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Conclave 2025: All of the Smoke, None of the Brisket


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Posted
56 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

70 years ago in Purto Rico when serving as an alter boy at Midnight Mass, I passed out while swinging the incense burner. &nbsp
Hated the stench of that holy hashish.

Same thing happened to me in 5th grade, it wasn't in Puerto Rico though it was just shitass Garland

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Posted
Just now, Captain Ron said:

Are they tailored to fit?

The tariffs on those tailored knockoff Chinese jerseys are probably crazy insane

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Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, Zepol87 said:

Same thing happened to me in 5th grade, it wasn't in Puerto Rico though it was just shitass Garland

Was mass in English, Spanish, Latin, or Vietnamese?

Edited by Pato del Muerto
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Posted
35 minutes ago, Gucci_Suit said:

Seeing that he is from Chicago, I doubt this Pope has ever shit in the woods. But he did spend time in Peru, so maybe. 

Yeah, but is it ok to yell "MOVIE" in a crowded firehouse?

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Posted
4 minutes ago, Chewbacca said:

Boy, they really struggle with the whole 'love your neighbor' thing, don't they?

"Where does Jesus say I should love a random person off the streets?"

I mean....in literally the first fucking book of the New Testament?

Quote

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

I mean, it's not even a vague concept like "love" -- it's a literal and direct call to action.  And does Jesus mean everyone, even your enemies, fall under that group?

Quote

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

In BOTH sections, the greek word is "agape," which is an action word, not a feeling word.  

It's all one of the more maddening things about MAGA Christians: how on the one hand, they wave the banner of "I'M A CHRISTIAN!" more aggressively than anyone else, while running away, as fast as they can, from THE ACTUAL FUCKING SCRIPTURES THAT ARE THE DEFINING TEXTS ON BEING A CHRISTIAN.

There's no lawyering around the commands, FROM JESUS, in Matthew.  The word used is agape, and it has meaning.  It's one they don't like.  But tough fucking shit, y'all keep telling us the Bible is inerrant, right?

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Posted

Appears he has a history of getting rid of POSs.

https://www.thetablet.co.uk/news/cardinal-robert-prevost-osa-from-united-states-is-pope-leo-xiv/

Quote

Cardinal Robert Prevost OSA from United States is Pope Leo XIV

 

Since succeeding Cardinal Marc Ouellet at the Dicastery of Bishops and becoming a cardinal shortly after, Prevost has led the search for candidates for the episcopate reflecting a more “pastoral” approach. He also faced a high-profile problem case soon after his appointment, directing the removal of the volatile Bishop Joseph Strickland from the Diocese of Tyler, Texas.

 

https://www.knoxnews.com/story/news/local/2025/05/08/pope-leo-xiv-oversaw-vatican-office-handled-knoxville-bishop-richard-stika-removal/83516078007/

 

Quote

Pope Leo XIV oversaw Vatican office that handled Bishop Richard Stika's removal

Catholics in Knoxville looking for a connection to the first American pope have a small one, although it's not as glamorous as they may hope.

Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost, who will go by the name Pope Leo XIV, was appointed prefect of the Dicastery for Bishops in January 2023 and was installed a few months later. The Vatican office, among other things, handles bishop resignations.

This is relevant, of course, because Richard Stika, the polarizing and former longtime Knoxville bishop, retired in June 2023 amid crippling scandals of his own making. Stika retired while Prevost was the leader over the dicastery office.

Stika was a week shy of 66 years old when he submitted his retirement notice to Pope Francis. Bishops almost never leave before the mandatory retirement age of 75 years old, and even then the pope frequently allows them to stay on.

Stika left under a cloud of mismanagement accusations, two explosive lawsuits against the diocese that have sullied diocesan leadership, and questions about his mentorship of a former seminarian who is accused of raping a former church employee.

The Dicastery for Bishops is a powerful office in the Vatican that oversees the selection and performance of bishops, who are regional Catholic Church leaders throughout the world.

 

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Posted
1 minute ago, NWBuck said:

Gonna sanctify Malort for high holy days, I'm sure. 

Not sure how the Chicago Pope chose the name of a Lion, though 

Pope "Go Ursus! I" woulda been awesome.

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Posted
17 minutes ago, Chewbacca said:

Boy, they really struggle with the whole 'love your neighbor' thing, don't they?

Shit, have you heard of the shit they'll do just over a fence? 

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Posted
2 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

Clearly you’ve never been to a non-denominational outdoor Easter service in Kerrville. 

Only because I was never trying to hook up with a hot girl who was attending such a service.  My college-age libido took me places I wouldn't go with a gun today.

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Posted
22 minutes ago, NWBuck said:

Gonna sanctify Malort for high holy days, I'm sure. 

Not sure how the Chicago Pope chose the name of a Lion, though 

he should have gone with Ursi 1

DA BEAR DA FIRST

22 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Pope "Go Ursus! I" woulda been awesome.

dammt beat me to it

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Posted
8 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

 

 

 

I fucking love it.  Let me re-state the core criticisms:

1)  A man who was just selected to lead a GLOBAL religious body....does not ascribe to a political belief of "America first, America to the exclusion of everyone else."

2) A man who was just selected to lead a Christian denomination - literally the MOTHER Christian denomination - ascribes to ideas like those found in the first book of the New Testament, like "treat the stranger, immigrant, and prisoner, with kindness," and "show kindness to your enemies."

 

Yes.  Their criticisms are exactly as fucking stupid as they sound when you put them in plain english.

 

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Posted
1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

I fucking love it.  Let me re-state the core criticisms:

1)  A man who was just selected to lead a GLOBAL religious body....does not ascribe to a political belief of "America first, America to the exclusion of everyone else."

2) A man who was just selected to lead a Christian denomination - literally the MOTHER Christian denomination - ascribes to ideas like those found in the first book of the New Testament, like "treat the stranger, immigrant, and prisoner, with kindness," and "show kindness to your enemies."

 

Yes.  Their criticisms are exactly as fucking stupid as they sound when you put them in plain english.

 

Did you know that he also sometimes posts in Spanish? I don't think there are even any Catholic Spanish speakers.

I'm gonna have to head on up to West for some kolaches and some real talk on the horrors of this new pope.

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Posted
1 hour ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

He should play “Sirius” by the Alan Parsons Project when he goes out on the balcony.

Somebody made the edit.  I just wish they would have dubbed in “And now, from Chicago, your new Pope, Robert Preeeeeevooooooost!”

 

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