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Shart 2024: What's that spot on the bathroom floor?


Prepuce of Doom

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Steel Shank said:

Had a late December mini-shart, but I'm looking to regroup and come out stronger and more confident of myself as I tackle 2024 head-on!!

We just have to go out there and execute and take one week at a time and be the best we can be from one moment to the next. If we take care of that we'll be fine. No unforced errors and can't beat ourselves. We're very confident right now. -- very deliberate each step. We'll see how it all shakes out in the end. 

Edited by Chooky
Get me a towel, please
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21 hours ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

Sharting...hmmm would this be considered the same thing as "spotting" for a woman?

The shart cares not about your gender. This thread is available to all to lessen (or broaden) the shame caused by an unexpected fecal release, regardless of one’s age, gender, national origin, citizenship status, education, disability, or veteran status.

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Mid-year I was walking 10k every night. I quickly built my route around where free/clean bathrooms were. There were several close calls. Here’s hoping for a clean 24 as I have the nightly walking back on my resolutions.

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28 minutes ago, Fastbreak said:

Mid-year I was walking 10k every night. I quickly built my route around where free/clean bathrooms were. There were several close calls. Here’s hoping for a clean 24 as I have the nightly walking back on my resolutions.

Avatar and nightly activities check out.  Hello, Richard.

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Sigh. Managed to realize it wasn’t a fart building at 4:00 am, so avoided the bed shart. Turns out it was food poisoning (probably a salad I had at lunch). Started blowing mud then…and kept on for 5 hours. Barely slept. At home now, tired and dehydrated, sipping Gatorade. And still far from back to normal.

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32 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Sigh. Managed to realize it wasn’t a fart building at 4:00 am, so avoided the bed shart. Turns out it was food poisoning (probably a salad I had at lunch). Started blowing mud then…and kept on for 5 hours. Barely slept. At home now, tired and dehydrated, sipping Gatorade. And still far from back to normal.

Sorry you're feeling poorly. It's amazing how much fp is caused by salad and other greens. I love to make salad but it's getting to where those oysters your family grilled over the weekend were probably safer.

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Sorry you're feeling poorly. It's amazing how much fp is caused by salad and other greens. I love to make salad but it's getting to where those oysters your family grilled over the weekend were probably safer.

Well, turns out I have a fever too. So it’s probably some sort of Norovirus or something. Even more fun. I just crashed and slept another 2 hours.
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3 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Sigh. Managed to realize it wasn’t a fart building at 4:00 am, so avoided the bed shart. Turns out it was food poisoning (probably a salad I had at lunch). Started blowing mud then…and kept on for 5 hours. Barely slept. At home now, tired and dehydrated, sipping Gatorade. And still far from back to normal.

I'm shocked that you, of all people, ate a salad.

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21 hours ago, Brisketexan said:


Well, turns out I have a fever too. So it’s probably some sort of Norovirus or something. Even more fun. I just crashed and slept another 2 hours.

There’s definitely an outbreak going around. I ate an entire large pizza from Marco’s on Monday night to watch the game, tuesday I was feeling like shit and by that night my asshole was a firehose. Bad headache and fever too, lasted a good 10-12 hours. 

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3 minutes ago, Helobious said:

There’s definitely an outbreak going around. I ate an entire large pizza from Marco’s on Monday night to watch the game, tuesday I was feeling like shit and by that night my asshole was a firehose. Bad headache and fever too, lasted a good 10-12 hours. 

All that pizza probably didn't help your asshole, either! 

*rimshot

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27 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm not sure if this goes in this thread, or the getting old sucks thread, but I encountered my first ever sheeze today.

Almost had a shough yesterday myself. 

But I'll tell you one thing, coughing while you're perched on the throne and backing one out is one of life's great unpleasantries - felt like my entire vascular system was going to explode from all the conflicting pressure. 

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On 1/3/2024 at 4:30 PM, Brisketexan said:


Well, turns out I have a fever too. So it’s probably some sort of Norovirus or something. Even more fun. I just crashed and slept another 2 hours.

Had it over Christmas.  6 very long days.  My advice is to get an IV, I got 2, to stay hydrated.  Also, my asshole just laughed at Imodium, once I started chugging Pepto while alternating Imodium things improved.  I managed to stay clean but was glued to the toilet.  Godspeed.  

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6 hours ago, HeHateMe said:

Had it over Christmas.  6 very long days.  My advice is to get an IV, I got 2, to stay hydrated.  Also, my asshole just laughed at Imodium, once I started chugging Pepto while alternating Imodium things improved.  I managed to stay clean but was glued to the toilet.  Godspeed.  

Guess I got lucky.  Was just a 24 hour-ish thing for me.  Took me longer than it should have to realize it was viral and not food poisoning - as I sat on the sofa, shivering and exhausted, then crawled into bed mid-day to crash for a few hours....I realized "huh....maybe I'm actually sick."  Had a fever then, and that evening.  Long night's sleep, with lots of tossing and turning as the fever broke, then a day of recovery yesterday, and I'm back at it today.  And man, did I pound the gatorade so I could avoid an IV and ER trip.

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On 1/4/2024 at 3:09 PM, Helobious said:

Yeah I think my days of eating entire large pizza’s in one sitting are over. I used to destroy the dominos large 3 topping $7.99 carry out specials in college. My asshole handled that fine 

Yeah, that's when I started to realize I was "maturing". For a person my size, I would eat as much as a person outweighed me by 100lbs. Now I barely put a dent in a full sized meal.

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1 hour ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Yeah, that's when I started to realize I was "maturing". For a person my size, I would eat as much as a person outweighed me by 100lbs. Now I barely put a dent in a full sized meal.

To be fair, you've also undertaken an *extremely* radical weight-loss plan in the meantime! 

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On 1/5/2024 at 7:40 AM, Prepuce of Doom said:

I'm embarking on Day 3 of the shitfest that's going around - currently blasting soup through a hose for the third time this morning. 

But it's a great weight loss plan! 

 

Screenshot_20240105_093556_MyFitnessPal.jpg

Dude, y'all too? Yeah, down about 5 lbs after my Christmas week shits.

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On 1/7/2024 at 9:23 PM, MissingInAction said:

Started taking acid reflux medicine which seems to turn stomach acid into farts. A LOT of farts.

This has introduced a brand new challenge to my butthole discipline.

I think with focuseness that I can turn this into a victory for 2024.

 

NEVER, EVER trust a fart, especially after age 50.

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On 1/7/2024 at 7:23 PM, MissingInAction said:

Started taking acid reflux medicine which seems to turn stomach acid into farts. A LOT of farts.

This has introduced a brand new challenge to my butthole discipline.

I think with focuseness that I can turn this into a victory for 2024.

 

Just assume they’re all farts.  What’s the worst that could happen?

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