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  1. Machinator

    Machinator

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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 04/30/21 in Posts

  1. "Do you also want Hunter Biden's hard drives?" "No." "Why not?" "Because they don't exist and you're making this up." "How do you know that?" "From the information we gathered on your hard drives."
    16 points
  2. I’m mildly drunk and a little bitter. There is a portion of the society that stopped working in March or started some work from home routine. There are some jobs and some individuals that can perform while WFH as well or better than going in to the office, but really, that majority of people out there fuck off even more. Based on what I’ve seen from my kids school system and my company’s acct, sales and customer service divisions, I’d say 60% efficiency is generous. These were salary peoples, and these groups kept getting paid the same to sit around at home. Most of these people don’t realize what kind of supply chain it really takes for milk to be delivered to their door weekly. Then there was a portion of society that went in to work every day, even in March. Nurses, grocery store stockers, farmers, operators, etc. These were mostly hourly type employees, they were told they were essential, and that they had to keep showing up, and if they didn’t they didn’t get paid. They kept shit going in this country so that everyone still had internet, electricity, gas, healthcare, food AND could fuck off at home and pretend that the country was shut down. Now we have everyone in group one still wanting to fuck off at home while group 2 takes care of them. And group 1 tends to look down their nose at group 2. At my work place, we recently had the CA group flat out refuse to come back to the office because they didnt feel comfortable even though we’ve required masks, distancing, sanitizing, and restricted/stopped non employees from entering their building. They didn’t have any problem continuing to get paid while the hourly staff showed up every day and interacted with each other, or outiside drivers and contractors to keep product moving though. Country is full of a bunch of hypocrites that want to be lazy and make it we groups risk their lives for them. I’m going to open another bottle now.
    11 points
  3. There's a recruit named "Bai Jobe?" Holy cow, that may be the greatest name for a receiver I've ever heard. "Did he catch it?" "Bai Jobe, I think he's got it!"
    9 points
  4. Ron Johnson's response:
    9 points
  5. Carville: Democrats have a wokeness problem Majority of Americans: The nation has a red pilling problem
    9 points
  6. He has his country’s 500th anniversary to plan, his wedding to arrange, his wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. He’s swamped!
    9 points
  7. I told my wife about the poop knife last night. I explained how it worked and then how there was a chick that would slice it up. She started dry heaving and almost puked. She couldn’t believe it was real. I asked how she got all those pieces of bills sitting in our laundry room. She almost puked again.
    8 points
  8. Najee Harris held a draft party at a homeless shelter: https://www.nbcsports.com/bayarea/49ers/najee-harris-threw-nfl-draft-party-richmond-homeless-shelter This is pretty awesome of him.
    8 points
  9. I thought you were purty, I thought you were nice, You were butterflies, sugar and spice, But I got busted, things are a mess, For layin' my pipe at an illegal IP address; © 2021 Have A Seat Music, Inc.
    8 points
  10. When daughter was a freshmen or so in high school she was babysitting our neighbor's daughter. The neighbor's had several inside dogs. The dogs got into a fight and in the ensuing melee of getting the child out of the way my daughter got nipped on her hand. I am outside working in the yard and I see my daughter calmly walking down the street holding her hand up and walking with the kid. We come inside so that I can clean it up and inspect the wound. The wife (now ex) sees it and freaks out. This is early afternoon. Ex: She needs to go to the hospital. Me: She will be fine. Daughter: It is fine mom. Throughout the day the ex constantly tells me that I should take the daughter to the hospital. Finally, to appease, her I agree. Me: Ok, I will take her to the hospital. Let's go. Ex: I cannot go because I am going to have dinner with a friend. Me: OK, never mind. I will take her myself. Get to the hospital and they ask what happened. Tell them she was bitten by a dog. Great. Now the law has to come to make a report since it was a dog bite. They have to come from the neighboring town where it happened. A solid hour plus wait. The cop shows up. We know him. He is one of two cops in our town at the time. After explaining the event and telling him not to worry about anything. Cop: Doesn't look too bad. Your mom make you come up here? Daughter and I: Yes.. Cop: Well, good luck. After more waiting. The doc comes in and inspects it. Doc: Who cleaned up your bite and bandaged it? Me: I did. Doc: You did a good job. It will not require stitches are anything. I will just bandage it back up and you will be good to go as it is not too bad. He did give her a sling so that she could rest her arm in it. After several hours away we are finally on our way home. The daughter and I scheme a plan. When we finally get home the ex is back. The daughter walks in gingerly and is expressing a lot of pain and discomfort and is complaining about having to wear a sling for a minimum of a week. Wife sees this and freaks out. Ex: I knew it was bad since you have been gone so long and she is in obvious pain. Me: If you knew it was so bad why didn't you take her earlier or drop your plans and go with us? You didn't even call us while we were away to check on her. Ex: (no words) Daughter and I could not keep the charade up any longer because we began to laugh. Ex not happy.
    8 points
  11. That’s so on brand for a Cowboys fan
    8 points
  12. What part of "he's transferring because he wants to play linebacker" is difficult to grasp here?
    7 points
  13. Plot twist, his body is in the shape of the Longhorn. We are his secret choice.
    7 points
  14. Yeah, it's gone through our 2 year old, me, our 7 year old and my mom. My wife might have gotten it last night. It sucks. And trust me if you get it. What you think is a fart is definitely not a fart.
    7 points
  15. Carville is smart, shrewd, and ruthless. Dems need more like him. Even when I was "against" him, I respected the hell out of him. Relevant example: his client, Bill Clinton, is one of the smartest men to hold the office and probably the biggest policy wonk, too. Mayor Pete caliber. Yet Carville kept him well in touch with his good ol country boy side and the messaging reflected that. Not a hint of "coastal elite" for Bill, but while there was a "country core," he was every bit as coastal elite as GHWB, albeit in an academic rather than aristocratic way. James Carville goes a long way to explaining why Bill is Bill and a two-term president and HIllary, without him, is sitting on her wide ass after having lost to probably the biggest dumbfuck to ever hold the office.
    7 points
  16. Roger Stone getting convicted again on conspiracy and bribery was not the turn of events I expected here. But it's a pleasant plot twist.
    7 points
  17. Emma. Pushing 17. So old. So sweet. Vet put her on some new glucosamine pill that has one molecule tweaked. She is moving like she's 13 again.
    6 points
  18. Buck Owens model signed by Buck Owens!
    6 points
  19. The Banks stuff sounds fucking legit and differentiated. That kind of approach creates competitive advantages and can directly win football games.
    6 points
  20. I think it would be more accurate to say he’s going to squeal like a pig.
    6 points
  21. Hello, I'd like to report a murder:
    6 points
  22. No no no no no no NO Those traitors were business owners and CTOs making $250,000 and cops and defense contractors and realtors who flew to DC on PRIVATE FUCKING JETS. Quit excusing racist traitorous violent thugs with this “economic anxiety” bullshittery, Bernie. God.
    6 points
  23. I've told this one on TOS. I went through a horrible, 5-year custody battle over my daughter. It's a long story. Anyway, I picked her up from daycare when she was about 2 1/2 years old. It was Mother's Day weekend. She had an armful of Mother's Day cards, drawings, etc... As I drove her over to her mom's house, I started thinking about how cool it would be to get this kind of stuff when Father's Day came around. This was kind of odd for me, because I'd never really been the sentimental type. Fast forward to Father's Day. She gets in the car with absolutely nothing. (The daycare had so many fatherless kids, they decided to omit the arts and crafts for dads. I didn't take it personally.) So anyway, we're driving to my place. I'm a little sad that I didn't get anything. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I hear, "Happy Father's Day Daddy. I love you" in the tiniest little voice. She had never spoken those words before to me. I damn near had to pull over it got so dusty. We're as tight as a father and daughter can possibly be today. I'm so glad I fought for her. It would have been so easy to say "F it" and move back to Texas at the time. Hard to believe she's a handful of months from graduating college.
    6 points
  24. If someone said my wearing a mask makes them uncomfortable I’d just say “fuck your feelings.”
    6 points
  25. Day 2 has double the draft picks with same amount of time , and still a ton of good players that can really help an NFL roster immediately. Probably my favorite day of the NFL DRAFT...
    5 points
  26. 4 month old Diva from neighborhood dog park
    5 points
  27. Same, but just could never get one going.
    5 points
  28. damn!! only problem was he didn't light the gas. https://www.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/n1n7qa/wcgw_when_trying_to_rob_someone_who_is_loading/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
    5 points
  29. Antifa is cool, actually. Plenty of them are idiots, but people who will punch nazis in the face are cool in my book.
    5 points
  30. Otto West/workswithseed: Apes don't read philosophy. Wanda/Nivek : Yes they do, Otto. They just don't understand it. Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.
    5 points
  31. "When Laying Pipe Goes Wrong" Steel Shank's next Country hit.
    5 points
  32. Hats off to Houston's CW 39 for coming up with a genius way to explain the difference between a tornado watch and tornado warning.
    5 points
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