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Official 2022 Bitch about Family - Holiday Insanity


tx 3 putt

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1 hour ago, 4th&Five said:

My wife got a text from her mom this morning that said they won't be buying presents this year and will just take us out for dinner when they visit in January.  All good with me and I'll find an excuse to skip dinner but who doesn't buy gifts for their grandkids?

Man, I'd love it if my kid's grandparents said they wouldn't be getting him gifts. Throw some money in the 529 if you want to, Grandma. Better that than some thing that the kid won't even remember he got in two weeks.

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18 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

We were scheduled to fly to London to see the boy for Thanksgiving, but I've got too many health issues going on to pull it off, so he's flying home.  Seeing him was the most important part, so we still got that.  Plus he flies in the night before UCLA/sc at the Rose Bowl, so that'll be an awesome way to kick off T-giving week.  

Are you guys going to the game?  

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2 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

We were scheduled to fly to London to see the boy for Thanksgiving, but I've got too many health issues going on to pull it off, so he's flying home.  Seeing him was the most important part, so we still got that.  Plus he flies in the night before UCLA/sc at the Rose Bowl, so that'll be an awesome way to kick off T-giving week.  

 

you are not doing this thread correctly.

 

 

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8 hours ago, 4th&Five said:

My wife got a text from her mom this morning that said they won't be buying presents this year and will just take us out for dinner when they visit in January.  All good with me and I'll find an excuse to skip dinner but who doesn't buy gifts for their grandkids?

My FIL hasn't spoken to or given a gift to either of his grand kids in over 10 years.  Last time we were in the area at Christmas (2016), he decided he didn't want to fight 30 minutes of traffic to come see them.  He lives in Lebanon, TN; we were in Clarksville, TN.  We had driven 12 hours to get there.

Wife, 2 boys, and I are going to a cabin for Thanksgiving.  Other than my wife's sister, I'll miss everyone else.  I'm lucky that my parents and brothers are cool.

Edited by Knoxtnhorn
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6 hours ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

Man, I'd love it if my kid's grandparents said they wouldn't be getting him gifts. Throw some money in the 529 if you want to, Grandma. Better that than some thing that the kid won't even remember he got in two weeks.

That would be great. They offered a shitty dinner. They’re massive assholes and terrible people so everything they do I see in a negative light. 

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Things will get really interesting if my aunt Donna shows up for Thanksgiving. 

Not looking forward to my brother's idiot bitch half sister showing up though. She's a worthless piece of shit and and new bf is just as worthless. I don't even know the guy's name. My brother and I have given up on her when it comes to relationships and don't even bother to learn her bf's names anymore since she changes guys like she does clothes. 

Thanksgiving at my godfather's house will probably consist of everyone yelling at the tv during the Cowboys game and arguing about which players throughout history are the GOATs. At least we also have soccer on that day so there's that to look forward to. 

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6 minutes ago, Longboard Horn said:

arguing about which players throughout history are the GOATs. At least we also have soccer on that day so there's that to look forward to. 

“Too-Tall Jones, Jim Jeffcoat, and Walt Garrison. Now that that’s settled, pass the potatoes please.”

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My son in law told me that two of his uncles pulled machetes on each other in a drunken, doublewide, Thanksgiving dinner argument. One of them accused his brother of hitting on his girlfriend. Both had just gotten out of prison and I guess they figured it was the best way to settle it. No limbs were detached. 

Edited by Crapinon
doublewide sets the story
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7 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

I am 100% estranged from my biological family. I am just too old for their bullshit,and I don't have the patience to deny how terrible they are any longer.

I'll be house/dog sitting at a giant house with heated pool all Thanksgiving week.

I'll be watching world cup, drinking, and eating in absolute peace.

If someone would like a neutral observer at their Thanksgiving dinner I am down for that.

spacer.png

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20 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

My FIL hasn't spoken to or given a gift to either of his grand kids in over 10 years.  Last time we were in the area at Christmas (2016), he decided he didn't want to fight 30 minutes of traffic to come see them.  He lives in Lebanon, TN; we were in Clarksville, TN.  We had driven 12 hours to get there.

Wife, 2 boys, and I are going to a cabin for Thanksgiving.  Other than my wife's sister, I'll miss everyone else.  I'm lucky that my parents and brothers are cool.

You're god damn right.

 

 

Edited by Jameslaw121
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Looks like sister didn't backslide to the loser boyfriend she brought over last year. They broke up around the 4th of July and she apologize profusely to all family members for letting such an asshole dominate her life for 15 months. She's taking her personal therapy seriously this time, which means she posts a minimum of 6 "inspirational" memes on social media every day. 

We'll be traveling for Thanksgiving for the first time in over a decade. Just a quick, 2 night stay at the MIL's in Kerrville. She's not a big fan of turkey and doesn't want a fridge full of leftovers for weeks so we're gonna go the non traditional route for the feast. Chicken enchiladas one night, and probably steak and lobster for the feast. Also going to make sure I stock her garage fridge with plenty of good beer this time for future visits this winter (but not over xmas...that ain't happening).

 

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15 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Shark Tank Writing GIF

Come on over man. Just me and the dogs. The place is enormous with 2 bedrooms upstairs and the master downstairs. 

Wish the tv was bigger but whattya gonna do.

We can pick up some foxes down town.

 

Wild_and_crazy_guys.jpg

Edited by MissingInAction
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Come on over man. Just me and the dogs. The place is enormous with 2 bedrooms upstairs and the master downstairs. 
Wish the tv was bigger but whattya gonna do.
We can pick up some foxes down town.
This should be live streamed. No matter what y'all do even if it's just farming in your underwear while drinking eerily and playing with the dog it will be better than 99% of the other Thanksgiving get-togethers.
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8 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:
13 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:
Come on over man. Just me and the dogs. The place is enormous with 2 bedrooms upstairs and the master downstairs. 
Wish the tv was bigger but whattya gonna do.
We can pick up some foxes down town.

This should be live streamed. No matter what y'all do even if it's just farming in your underwear while drinking eerily and playing with the dog it will be better than 99% of the other Thanksgiving get-togethers.

I won't be hanging out with any surlyites in my underware.

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A mix of good and bad this year. 

My wife will begin working a 7-day stretch (of 13-15 hour shifts) on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Her family can’t understand why she can‘t take off (“but…it’s a holiday!”), but at least we’re spared a crazy Pentecostal Thanksgiving gathering.
 

I would normally do 90% of the cooking amyway, so I feel like the week will be a huge reprieve  

My Dad lives in a local retirement home, and he doesn’t really care what we do except hang out. I’m gonna buy a few pies, make Tamale Dressing and Gravy and throw a few Fried Eggs on top, drink heavily, and watch football. 

We will spend 11/29 thru 12/5 in New Orleans, so…I’m clearly not doing this thread right. I’m sure Christmas fuckery will more than make up for my awesome holiday beginnings, though. 

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4 hours ago, RiverwalkMiner said:

Just in time for the holidays, my girlfriend of 4 years asked me to move out. I'm a only child, with a only child  and my mom is the only one still alive on either side. No insanity when you only have 2 blood relatives left on earth. 🥂

The kid will be home from UT, but has to split time between me and her mom. 

Here's a preview of my upcoming holidays. 😂

 

Will Ferrell Movie GIF by filmeditor 

We presume her pics are in NSAA?

 

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13 hours ago, Longboard Horn said:

It's that time of year again for a classic favorite Xmas tale.

For your entertainment, I copied from a previous Holiday board - 

ORIGINALLY POSTED by WIDE-E-WIDE Dec 2006

Its been 16 years, but damn its still funny.

 

After much deliberation, I will reluctantly tell the story of my family touring the Christmas lights in Waco last week.

My wife told me about this thing at the beginning of December. To be honest I had forgotten all about it until the night before. I did not want to go. Call me a scrooge but riding around looking at electricity captured in colored bulbs is not my idea of entertainment. However, the kids were looking forward to it and apparently at some point I had agreed to do it.

This little tour got us for 6 bucks a head. My wife, her parents, our 4 kids and I all went. Now I wasn’t a math major but that's $48 to ride around in a trolley and look at lights. WTF? (I found this out the day of)

So we drive all the way the hell to downtown Waco and sit and wait for this trolley to take us on the tour. They’ve got a tree, Santa, hot cocoa- All that shit. Finally all the trolleys roll up and Shaquandra our official Christmas lights tour guide hops out and says “Y’all going to look at the lights?....(pause) Okay den let’s get our roll on!”  

My initial gripe is that the bitch is driving at mach speed and you can’t see shit but a blurry-ass Santa and the occasional Wal-Mart $9.99 wire light-up reindeer. My father-in-law asks if she could slow down a bit so that we could take pictures and appreciate the lights a little more..(his words not mine). By this time I’ve already leaned over and whispered in my wife’s ear “$48 for this shit?”  She gives me the obligatory elbow and “stop being like that”

We roll along for about 15 minutes looking at every tacky piece of shit overkill light extravaganza in East Waco. Suddenly we get on the highway and start heading to the other side of town. We ride for a good 12-15 minutes without seeing a single damn house decorated. So I lean over to the wife again and say “umm where the hell are we going?”
Elbow “shut up” and all that again. Shaquandra has Mariah Carey’s Christmas cd blasting and we just getting our roll on...and then it happened.

Signs and streets started to look really familiar. My oldest daughter says “hey there’s HEB.” As in the HEB right down the road from our house (approx. 1/2 mile)
I lean over to the wife again “This bitch better not turn right at this light!”
What does the driver do????? That’s right folks, fucking turns right and heads right to our neighborhood. Not only our neighborhood “BUT OUR FUCKING STREET!!

I am just at a loss for words by this point. I cannot believe this is happening. Street after street, house after house for a good 30 minutes. The driver is going on and on about “oooh like over thurr- look at the Santa up on the roof kids.” I know bitch “I'M THE ONE THAT FUCKING PUT HIS FAT ASS UP THERE LAST WEEK"

I can’t type this anymore it's just too painful. The point is, we spent almost $50 to look at the Christmas lights in our own damn neighborhood. My wife just hung her head in shame. I’ll be in charge of Christmas spirit next year thank you very much.

I love reading this every year. Each time I wonder why he didn't jump off at his house drink a few beers and wait for his family to get home.

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On 11/8/2022 at 6:01 PM, GhostOfTomJoad said:
On 11/8/2022 at 5:57 PM, MissingInAction said:
Come on over man. Just me and the dogs. The place is enormous with 2 bedrooms upstairs and the master downstairs. 
Wish the tv was bigger but whattya gonna do.
We can pick up some foxes down town.

This should be live streamed. No matter what y'all do even if it's just farming in your underwear while drinking eerily and playing with the dog it will be better than 99% of the other Thanksgiving get-togethers.

Kind of like the BEVO cam on LHN over the holidays but more drunk.

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On 11/7/2022 at 1:04 PM, Js1 said:

I cant think of a better Thanksgiving for this year after last year's awkward fest of having it at mom's new boyfriend's house 6 months after her husband died

  • Sister, her boyfriend and 2 nephews going to SA bc boyfriend's grandma is up there in age and doesn't have much left
  • Mom and new boyfriend (soon to be husband lol) going to Philly to see his parents/kids
  • Me, flying to Paris on Thanksgiving Day

Cant wait to catch up on the Surly family drama and not be part of it! 

This is NOT how you do this thread.

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On 10/13/2022 at 4:21 PM, tx 3 putt said:

 

my brother's in laws eat at 10:30, that's insane 

No I'll tell you insane. 10 years ago one of my brothers was having Thanksgiving lunch at his girlfriend's place. My family usually has lunch as well. Around noon he calls and asks if we've eaten yet. I tell him that we're about to sit down to lunch. Then I ask him what about lunch with his girl. He tells me that they had already eaten and that he's on his way back over to mom's house. When he gets home, he tells me that she wanted to eat early and was headed over to Kohl's to wait for their 8pm madness sale. Yes, she really was going to sit outside the store for 8 hours waiting for it to open just so she could be first in line. WTF do you REALLY need from Kohl's? 

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This will be the first holiday season since both of my kids have moved out. So of course, my dad and sister are asking me about their availability for such-and-such day. I just say I don't know. Why can't they text or call these adults?? That's a trick question: they know that if my kids aren't interested, they will forget to reply. They aren't bad kids, they're just 21 year olds who would rather do their own thing, I get it. But I am expected to play the telephone game and get info from one person and relay it to another. Fucking hell.

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