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Posted

It's November 1st. Thanksgiving is 26 days away. Christmas is 53. Are y'all ready to get yer holiday cheer? Alright den, let's get our roll on!

The Longhorns are meh. AI slop is everywhere. You might need to take out a personal loan if you're planning on serving prime rib for the big feast. 

This is where we share the pain in hopes of surviving the insanity. Bring it, people.

  • Like 1
Posted

As a childless adult with no travel commitments, I'm just here to support those in the coming weeks.

Those who drop a couple grand on airfare.
Hoping the wearher/TSA/random fuckery doesn't impact their travel.

I witnessed a kid meltdown at Costco this morning when their mom didn't buy the huge Lego display.

  • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
Posted

Going to the UK with a majority of family for the Christmas holiday. That's not the bitching part. The bitching is my mother. I wish she would finally grow up and learn to share vacation planning. I've always dreaded family vacations because of her. Since I was a kid when my siblings and I would try to help plan vacations by telling her about an event or something else that seemed interesting that was in the area we were going to, she would ALWAYS make excuses of why we couldn't do that because we have no time or flat out, "No, we're not gonna do any activities you guys wanna do. We're only gonna do what I wanna do." I gave up on family vacations years ago and decided to give it another chance, but mom is still hogging all the vacation planning basically making it her trip and we're all along for the ride(even though we're all paying for our own plane tickets and other expenses). Hell, my brother found an event going on in Glasgow that's happening while we're visiting and he suggested that me, him, our sister and the spouses go to it and give the parents a romantic night to themselves. Mom, still acting childish, literally put her foot down and said "no, y'all don't have time to do that. We should do *insert other activity instead." WTF is wrong with this woman? She loves doing date nights with my dad and this would be a great opportunity to give them private time. I guess it's because SHE didn't plan it herself. Fuck it, I'm gonna do a few things on my own with the girlfriend. If she doesn't like it she can kick rocks. 

Not sure what we're doing for Thanksgiving yet. I'm sure some shit will hit the fan. Let's get ready to rock out with our cocks out!

Posted
46 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

I have to have Thanksgiving dinner with my aggy cousin, her aggy husband, and several other aggy.  They might be 11-0.  And they're aggy.

I'll just pour some out for you now. Godspeed my friend. 

pour-one-out-for-the-homies.gif

  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted

Now that we're on the official holiday drama thread, the classic story is here. God I can't believe it has been 19 years! Still funny. 

After much deliberation, I will reluctantly tell the story of my family touring the Christmas lights in Waco last week.

My wife told me about this thing at the beginning of December. To be honest I had forgotten all about it until the night before. I did not want to go. Call me a scrooge but riding around looking at electricity captured in colored bulbs is not my idea of entertainment. However, the kids were looking forward to it and apparently at some point I had agreed to do it.

This little tour got us for 6 bucks a head. My wife, her parents, our 4 kids and I all went. Now I wasn’t a math major but that's $48 to ride around in a trolley and look at lights. WTF? (I found this out the day of)

So we drive all the way the hell to downtown Waco and sit and wait for this trolley to take us on the tour. They’ve got a tree, Santa, hot cocoa- All that shit. Finally all the trolleys roll up and Shaquandra our official Christmas lights tour guide hops out and says “Y’all going to look at the lights?....(pause) Okay den let’s get our roll on!”  

My initial gripe is that the bitch is driving at mach speed and you can’t see shit but a blurry-ass Santa and the occasional Wal-Mart $9.99 wire light-up reindeer. My father-in-law asks if she could slow down a bit so that we could take pictures and appreciate the lights a little more..(his words not mine). By this time I’ve already leaned over and whispered in my wife’s ear “$48 for this shit?”  She gives me the obligatory elbow and “stop being like that”

We roll along for about 15 minutes looking at every tacky piece of shit overkill light extravaganza in East Waco. Suddenly we get on the highway and start heading to the other side of town. We ride for a good 12-15 minutes without seeing a single damn house decorated. So I lean over to the wife again and say “umm where the hell are we going?”
Elbow “shut up” and all that again. Shaquandra has Mariah Carey’s Christmas cd blasting and we just getting our roll on...and then it happened.

Signs and streets started to look really familiar. My oldest daughter says “hey there’s HEB.” As in the HEB right down the road from our house (approx. 1/2 mile)
I lean over to the wife again “This bitch better not turn right at this light!”
What does the driver do????? That’s right folks, fucking turns right and heads right to our neighborhood. Not only our neighborhood “BUT OUR FUCKING STREET!!

I am just at a loss for words by this point. I cannot believe this is happening. Street after street, house after house for a good 30 minutes. The driver is going on and on about “oooh like over thurr- look at the Santa up on the roof kids.” I know bitch “I'M THE ONE THAT FUCKING PUT HIS FAT ASS UP THERE LAST WEEK"

I can’t type this anymore it's just too painful. The point is, we spent almost $50 to look at the Christmas lights in our own damn neighborhood. My wife just hung her head in shame. I’ll be in charge of Christmas spirit next year thank you very much.

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