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Posted
4 hours ago, MontereyMX said:

i got banned from the winstar valet last weekend.   hits really close to home!  

That poor valet just dropped a ticket. Now he needs theraapy.

  • Haha 1
Posted
1 hour ago, tejas60 said:

Go on. 

lol, ok.  For years valet has been comped do to the wife and her addiction to that shit.   We pull up and most times are greeted by name.  She shows her players card and I give them my cell number since im mostly the driver.   They will immediately send a text to respond to when you are ready for your vehicle.   A few hours later it's time to go.  I respond to text and immediately get automated response that we owe 20 bucks instead of the usual your vehicle will be here in 5 to 10 min.  I go over to the valet ticket counter inside and ask what's going on.  This little motherfucker manning the booth bowed up and said it's always been that way and we will need to pay to get our car.   I responded nope not paying.   He tried to argue and I shut him down pretty quick.  He then ask if I wanted to speak to a supervisor.  I said "absofuckinglutely I do" and walked off to get my wife's players card because I knew they were going to need it eventually.   We come back to the counter and there is a female supervisor.  I ask her what was going on and she said we needed to pay, where is your ticket and players club.   I put them on the counter she grabbed them stamped paid on the ticket and told me that if I ever cuss one of her employees again I was banned.  I told her that I didn't cuss anyone.   Immediately that guy popped around the corner, tears in his eyes, lips shivering and said, "you said absofuckinglutely".  I responded, you ask me a question.   I grabbed my valet ticket looked at him and said you are a pussy.  Last thing I heard was that women yelling "you're banned, you're banned".   Another supervisor brought the car around and told me the same.  lol.   

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Posted
29 minutes ago, Atticus said:

There’s no valor to be gained from shitting on ants. It’s like beating a child


It’s a fun story to tell when drunk though

Adrian Peterson is in the HOUSE!

  • Like 1
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Posted
37 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

I liked the part about the quivering lip and crying out, “You said, ‘Absofuckinglutely!’”  It gave it an extra layer of texture.

He was probably a strong, burly valet attendant, straight out of central casting.  Called him sir!

Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, MontereyMX said:

lol, ok.  For years valet has been comped do to the wife and her addiction to that shit.   We pull up and most times are greeted by name.  She shows her players card and I give them my cell number since im mostly the driver.   They will immediately send a text to respond to when you are ready for your vehicle.   A few hours later it's time to go.  I respond to text and immediately get automated response that we owe 20 bucks instead of the usual your vehicle will be here in 5 to 10 min.  I go over to the valet ticket counter inside and ask what's going on.  This little motherfucker manning the booth bowed up and said it's always been that way and we will need to pay to get our car.   I responded nope not paying.   He tried to argue and I shut him down pretty quick.  He then ask if I wanted to speak to a supervisor.  I said "absofuckinglutely I do" and walked off to get my wife's players card because I knew they were going to need it eventually.   We come back to the counter and there is a female supervisor.  I ask her what was going on and she said we needed to pay, where is your ticket and players club.   I put them on the counter she grabbed them stamped paid on the ticket and told me that if I ever cuss one of her employees again I was banned.  I told her that I didn't cuss anyone.   Immediately that guy popped around the corner, tears in his eyes, lips shivering and said, "you said absofuckinglutely".  I responded, you ask me a question.   I grabbed my valet ticket looked at him and said you are a pussy.  Last thing I heard was that women yelling "you're banned, you're banned".   Another supervisor brought the car around and told me the same.  lol.   

mom day GIF
 

 

i did chuckle at the dude crying about “absofuckinglutely” though.

Edited by lilMAC25
  • Haha 3
Posted
1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

thought it was a lovely story, and you tell it so well. 

Yeah, no idea how I got 16 English/lit hours. 
 

actually I’d guess it was the wife that got the ban, it was her card.  Had some explaining to to do 

6 minutes ago, lilMAC25 said:

mom day GIF

thanks! 

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Posted
8 minutes ago, Park Gothic said:

I really love venting my spleen at underpaid service workers so this hits close to home. Awesome tangent. 

Larry David Sigh GIF by Curb Your Enthusiasm

I bussed tables for a year in college and spent a summer at a plant on the ship channel as a general laborer. I’d have killed to get a job as a valet. Underpaid? Sign 19 year old CTJ up.

 

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Posted
11 minutes ago, Tex Long said:

What was it Franzese said? "Treat People Right," I believe. Valet story seems like a lose-lose on that front. No Archmania, either.

 

You can learn a lot about a person based on how they treat service people

No offense to MontereyMx, but it gives off "I get to have the last word" vibes. 

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Posted
3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I bussed tables for a year in college and spent a summer at a plant on the ship channel as a general laborer. I’d have killed to get a job as a valet. Underpaid? Sign 19 year old CTJ up.

 

Old friend - in every way - a guy with enormous amounts of cashola in hand, once told me that the second-best job he ever had was Doorman at a high-rolling Atlantic City hotel. He knew all the big shots' names, always greeted them effusively and treated their "nieces" with great respect.

Posted

I was a valet at the Marriott downtown the summer of 1995. Memories include but are not limited to, Nate Newton calling a cab early one morning for a, ahem, professional who had shared a room with him the night before, and an extremely drunk Captain Harris from Police Academy (the dickhead) fetching his car and driving away hammered. It was a great job.

Posted
51 minutes ago, Js1 said:

You can learn a lot about a person based on how they treat service people

No offense to MontereyMx, but it gives off "I get to have the last word" vibes. 

no offense taken, completely agree 

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Posted
"Who you are some of the time is who you are all of the time."
              --Steve Sarkisian (and others)

But some of the time I’m a drunken slob who will watch 12 hours of college football in one day.
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Posted
1 hour ago, Red Five said:

and an extremely drunk Captain Harris from Police Academy (the dickhead) fetching his car and driving away hammered. It was a great job.

Small world. He drove me and some friends home from a bar in Houston in a rent car while he was fairly drunk. 

Posted
34 minutes ago, Red Five said:


But some of the time I’m a drunken slob who will watch 12 hours of college football in one day.

You mean 5 months of the year? 

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Posted
3 hours ago, MontereyMX said:

lol, ok.  For years valet has been comped do to the wife and her addiction to that shit.   We pull up and most times are greeted by name.  She shows her players card and I give them my cell number since im mostly the driver.   They will immediately send a text to respond to when you are ready for your vehicle.   A few hours later it's time to go.  I respond to text and immediately get automated response that we owe 20 bucks instead of the usual your vehicle will be here in 5 to 10 min.  I go over to the valet ticket counter inside and ask what's going on.  This little motherfucker manning the booth bowed up and said it's always been that way and we will need to pay to get our car.   I responded nope not paying.   He tried to argue and I shut him down pretty quick.  He then ask if I wanted to speak to a supervisor.  I said "absofuckinglutely I do" and walked off to get my wife's players card because I knew they were going to need it eventually.   We come back to the counter and there is a female supervisor.  I ask her what was going on and she said we needed to pay, where is your ticket and players club.   I put them on the counter she grabbed them stamped paid on the ticket and told me that if I ever cuss one of her employees again I was banned.  I told her that I didn't cuss anyone.   Immediately that guy popped around the corner, tears in his eyes, lips shivering and said, "you said absofuckinglutely".  I responded, you ask me a question.   I grabbed my valet ticket looked at him and said you are a pussy.  Last thing I heard was that women yelling "you're banned, you're banned".   Another supervisor brought the car around and told me the same.  lol.   

See kids. This is how you absofuckinglutely NOT humble brag.

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Posted
21 minutes ago, Jkwellborn said:


You trying to get Adrian Petersons attention?

The other guy beat you to the joke. I could have used a better comparison though. 

The point is, pick on someone who can put up an actual fight. 

Posted
2 hours ago, Da Fino said:

Small world. He drove me and some friends home from a bar in Houston in a rent car while he was fairly drunk. 

He was extraordinarily drunk. So drunk I asked the manager, "Um, we can't let him drive, can we?". He just shrugged and said go get his keys. Off he went. 

Posted
4 hours ago, Tex Long said:

Old friend - in every way - a guy with enormous amounts of cashola in hand, once told me that the second-best job he ever had was Doorman at a high-rolling Atlantic City hotel. He knew all the big shots' names, always greeted them effusively and treated their "nieces" with great respect.

Mark me down as never having relations with a mafia boss’ daughter or niece. 

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Posted

The Athletic put out a "Top 25 SEC Players for 2025" article. Link below and, because I think all of you people are just fantastic, I C&P'd into a spoiler the article itself for those who don't want to click or subscribe. Rich text, because that's the way it should be read, and I don't care for you dark mode types one bit. 

https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/6448604/2025/06/26/sec-best-players-top-25-sellers-manning-nussmeier/

Spoiler

Where do Arch Manning, LaNorris Sellers rank? The 25 best players in the SEC in 2025

NORMAN, OKLAHOMA - OCTOBER 19:  Quarterback LaNorris Sellers #16 of the South Carolina Gamecocks scrambles for a first down against the Oklahoma Sooners in the first quarter at Gaylord Family Oklahoma Memorial Stadium on October 19, 2024 in Norman, Oklahoma.  (Photo by Brian Bahr/Getty Images)

45

 
June 26, 2025Updated 12:40 pm CDT

The SEC is once again loaded with elite talent.

The proof is always the NFL Draft. The league had a record 79 players selected in the 2025 draft — 14 more than its previous record (most recently in 2021). Almost half of the first-round picks (15 of 32) came from the SEC.

It would be easy to list the 25 top draft prospects from the SEC heading into the season and call it a day. But that’s not what this is. This is our list of the 25 best players in the conference.

Let’s dive in.

1. LaNorris Sellers, QB, South Carolina

The 2024 SEC Freshman of the Year and third-team all-conference pick ranked 17th nationally in passing efficiency after throwing for 2,534 yards with 18 touchdowns and seven interceptions. The former three-star recruit also ran for 674 yards and seven TDs. He enters the season with the sixth-best Heisman odds, according to BetMGM.

2. Anthony Hill Jr., LB, Texas

Why is Texas considered the co-favorite with Ohio State to win the national title? Let’s start with defense, and the Horns probably have the two best defensive players in the SEC. Hill, a 6-feet-3, 239-pound junior and former five-star recruit, earned first-team All-America honors from The Athletic last season. He finished fifth in the league with 113 tackles and led the SEC with 16 1/2 tackles for loss while recording eight sacks.

3. Kadyn Proctor, OT, Alabama

The 6-7, 360-pound junior earned second-team All-SEC honors in 2024. The Iowa native allowed three sacks and 15 pressures on 323 pass-blocking snaps, according to Pro Football Focus. Proctor will team with center Parker Brailsford and right guard Jaeden Roberts to form the core of what should be one of the best offensive lines in the country.

4. Colin Simmons, DE, Texas

The Shaun Alexander Award winner — given to the nation’s top freshman — didn’t start a game for the Longhorns in 2024 but tied for third in the SEC in tackles for loss (14) and tied for fifth in sacks (nine). The 6-3, 241-pound Dallas native will be in the starting lineup for Texas this fall.

5. Ryan Williams, WR, Alabama

The 6-foot, 175-pound sophomore’s breakout performance against Georgia highlighted a stellar rookie season that ended with first-team All-SEC and second-team All-American (AFCA) honors. He caught 48 passes for 865 yards and eight touchdowns and added two touchdown runs as well.

6. Keldric Faulk, DL, Auburn

The 6-6, 270-pound junior has 20 starts in two seasons at Auburn and is garnering first-round NFL Draft buzz heading into the season. He tallied 11 tackles for loss and seven sacks last season and is the only returning full-time starter on the Tigers’ front seven.

7. Garrett Nussmeier, QB, LSU

The fifth-year senior enters his second season as the Tigers’ starter minus four offensive linemen who were drafted, including left tackle Will Campbell. However, LSU signed a top transfer class, and Nussemeier is expected to have a banner season. He was one of two SEC quarterbacks to throw for at least 4,000 yards in 2024, but he also tied for the league lead with 12 interceptions. He has the second-best Heisman odds behind Arch Manning of Texas.

 

8. Dylan Stewart, edge, South Carolina

The 6-5, 245-pound Washington, D.C., native finished fourth in the SEC with 51 quarterback pressures in 2024, according to Pro Football Focus. He made 11 starts as a true freshman and finished with 10 1/2 tackles for loss and 6 1/2 sacks. The challenge for Stewart in 2025 is to continue dominating after the Gamecocks lost three NFL Draft picks along the defensive line — Kyle Kennard, Tonka Hemingway and T.J. Sanders.

9. Whit Weeks, LB, LSU

A first-team All-SEC selection as a sophomore in 2024, Weeks ranked second in the league with 125 tackles, including 10 for loss and 3 1/2 sacks. The Georgia native had one interception and four pass breakups.

10. Jake Slaughter, C, Florida

The first-team Associated Press All-American enters his fifth season in Gainesville and is considered by most to be the best center in college football. He’s a big reason Florida allowed 19 fewer sacks last season than it did in 2023 and why the Gators should have one of the top offensive lines in the nation in 2025.

11. LT Overton, edge, Alabama

The 6-5, 283-pound former five-star recruit from Milton, Ga., led Alabama with nine quarterback hurries after transferring from Texas A&M last season. Overton started only four games but tallied 42 tackles, including three for loss and two sacks. He should be one of the top players in the league this season as he transitions into a full-time starting role.

12. Christen Miller, DL, Georgia

It feels strange not having a player Georgia ranked higher on this list, but the defending SEC champions lost 13 players to the 2025 NFL Draft. Miller, a 6-4, 305-pound redshirt junior, is the only returning starter on the Bulldogs’ defensive line. He recorded 27 tackles, including 3 1/2 tackles for loss and 1 1/2 sacks, in 2024.

13. John Mateer, QB, Oklahoma

Mateer accounted for 44 touchdowns — more than any other QB nationally — at Washington State in 2024. He ranked eighth in passing efficiency, completing 64.6 percent of his attempts for 3,139 yards, 29 touchdowns and only seven interceptions while also rushing for 826 yards and 15 scores. Facing SEC defenses will be a different chore, but Oklahoma coach Brent Venables is counting on Mateer, Cal transfer Jaydn Ott and several other additions to revive an offense that struggled mightily in its first tour through the league.

14. Michael Taaffe, S, Texas

The 6-foot, 190-pound fifth-year senior has started 26 games in his career and earned second-team All-America honors from the AP last season when he had 78 tackles, 5 1/2 tackles for loss, two sacks, 12 pass deflections and two interceptions. Not bad for a former walk-on. He will team with cornerback Malik Muhammad to anchor the Longhorns’ secondary in 2025.

15. Cam Coleman, WR, Auburn

The 6-3, 195-pound sensational sophomore from Phenix City, Ala., lived up to his five-star hype in Year 1, catching 37 passes for 598 yards and eight touchdowns. He should thrive with a bunch of new weapons around him this fall, including receivers Eric Singleton Jr. (Georgia Tech) and Horatio Fields (Wake Forest).

16. Arch Manning, QB, Texas

Even if his last name weren’t Manning, odds are high that the quarterback at Texas would’ve entered this season among the favorites to win the Heisman. Manning, though, looks the part, having made plenty of big-time throws as well as plays with his legs when he stepped in for Quinn Ewers last season.

17. Jalon Kilgore, CB, South Carolina

Only two full-time starters are back on South Carolina’s vaunted defense. We already ranked the other, Stewart. Kilgore, a 6-1, 211-pound junior, tied for the SEC lead with five interceptions and added 10 pass breakups to go with 48 tackles last season.

18. Jermod McCoy, CB, Tennessee

The 6-foot, 193-pound junior from Texas was a Jim Thorpe Award semifinalist last season after transferring from Oregon State. He earned first-team All-SEC honors and was among the league leaders with 13 pass breakups and four interceptions. McCoy would be higher on this list had he not torn his ACL in January. He is expected back at some point this season.

19. Suntarine Perkins, LB, Ole Miss

Lane Kiffin had eight players drafted — the most for Ole Miss since the beginning of the seven-round format in 1994. There’s not a lot of starting experience back on defense except for this speedy 6-1, 210-pound junior who had 14 tackles for loss, 10 1/2 sacks and 31 pressures last season.

20. R Mason Thomas, edge, Oklahoma

The 6-2, 249-pound senior from South Florida cracked the starting lineup last season and earned second-team All-SEC honors, finishing with a team-leading 12 1/2 tackles for loss, 11 hurries and nine sacks.

21. Eli Stowers, TE, Vanderbilt

The former Texas A&M quarterback recruit earned first-team All-SEC honors in 2024 after transferring from New Mexico State, catching 49 passes for 638 yards and five touchdowns. With quarterback Diego Pavia back, expect another productive season from Sowers.

 

22. DJ Lagway, QB, Florida

The sophomore from Texas went 6-1 as a starter in 2024, tying Chris Leak for the most wins by a true freshman quarterback at Florida. He completed 59.9 percent of his attempts for 1,915 yards, 12 touchdowns and nine interceptions while rushing 51 times for 101 yards. He missed the spring recovering from shoulder and hamstring injuries.

23. Daylen Everette, CB, Georgia

Everette, a third-team All-SEC selection in 2024, is entering his third season as a starter. The 6-1, 190-pound junior from Virginia had 58 tackles and a team-high three interceptions, including two in the SEC title victory over Texas.

24. Tyreak Sapp, DL, Florida

The fifth-year senior from Fort Lauderdale, Fla., led the Gators with seven sacks and 13 tackles for loss last season and can line up anywhere on the defensive line. Sapp was one of four Florida players who received the Tim Tebow Leadership Award this spring. Jake Slaughter, No. 10 on this list, was another.

25. Will Lee III, CB, Texas A&M

The 6-3, 190-pound Kansas State transfer earned second-team All-SEC honors in his first season in College Station. Lee intercepted two passes and had 10 pass breakups and 42 tackles in 2024.

10 others to watch

26. KJ Bolden, S, Georgia

27. Deontae Lawson, LB, Alabama

28. Diego Pavia, QB, Vanderbilt

29. CJ Allen, LB, Georgia

30. Harold Perkins Jr., LB, LSU

31. Eric Singleton Jr., WR, Auburn

32. Zachariah Branch, WR, Georgia

33. Austin Barber, OT, Florida

34. Cayden Green, OG, Missouri

35. Caleb Banks, DL, Florida

 

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Posted
4 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

6. Keldric Faulk, DL, Auburn

The 6-6, 270-pound junior has 20 starts in two seasons at Auburn and is garnering first-round NFL Draft buzz heading into the season. He tallied 11 tackles for loss and seven sacks last season and is the only returning full-time starter on the Tigers’ front seven.

His production will most certainly go down because of who he is surrounded by and pundits will say he had a down year and will decrease his draft stock. 

Posted

I actually think the list, at first glance, is pretty good. 

-Sellers at #1 is fine. He's a terrific player. His team is going to suck, so this will wind up looking like a bad rating, but he's a stud nonetheless.

-Hill Jr. at #2 is well done and deserved. I think he could be the defensive player of the year. 

-There are 3 aggie players in the top 25, but only one of them still plays at ATM. Overton, he of the preacher father who Jimbo built a church for during his recruitment, is coming off a good year at Bama and headed for potentially big things. Stowers will be a top 3 round pick at TE out of Vandy in the next draft. Will "The Blanket" Lee is #25 on the list. Manny Navarro is a pretty level-headed writer when he's not discussing Miami. He must have looked at the list and thought, "Oh, shit, I haven't thrown the aggies a bone. I don't want to deal with all of their plaintive bullshit in social media. I need to find someone on their roster. This Lee guy doesn't look terrible, I guess. I'll pick him."

-No one in the top 25 for Kentucky, Arkansas, Miss State or Mizzou. Missouri gets a guard listed in the "next 10".

-I assumed we'd lazily see Harold Perkins in the top 25, but Navarro was able to control himself to some degree. He put him in the next 10 because, hey, Arkansas is still on that LSU schedule. 

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Posted
4 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Mateer above Arch?

I guess. 

Though I don't see Marcel Reed.  BOMC

From a production perspective, Mateer's placement makes sense to me. I get the "but the competition" aspect, but the guy put up amazing numbers. I think he's going to miss last year's mark by a wide margin due to absolutely abysmal skill players (outside of Ott) and a patchwork OL that didn't even get to play together in the spring. 

Posted

Mateer's SOS: 67-82

Played 3 teams with a winning record and accounted for 9 total TD's in those games out of 44 total TD's on the year.

I highly doubt he'll have WR's running wide open in conference this year.

I'm going to underestimate him at my own peril because he can't be too smart if he's going to play QB for dead man walking Venables. 

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Posted
7 hours ago, MontereyMX said:

lol, ok.  For years valet has been comped do to the wife and her addiction to that shit.   We pull up and most times are greeted by name.  She shows her players card and I give them my cell number since im mostly the driver.   They will immediately send a text to respond to when you are ready for your vehicle.   A few hours later it's time to go.  I respond to text and immediately get automated response that we owe 20 bucks instead of the usual your vehicle will be here in 5 to 10 min.  I go over to the valet ticket counter inside and ask what's going on.  This little motherfucker manning the booth bowed up and said it's always been that way and we will need to pay to get our car.   I responded nope not paying.   He tried to argue and I shut him down pretty quick.  He then ask if I wanted to speak to a supervisor.  I said "absofuckinglutely I do" and walked off to get my wife's players card because I knew they were going to need it eventually.   We come back to the counter and there is a female supervisor.  I ask her what was going on and she said we needed to pay, where is your ticket and players club.   I put them on the counter she grabbed them stamped paid on the ticket and told me that if I ever cuss one of her employees again I was banned.  I told her that I didn't cuss anyone.   Immediately that guy popped around the corner, tears in his eyes, lips shivering and said, "you said absofuckinglutely".  I responded, you ask me a question.   I grabbed my valet ticket looked at him and said you are a pussy.  Last thing I heard was that women yelling "you're banned, you're banned".   Another supervisor brought the car around and told me the same.  lol.   

On the flip side of this, I worked as a valet in college. If some middle aged guy/gal was acting like an asshole, I'd just nod and add a minute to my time "finding their car." Usually those people weren't big tippers anyways. Needless to say, my valet career did not last very long. 

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