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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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1 hour ago, Lidig8r said:

Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me, but I attend a small state university in the south. I am in a frat and love the Greek life. We throw frequent parties in which we float a number of kegs and try to loosen the morals (and legs) of as many coeds as possible. But recently, a local 35 year old MILF has begun to attend our parties. She is fun, is really hot as in 5'6", about 125 lbs, blondish hair falling to just below her shoulders and her measurements are 36D, 26, 36. So, you might be wondering how I know her exact measurements ... and that is where this story REALLY begins ...

There's no way that chick is that hot. 

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On 7/12/2023 at 10:05 PM, msucolt45 said:

I’ve been married for 31 years, but roughly the last two decades, my wife started saying “you know what I’m saying” for every F’ng thing! I really don’t know where she picked that up, but “You know what I’m saying?”

Hook’em!!!

namsayin-were-the-millers.gif

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Re: wine glasses.  My wife inherited her Grandmother's crystal a few years back.  I guess the fact that she was never allowed to touch it as a child has created an incessant desire to touch it and use it as an adult.  Every time she gets herself a glass of wine, she uses a an antique, irreplaceable crystal wine glass, and then leaves it on the end table or right on the edge of the kitchen sink.  Haven't broken one yet, but I know the day will come and the wailing will be epic.  And it will somehow be my fault.  

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28 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

Re: wine glasses.  My wife inherited her Grandmother's crystal a few years back.  I guess the fact that she was never allowed to touch it as a child has created an incessant desire to touch it and use it as an adult.  Every time she gets herself a glass of wine, she uses a an antique, irreplaceable crystal wine glass, and then leaves it on the end table or right on the edge of the kitchen sink.  Haven't broken one yet, but I know the day will come and the wailing will be epic.  And it will somehow be my fault.  

interesting tactic, posting this, knowing your wife has her own account here and at some point will probably read it. 

is this your pre-emptive "told you so" for when it happens?

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1 hour ago, AUS-97HORN said:

interesting tactic, posting this, knowing your wife has her own account here and at some point will probably read it. 

is this your pre-emptive "told you so" for when it happens?

 

16 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

huh?

Pics?

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1 hour ago, AUS-97HORN said:

... knowing your wife has her own account here and at some point will probably read it...

Season 9 Smh GIF by The Office

I've shared it elsewhere, so this isn't a big reveal, but my wife is a Sooner.  The level of disdain she has for this site is palpable.

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2 hours ago, Guadaloopy said:

Re: wine glasses.  My wife inherited her Grandmother's crystal a few years back.  I guess the fact that she was never allowed to touch it as a child has created an incessant desire to touch it and use it as an adult.  Every time she gets herself a glass of wine, she uses a an antique, irreplaceable crystal wine glass, and then leaves it on the end table or right on the edge of the kitchen sink.  Haven't broken one yet, but I know the day will come and the wailing will be epic.  And it will somehow be my fault.  

My parents bought all kinds of crystal drinkware when I was a kid. After my mom died 15 years ago, my dad kept pushing us to take some. My sister took a few pieces but he keeps bugging her about it. Now she's trying to get him to pester me instead. Fuck that noise. 

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6 hours ago, Superhero said:

My friend who drove to SD last week… 

IMG_0664.thumb.jpeg.669db99ac5c8d3d2e733ae9fcb08cab2.jpeg

IMG_0665.thumb.jpeg.3343be76e85a7264c491fd2e751aed78.jpeg
 

IMG_0666.thumb.jpeg.4bcf876fe4fd72de289f37804f1b7fe2.jpeg
 

Radio silence after that.

He’ll probably come to me on Sunday and complain about how the kids didn’t really need him.

 

 

I seriously want to do this to him.

IMG_0667.gif.9d77bf3d78217213a781b408207e1ad2.gif

Hang on.  Who are we making fun of here and why? The guy who is staying home to take care of his kids while his wife is sick? Other than the din din comment, this is what a man acts like. 

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On 7/12/2023 at 2:20 PM, nnm said:

When Mrs NNM wants me or someone else to do something, the way she asks is “do you want to ….,” e.g.: “do you want to go get the holiday decorations from the attic?”  This particularly rankles our son in law.

I’ve explained many times that invariably, the honest answer to such a question is no. The person doesn’t really WANT to do the task, but will be happy to if asked nicely.

A better way to phrase the question is “Would you please go get the holiday decorations from the attic?”  

The preferred method of stating the question is never used  

 

My wife always asks, “Will you do something for me?”

My answer every time is, “Probably. What?”

I’m a man of few words  

 

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3 hours ago, Frank The Tank said:

Hang on.  Who are we making fun of here and why? The guy who is staying home to take care of his kids while his wife is sick? Other than the din din comment, this is what a man acts like. 

 

3 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

Dude- get off his ass. 

 

3 hours ago, SilasCoade said:

Was this one of those men's rights groups? Your advice was terrible.

Oh wait, this was real?  I thought it was like stupid shit you see on facebook or something.

A men's rights group?  At a church?  That's some weird shit.

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2 hours ago, Frank The Tank said:

Hang on.  Who are we making fun of here and why? The guy who is staying home to take care of his kids while his wife is sick? Other than the din din comment, this is what a man acts like. 

 

2 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

Dude- get off his ass. 

 

2 hours ago, SilasCoade said:

Was this one of those men's rights groups? Your advice was terrible.

I stand by my words. I’ve known them for a long time now and he’s one of the nicest guys I know and his wife walks all over him. Even my wife looked at the text chain and said he needs to stand up for himself.

If the kids were 3 and 1, then I’d give them a pass, but they’re 12 and 10 and don’t need a babysitter.

 

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On 7/12/2023 at 3:20 PM, nnm said:

When Mrs NNM wants me or someone else to do something, the way she asks is “do you want to ….,” e.g.: “do you want to go get the holiday decorations from the attic?”  This particularly rankles our son in law.

I’ve explained many times that invariably, the honest answer to such a question is no. The person doesn’t really WANT to do the task, but will be happy to if asked nicely.

A better way to phrase the question is “Would you please go get the holiday decorations from the attic?”  

The preferred method of stating the question is never used  

 

It’s an epidemic or contagious. My wife and mother-in-law both do this and now my mom has started it as well. My response every time is “No, but I will if you ask nicely.”

 

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2 minutes ago, royiv said:

He’s a bigger man than you for not wanting to go to some men’s group circle jerk at a church. He probably stayed home, ate a big steak, drank a good scotch and plowed his wife. Like a real man.

Very unlikely that he plowed his WIFE.  That’s a rare feat for most men on any given night.

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1 hour ago, Superhero said:

 

 

I stand by my words. I’ve known them for a long time now and he’s one of the nicest guys I know and his wife walks all over him. Even my wife looked at the text chain and said he needs to stand up for himself.

If the kids were 3 and 1, then I’d give them a pass, but they’re 12 and 10 and don’t need a babysitter.

 

I stand by my words.

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2 hours ago, Superhero said:

 

 

I stand by my words. I’ve known them for a long time now and he’s one of the nicest guys I know and his wife walks all over him. Even my wife looked at the text chain and said he needs to stand up for himself.

If the kids were 3 and 1, then I’d give them a pass, but they’re 12 and 10 and don’t need a babysitter.

 

Team @Superhero here. It doesn’t sound like a “men’s rights” rally at a church.  More like a seminar/teaching to help men figure out how to be the man that their children, wife, friends, and church need them to be. Our culture is completely bankrupt on that issue, and it sounds like exactly what this guy needs. Whether he’s deflecting or not, it sounds like exactly what he needs. 

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11 minutes ago, nnm said:

Team @Superhero here. It doesn’t sound like a “men’s rights” rally at a church.  More like a seminar/teaching to help men figure out how to be the man that their children, wife, friends, and church need them to be. Our culture is completely bankrupt on that issue, and it sounds like exactly what this guy needs. Whether he’s deflecting or not, it sounds like exactly what he needs. 

This dude drove 50 miles to check his wife's 29 PSI tire. 

I agree he could probably use a little men's support group time and get out of the house. 

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16 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Yes

Yeah, I was going to go Anti- Superhero on this until I realized its also PSI guy. Welp. Nevermind. I'm now pro Superhero.

I'll confess, my first read through of the screen shot reminded me of the probably thousands of times I've used my wife or kids being "sick" to get out of shit I agreed to go to when I was drunk.

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14 hours ago, nnm said:

Team @Superhero here. It doesn’t sound like a “men’s rights” rally at a church.  More like a seminar/teaching to help men figure out how to be the man that their children, wife, friends, and church need them to be. Our culture is completely bankrupt on that issue, and it sounds like exactly what this guy needs. Whether he’s deflecting or not, it sounds like exactly what he needs. 

This dude has it right. Well said brother...although being the man/husband my wife needs/wants me to be would mean I was dead. Sad but true...

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