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ztejas

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https://www.theonion.com/tim-duncan-claims-he-has-helped-over-20-000-women-with-1848194885

SAN ANTONIO, TX—Coming clean about his off-the-court exploits during his 19 years in the NBA, former San Antonio Spurs power forward Tim Duncan reportedly claimed Thursday that he has helped over 20,000 women with sensible retirement planning. “In my playing days, every city we played in, I had at least a couple women who I’d call up and give advice to about low-risk, long-term investment strategies,” said Duncan, adding that in his prime, he was doing tax counseling with six or seven women per day. “What can I say? The women would just come to me. They knew I had a smart approach to SEP IRAs and wanted to see what mutual funds I felt confident in. I’d get my assistant to call them up before I got to their city, so usually they’d be waiting for me at my hotel, folders of tax preparation documents in hand. I don’t think any NBA player ever provided as many pragmatic retirement solutions to women as I did. One time, I even stayed up all night helping twins establish a spending plan. Man, the mineral water was flowing that night.” Duncan added that throughout his career, his then-wife knew what he was up to while he was on the road, but put up with it because she shared his belief that other women would benefit from having the knowledge that would empower them to make their own financial decisions.

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I thought about taking my mom to the Nets game last night because it costs roughly 15 percent of what it costs to go to a Knicks game (Seriously it’s harder getting tickets to see the Islanders than the Nets), but my mom was not feeling up to it. They had tickets going for 22 which is ridiculously cheap considering the Sixers are still a pretty good team. I would have had to pay more for a movie ticket to see Spider-Man last night than that. Looks like it wound up being a pretty good game though for those that got to see it.
 

 

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12 hours ago, ztejas said:

How are we feeling about James Harden?

As a Rocket fan, I’m thankful that the circumstances forced a trade at an optimal time. I don’t think we would have received Brooklyn's 2022, 2024 and 2026 first-rounders, Milwaukee's 2022 first-rounder (via Brooklyn) and four future pick swap options with Brooklyn at this point. 

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1 hour ago, UpperWestside said:

I thought about taking my mom to the Nets game last night because it costs roughly 15 percent of what it costs to go to a Knicks game (Seriously it’s harder getting tickets to see the Islanders than the Nets), but my mom was not feeling up to it. They had tickets going for 22 which is ridiculously cheap considering the Sixers are still a pretty good team. I would have had to pay more for a movie ticket to see Spider-Man last night than that. Looks like it wound up being a pretty good game though for those that got to see it.
 

 

I remember Jr’s first visit with us in Upstate, we went down to the city and were going to catch a Knicks game, wait in line and when I finally get to the front ask if there’s 2 available.  Dude tells it’d be $500+ bucks… I’m like, whoa, just want to watch the game not sit on the bench.  We ended up getting a pair from SeatGeek, much cheaper. 

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1 hour ago, Underdog said:

I remember Jr’s first visit with us in Upstate, we went down to the city and were going to catch a Knicks game, wait in line and when I finally get to the front ask if there’s 2 available.  Dude tells it’d be $500+ bucks… I’m like, whoa, just want to watch the game not sit on the bench.  We ended up getting a pair from SeatGeek, much cheaper. 

That whole deal with companies entertaining clients by pay through the nose to see a Knicks game makes it hard to want to go to MSG. My last trip there was for the Big East tourney a couple of years back when Ewing was coaching against Mullin. 

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2 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


So bring him back around Valentine’s Day when they’re 15 games back from the 10 seed?


Done for year. Then he’ll announce he’s unhappy with the roster and will demand a trade.

Dude has played about 70 gms and they will give him 200M+......................and THEN he will demand a trade

 

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2 hours ago, UpperWestside said:

That whole deal with companies entertaining clients by pay through the nose to see a Knicks game makes it hard to want to go to MSG. My last trip there was for the Big East tourney a couple of years back when Ewing was coaching against Mullin. 

Went to the Okie City/Laker game last week.  Friday night.  I was surprised at the number of Laker fans that made the trip.  When you think about it, though, it's cheaper to fly a cheap flight from Southern California to OK, get a hotel in Okie City than it would be to see a game at Staples.  Knicks and MSG prolly the same deal.

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12 hours ago, ztejas said:

https://www.theonion.com/tim-duncan-claims-he-has-helped-over-20-000-women-with-1848194885

SAN ANTONIO, TX—Coming clean about his off-the-court exploits during his 19 years in the NBA, former San Antonio Spurs power forward Tim Duncan reportedly claimed Thursday that he has helped over 20,000 women with sensible retirement planning. “In my playing days, every city we played in, I had at least a couple women who I’d call up and give advice to about low-risk, long-term investment strategies,” said Duncan, adding that in his prime, he was doing tax counseling with six or seven women per day. “What can I say? The women would just come to me. They knew I had a smart approach to SEP IRAs and wanted to see what mutual funds I felt confident in. I’d get my assistant to call them up before I got to their city, so usually they’d be waiting for me at my hotel, folders of tax preparation documents in hand. I don’t think any NBA player ever provided as many pragmatic retirement solutions to women as I did. One time, I even stayed up all night helping twins establish a spending plan. Man, the mineral water was flowing that night.” Duncan added that throughout his career, his then-wife knew what he was up to while he was on the road, but put up with it because she shared his belief that other women would benefit from having the knowledge that would empower them to make their own financial decisions.

The fact that Tim Duncan got duped out of millions by his financial advisor makes this joke really miss the mark.

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13 hours ago, ztejas said:

https://www.theonion.com/tim-duncan-claims-he-has-helped-over-20-000-women-with-1848194885

SAN ANTONIO, TX—Coming clean about his off-the-court exploits during his 19 years in the NBA, former San Antonio Spurs power forward Tim Duncan reportedly claimed Thursday that he has helped over 20,000 women with sensible retirement planning. “In my playing days, every city we played in, I had at least a couple women who I’d call up and give advice to about low-risk, long-term investment strategies,” said Duncan, adding that in his prime, he was doing tax counseling with six or seven women per day. “What can I say? The women would just come to me. They knew I had a smart approach to SEP IRAs and wanted to see what mutual funds I felt confident in. I’d get my assistant to call them up before I got to their city, so usually they’d be waiting for me at my hotel, folders of tax preparation documents in hand. I don’t think any NBA player ever provided as many pragmatic retirement solutions to women as I did. One time, I even stayed up all night helping twins establish a spending plan. Man, the mineral water was flowing that night.” Duncan added that throughout his career, his then-wife knew what he was up to while he was on the road, but put up with it because she shared his belief that other women would benefit from having the knowledge that would empower them to make their own financial decisions.

He really earned the nickname "Big Fundamental" with his sound investing and diverse portfolio management style. 

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41 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

The fact that Tim Duncan got duped out of millions by his financial advisor makes this joke really miss the mark.

Well yes - jokes tend to be less funny when they are ruined. 

Timmy and his attorneys got a nice settlement and sent that dude to prison. I think they got the last laugh. 

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12 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Well yes - jokes tend to be less funny when they are ruined. 

Timmy and his attorneys got a nice settlement and sent that dude to prison. I think they got the last laugh. 

I think they got about $7 million back and the dude took him for like $20 or $25 million or something like that. I'm sure he got some of it, but there's no way he came out close to whole on that deal.

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56 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

I think they got about $7 million back and the dude took him for like $20 or $25 million or something like that. I'm sure he got some of it, but there's no way he came out close to whole on that deal.

7.5 and 20 were the #s I saw. Definitely pretty eye for an eye. And ironically he got caught because Timmy was going through a divorce.

But - is 4 years in prison worth 10-12M? 

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Just now, aggie08 said:

Man, I can't wait to hear the daily updates on what counties he can and can't play in from ESPN!

- Nobody

A part-time player who has issues alienating teammates in his past and is also not the sharpest tool in the shed. What could possibly go wrong?

You got Durant out there being a real leader and now they have to have this guy come in and mess with their chemistry when he is one of the reasons they are short-handed in the first place. 

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1 hour ago, UpperWestside said:

A part-time player who has issues alienating teammates in his past and is also not the sharpest tool in the shed. What could possibly go wrong?

You got Durant out there being a real leader and now they have to have this guy come in and mess with their chemistry when he is one of the reasons they are short-handed in the first place. 

Let's not conflate off court Kyrie with on court Kyrie - although it's easy to do so. 

Nets have been plugging and playing all season long and having to try and develop chemistry and continuity on the fly. I think there is a zero percent chance they are worse with Kyrie playing road games. He isn't Westbrook (sorry).

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These are really, really great and just came across it. Whatever you think of the Nets it's a super cool look and well produced and I haven't seen anything else like it from other teams (although it might be out there - let me know).

 

Two notes:

- Their practice facility is absolutely fucking ridiculous (look at 1:30 in the 3rd vid).

- Patty's wife is hot as shit. 

 

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6 hours ago, ztejas said:

These are really, really great and just came across it. Whatever you think of the Nets it's a super cool look and well produced and I haven't seen anything else like it from other teams (although it might be out there - let me know).

 

Two notes:

- Their practice facility is absolutely fucking ridiculous (look at 1:30 in the 3rd vid).

- Patty's wife is hot as shit. 

 

In the second video they just casually showed what I'm fairly certain is world famous chef Marcus Samuelsson dribbling a ball with Patty at the 8:30 mark. Random but cool.

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1 hour ago, Message Board User said:

 

 

1 hour ago, Message Board User said:

🤣🤣🤣

Durant was sitting tonight anyway but yeesh. Might need to pause the season. Nets are at least looking at games being pped - that's 9 guys including Kyrie out with covid or health and safety and now Claxton is doubtful. 

2 hours ago, Llogg said:

In the second video they just casually showed what I'm fairly certain is world famous chef Marcus Samuelsson dribbling a ball with Patty at the 8:30 mark. Random but cool.

I spied that too. 

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I mean obviously AD was getting injured at some point but the real wild card that I enjoyed was signing Isaiah Thomas from the G league and playing him 22 minutes last night. A guy that should not be in the NBA and rightfully hasn't been. 

I can't wait to see what they do next. Actually try and trade Westbrook? Coax Ray Allen out of retirement? Fire someone? The anticipation is truly palpable.

The Bill Simmons over/under on when we see a "LeBron may return home to Cleveland" rumor is getting particularly interesting. 

I'd also love to know which idiots are putting money on them winning the Finals to keep them as like the 4th or 5th favorite. 

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31 minutes ago, ztejas said:

The Bill Simmons over/under on when we see a "LeBron may return home to Cleveland" rumor is getting particularly interesting. 

As intriguing as this is, it's just not realistic for two main reasons:

1) The Lakers would ask for a king's ransom (get it....lebron....king's ransom...I'll show myself out) that would include at least 2 of Mobley/Allen/Garland and that's not going to happen

2) The chemistry in the Cavs organization is incredible right now and Lebron would totally disrupt that

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38 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I mean obviously AD was getting injured at some point but the real wild card that I enjoyed was signing Isaiah Thomas from the G league and playing him 22 minutes last night. A guy that should not be in the NBA and rightfully hasn't been. 

I can't wait to see what they do next. Actually try and trade Westbrook? Coax Ray Allen out of retirement? Fire someone? The anticipation is truly palpable.

The Bill Simmons over/under on when we see a "LeBron may return home to Cleveland" rumor is getting particularly interesting. 

I'd also love to know which idiots are putting money on them winning the Finals to keep them as like the 4th or 5th favorite. 

What's with the IT hate?

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