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Official 2022 Bitch about Family - Holiday Insanity


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Thanksgiving #1 went well. We did all of it except niece brought sweet potato pie and green bean casserole. Sweet potato dish was best I’ve ever had, she knocked it out of the park. MIL was on best behavior. They left at 4:15 to get home in the light. Niece and her husband and 3 YO stayed until 8. Visited, caught up, talked. Kids enjoyed hanging out. Good time. 
tomorrow at my mom and dads with my brother and all his kids. (Mom and dad live at the end of our driveway literally 30 feet away from our garage door. Get to do it all over again. Brother is doing one Turkey in the oven and 1 in the fryer. Will have a slightly different menu/take on some If the dishes. 

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46 minutes ago, cactusflinthead said:

Holy crap AB. Hope she is feeling better and you too.

My uncle brought some gummies. He gave my mom one and swore me to secrecy. He has also taken to wearing krocs exclusively. So it's a split decision on brain function.

I got a coconut chess pie for bday so I got that going for me.

Like we should take fashion critiques from someone who can’t spell Crocs. 

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On 11/23/2022 at 7:50 AM, Armybrat said:

Looks like I’ll be the spoiler this holiday….. Have bad stomach cramps off & on plus the shits this morning. 
Made six trips to the toilet so far, and even let loose while taking a shower a little while ago. Am trying to hydrate with Gatorade Zero, but am totally exhausted. Need to sleep.

G zero isn’t that great for rehydration.  I have been suffering from dehydration for a few months.  They have a Gatorlyte version that is like Pedialyte.  Much better.  Your hydration is critical, especially at your age (respek)

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I made it a minute through that video.

Fuck trying to reason with a dumbass.

"Hey Junior...you don't like it here?  Go be happy.  Now..."

 

People who thrive on manipulation and attention...well, they gonna soak all this shit up at the dinner table.  Fuck giving them that stage.

 

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6 minutes ago, slorch said:

I made it a minute through that video.

Fuck trying to reason with a dumbass.

"Hey Junior...you don't like it here?  Go be happy.  Now..."

 

People who thrive on manipulation and attention...well, they gonna soak all this shit up at the dinner table.  Fuck giving them that stage.

 

Like father like son,

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My family fees along pretty well, but as we get more and more grandkids, one pattern is beginning to develop. Every story about close scares or parenting lessons learned the hard way is constructed so that I was the less competent or concerned parent. Even stories that only involved me and the kids are retold so that my wife/mother/insert female family member was in shock when they discovered what had happened. It’s like I starred as the bumbling white dad in every tv commercial. 

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1 hour ago, Sbbruin said:

G zero isn’t that great for rehydration.  I have been suffering from dehydration for a few months.  They have a Gatorlyte version that is like Pedialyte.  Much better.  Your hydration is critical, especially at your age (respek)

goes good with Vodka though.

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1 hour ago, Reagan1k said:

This is cool.  My aunt is pouting and borderline refusing to let an uncle plug in his Tesla.  Her rationale is that she’s never been reimbursed for gas when he hosts Tday, so why should her utilities “go through the roof” so that he can plug in on her dime. 

If this’ll go ahead and go nuclear, maybe we can leave and never do it again!!! 

Please please please let said uncle casually pull a twenty out of his wallet and flick it at said aunt

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Conversation drifted. Homeless in Austin, get them help. Grandmother announces that they are now all walking around with machetes.  I remain silent. Somehow veers to guy that broke into pelosi home. Mother tells the table declaratively that pelosi liked men and women and let this guy in.  I challenge, stating that isn’t true. She gave the well that’s the last i heard about it, and something funny must be going on because why was the alarm system turned off! I told her it was a lie perpetuating Fox News. Well I heard it on the radio.  That led to a discussion of why do they let them say things that aren’t true?  
wanted to tell her to use her brain, and the reason she didn’t hear anymore about that was because they stopped pushing it was proven false, but she doesn’t get her information from varied sources. 
 

Anyway food was good, and the table is about half and half so I want alone in my views/the facts. 
 

ps my mother has an alarm system that she never turns on. 
 

and the machete thing is news to me. 

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17 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Had a scare late this afternoon. After 2 days of prepping nonstop for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow
(And I was sick all morning until mid afternoon, so I didn’t help much with the cleanup as usual), at 5pm Mrs.Brat sat at the breakfast table in what I thought was a catatonic state.
She was mostly unresponsive and just staring. Took her BP and it was high (155/89), her forehead was cold & sweaty. She just sat there for a half hour, then I helped her move to the couch. I thought she might be having a stroke.
Called son to bring something over to eat and to check her out. He & his wife could see something was wrong, so He called 911 and explained to the dispatcher the situation.
First the Sam Bass FD firefighter EMTs showed up followed by the County paramedics.
They checked her over very carefully and noted her blood sugar was low (unusual for her) but all other vital signs were ok except her BP was 196/97.
After having some apple juice & chocolate shake, she began to recover.

They asked if she wanted to be transported to the hospital and of course she declined.
She ate a couple of DQ tacos son had brought and seems almost back to normal.
But son said they were going to do everything tomorrow so she can just sit & watch.

 

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I hope she is OK. I know some of those guys.  

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Big win here.  My wife and I came down to spend the holiday with my Mom and Dad.  It was just going to be five of us for dinner, so I told them that we are ordering the pre-made meal from H‑E‑B.  
 

Mom was concerned about the cost.   Dad hemmed and hawed abut about not having our traditional family dishes.  No one’s complaining now that the oven didn’t even get turned on until 9:30 AM, and it’s now 2 pm and we have already eaten and the kitchen is cleaned.  

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Mr Burns excellent gif goes here. This is always the sweet spot of when shit starts going down.

Drive to Kerrville wasn't bad except for some hellacious spots of dense fog on 71 and 281. And it's starting to rain here again just as I'm tending the coals of the weber half in the garage. MIL had trex decking installed on the covered patio so she won't allow any charcoal grilling due to her reasons even though we gave her a grill matt.

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1 hour ago, OrangEngr said:

Please please please let said uncle casually pull a twenty out of his wallet and flick it at said aunt

Pretty good call-  came close.

Descended into an airing of grievances (decades old) that my saint of a cousin arbitrated. Uncle is entitled / privileged per aunt.    Aunt is poor-mouthing miser pretending to be “of the people” per Uncle.

Neither are wrong.  It sure as shit ain’t really about the money.

 

 

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3 hours ago, pearlandhorn said:

SIL and BIL…Jesus…they’re 40 years old and brought literally ALL of their clothes to wash because they live in a house with no running water. Remember the big freeze we had over a year and a half ago? They haven’t fixed their pipes. They “shower” outside with a garden hose.

We all went (my wife, FIL, my son, and I) went to do a turkey trot this AM.

BIL was still in bed when we left (left at 8:30), called at 9:30 while we were running the fucking race and told my SIL to stop at the grocery store and get him some ice cream because he doesn’t like the stuff my in laws have. Also told her that he needs cherry coke to mix his drinks with. When I got here at 11, he was already passed out and drinking. 
 

Oh, he had the keys to a car but is too fucking lazy to drive 5 minutes to the damn gas station.

Turkey on the pit. My parents should be here in a  couple hours.

 

Dinner done. BIL gorged himself and disappeared to go sleep.

My wife, MIL, FIL and I cleaned up for 11 people.

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22 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

Feel free to post drunken relatives (or surlyites) antics should they occur.  Usually a crowd pleaser.

Crazy SIL (one who isn’t here until Christmas) called just so she could bitch about having to work at her CBD shop in a strip mall in BFN Georgia on thanksgiving because all of her help quit. I chortled.

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5 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Conversation drifted. Homeless in Austin, get them help. Grandmother announces that they are now all walking around with machetes.  I remain silent. Somehow veers to guy that broke into pelosi home. Mother tells the table declaratively that pelosi liked men and women and let this guy in.  I challenge, stating that isn’t true. She gave the well that’s the last i heard about it, and something funny must be going on because why was the alarm system turned off! I told her it was a lie perpetuating Fox News. Well I heard it on the radio.  That led to a discussion of why do they let them say things that aren’t true?  
wanted to tell her to use her brain, and the reason she didn’t hear anymore about that was because they stopped pushing it was proven false, but she doesn’t get her information from varied sources. 
 

Anyway food was good, and the table is about half and half so I want alone in my views/the facts. 
 

ps my mother has an alarm system that she never turns on. 
 

and the machete thing is news to me. 

Dammit son, respect thy mother and thy father...

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6 hours ago, pearlandhorn said:

SIL and BIL…Jesus…they’re 40 years old and brought literally ALL of their clothes to wash because they live in a house with no running water. Remember the big freeze we had over a year and a half ago? They haven’t fixed their pipes. They “shower” outside with a garden hose.

We all went (my wife, FIL, my son, and I) went to do a turkey trot this AM.

BIL was still in bed when we left (left at 8:30), called at 9:30 while we were running the fucking race and told my SIL to stop at the grocery store and get him some ice cream because he doesn’t like the stuff my in laws have. Also told her that he needs cherry coke to mix his drinks with. When I got here at 11, he was already passed out and drinking. 
 

Oh, he had the keys to a car but is too fucking lazy to drive 5 minutes to the damn gas station.

Turkey on the pit. My parents should be here in a  couple hours.

 

Holly shit....

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Pretty tame this year. Uncle on my mom's side and his wife of two years after his first wife died in 2019. After the festivities, they (both in their early 70s are sitting on the couch and she pops her feet in his lap for foot rub. He obliges and she moans loudly for several long minutes. It was weird. Not sure if I'm the only one who noticed.

Overall, she's cool though. She brought a bucket of popcorn for my kids and a toy for my dogs. Then she got down in the floor to play with our bigger dog.

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