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smwhorn

So I am off to the synagogue . . . .

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for Yom Kippur services to begin atoning for my sins committed over the past year.  I am bringing the two goats as directed by the old testament.

Any other suggestions ??

 

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Posted (edited)

Wash your matzah balls. /no hōməˈsekSHo͞oəl

 

 

Edited by Hate

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5 hours ago, smwhorn said:

for Yom Kippur services to begin atoning for my sins committed over the past year.  I am bringing the two goats as directed by the old testament.

Any other suggestions ??

 

Don’t get shot?

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14 hours ago, DaysOff said:

Don't forget the classy Chinese food afterwards.

with high heels and the financial times...

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On 10/8/2019 at 9:11 PM, DaysOff said:

Don't forget the classy Chinese food afterwards.

I feel somewhat atoned, and went for Chinese yesterday in all honesty.  Up in NW Austin, so tried Red Lotus in that Jester shopping complex.  

Fucking awful.  I'm about to take a violent shit.  But at least I'm cleansed baby!  

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3 hours ago, 'stache said:

Goddamnit. Joobies in the middle, wife on the right. Hers are aight.

68b6f6270c5143b2d672bcc85c72a95a.jpg


smoke...

 

Shit...er I mean “pretty”

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So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

Edited by smwhorn

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9 minutes ago, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

forgive me, father, for i have sinned by lusting after mine neighbors' boobies

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13 minutes ago, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

"Hey! Check out them hooters!"

christ.jpg

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CSB/ My stepbro earned a degree in sculpture.  His senior thesis was a steel column with 5 sets of bronzed (made from casts) titties of various types.  Small, perky, pendulus, average and OH MY GOD THOSE ARE THE MOST PERFECT ONES I HAVE EVER IMAGINED!!!"

"uh, awkward, those are your sister in law's. . ."

She's Jewish.

And she was cool enough to let her husband make casts of her 4 BFFs boobs.

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CSB/ My stepbro earned a degree in sculpture.  His senior thesis was a steel column with 5 sets of bronzed (made from casts) titties of various types.  Small, perky, pendulus, average and OH MY GOD THOSE ARE THE MOST PERFECT ONES I HAVE EVER IMAGINED!!!"

"uh, awkward, those are your sister in law's. . ."

She's Jewish.

And she was cool enough to let her husband make casts of her 4 BFFs boobs.

I first read that as your stepbro got a degree in scripture.

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2 hours ago, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

Aren't you Jewish? What do you care?

Maybe he'd compare them to Mary Magdalene's. 

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19 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Aren't you Jewish? What do you care?

Maybe he'd compare them to Mary Magdalene's. 

Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and say, sorry Mary, we have a new winner.

18843216.jpg

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3 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

And she was cool enough to let her husband make casts of her 4 BFFs boobs.

I looked at this for a while trying to figure out what size BFF boobs are, and also how this chick had four of them.  it was a wild carnival going at full tilt through my mind.  

then, oh yeah, four of her good friends.  whatever.

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4 hours ago, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

He’d like to have a word with you about that whole “atonement” thing.

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34 minutes ago, formermav43 said:

He’d like to have a word with you about that whole “atonement” thing.

Well he can call my cell tomorrow. Hopefully not during the game.

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On 10/11/2019 at 4:50 PM, smwhorn said:

So I start a thread on Surly about seeking forgiveness from the Lord Almighty for the sins I have committed and you people (no racist) start posting pics of Jewish girls' boobies?  What would Jesus say ???

 

He would say "Goddamn, those are some big fucking titties! Hey Moses, get a load of them RATS!"

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On 10/11/2019 at 9:51 PM, smwhorn said:

Well he can call my cell tomorrow. Hopefully not during the game.

Is it wrong that I read your handle as "shwarmahorn"?  Now I'm hungry.

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