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ROFL BOX

Shit My Kid Says

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On 6/4/2020 at 10:10 AM, ROFL BOX said:

If you've never been on a hot day & put on a pair of underwear directly out of the freezer then I cannot begin to explain the joy you're missing out on.

 

Yes, I said that.

happy turn up GIF by FilmStruck

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19 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Nah, I'm a  super Taoist autistic furry.

Fixed it.

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I picked my kids up the other day from the sitter and my three year old got in the car going on and on about Jake. I asked her who Jake is and she looked me dead in the eye and said “Jake from farm”. Last night she had a toy phone and she was calling Jake from farm.

That commercial is on every ten minutes and she never noticed it. Now she will be talking about/to Jake from farm for months. It’s amazing what they can either ignore completely or latch on to.
My 4yo daughter had been going on about "Dave" lately. She picked it up from the movie "Abominable" ("Really, Dave?" "You darted Dave." Etc). Then apparently she overheard me playing Cheech and Chong's "Dave's not here" bit for my wife and now it's all a blend. She'll not mention it for days and then suddenly, "Let's talk about Dave!"

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On 7/17/2020 at 12:56 PM, ABSR said:

Fixed it.

thats-the-joke.gif

Meanwhile:

Quote

Daughter:   What do you miss most?
Wife:    Ohhh! Roller coasters. Excitement, cold drinks with ice, big plates of nachos...
Daughter:   That's a pretty immersive roller coaster.

 

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Said while talking trash during a BattleBots match - "I'm going to eat your butt like scissors in the microwave!" 

He eventually came back from an 0-2 deficit to win three games to two. 

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Said while talking trash during a BattleBots match - "I'm going to eat your butt like scissors in the microwave!" 
He eventually came back from an 0-2 deficit to win three games to two. 

ec9508071987d10fd0bc4aa46d1fbb8c.gif

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51 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Said while talking trash during a BattleBots match - "I'm going to eat your butt like scissors in the microwave!" 

He eventually came back from an 0-2 deficit to win three games to two. 

Can he gave pregame or halftime speeches to our football team

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Posted (edited)

We had a brief talk about taking eating butts and other similar "is this kid talking about analingus?!" types of threats out of his rotation. 

Time will tell whether it sticks. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
Butts

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My 7 year old daughter has been misquoting Hamilton after every chore.

Me: “thanks for unloading the dishwasher!”

Her: “Hypocrites—we get the job done.”

Me: “Do you mean immigrants?”

Her: “No, I’ve always lived here!”

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On 7/9/2020 at 10:10 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

I can't recall whether I've mentioned it before, but Doomlet has pretty close to whatever the musical equivalent of a photographic memory is.

He and I were listening to the Judgment Night soundtrack today (highly underrated, by the way) and when the Slayer/Ice-T song came on, he said, "oh good, it's Slayer and tea cup!" 

Got damn, Talk about a good flick from my formative years .. just hesitant to call it old school but I guess that also applies 

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Apparently my 5 year old has walked into my wife showering or changing...

Today he says to her: Mommy, you should shave your pee pee. It's really hairy.

 

I nearly died laughing. FWIW, my wife is not a hairy person and doesn't have a Demi Moore like bush, but having it trimmed back occasionally would be nice. 

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Curious - what age is sorta the cutoff for "kid" WRT this thread?  Roxette is up to 15 & Monster is 13 now.  The age of "innocent but funny as hell" is slipping away.

I mean, would @Armybrat get an entry for something one of his 50 year old kids say?

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Going into her Sophomore year.  I guess the Santa call is going on 12 years ago, maybe 11-ish?

She's got motor-mania of sorts, has plans for owning / operating a mid-80's or older Chevy truck.

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My son comes down after being in bed for a little bit (reading National Geographic - How Things Work) and he’s crying. He proceeds to tell us the sun is going to explode one day and that while he won’t be around, what’s the point of life and that everything is meaningless.

Seriously... my 9 year old had an existential crisis. He asked why are we here. He wants to know the meaning of life.... at 9.

Lots of fun at 9:45 at night.

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1 hour ago, Goofyboy said:

My son comes down after being in bed for a little bit (reading National Geographic - How Things Work) and he’s crying. He proceeds to tell us the sun is going to explode one day and that while he won’t be around, what’s the point of life and that everything is meaningless.

Seriously... my 9 year old had an existential crisis. He asked why are we here. He wants to know the meaning of life.... at 9.

Lots of fun at 9:45 at night.


oh hell, just get him one of these:

 

spacer.png

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