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Taliban Continues to Create Onion-like Headlines (was: Militants Fed Up With Office Culture)


Rimbo

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I can see how Mohamed is bitching to Abdul about how boring shit is at the cube farm In the Eduction Ministry, nothing to do but stamp decrees to close girls’ schools and pull all the USAID donated books of the library shelves, and then all the other books too. And one thing leads to another and they’re back in the saddle assaulting Iranian border posts. 

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Pos rep

i don’t want to discount the journalist who wrote this serious article was/is in a marked level of personal peril.  But where did they think we were gonna go with this story?  I mean, I’m laughing at the possibilities for motivational posters for the break room to the corporate team building day.  
after office space, there’s hundreds of parody opportunities with the Office, both BBC and NBC.  

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12 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Pos rep

i don’t want to discount the journalist who wrote this serious article was/is in a marked level of personal peril.  But where did they think we were gonna go with this story?  I mean, I’m laughing at the possibilities for motivational posters for the break room to the corporate team building day.  
after office space, there’s hundreds of parody opportunities with the Office, both BBC and NBC.  

61UxTTMY86L._AC_UF894,1000_QL80_.jpg

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1 minute ago, MissingInAction said:

Kabul was cooler in 2012.

well it certainly seems to have literally gotten away more corporate since then.

"Abdul, it's come to my attention that you had sex with the cleaning lady here in the office..."

-Was that wrong?  Should I not have done that?  I gotta plead Koran ignorance, here.   

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Pos Rep to all your glorious bastards! 

I spent more than a night in Afghanistan. One of the hardest things I had to deal with was getting my MEL team to fucking write their reports. All these dudes wanted to do was cruise into battle areas on their Honda motorcycles (125's) and hang out with farmers. And yet USAID was yelling at me for TPS reports. 

Afghanistan pre-taliban take over was all about bureaucracy. Try getting a meeting with the Ministry of Agriculture. 

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2 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

This quote:

Look, Akhtar, I know why we joined the Taliban. Yes, to kill the infidels who came to our land. Yes, to rejoice over the blasphemous schools we closed. Yes, to seek glorious martyrdom. Yes, to earn the houri in Jinnah. But you know….maybe the real Jinnah was all the friends we made along the way? 

There's something depressingly ironic about a former Taliban jihadist having cushier work hours than most Americans and complaining about it. 

Gotta love late stage capitalism. 

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2 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

All jokes aside I'd chalk this up as a win in afghanistan. 

 

I mean ... that's still also a joke.

 

2 minutes ago, Michael Knight said:

I mean at this point the Onion is basically Nostradamus

 

https://www.theonion.com/disappointed-taliban-realizes-taking-over-afghanistan-m-1847510259

 

🌍👨‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀 Always has been

 

And y'all aren't giving YGIFS nearly enough rep for getting this discussion on the right track

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5 minutes ago, ztejas said:

There's something depressingly ironic about a former Taliban jihadist having cushier work hours than most Americans and complaining about it. 

Gotta love late stage capitalism. 

One thing overlooked is this. Afghanistan's bureaucracy (Men) went right back to work. The Talibs from the field cannot read or write. They had to sign in with the new regime to keep their jobs. When the US, NATO, and UN were there they were getting paid and food was coming in. Well that all ended for the most part. 

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8 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

And y'all aren't giving YGIFS nearly enough rep for getting this discussion on the right track

You can credit Mike Judge.  I was just shocked that it took us 5 posts to get there, we're slipping in our site's old age.  Levity aside, I do appreciate that almost any global event or trend arises, and we've got surly folks who've lived it, been there, know the region down to the part of town.  Plus we step up and help people who need help IRL (or as is the case this week, mourn their passing).  

In the meantime though, we've managed to, without really trying that hard, effectively crowdsourced a reboot of Office Space using the Taliban instead of North Austin tech dorks.  And the more scenes I reimagine, the funnier it gets.  Not that we have the comedic chops of the Zucker Bros., but I imagine this is what it felt like to adapt "Airplane" to the source material movie "Zero Hour."  

Fatwah Load Letter?  What the fuck does that mean?  

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  • Rimbo changed the title to Taliban Continues to Create Onion-like Headlines (was: Militants Fed Up With Office Culture)

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