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The Struggle is Real


Beau Vine

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22 hours ago, Vito Andolini said:

I guess I’m considering an adult who would bring something to the table with a down payment, enough to avoid that ridiculous mortgage insurance. Yes, if you’re making $100K a year, you should not take on a $2,000+ monthly mortgage payment.

If you can't take on a $2,000/mo mortgage payment, you aren't buying a house, or renting a decent apartment, out here at least.

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4 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

I love watching those phony house hunting shows on HGTV, where the newlyweds in Cali drop $700,000 on a fixer upper. 

Watch the Property Brothers episodes filmed in Canada (Toronto area, iirc).  Every show is like a couple in their 30's getting their first house.  Their budget is $1+MM.  It's insane.

Be Like, Funny, and Meme: HGTV BE LIKE  SHARPEN COLORED PENCILS MY  WIFE WORKS OUR A MONTH  COLLECTING BUTTERFLIES. OUR BUDGET  1.8 MILLION (@cabbagecatmemes )

Edited by hopkinsnhorns
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19 hours ago, Brew said:

We set our firm up different in that I get 75% of my income in one check each year and take a smaller draw monthly during the year. I pay everything normal out of the draw and use the “bonus” for charity, savings, toys, other properties, etc. It makes it easy to control (my wife’s) spending/saving because my fixed monthly income is lower. Anyone in business for themselves or able to control their income stream should consider it. You have some liability risk on the cash in the entity, but it has worked well for our partner group.

It depends on how you structure it, but I have always generally just taken out a distribution when there's a need for cash or the balance sheet is too high. Doesn't necessarily need to be on a schedule. I pay myself a regular paycheck of 1400 / week and that's what we live off of.

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1 hour ago, Gene Parmesan said:

Their car payments amount to 800/month for 2 vehicles.  That's not where the fat in their spending is.  

Imagine having 300k-600k of student loan debt, and then deciding to acquire 2 luxury cars on credit........

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On 3/27/2019 at 12:07 PM, Vito Andolini said:

I guess I’m considering an adult who would bring something to the table with a down payment, enough to avoid that ridiculous mortgage insurance. Yes, if you’re making $100K a year, you should not take on a $2,000+ monthly mortgage payment.

That's well within reason.

Take these people in the original post off the table.  Most people are like them in that it's not the housing expense that's crushing them, it's everything else.  You'll see houses in very middle class suburbs with a new Tahoe and a new truck in the garage.  They can easily be paying $1,200 per month in car payments and we're talking household income between $100K-$150K.  Stop focusing on the real estate.  That's generally a good long term investment and you get some tax spiffs.

The same applies to every single tier you go up.  There are always people in each and every tier struggling to stay there.  The only difference is the numbers.

 

 

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2 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

Lol, I realize this isn't necessarily addressed to me, but just to clarify, the home we purchased was nowhere, NOWHERE near 1 million dollars. We are in an established neighborhood, but until about 3-4 years ago it was a gentrified one. But the neighborhood is definitely on the rise. A few teardowns and scratch builds and probably 6-8 renovations going on at any one time. But yes, even if I lost my job and income, I'd think we'd be able to sell the home relatively quickly. 

One goal of personal finance is to NOT have to sell your house if you lose your job. That doesn't mean support for indefinite unemployment but if a few months of unemployment would lead to drastic economic changes, that person is carrying a big risk.

I also think that anyone can pretty much sell their home quickly if they were willing to lower the price enough, which is another reason to avoid forced sales.

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6 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

One goal of personal finance is to NOT have to sell your house if you lose your job. That doesn't mean support for indefinite unemployment but if a few months of unemployment would lead to drastic economic changes, that person is carrying a big risk.

I also think that anyone can pretty much sell their home quickly if they were willing to lower the price enough, which is another reason to avoid forced sales.

Right. Weve got an emergency fund, and when I meant sell, i meant sell without taking a loss or even not making a profit. We are ver fortunate. After Harvey entire swaths of Houston I do not believe can say the same. I have a buddy who was in the middle of a huge reno on a home he purchased. And today he is till mid reno and In not sure the house is worth what hes already put into it, much less to finish. 

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2 hours ago, Aqua Buddha said:

The same applies to every single tier you go up.  There are always people in each and every tier struggling to stay there.  The only difference is the numbers.

 

 

This is true to a point. I generally think the danger zone is the 1mm to 5mm net worth type. It can give the illusion of security that isn't there against blind spending. ONce you get over 10mm it's harder to screw up. Though going back to the inheritance thing, I know a pair of brothers that blew 40mm worth, so there's always exceptions.

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20 minutes ago, G650 said:

This is true to a point. I generally think the danger zone is the 1mm to 5mm net worth type. It can give the illusion of security that isn't there against blind spending. ONce you get over 10mm it's harder to screw up. Though going back to the inheritance thing, I know a pair of brothers that blew 40mm worth, so there's always exceptions.

Depends on what your net worth is made up of. $1M-$5M in cash and low risk bonds and you are in pretty good shape. $1M-$5M in business equity and real estate and it can be a little more tenuous.

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2 hours ago, Brew said:

Depends on what your net worth is made up of. $1M-$5M in cash and low risk bonds and you are in pretty good shape. $1M-$5M in business equity and real estate and it can be a little more tenuous.

The key to the game is your capital reserves, If you haven't got enough, you can't piss in the tall weed with the big dogs.

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Hell naw, that shit can go away in a blink with assholes like the people in the OP.

 

I agree. And if the 1-5 is liquid then the persons net worth is likely higher. I know very few people with 70-90% of their net worth in liquid assets. It’s usually the opposite. Someone with $3m in liquidity probably has NAV 1-2x that in real estate and business interests if not more.

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24 minutes ago, troph said:

I agree. And if the 1-5 is liquid then the persons net worth is likely higher. I know very few people with 70-90% of their net worth in liquid assets. It’s usually the opposite. Someone with $3m in liquidity probably has NAV 1-2x that in real estate and business interests if not more.

I see plenty of people with that kind of net worth in low risk assets like cash, bonds, etc with no other investments. They tend to be middle age or older and you wouldn’t have any clue they had that kind of asset base from interacting with them though. 

My point was $1M-$5M in low risk net worth is more stable than $1M-$5M in business/real estate net worth. I agree with G650 that it could lull someone into a false sense of security and spending, but that risk is with someone 40 not 60. I’m still after the appreciation factor like most in the younger group, but it could all disappear tomorrow if one of my partners pulls an Arthur Anderson deal, rental property gets hammered again, coastal property goes off a cliff, etc., so it 100% depends on what stage of life you are in.

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37 minutes ago, troph said:

 

I agree. And if the 1-5 is liquid then the persons net worth is likely higher. I know very few people with 70-90% of their net worth in liquid assets. It’s usually the opposite. Someone with $3m in liquidity probably has NAV 1-2x that in real estate and business interests if not more.

Totally.

 

And I think my overall point is that the issue highlighted in the article is that it's the way people spend, not the absolute dollar amount. They just scale it up as they get more money. I spend less per year than these people while having a higher income and much higher net worth. The difference is our spending habits are in a different galaxy. I buy a handful of high quality, high outlay items but spend almost zero on the fluff. I have a 15 year old television. My house was 450k and I paid it off in 6 years. 

 

To say I have a dim view of middle class America, especially upper middle America, is well known to anyone who's seen my various rants here, and this article is illustrative of exactly what I'm talking about. There's several posters on this site that are complete poster children for this, and it bleeds into their choice of car, vacation, restaurant and more. I don't know where we went wrong, but shit is fucked.

Edited by G650
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Totally.
 
And I think my overall point is that the issue highlighted in the article is that it's the way people spend, not the absolute dollar amount. They just scale it up as they get more money. I spend less per year than these people while having a higher income and much higher net worth. The difference is our spending habits are in a different galaxy. I buy a handful of high quality, high outlay items but spend almost zero on the fluff. I have a 15 year old television. My house was 450k and I paid it off in 6 years. 
 
To say I have a dim view of middle class America, especially upper middle America, is well known to anyone who's seen my various rants here, and this article is illustrative of exactly what I'm talking about. There's several posters on this site that are complete poster children for this, and it bleeds into their choice of car, vacation, restaurant and more. I don't know where we went wrong, but shit is fucked.
Well now I want to know which posters you're referring to.
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1 minute ago, Okie State said:
6 minutes ago, G650 said:
Totally.
 
And I think my overall point is that the issue highlighted in the article is that it's the way people spend, not the absolute dollar amount. They just scale it up as they get more money. I spend less per year than these people while having a higher income and much higher net worth. The difference is our spending habits are in a different galaxy. I buy a handful of high quality, high outlay items but spend almost zero on the fluff. I have a 15 year old television. My house was 450k and I paid it off in 6 years. 
 
To say I have a dim view of middle class America, especially upper middle America, is well known to anyone who's seen my various rants here, and this article is illustrative of exactly what I'm talking about. There's several posters on this site that are complete poster children for this, and it bleeds into their choice of car, vacation, restaurant and more. I don't know where we went wrong, but shit is fucked.

Read more  

Well now I want to know which posters you're referring to.

Nobody who has posted in this thread yet. Of course this is probably the fucking batsign.

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6 minutes ago, G650 said:

Totally.

 

And I think my overall point is that the issue highlighted in the article is that it's the way people spend, not the absolute dollar amount. They just scale it up as they get more money. I spend less per year than these people while having a higher income and much higher net worth. The difference is our spending habits are in a different galaxy. I buy a handful of high quality, high outlay items but spend almost zero on the fluff. I have a 15 year old television. My house was 450k and I paid it off in 6 years. 

 

To say I have a dim view of middle class America, especially upper middle America, is well known to anyone who's seen my various rants here, and this article is illustrative of exactly what I'm talking about. There's several posters on this site that are complete poster children for this, and it bleeds into their choice of car, vacation, restaurant and more. I don't know where we went wrong, but shit is fucked.

Well, to be fair, you also have a $100k+ car and are building a race boat. 

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Just now, Chewbacca said:

Well, to be fair, you also have a $100k+ car and are building a race boat. 

Yeah, that's what I was referring to though. I'll spend money for specific things that I think are worthwhile. Travel, food, booze and such. But my day to day life is pretty simple. And I'm fortunate my wife is super frugal, more than I am, so it's a good match. Except for groceries, fucking Whole Foods. What you see though is mindless spending. Whatever the trendy clothes are, the latest electronic whatever, car every couple years. Not even big ticket just repeated consistent mindless spending. Its filling some hole in people's existence that's somehow gotten stripped away by our culture. 

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4 minutes ago, Okie State said:

All I know is I feel very poor when these topics come up. $1MM houses and $5MM net worth at 40 is just in a different world than I live and I'd consider myself as doing fairly well for myself. It's all relative I guess.

Well, I mean you are doing well. It doesn't take any of these things to live a good life. The fact people think so is the root of the issue.

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Well, I mean you are doing well. It doesn't take any of these things to live a good life. The fact people think so is the root of the issue.
Right, I agree. It's just a natural tendency to compare yourself to others and their success be it perceived or not. Mostly I'm just curious if I'm making smart decisions with the means I have available to me. I think I am, but it's still interesting to me to see how others live and invest and build wealth. I wouldn't consider myself overly materialistic, but I do appreciate quality and I do have goals to improve my and my family's situation in the future.
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18 minutes ago, Okie State said:
23 minutes ago, G650 said:
Totally.
 
And I think my overall point is that the issue highlighted in the article is that it's the way people spend, not the absolute dollar amount. They just scale it up as they get more money. I spend less per year than these people while having a higher income and much higher net worth. The difference is our spending habits are in a different galaxy. I buy a handful of high quality, high outlay items but spend almost zero on the fluff. I have a 15 year old television. My house was 450k and I paid it off in 6 years. 
 
To say I have a dim view of middle class America, especially upper middle America, is well known to anyone who's seen my various rants here, and this article is illustrative of exactly what I'm talking about. There's several posters on this site that are complete poster children for this, and it bleeds into their choice of car, vacation, restaurant and more. I don't know where we went wrong, but shit is fucked.

Read more  

Well now I want to know which posters you're referring to.

I have an idea.  But out of maintaining a semblance of civility, will only out the guesses from my Chad Briscoe account

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5 minutes ago, G650 said:

Yeah, that's what I was referring to though. I'll spend money for specific things that I think are worthwhile. Travel, food, booze and such. But my day to day life is pretty simple. And I'm fortunate my wife is super frugal, more than I am, so it's a good match. Except for groceries, fucking Whole Foods. What you see though is mindless spending. Whatever the trendy clothes are, the latest electronic whatever, car every couple years. Not even big ticket just repeated consistent mindless spending. Its filling some hole in people's existence that's somehow gotten stripped away by our culture. 

I agree and that is how I am, too.  My day to day life is pretty boring.  I don't spend a lot of money on much.  We will do dinner out probably 1-2 times per week (but I work from home, so I don't eat lunches out), and I will spend money on wine, booze and travel.  I have a nice car, but I only drive maybe 6k miles a year these days, so it will last for a long time.  

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19 minutes ago, Okie State said:

All I know is I feel very poor when these topics come up. $1MM houses and $5MM net worth at 40 is just in a different world than I live and I'd consider myself as doing fairly well for myself. It's all relative I guess.

Doing well is relative which ties back around with the article. I know plenty of poor high paid people and rich low paid people. Honestly, I know as many people that are financially secure with a lifetime of decent earnings as those that had high earnings at a younger age. It is the normal DR. scenario of their spending getting stupid straight out of school which goes along with what G650 said.

I met with a Dr. this week that is late 50’s, has $0 interest and dividend income, makes $750k a year where the average family income is less than $100k, got diagnosed with a debilitating disease last year and is now in trouble because his disability checks are a lot different. Maybe he’ll cut me a deal on his GT3 RS to help pay his bills. The complete opposite of that is an estate that we just wrapped up where the beneficiaries got $8M because the couple had lived cheap all their lives. They had no idea that’s what they were inheriting.

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9 minutes ago, Okie State said:
14 minutes ago, G650 said:
Well, I mean you are doing well. It doesn't take any of these things to live a good life. The fact people think so is the root of the issue.

Right, I agree. It's just a natural tendency to compare yourself to others and their success be it perceived or not. Mostly I'm just curious if I'm making smart decisions with the means I have available to me. I think I am, but it's still interesting to me to see how others live and invest and build wealth. I wouldn't consider myself overly materialistic, but I do appreciate quality and I do have goals to improve my and my family's situation in the future.

Absolutely man.

 

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The goal is to enjoy the whole journey as much as you can. Which necessitates being prepared for the rough spots and after the working years. But you can’t be so overly prepared that you forget to enjoy the journey because that would be missing the point. It’s a balancing act.

 

 

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2 hours ago, Chewbacca said:

I agree and that is how I am, too.  My day to day life is pretty boring.  I don't spend a lot of money on much.  We will do dinner out probably 1-2 times per week (but I work from home, so I don't eat lunches out), and I will spend money on wine, booze and travel.  I have a nice car, but I only drive maybe 6k miles a year these days, so it will last for a long time.  

I'm shocked by how many families eat out or order delivery every night.  

When my daughter was in HS, she had a couple of friends over to spend the night who commented that they couldn't believe her dad was cooking dinner.  

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I'm shocked by how many families eat out or order delivery every night.  
When my daughter was in HS, she had a couple of friends over to spend the night who commented that they couldn't believe her dad was cooking dinner.  
My wife and i split the cooking. I can't fathom not being able to cook.
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I'm shocked by how many families eat out or order delivery every night.  

When my daughter was in HS, she had a couple of friends over to spend the night who commented that they couldn't believe her dad was cooking dinner.  

Yep. It's unbelievable how expensive it is too. I took a hard look at our expenses recently after we were spending way too much last year. A decent chunk of it was on restaurants and I wouldn't say we were eating out nearly as often as others do. Even so, we've cut back and reallocated that money to more important things without a noticeable change in lifestyle.

 

Knowing how to cook and teaching my kids how to cook is also important to us.

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25 minutes ago, Okie State said:

Yep. It's unbelievable how expensive it is too. I took a hard look at our expenses recently after we were spending way too much last year. A decent chunk of it was on restaurants and I wouldn't say we were eating out nearly as often as others do. Even so, we've cut back and reallocated that money to more important things without a noticeable change in lifestyle.

 

Knowing how to cook and teaching my kids how to cook is also important to us.

She also said that of all the time she's spent at her best friend's house, the only things she has ever seen them "cook" are frozen pizzas and chicken nuggets.  

How do you live like that?

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37 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

She also said that of all the time she's spent at her best friend's house, the only things she has ever seen them "cook" are frozen pizzas and chicken nuggets.  

How do you live like that?

The scooters help 

5199-DC51-1-B81-442-E-AB46-3-A054-A0-FEC
 

Edited by Archer
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so you do the math and they are driving over 2000 miles a month (@$3/gallon for gas) between them.  my wife and i drove ~260K miles in 10 years between us (200K for me and 60K for the rib) in sprawling Dallas.  That's about 2160 miles a month for those scoring at home.  Never lived in NYC, but 2K a month seems high.  

anyway not posting to bash on the couple in the story.  Fuck it, they can live how they want to.  I don't see anything too egregious in their budget.  Some secondary investing outside their 401K should be in there but if they put the remainder in savings, they are essentially socking away almost 10% of their income between 401K and leftover form budget.  like Anthony Kiedis, they don't want to be a miser and that's OK

 

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8 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

She also said that of all the time she's spent at her best friend's house, the only things she has ever seen them "cook" are frozen pizzas and chicken nuggets.  

How do you live like that?

I mean, at least throw a little Sketti in there once in a while for variety

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14 hours ago, G650 said:

To say I have a dim view of middle class America, especially upper middle America, is well known to anyone who's seen my various rants here, and this article is illustrative of exactly what I'm talking about.

It bears repeating: They are spending money they don't have on shit they don't need trying to impress people that don't care about them.

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14 hours ago, Okie State said:
14 hours ago, G650 said:
Well, I mean you are doing well. It doesn't take any of these things to live a good life. The fact people think so is the root of the issue.

Right, I agree. It's just a natural tendency to compare yourself to others and their success be it perceived or not. Mostly I'm just curious if I'm making smart decisions with the means I have available to me. I think I am, but it's still interesting to me to see how others live and invest and build wealth. I wouldn't consider myself overly materialistic, but I do appreciate quality and I do have goals to improve my and my family's situation in the future.

 

Story time with Mr. Hoffa-

Our neighbors growing up were my parents best friends (and still are). They had a son the same age as me so we hung out a lot since our parents did. We were solidly in the lower to middle middle class growing up, Our neighbors were in the upper middle class- Not Texas rich but they had a nice house, cars, went on great vacations every year, he had every toy I wanted, Nintendo, etc.  

Fast forward 30 years and my parents retired at 62 are having a great retirement, no debt, 2nd home (condo by the beach) multiple vacations a year, golf, just doing pretty much anything they want (within reason) 

My parents best friends rarely travel, are supporting their two kids (to some extent) and just aren't having the retirement they should because they didn't save nearly enough when they were younger. 

The moral of the story it becomes really dangerous to compare yourself with others around you and if you aren't careful it can be your downfall. Don't worry about what other people are doing, have good advisors or mentors that help see the big picture and that's all that matters. But bottom line people of all income levels make awful decisions with their money and far too few of them have any guidance and end up wishing they would have done things differently when they were younger. Time is a bitch and the one thing we can never get back. 

 

TLDR: Be smart with your money and don't worry about what anybody else is doing. 

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1 hour ago, JimmyHoffa said:

 

Story time with Mr. Hoffa-

Our neighbors growing up were my parents best friends (and still are). They had a son the same age as me so we hung out a lot since our parents did. We were solidly in the lower to middle middle class growing up, Our neighbors were in the upper middle class- Not Texas rich but they had a nice house, cars, went on great vacations every year, he had every toy I wanted, Nintendo, etc.  

Fast forward 30 years and my parents retired at 62 are having a great retirement, no debt, 2nd home (condo by the beach) multiple vacations a year, golf, just doing pretty much anything they want (within reason) 

My parents best friends rarely travel, are supporting their two kids (to some extent) and just aren't having the retirement they should because they didn't save nearly enough when they were younger. 

The moral of the story it becomes really dangerous to compare yourself with others around you and if you aren't careful it can be your downfall. Don't worry about what other people are doing, have good advisors or mentors that help see the big picture and that's all that matters. But bottom line people of all income levels make awful decisions with their money and far too few of them have any guidance and end up wishing they would have done things differently when they were younger. Time is a bitch and the one thing we can never get back. 

 

TLDR: Be smart with your money and don't worry about what anybody else is doing. 

Yeah, this.  I'll reiterate again that in every economic tier, there are people that are stretching to be there.  It's easy to bag on the middle class but there are plenty of mid six figure types that are stretched really thin.  Emotions drive financial decisions and emotions are constant across the spectrum.

Someone mentioned it earlier but net worth isn't equal.  Do you have $5M in the bank or do you have a business or real estate valued at $5M?

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I agree, but I do like physical property over paper money. It isn't liquid, but it's a tangible asset. If you can afford the lack of liquidity and the need for quick access to cash.

Yeah, this.  I'll reiterate again that in every economic tier, there are people that are stretching to be there.  It's easy to bag on the middle class but there are plenty of mid six figure types that are stretched really thin.  Emotions drive financial decisions and emotions are constant across the spectrum.
Someone mentioned it earlier but net worth isn't equal.  Do you have $5M in the bank or do you have a business or real estate valued at $5M?
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2 hours ago, JimmyHoffa said:

 

Story time with Mr. Hoffa-

Our neighbors growing up were my parents best friends (and still are). They had a son the same age as me so we hung out a lot since our parents did. We were solidly in the lower to middle middle class growing up, Our neighbors were in the upper middle class- Not Texas rich but they had a nice house, cars, went on great vacations every year, he had every toy I wanted, Nintendo, etc.  

Fast forward 30 years and my parents retired at 62 are having a great retirement, no debt, 2nd home (condo by the beach) multiple vacations a year, golf, just doing pretty much anything they want (within reason) 

My parents best friends rarely travel, are supporting their two kids (to some extent) and just aren't having the retirement they should because they didn't save nearly enough when they were younger. 

The moral of the story it becomes really dangerous to compare yourself with others around you and if you aren't careful it can be your downfall. Don't worry about what other people are doing, have good advisors or mentors that help see the big picture and that's all that matters. But bottom line people of all income levels make awful decisions with their money and far too few of them have any guidance and end up wishing they would have done things differently when they were younger. Time is a bitch and the one thing we can never get back. 

 

TLDR: Be smart with your money and don't worry about what anybody else is doing. 

I agree that your parents' route was smarter, but who's to say the other couple didn't consciously decide that they wanted to spend and travel while younger and are ok with their decision.

Not sure what you mean by the other couple aren't having the retirement they should.  I'm turning 50 this year, and I hope to keep working until I die. I don't mean that I want to be grinding out a 60 work week when I'm 65, but sitting home, playing golf and fishing every day sounds boring. I've seen some people fall into a bottle for a long time when faced with nothing but leisure. And I don't mean in a fun way but causing a lot of damage.

Edited by Nice Guy Eddie
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