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Conclave 2025: All of the Smoke, None of the Brisket


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Posted
56 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

70 years ago in Purto Rico when serving as an alter boy at Midnight Mass, I passed out while swinging the incense burner. &nbsp
Hated the stench of that holy hashish.

Same thing happened to me in 5th grade, it wasn't in Puerto Rico though it was just shitass Garland

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Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, Zepol87 said:

Same thing happened to me in 5th grade, it wasn't in Puerto Rico though it was just shitass Garland

Was mass in English, Spanish, Latin, or Vietnamese?

Edited by Pato del Muerto
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Posted
35 minutes ago, Gucci_Suit said:

Seeing that he is from Chicago, I doubt this Pope has ever shit in the woods. But he did spend time in Peru, so maybe. 

Yeah, but is it ok to yell "MOVIE" in a crowded firehouse?

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Posted

Appears he has a history of getting rid of POSs.

https://www.thetablet.co.uk/news/cardinal-robert-prevost-osa-from-united-states-is-pope-leo-xiv/

Quote

Cardinal Robert Prevost OSA from United States is Pope Leo XIV

 

Since succeeding Cardinal Marc Ouellet at the Dicastery of Bishops and becoming a cardinal shortly after, Prevost has led the search for candidates for the episcopate reflecting a more “pastoral” approach. He also faced a high-profile problem case soon after his appointment, directing the removal of the volatile Bishop Joseph Strickland from the Diocese of Tyler, Texas.

 

https://www.knoxnews.com/story/news/local/2025/05/08/pope-leo-xiv-oversaw-vatican-office-handled-knoxville-bishop-richard-stika-removal/83516078007/

 

Quote

Pope Leo XIV oversaw Vatican office that handled Bishop Richard Stika's removal

Catholics in Knoxville looking for a connection to the first American pope have a small one, although it's not as glamorous as they may hope.

Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost, who will go by the name Pope Leo XIV, was appointed prefect of the Dicastery for Bishops in January 2023 and was installed a few months later. The Vatican office, among other things, handles bishop resignations.

This is relevant, of course, because Richard Stika, the polarizing and former longtime Knoxville bishop, retired in June 2023 amid crippling scandals of his own making. Stika retired while Prevost was the leader over the dicastery office.

Stika was a week shy of 66 years old when he submitted his retirement notice to Pope Francis. Bishops almost never leave before the mandatory retirement age of 75 years old, and even then the pope frequently allows them to stay on.

Stika left under a cloud of mismanagement accusations, two explosive lawsuits against the diocese that have sullied diocesan leadership, and questions about his mentorship of a former seminarian who is accused of raping a former church employee.

The Dicastery for Bishops is a powerful office in the Vatican that oversees the selection and performance of bishops, who are regional Catholic Church leaders throughout the world.

 

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Posted
17 minutes ago, Chewbacca said:

Boy, they really struggle with the whole 'love your neighbor' thing, don't they?

Shit, have you heard of the shit they'll do just over a fence? 

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Posted
2 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

Clearly you’ve never been to a non-denominational outdoor Easter service in Kerrville. 

Only because I was never trying to hook up with a hot girl who was attending such a service.  My college-age libido took me places I wouldn't go with a gun today.

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Posted
22 minutes ago, NWBuck said:

Gonna sanctify Malort for high holy days, I'm sure. 

Not sure how the Chicago Pope chose the name of a Lion, though 

he should have gone with Ursi 1

DA BEAR DA FIRST

22 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Pope "Go Ursus! I" woulda been awesome.

dammt beat me to it

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Posted
8 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

 

 

 

I fucking love it.  Let me re-state the core criticisms:

1)  A man who was just selected to lead a GLOBAL religious body....does not ascribe to a political belief of "America first, America to the exclusion of everyone else."

2) A man who was just selected to lead a Christian denomination - literally the MOTHER Christian denomination - ascribes to ideas like those found in the first book of the New Testament, like "treat the stranger, immigrant, and prisoner, with kindness," and "show kindness to your enemies."

 

Yes.  Their criticisms are exactly as fucking stupid as they sound when you put them in plain english.

 

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Posted
1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

I fucking love it.  Let me re-state the core criticisms:

1)  A man who was just selected to lead a GLOBAL religious body....does not ascribe to a political belief of "America first, America to the exclusion of everyone else."

2) A man who was just selected to lead a Christian denomination - literally the MOTHER Christian denomination - ascribes to ideas like those found in the first book of the New Testament, like "treat the stranger, immigrant, and prisoner, with kindness," and "show kindness to your enemies."

 

Yes.  Their criticisms are exactly as fucking stupid as they sound when you put them in plain english.

 

Did you know that he also sometimes posts in Spanish? I don't think there are even any Catholic Spanish speakers.

I'm gonna have to head on up to West for some kolaches and some real talk on the horrors of this new pope.

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Posted
1 hour ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

He should play “Sirius” by the Alan Parsons Project when he goes out on the balcony.

Somebody made the edit.  I just wish they would have dubbed in “And now, from Chicago, your new Pope, Robert Preeeeeevooooooost!”

 

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