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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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5 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

First day of school pics. . Fuck yo kids!

First day of school drivers. Holy fuck, shove a rusty cactus up your ass motherfuckers. It's like everyone just forgot they had to have kids at school and they're all flying around in a panic. It's like Jade is everyone's mother. "First day of school? Oh shit, I forgot!"

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Why the fuck is everyone on a Mr Rogers kick lately?
 
Half the shit he espoused would trigger the living fuck out of the mamby pambies touting his wisdom as of late.
Yeah. I was born in 66 so that's prime Rogers territory, and I thought that dude was gay as shit as a small child. Never understood the appeal.
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3 minutes ago, DaysOff said:
2 hours ago, Iceman said:
Why the fuck is everyone on a Mr Rogers kick lately?
 
Half the shit he espoused would trigger the living fuck out of the mamby pambies touting his wisdom as of late.

Yeah. I was born in 66 so that's prime Rogers territory, and I thought that dude was gay as shit as a small child. Never understood the appeal.

I'd be fascinated to see a psychological profile of you.

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17 hours ago, DaysOff said:
19 hours ago, Iceman said:
Why the fuck is everyone on a Mr Rogers kick lately?
 
Half the shit he espoused would trigger the living fuck out of the mamby pambies touting his wisdom as of late.

Yeah. I was born in 66 so that's prime Rogers territory, and I thought that dude was gay as shit as a small child. Never understood the appeal.

66 kid here too. Loved Mr. Rogers & his show. But not as much as Sesame Street.

 

No homo.

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10 minutes ago, HouTex said:


62 here and it was the same in my town. I couldn't stand Mr Roger's, sesame street, or Capt. Kangaroo.

You can say what you like about those first 2 , but we're gone have words on the Capt'n !!!!!  : )

I think some of my earliest recollections are sitting there with my cousins watching bunny rabbit, the Capt'n and Mr. Greenjeans every day eating Frosted Flakes.... 

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When you get in an Uber a mile south of the River and he knows you’re going to 2nd & Congress.  Then says his phone is acting up and starts driving.  You’re busy on your phone expecting him to drive downtown.   You look and he’s got you guys almost down to southwest parkway.   Now we are headed back downtown, I’m 20mts late because there was an accident and he’s cut off two drivers pretty seriously.  I got a 4.98 to protect but this guy can’t gave five stars.  

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Sonsabitches who think that maybe you’ll be granted permanent Canadian residency if you just camp out in a bathroom stall at YYZ. I wait damned near 10 mins. I can hear a guy in the handicap stall walking around and doing stuff. He finally vacates. I go in...to find the floor flooded and all the TP gone. So I have to bail...and continue to wait on any of the other three stalls, where I am convinced the occupants are busy constructing a nice 2br 1ba cottage. A while later, one emerges. At least he hadn’t taken a goddamn bath all over the floor, and there was TP. Fucking a.

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13 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Sonsabitches who think that maybe you’ll be granted permanent Canadian residency if you just camp out in a bathroom stall at YYZ. I wait damned near 10 mins. I can hear a guy in the handicap stall walking around and doing stuff. He finally vacates. I go in...to find the floor flooded and all the TP gone. So I have to bail...and continue to wait on any of the other three stalls, where I am convinced the occupants are busy constructing a nice 2br 1ba cottage. A while later, one emerges. At least he hadn’t taken a goddamn bath all over the floor, and there was TP. Fucking a.

sonsabitches who reply to everything with a video.

 

related, but the opposite:  I get excessive pleasure when I enter the men's room and the lights come on automatically.  usually  means I can breath like a normal person, immediately.  once in a blue moon, though, there's a camper in there, like your friend.

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1 hour ago, Paco said:

I'm 1300 miles from the nearest Whataburger so I went to Five Guys for a quick burger. What's with the fries? Who the fuck needs nine pounds of undercooked french fries?

They serve limp, soggy fries but they give you a shitload of them. My experience has been that they're brown and overcooked. And still limp and soggy. And their burgers suck. And they only had mustard in packets. 

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3 hours ago, wd40 said:

I get excessive pleasure when I enter the men's room and the lights come on automatically.  usually  means I can breath like a normal person, immediately.  once in a blue moon, though, there's a camper in there, like your friend.

I've camped long enough for the lights to automatically shut off on me a few times...

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For those of you with any kind of intraoffice instant messaging...

When people message you as follows.

 

Them: Good afternoon.

Me: Hey.

Them: How are you?

 

Look, dude, I know you need something. Get to the fucking point. It's messenger, we don't need to small talk. Just ask me whatever you need to ask me. 

 

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2 hours ago, TornACL said:

For those of you with any kind of intraoffice instant messaging...

When people message you as follows.

 

Them: Good afternoon.

Me: Hey.

Them: How are you?

 

Look, dude, I know you need something. Get to the fucking point. It's messenger, we don't need to small talk. Just ask me whatever you need to ask me. 

 

When a superior who rarely compliments anything starts out the conversation telling you how great something very obscure/ trivial you did was for the team.

 

Get to the point motherfucker.  What’s your ask?

 

I always want to ask them if they just read a book on influencing others...  “follow that script, you insincere jackass”

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11 hours ago, Iceman said:

When a superior who rarely compliments anything starts out the conversation telling you how great something very obscure/ trivial you did was for the team.

 

Get to the point motherfucker.  What’s your ask?

 

I always want to ask them if they just read a book on influencing others...  “follow that script, you insincere jackass”

What's your ask? Hahahaha... holy fuck.

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15 minutes ago, Iceman said:

well, you know it's a shit sandwich.  Just get to the fucking point...

Maybe, just maybe, it's their way of punishing you because in the words of Dr. Lexus "uh, you talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded". :) 

Just messin' with ya. 

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16 hours ago, TornACL said:

For those of you with any kind of intraoffice instant messaging...

When people message you as follows.

 

Them: Good afternoon.

Me: Hey.

Them: How are you?

 

Look, dude, I know you need something. Get to the fucking point. It's messenger, we don't need to small talk. Just ask me whatever you need to ask me. 

 

I had a coworker who would do this.  

He would walk by my office on this way to his office in the morning.  Not say a word.  10 minutes later -

*ding*

"Good morning, JS1."

Image result for office rage gif

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