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22% of men (incl. Kevin) don't realize that a chimp would fucking wreck them


Prepuce of Doom

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I suppose that "medium sized dog" can mean a lot of things, but each data point above that on this graphic suggests that we are a very dumb species overall. 

I would pay a lot of money to watch overconfident morons get taken apart by chimps. Would probably eventually solve a lot of our nation's problems in the process, too. 

Link to full article: https://today.yougov.com/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2021/05/13/lions-and-tigers-and-bears-what-animal-would-win-f

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
Which thread will win in a fight?
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3 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

that kangaroo could cave in that guy's rib cage with a kick from those hind legs. You wouldn't happen to have the rest of that gif would you?

 

 

The only reason that dude's entrails aren't hanging off a nearby tree is that the kangaroo showed him mercy. 

 

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33 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

that kangaroo could cave in that guy's rib cage with a kick from those hind legs. You wouldn't happen to have the rest of that gif would you?

 

 

the guy doesn't get hurt.  after the punch he just walks off and the roo doesn't do anything.

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4 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Kumite - fight until death or deconstruction. 

But a chimp could de-limb you without using its teeth. 

i dont know... i just read that chimps on average are about 1.5x as strong as an average man. im feeling like im a little stronger than average plus with my wits, fighting style, and all around good hygiene, i might stand a chance!

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1 minute ago, Sbbruin said:

The fact that there is anyone who thinks they could take on a grizzly, lion elephant or alligator is comedy.

people wrestle alligators so that's not as unbelievable.  an elephant though??

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28 minutes ago, Longhorn94 said:

i dont know... i just read that chimps on average are about 1.5x as strong as an average man. im feeling like im a little stronger than average plus with my wits, fighting style, and all around good hygiene, i might stand a chance!

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When Larry Allen played for the Cowboys a favorite topic of conversation on the Ticket was could he beat a chimpanzee in a fight.  Most hosts leaned to no.
I'd say if confidence is low in a man this size then confidence for all men should be low

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Guest Lobo

It would also depend on how the fight is considered "over."  Obviously if one party is dead, that's a clear victory.  I would be horribly maimed by most of those, but probably still alive. 

Many people seemed confident about the Eagle and I don't know the percent is that high.  They're much larger up close than most people realize......but yeah a grown man can easily wrestle the body down while being pummeled by the wings.  But the hard part about the eagle to me are the talons and the beak.  I count two talons (each with four 'stabby things') and one beak.  And I've only got two hands.  During the wrestling, One of those three weapons is gonna make its way to my head and do some serious damage.  

I get the feeling the simulation is pushing out these polls as part of "Phase 2" 

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3 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I suppose that "medium sized dog" can mean a lot of things, but each data point above that on this graphic suggests that we are a very dumb species overall. 

I would pay a lot of money to watch overconfident morons get taken apart by chimps. Would probably eventually solve a lot of our nation's problems in the process, too. 

Link to full article: https://today.yougov.com/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2021/05/13/lions-and-tigers-and-bears-what-animal-would-win-f

Only 76% say they could take a rat?  WTF?

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2 hours ago, Longhorn94 said:

i dont know... i just read that chimps on average are about 1.5x as strong as an average man. im feeling like im a little stronger than average plus with my wits, fighting style, and all around good hygiene, i might stand a chance!

I'd just use my chain belt karate quart of blood move on him.

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16 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

the swans at the local beach always gives my puppy the hiss and the evil eyes.  if those motherfuckers want to get rowdy i wouldnt hesitate to stomp their ass to the ground

My grandfather retired to the mountains of North Carolina and had a small lake in his backyard. He fed generations of trumpeter swans for 20+ years until one especially protective/aggressive male swan kicked his ass for no apparent reason. 

My grandfather was in his late 80s (maybe even early 90s?) at the time, but he was as healthy and fit as anyone could be at that age. Buster the Swan just wailed on him with its wings and left an entire side of his body badly bruised from his ankle up past his hips and almost to his belly button. 

He came really close to shooting it but ultimately opted to just stop feeding them instead. 

Still, I think that any long-necked bird would be pretty easy to eventually dispatch by anyone with opposable thumbs. 

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  • Prepuce of Doom changed the title to 22% of men (incl. Kevin) don't realize that a chimp would fucking wreck them

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