 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

ABC has started using a florescent yellow graphic in the lower right corner to promote their upcoming shows. Fuck me if I didn't think it was a "flag" thrown on the play about a dozen times this weekend.

The "Breaking News" thing that pops up on the crawl is yellow too, I thought there was a flag but instead, it was "Antonio Brown released & signed w/Patriots". WTF, use red & white or something.

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1 hour ago, elfenix said:

there's a spot on my commute home where the speed limit increases from 35 to 50.  no one seems to notice.  most motherfuckers don't start going 50 until the next sign a half mile on down. 

I used to be the one trying to bump draft the slow people to speed up. Now I just say screw it and slowly speed up and then cruise just below the speed limit. I enjoy getting people's pressure up. If it causes you to be late. Leave earlier the next itme. Also get off my lawn.

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36 minutes ago, Stormandy said:

I used to be the one trying to bump draft the slow people to speed up. Now I just say screw it and slowly speed up and then cruise just below the speed limit. I enjoy getting people's pressure up. If it causes you to be late. Leave earlier the next itme. Also get off my lawn.

I hate you

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50 minutes ago, Jersey Man10 said:

When I'm inputting a code to redeem a movie or some shit and I can't tell if it's an 0 or an O.

Holy shit, that is really starting to drive my crazy.  Seemed like for years they'd use the slash through the 0 to make it easier to decipher from the letter "O."

Also, what the fuck with people saying "Oh" when reciting numbers.  O is a letter, the word you're looking for is "Zero."  

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6 hours ago, Stormandy said:

I used to be the one trying to bump draft the slow people to speed up. Now I just say screw it and slowly speed up and then cruise just below the speed limit. I enjoy getting people's pressure up. If it causes you to be late. Leave earlier the next itme. Also get off my lawn.

Jeebus you're quite the fuckstick.

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8 hours ago, Stormandy said:

I used to be the one trying to bump draft the slow people to speed up. Now I just say screw it and slowly speed up and then cruise just below the speed limit. I enjoy getting people's pressure up. If it causes you to be late. Leave earlier the next itme. Also get off my lawn.

Seriously, go fuck yourself, cunt. 

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7 hours ago, justhookit said:

8675309 would like a word with you

Well to be fair to the great Tommy Tutone,  had they used the poly-syllabic "Ze-Ro", it wouldn't have worked with that melody.  They had to just go with "Oh"   

Also, Tommy Tutone joins the likes of Jethro Tull, Langhorne Slim, and many others who are often confused as the name of somebody in the band.  But that mixup worked well for Fleetwood Mac, which really were people in the band.  But the Bee-Gees naming makes me surly. 

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4 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Well to be fair to the great Tommy Tutone,  had they used the poly-syllabic "Ze-Ro", it wouldn't have worked with that melody.  They had to just go with "Oh"   

Also, Tommy Tutone joins the likes of Jethro Tull, Langhorne Slim, and many others who are often confused as the name of somebody in the band.  But that mixup worked well for Fleetwood Mac, which really were people in the band.  But the Bee-Gees naming makes me surly. 

6C7013588-tdy-130204-ent-clavin.fit-760w

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