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6figs/"Trust the Hamm" greatest hits


Machinator

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  • 1 month later...

How hard can it be to fleece aggy when it comes to 'cruitin? How many times has Hammster screwed it up?

Whoop, SEC! Got Jimbo. This is the year. Sleeping giant. Best class in history.  He was never convincted. Jimbo is a qb whisperer. Whoop! Hey remember when we beat Bama? We didn't want that kid anyway. Ole Miss and Miss St are sure Ws. We've had a lot of injuries.  That was a minor setback.  Sips are screwing us. SEC is the hardest conference. Evar. Trust Jimbo? Next year is our year. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. 

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45 minutes ago, Dr. Teeth said:

Guys, he is an obvious tech startup genius. He spelled the word in a fun, quirky way that shows that he is ready for war in these advanced technological times. 

My guess is that he forgot to use spellcheck. 

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He’s definitely trying to be an NIL go between. He’ll have all his kids doing promotional spots for pool companies and, what was is they’ve already crushed, small batch sunflower seeds?

 

Also, pure Hamm to be getting it in the NIL game and call it recruiting. That’s a violation, bud, on tweet one. 

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1 hour ago, Deej said:

"The Naritiv"

Sounds like a gay porn site that tries to put focus more on the storylines. 

Shhhhhh...He might actually make 6 figs from that idea.  Could be some good storylines around him chasing young recruits into the mens room and manning the glory hole. He won't even have to get on his knees. 

He's back just in time to see the Horns put an ass whipping on aggy in recruiting.

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20 hours ago, billfromlaketravis said:

When I opened this thread, I fully expected to read Hamm had secured a position selling life insurance in Montgomery. 

I’m from Montgomery. I used to sell title Insurance there. This hits uncomfortably close to home. 

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18 minutes ago, texifornia said:

 

His entire world is motivated by fantasies of retribution against everyone who giggled at him. Now he's going to usher in the new era where he's the single leader in burning down the entire recruiting media universe for spurning him. Take that, Internet. 

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56 minutes ago, Noah Fence said:

So how exactly will this work for recruits who live in states that don’t allow high school kids to get NIL. 

It isn’t. This dipshit thinks he is going to teach kids to extort recruiting services for info. He’s going to end up getting some kids declared ineligible and probably get fucking sued by some parents. 

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5 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

It isn’t. This dipshit thinks he is going to teach kids to extort recruiting services for info. He’s going to end up getting some kids declared ineligible and probably get fucking sued by some parents. 

Judgment has never been his strong suit. Boy. 

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Hamm released a new, more modest, business purpose.

We are going to re-train recruits on how to interact with bathroom attendants. Once they realize they hold all the accoutrements, it’s "game on" for all involved. We will make sure they protect every aspect of their name, image and likeness while having a little fun amongst the porcelain.

Edited by Chopper
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