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Longboard Horn

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Worst bus driver I ever had was my 6th grade science teacher in Bridgeport. This guy was mental. He would lose his shit and hit the parking brake while we were still moving then get out of his seat and scream at everyone. He was only around for 1 year. Looking back, I can see where he was coming from.

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"This bum splitting turd (coprolite) was found in 1972 beneath the site of what was to become the York branch of Lloyds Bank and may be the largest example of fossilised human faeces ever found, measuring a whopping 20cm (8 in) long and 5cm (2 in) wide! Analysis of the stool has indicated that its producer subsisted largely on meat and bread whilst the presence of several hundred parasitic eggs suggests they were riddled with intestinal worms. In 1991, York Archaeological Trust employee and paleoscatologist, Dr Andrew Jones, made international news with his appraisal of the item for insurance purposes: "This is the most exciting piece of excrement I've ever seen... In its own way, it's as irreplaceable as the Crown Jewels". The layers that covered the coprolite were moist and peaty. They preserved not only the coprolite but also timber, textiles and leather. Put simply, this is a fossilized human turd. Possibly the largest and – bizarrely – most valuable poo on record. It dates back to approximately the 9th century and the person responsible is believed to be a Viking."


445174941_122153001404200825_7478386855212970521_n.thumb.jpg.dcafcedd1e38946edc9c774895f1e8c2.jpg

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3 hours ago, Hornius Emeritus said:

"This bum splitting turd (coprolite) was found in 1972 beneath the site of what was to become the York branch of Lloyds Bank and may be the largest example of fossilised human faeces ever found, measuring a whopping 20cm (8 in) long and 5cm (2 in) wide! Analysis of the stool has indicated that its producer subsisted largely on meat and bread whilst the presence of several hundred parasitic eggs suggests they were riddled with intestinal worms. In 1991, York Archaeological Trust employee and paleoscatologist, Dr Andrew Jones, made international news with his appraisal of the item for insurance purposes: "This is the most exciting piece of excrement I've ever seen... In its own way, it's as irreplaceable as the Crown Jewels". The layers that covered the coprolite were moist and peaty. They preserved not only the coprolite but also timber, textiles and leather. Put simply, this is a fossilized human turd. Possibly the largest and – bizarrely – most valuable poo on record. It dates back to approximately the 9th century and the person responsible is believed to be a Viking."


445174941_122153001404200825_7478386855212970521_n.thumb.jpg.dcafcedd1e38946edc9c774895f1e8c2.jpgface GIF

 

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On 5/26/2024 at 10:45 AM, Hornius Emeritus said:

"This bum splitting turd (coprolite) was found in 1972 beneath the site of what was to become the York branch of Lloyds Bank and may be the largest example of fossilised human faeces ever found, measuring a whopping 20cm (8 in) long and 5cm (2 in) wide! Analysis of the stool has indicated that its producer subsisted largely on meat and bread whilst the presence of several hundred parasitic eggs suggests they were riddled with intestinal worms. In 1991, York Archaeological Trust employee and paleoscatologist, Dr Andrew Jones, made international news with his appraisal of the item for insurance purposes: "This is the most exciting piece of excrement I've ever seen... In its own way, it's as irreplaceable as the Crown Jewels". The layers that covered the coprolite were moist and peaty. They preserved not only the coprolite but also timber, textiles and leather. Put simply, this is a fossilized human turd. Possibly the largest and – bizarrely – most valuable poo on record. It dates back to approximately the 9th century and the person responsible is believed to be a Viking."


445174941_122153001404200825_7478386855212970521_n.thumb.jpg.dcafcedd1e38946edc9c774895f1e8c2.jpg

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19 hours ago, Tex Long said:

I'm saving "paleoscatologist" for the next required form with a "profession" entry.

One of the few latinate  intrusions into proper English one might brook. Surely "paleoscatologist" as a professional title is more elegant than "oldshitworder"...

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So which Surly posters have been vacationing in Spain?

https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/30/travel/spain-tourist-fines-costa-brava-scli-intl/index.html

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The authorities in the town of Platja d’Aro, on Spain’s Costa Brava and around 60 miles northeast of Barcelona, have introduced fines for anyone daring to go out in public in costumes depicting genitalia or carrying sex dolls.

Individuals could be left with a $811 fine (€750) for “walking or standing on a street or public space without clothing, or only in underwear, or for wearing clothing or accessories that represent human genitals, or with dolls of a sexual nature,” a city hall spokesman told CNN Thursday.

 
 

Higher tolls of up to $1,620 (€1,500) could also be levied for anti-social behavior which causes more of a disturbance, though the exact nature of these offenses remains unclear.

and from the comments section of the article

Bruce Springsteen
4 hours ago

It is all just fun and games until someone brings a sex doll.

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28 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

 

The top of my ears have actually been drooping over since I turned 75 a few yearsago.

 

image.jpg

It's those Magoo glasses dragging down your head flaps.

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https://www.law360.com/insurance/articles/1847100/8th-circ-judge-calls-car-sex-clearly-foreseeable-in-hpv-suit

8th Circ. Judge Calls Car Sex 'Clearly Foreseeable' In HPV Suit

By Hope Patti ·  Listen to article

Law360 (June 12, 2024, 8:16 PM EDT) -- An Eighth Circuit judge said Wednesday that having sex in a vehicle is "clearly foreseeable," challenging Geico's contention that such activity does not constitute normal use of an automobile in a coverage suit over a woman's claim that she contracted HPV during sexual encounters in a policyholder's car. 

Geico General Insurance Co.'s counsel, Douglas S. Beck of Shook Hardy & Bacon LLP, contended during oral arguments that, under Kansas law, the policy issued to Martin Brauner does not cover liability for the woman's injury simply because the covered automobile was the location where transmission occurred. A Missouri federal court had accepted Geico's arguments in March 2023, when it concluded that the insurer was not obligated to cover Brauner against claims asserted by the woman, identified in court filings as M.O.

Citing a Kansas state appeals court's 1981 ruling in Farm Bureau Mutual Insurance Co. v. Evans , Beck asserted that an injury does not arise out of the "use" of an auto if it is caused by some intervening cause not identifiable with the normal use of an auto.

When asked by one of the judges what exactly "normal use" of an auto means, Beck responded that it means "using an auto as an auto." 

"Using an auto as an auto doesn't help me because it depends how you use an auto," the judge remarked.

Beck asserted that using an auto as an auto means using it for vehicular purposes, which is why Kansas courts have repeatedly found that using a vehicle as a shelter, or as the situs for bodily injury, is insufficient to create liability coverage.

He further contended that Garrison v. State Farm Mutual Automobile Insurance Co.  provides a good example of what it means to use an auto as an auto. In that case, the Kansas Supreme Court held in 1995 that a driver who was injured when a shotgun inside the vehicle accidentally discharged was entitled to coverage because the incident arose out of the use of a vehicle.

But one judge asked how the court can reconcile the language of the Garrison ruling — which states that coverage exists where the minimal causal connection between the use of the vehicle and the injury is provided by the foreseeable and reasonable use of the vehicle — with this case, when it's "clearly foreseeable" that people are going to have sex in cars.

Ultimately, Beck said, there has to be a causal connection between the use of the auto and the injury to trigger coverage. Otherwise, he asserted, the auto policy would be converted into a general liability policy with no restrictions.

M.O.'s counsel, David M. Mayer of Monsees & Mayer PC, argued that the Geico policy is "formatted in a manner that's confusing and not usual with most other policies," leading to more than one reasonable interpretation.

One reasonable interpretation is that the policy does not require a bodily injury claim to arise out of the "use" of a vehicle for there to be coverage, according to Mayer.

U.S. Circuit Judge Raymond W. Gruender asked whether a reasonable person would interpret the auto policy as covering his liability if he had a covered vehicle in his garage and someone tripped on his sidewalk and broke their leg.

"Under your reading, don't you have a claim under the auto policy?" the judge asked.

Another judge commented that Mayer seemed "hung up" on the formatting of the policy when the stronger argument was whether M.O.'s injury arose out of the use of an auto, saying he could hang his hat on the Garrison case. 

Mayer also contended that the Evans case is distinguishable because the injury occurred outside a vehicle, whereas M.O. was injured inside Brauner's car.

Geico's coverage suit against Brauner and M.O. commenced in April 2021, when it denied M.O.'s demand for payment to resolve her claims that Brauner negligently infected her with HPV during sexual encounters in his 2014 Hyundai Genesis.

Shortly before the insurer's denial, the woman and Brauner entered into an agreement in which her claims against him would be sent to arbitration and she would only seek recovery of any judgment from his insurers. The pair then arbitrated M.O.'s claims in May 2021, and she was awarded $5.2 million.

M.O. informed Geico of the award and sued Brauner in Missouri state court, which entered a judgment confirming the award in July 2021.

Geico was permitted to intervene in the suit on the same day judgment was entered but was unsuccessful in its attempts to vacate the judgment. A Missouri state appeals court affirmed the award in June 2022.

The Missouri Supreme Court, however, vacated the $5.2 million judgment in January 2023 because Geico wasn't given the opportunity to intervene before judgment was entered.

U.S. Circuit Judges Steven M. Colloton, Michael J. Melloy and Raymond W. Gruender sat on the appeals panel.

Geico is represented by J. Max Rosen and Cary B. Lerman of Munger Tolles & Olson LLP and W. Clark Richardson and Douglas S. Beck of Shook Hardy & Bacon LLP.

M.O. is represented by David M. Mayer and Phillip R. Martens of Monsees & Mayer PC.

Brauner is represented by Brian J. Niceswanger and Stephanie Anne Preut of Evans & Dixon LLC.

The case is Geico General Insurance Co. et al. v. M.O. et al., case number 23-1686, in the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Eighth Circuit.

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